EPThttp://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=96189
My life changed radically in the last 3 months.
It all started when weed almost got me killed, after getting busted by some ex military grumpy old man, I knew I was on the way to destruction.
The experience in itself was complex and unworthy of description, but let me say it was enough for me to really reavaluate my life.
My dad said we were gonna move cities, and asked if I didnt wanna make a trip to Natal in the northeast of Brazil for vacations in the period before it so I get away from the mess my life was.
I had hit a point of no return and after a dealing with great internal distress, there I was on a plane travelling to Natal before I knew it, we were there for 10 days, it was enought for me to clean up and rethink all my life step by step.
Whatever the reasons, whatever the consequences, I had this amazing chance, to start over again and wasant going to let it slip thro the grip of my fingers this time.
I had many justifications for why I smoked weed.
Now that im in college studying psycology its very clear, I had this super massive black hole inside me, and kept trowing the wrong stuff in it in the hopes it would fix it.
Theres many reasons for why the blackhole was spawned.
My dad ruined my 9 year old vacations while we were travelling far away by telling me he had cheated my mom and had an alternate family, things started going to shit after that.
I was already a bit antisocial and got even more, always trying to find the new big addiction to fill the void within myself.
Now its clear to me that only by doing things which the result will persist over time I can improve on this problem.
Only by working, studying, getting healhy, helping other people, I can fill this void, because those are the kinds of things that will not vanish after the trip is gone, their effect will be felt forever.
Moving far away from the group of friends that kept pulling back to it was the biggest and most important step, aside from actually wanting to stop.
Different from many other drugs like alcohol or tobacco, in weed, distance is a biiig factor, and without my contacts, nor my will to get high, I managed to start enjoying life again in a way I had practly forgotten in the last 3 years.
Im being able to study and be productive overall, I still go to my old town once a week because my therapist lives there, and recently I went to my friends house and I had all the opportunity in the world to smoke weed on the course of 2 days, and the only reason I didnt smoke, was because I didnt want to.
I cant say for sure if im gonna get completely hooked up on it as soon as I try it again one day, but I didnt feel like trying, in fact, I almost knew I wouldnt have much problem over the long term smoking one doobie in a friends house, but I didnt felt it was the correct course of action to take in order to make my self feel better.
Everyone expects me to have some kind of reminiscence crisis, my parents, my psycologist, and I want to prove em all wrong, and here am I after socializing with all those potheads for 2 days straigh without smoking a single joint.
Im proud of my self and my new life, altho kind of lonly I still get lots of fun from my PC and im sure its just a matter of time until I meet new friends (seems unlikely considering how ignorant the people in this small town are)
Well there you go, progress!
Some tips if you want to stop.
1 - Move away from everything that pulls you back to your vice.
2 - If you can move, do it, or travel in a drug free way.
3 - Give your old friends some ICE, getting far away from everything is good, even when I was in town for therapy I didnt tell anyone, so neither of us would get hurt.
4 - I really enjoyed your input last time feel free to post
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