EPTMany people in the world have problems with self-confidence. And seeing as how this site isn't a community of models or star athletes or musicians, many in this community have such problems. But with time and effort, self-confidence is a problem that can be solved. It is certainly worth it to do so, as once you do - what you can accomplish will only be limited by what you desire to attempt.
Self confidence issues can have many causes.
Problems during childhood can be a major cause. Parents can even exacerbate confidence issues in their children without realizing it, simply because they aren't aware of what life is like for the child, or do not attempt to identify with the child.
Kids are cruel, as are many adults. In an ignorant attempt to overcome what they believe is their own shortcomings, people will point out the shortcomings of others. Physical features are the easiest target. Feel sorry for people who behave this way, it is the appropriate response.
It is important to be realistic about who you are. If it is obvious you are no supermodel, do not try to convince yourself that you are. But physical characteristics have jack shit to do with the majority of what your life is going to be about. Also, remember that self-analysis is very difficult to make without bias. So when someone who lacks self-confidence looks in the mirror - they will probably see theirselves as less attractive than they actually are.
Of course there are other causes for a lack of self confidence. Maybe you are clumsy, or slow. Maybe you are a girl in a sexist environment. Or maybe you are a black guy in an environment that is racist towards blacks. It doesn't really matter. It is easy to overcome, realize your worth, and be much happier about yourself in general.
Now, I really don't care who you are, you deserve to be happy. As human beings we are born into our situations, and where we go from there is up to our environment and our understandings. Life is about so much more than getting love from other people. Do not rely on other people to figure out your worth. The only person who is in charge of your worth is you. If you learn to love who you are, then it is easy to be happy doing anything. And when it's easy to be happy doing anything, the sky is the limit when it comes to what you can accomplish.
So how do you learn to love who you are?
Well, for starters, don't apply too much importance to particular events. Get over things quickly. Stuff will happen in life, move on. People will say mean things to you in life, and it will often have nothing to do with you. So don't give it too much importance. You can learn from things that happen to you, but don't dwell. Life goes on, and it's always just a matter of time before [x] thing that happened in the past is forgotten by all.
Secondly, be honest with yourself and others. Honesty conquers everything, really. There is absolutely no situation I cannot easily handle when being completely honest. And there is nothing to fear when you are honest. It takes some effort and a clear mind to be honest in some situations, but there is nothing like a quick sharp and honest reply to disarm some idiot who is trying to insult you. In fact, not only is it likely to disarm them, but it's likely to make them feel bad about theirself in the process(which is good as long as it makes them think).
Thirdly, spend some time alone thinking about who you are. Spend some time going over events in which you lacked self-confidence, and think about why. Steady determination combined with steady awareness are what is required to change conditioned behaviors. As long as you stay aware and fight against your instincts to be nervous, scared, shy, etc - those behaviors will eventually change over time.
Finally, understand who you are. Understand what it means to be who you are. I will give a random example of someone who has a cleft lip. Surely they will be self-conscious about it, unless they have already gone through the processes I have described. Well, this person should understand how many people are going to react to their appearance, and the limitations their deformity will impose. It is likely that hot girls won't be attracted to them. It's likely they often won't be hired for jobs because of their appearance. And it's likely many people won't want to socialize with them. But you have to realize that none of that amounts to that big of a handicap in life. It shouldn't keep this person from being confident and happy. This person should still be able to accomplish anything they are capable of. And this person does this by understanding that the people who are judgmental towards him are in fact shallow and ignorant.
So in conclusion, don't be shallow and ignorant like the judgmental people who have conditioned you to lack self-confidence. Work to rise above it. Be honest and good, do the things I have talked about, and it will be very easy to be happy and confident in yourself.
*please note that the author used to have major self confidence issues 10-15 years ago, due to what he thought was major unattractiveness and social awkwardness. he now realizes that while he is no supermodel he's not that bad looking (especially now that he's fit), and through sustained work he is no longer socially awkward. In fact he can be quite charming.
i was gonna write soemthing else but i forgot what it is. so now i copy and paste this out of notepad cuz im tired of doing stuff right now
