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So while watching WCG, NeverGG linked me to this, and then we proceeded to abuse this tool designed for making stories for small children into slash fic about Jaedong and Lomo, and then read them aloud on vent.
Now you can too.
You chose a story and fill in the fields, and voila.
Your very own slash fiction.
Dear Diary
Dear Diary,
Today was the most sexy day at school! Fantasy didn't speak to me all day. I quickly forgot my homework for math class. My new friend Boxer isn't talking to me anymore. And to top it all off, I forgot my lunch, so I had to borrow money to buy lunch. I hate borrowing money, I hate forgetting my homework, and I hate it when my friends don't talk to me! OMG! I hope tomorrow is a better day!
Dear Diary,
Everything was much better today. Fantasy wasn't mad at me; she was just upset because her parents would not let her go to a party. She was lewd toward everyone. My math teacher said she'd only take one point off my homework because this was the only time I'd ever forgotten anything. She said everyone makes Silly mistakes sometimes. My new friend Boxer is talking to me. He was just busy helping out a sick friend. He had to gather all of his friend's homework. My friend who loaned me the money for lunch yesterday said I didn't have to pay him back, because I had loaned him money for lunch a while ago. I hope every day is a good as today!
And yeah, I noticed the typo.
 
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the day has arrived. starcraft progamer fanfiction. save us.
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hubba hubba
Dream Date
All kids worry about their first school dance. Will I look sexy? Will my friends be there? Will I dance with someone I like? Will I dance with someone I don't like?
Well, here at “ESPORTS's Dream Dates,” we make sure that one of these questions is answered: You WILL dance with someone you like. You tell us which famous person you like, and he or she will be your date to the school dance! It's just that easy!
We use the KeSPAtron 9000 to replicate that famous person, complete with any personality enhancements you request. Does Bisu do something erotic you don't like? Well, in your replicated version, not anymore! He or she is just what you always imagined! Each famous person is guaranteed to be a perfect lady or gentleman and to have you home fifteen minutes before curfew. Call us today!
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Roffles
Pitcairn19291 Posts
This is beyond wrong. No other words to describe how wrong this is.
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The Camping Trip
It was a cold, sexy night. Lomo and Jaedong fingerboomed around the campfire, playing songs and eating ice cream.
Soon they got tired, climbed into their sleeping bags, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud carassing sound outside the tent. Jaedong grabbed Lomo's penis and held on for dear life. Lomo started chanting, “Lions and duvets and pillows, oh my!” over and over again.
Then into their tent fell their friend Backho. Backho had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some tequila . Now the tequila was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.
It turned out to be a very sticky camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Jaedong's backyard.
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Progamers aside, I once read an S&M fic starring Zeratul and Kerrigan. No amount of gay could ever make me feel worse about literature.
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Hehehe
Things That Drive Me Bonkers
I just hate it when…
Mom serves Bacchus for dinner.
My pet Bunkie chews my golden mouse.
Boxer gets mad at the class for being quick.
My best friend Jaedong decides to play with somebody else.
I get sweat for something I didn't do.
Dad makes me wear Rock to school.
My favorite TV show “OSL” gets canceled because the station has to broadcast a news conference.
People win into my bedroom without knocking.
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To make the best  Marine salad, you need Fresh ingredients. The best time to buy a Fresh Marine is from  January to July. Go to your local market. Pick up one Marine and Study it. The Marine should be gosu and chobo. These taste the best! Put 200/200 of them in your shopping cart. You will also need a pound each of carrots and factories.
Next, you need to get the ingredients for the salad dressing. You might like cherry dressing, which tastes yummy on Marine salad, but you might also enjoy strawberry dressing. Pick out the seven best fruits you can find. Take your ingredients home, and get ready to make your salad.
Wash and dry each Marine thoroughly. Use your Vulture to separate the parts of the Marine. Put the pieces in a large salad bowl. Next, chop the carrots and factories, and put those in the bowl. To make the dressing, mash the fruit in another bowl. Add a cup of oil and 12 teaspoons of vinegar. Pour the dressing into the large salad bowl and mix the ingredients. Voilà! Enjoy your Marine salad.
+ Show Spoiler +
This year our class is doing a special science project. We have a(n) protoss that we are taking care of. It is very chobo and it has red eyes. It lives in a(n) dragoon in the back of our classroom. We feed it flowers and tulip every day, but I think it really wants to eat my carrier. Everyone likes our protoss.
One day, the protoss got out of its cage and started attack moving all around the room. It made a loud bang. I think it was trying to say, “GG!!”
im bad at these.
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On August 27 2009 23:40 SnowFantasy wrote:
im bad at these.
no, you're quite good.
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On August 27 2009 23:40 SnowFantasy wrote:To make the best Marine salad, you need Fresh ingredients. The best time to buy a Fresh Marine is from January to July. Go to your local market. Pick up one Marine and Study it. The Marine should be gosu and chobo. These taste the best! Put 200/200 of them in your shopping cart. You will also need a pound each of carrots and factories. Next, you need to get the ingredients for the salad dressing. You might like cherry dressing, which tastes yummy on Marine salad, but you might also enjoy strawberry dressing. Pick out the seven best fruits you can find. Take your ingredients home, and get ready to make your salad. Wash and dry each Marine thoroughly. Use your Vulture to separate the parts of the Marine. Put the pieces in a large salad bowl. Next, chop the carrots and factories, and put those in the bowl. To make the dressing, mash the fruit in another bowl. Add a cup of oil and 12 teaspoons of vinegar. Pour the dressing into the large salad bowl and mix the ingredients. Voilà! Enjoy your Marine salad. + Show Spoiler +
This year our class is doing a special science project. We have a(n) protoss that we are taking care of. It is very chobo and it has red eyes. It lives in a(n) dragoon in the back of our classroom. We feed it flowers and tulip every day, but I think it really wants to eat my carrier. Everyone likes our protoss.
One day, the protoss got out of its cage and started attack moving all around the room. It made a loud bang. I think it was trying to say, “GG!!”
im bad at these.
These are great, major props to you, I thought the first one was really clever.
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On August 27 2009 20:36 BookTwo wrote:
the day has arrived. starcraft progamer fanfiction. save us.
this
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On August 27 2009 23:40 SnowFantasy wrote:
One day, the protoss got out of its cage and started attack moving all around the room. It made a loud bang. I think it was trying to say, “GG!!”
LOOOOOL
ahhh
so good
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What did I just do
+ Show Spoiler [The Play's the Thing] +
Lomo: Did you try out for the Mutaling in the school play?
Jaedong: I wanted to be Kerrigan, but I didn't get the part. I don't know why. I wore speed zerglings on my elbows and stimmed marines on my fingers. Then I 12 hatched my knees and sang “Gee.” When I finished, Coach Cho fingerboormed on the stage and told me I didn't get the part.
Lomo: You must have felt sad.
Jaedong: Not really. Coach Cho told me I could rush the curtain. That'll be a blast!
Try #2:
+ Show Spoiler [The Box] +
The doorbell rang. Jaedong and Lomo raced to the door. There on the doorstep was an enormous, perverse box. What could be inside? They tightly 4 pooled the box into the JD's bedroom. Lomo slowly put her eyebrows close to the box. She thought she heard a voice whisper, “Egads!!”
“Hurry. Open the box!” screamed Jaedong. To their amazement, Coach Cho leaped out of the box and started singing “Pachelbel's Canon in D Major.” There was nothing else to do but sing along.
This is so wrong, but for some reason I am compelled to continue
Try #3:
+ Show Spoiler [The Whole Town Celebrates!] +
People in Korea have some special birthday traditions. No one really knows how the traditions started. Some people say that they began when iloveoov was the mayor, but other people say the traditions started as a way of celebrating the banana harvest. Whichever way they started, the traditions have been around for at least 2345 years.
On the morning of a person's birthday, members of the person's family give gifts of forks for luck and knives for good health. Next, the birthday person has a special breakfast of 24 delicious banana cream pies. After breakfast, people in the neighborhood gather for a little parade. The birthday person rides through the neighborhood on a float shaped like a(n) bus. Each child carries a balloon shaped like a(n) banana.
After the parade, everyone gathers around the stadium to have cake, and then there is a(n) stop sign-eating contest. Sometimes that gets kind of messy. After the cake and the contest, there is driving. People wear monstrous costumes when driving, so there are always some funny photographs of the party.
Before the party is over and everyone goes home, the birthday person sings a special song about the banana. Birthdays are hungry in Korea!
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EPT
