I'm a graduate student at UConn and I currently reside in a dormitory with around 10 people on my floor. 10 guys, and we all share a bathroom. Now, in order to understand the complexities of the situation of which I am about to describe, it is important to note that none of us are really good friends with each other. We're all grad students and we're basically all pretty busy and already have a close knit group of friends (I would hope). I mean, we're all friendly and say "hey" to each other and such, but I have yet to sit down and have a drink with anyone on my floor or share a meal, and I have definitely not brought up the issue of bathroom protocol with anyone.
Now the odd little situation which I find myself a part of goes something like this... There are 2 toilets in our shared bathroom, just 2, and physically the toilets and stalls are identical. Yet somehow, through mutual psychic consensus, 1 of them has been dubbed the "piss bowl" and the other the "shit bowl". That is, I have never, this entire semester, seen the "piss bowl" with the lid (or rim thingy, or whatever it's called) down, and I have never seen the "shit bowl" with the lid up. Not once. And after realizing the unspoken pact I was a part of during the first few weeks of the semester, I have been diligently checking on both toilets every time I'm in the bathroom, even if I'm just in there to shower or brush my teeth. It has been 8 weeks and I have recorded no abnormalities.
Therefore I find myself astonished not only by the rapidity of the system's adoption, but also the complete and utter consistency of the phenomenon. With all the random people moving in and out of our dorm floor, you would think I would have recorded a deviation in a lid's position... I mean there are friends, colleagues, girl friends, fuck buddies, parents, siblings, just all kinds of people moving in and out of that dorm every day, and yet the position of the lids never change.
Recently I became suspicious that the lids must have been cemented down or something. However, my all too human mind was having trouble fathoming such power, such concentrated group psychology manifest. I knew it was not my place to move those lids... in fact, the whole system reeks eerily of religion. I could not bring myself to sin against such perfect coordination. So I waited, I waited for the one person with enough gall and ignorance to dare manipulate the sacred angles of those lids: the janitor.
So I waited carefully with a shared sense of excitement and foreboding... for about a week's time... and of course, sure enough, a Hispanic women showed up. Too riled up to feel the pangs of awkwardness this stereotype would typically inflict on me, I frantically dug through my drawers for every bathroom product available to me... So soon I stood there in the bathroom, alternatively brushing my teeth, applying facial scrub, and clipping my nails. I must have looked like quite the manic depressive metrosexual, but by this point my eyes were locked onto the position of the toilet she was cleaning while my hands and arms were moving with the determined, automatic drive of a tank's treads.
What did I see? WHAT DID I SEE? Bending over the "piss bowl" she skillfully relaxes the lid into that forbidden angle of pi over 2 radians with the dignity of a medieval nun handling a religious relic... and proceeds to clean the lid. Now what does she do? She does not get up and walk away. Oh no, somehow she knows! I don't know how she knows but she knows! My heart practically bursts out of my chest like a fucking xenomorph as she raises the lid to it's rightful, god given position. The rites have been observed today gentlemen, and those angles will continue to remain fixed, far after I graduate. Oh yes. And 80 years from now, when I return for one for flush, one more pilgrimage to the happy shitting grounds, those lids will still be fucking perpendicular.
Nah not copypasta it's just raining outside and I was bored . Thanks for the enthusiasm though guys, it was actually great fun to write and easy too BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!
They have done this test on monkeys as well. They learned a couple of monkeys that act X is bad. So after a while none of the monkeys ever attempted act X, however tempting it might look. Then the researchers changed one by one the population, until none of the original monkeys was present in the group. But still none of the monkeys attempted act X.
lmao we always have this kind of arrangement if there's more than one toilet. When we had three toilets, it was one piss two shit (middle one was kinda variable though) and when it was five, it was two piss three shit. I heard a guy tell a girl (she wasn't supposed to be in the bathroom, but whatever, it was a weekend) that she shouldn't use those toilets because they were piss toilets and she asked why? He replied that those were piss toilets and she told him that she was here to piss. Then he explained why the other toilets were probably better for pissing in, even though they are supposed to be for shit.
People even put up signs on the stall walls saying "DON'T PISS HERE"
Lol omfg that was great :D the title made me think it was about someone doing something lame in your bathroom so you wanted to discuss the topic for real ahaha 5/5
In my freshman dormitory it was the exact same way. There were two sides to the bathroom, with two toilets, four showers in the middle and then 2 toilets on the other side. On both sides the toilets divvied up to their respective purposes and it was just understood. Man law works the same everywhere I guess.
thats 10x cooler than the 1-3-5 rule. it's actually really annoying. in my new school in japan people don't follow the 1-3-5 rule. theres been a couple of times when i was pissing into a urinal on the side and some guy comes and pisses into a urinal right next to me (even though there are other open ones). i wish my school was as cool as yours.
Read this while I was banned, was tempted to extend my ban sentence to make an account and post that this is the best blog ever. You are awesome, never stop.
In my dormitory we also had unspoken rules regarding the various uses and misuses of the stalls in our shared bathroom. In our case we had three stalls. The left stall was for pissing, the middle was for shitting and the right stall, well, you just didn't go into the right stall unless you wanted to see unspeakable horrors.
EPT
