EPT
Warning: read at your own risk, this is long, and it also spoils who won.
SKY ProLeague Final 01/07/07
CJ Entus vs MBCGame HERO
01:30 AM
Okay usually the OGN stream does not work for me, it lags way too much, but suddenly it worked tonight. Freak accident. If it works for the ProLeague Finals, I will go nuts, and also write a running diary of my thoughts and experiences while watching this.
I am not an expert when it comes to BW. I'm actually pretty noobish, but I have watched a ton of replays and have gotten pretty lucky at Liquibet. Please don’t expect HonestTea-like analysis of what is happening in the Starcraft matches. Expect less game analysis and summary and more random stupid stuff. Expect this to be much more enjoyable for you if you actually watched it live. Expect… actually just don’t have expectations at all.
02:00 AM
In my desperation to watch this live and the stupid OGN lag, I suspected that I’d be able to watch it smooth at the nice NYU T-1 connections at the college (I’ve graduated and live in New York, so no college connection). Unfortunately, college does not start for another week, so none of my friends are there and can let me watch on their comps, except for the Resident Assistants who come early for training.
So one of my friends, this decently attractive girl RA, I figure I’d ask to watch it at her place. Now I don’t know if any of you have tried explaining ProGaming to someone who has no knowledge of it, let alone doesn’t even play video games at all, but it can be frustrating. I just decided to ask the question quickly, like ripping off a bandage…
Me: hey
Her: hey, whatsup?
Me: can i come over and watch the finals of a Korean video game competition broadcast
live over the internet? my connection is kind of slow. it starts at 3AM.
Long pause.
Now I’m currently thinking, hmm, what does this look like, its midnight and I’m asking, with little notice, to show up and basically spend the night? It looks 100% booty call and while even if she still is OK with me going, I want to fucking watch ProLeague.
Thinking of the shock that would occur if she lets me go, and then realizes that I actually did show up to just watch a Starcraft video, I decided against it. Before she has a chance to answer:
Me: actually its okay, i’ll just download it tomorrow.
She’s off the hook. It still would’ve been funny though to show up and mid hook up, ask her to hold on because Savior is playing. Because… of course… that’s… what I’d do.
02:30
They’re showing the VODs of the match between Rainbow and Light in the final week of ProLeague and the Ace match between Free and Light, and Light is sufficiently scary. I’m cheering for CJ and if they win I jump to 4th in Liquibet, but if HERO wins, out of the top 25.
02:45
Stream, please don’t lag. Please. Please. Fifteen minutes until start time!!!! Woooo go CJ.
02:50
SUDDEN ATTACK: LADIES LEAGUE commercial comes on, is anyone actually going to watch this? I keep thinking back to the Nuclear Launch Detected girl.
Followed by the hilarious “Nuclear Launch Detected” ugly girl OGN commercial that has absolutely no relevance to Starcraftt other than the nuclear launch sound.
These OGN clips showing past emotional ProLeague performances is a pretty pump-up. I love these sort of sequences and they make highlight clips really well, just as good as ESPN and other major networks.
I especially love the montage of winners speaking after winning (like Nada, Xellos, Anytime, Boxer, etc), its pretty touching even though I have no clue what they’re saying.
03:00
It’s starting! They just showed the lineups and records, unfortunately I don’t read Korean.
They are talking a lot. The middle guy has a white shirt on and the side guys pink, so it produces this weird candy cane striping effect, and the pink shirt on the left kind of looks like TheMarine. You’d think that the genius who came up with the aka “TheMarine” wouldn’t be great as a creative color announcer, but I guess SKY knows better.
03:10
Four girls are swaying and singing in thigh highs, wow some are pretty hot. Ok one of them just started sing/rapping, I can’t speak Korean but I think the lyrics are something along the lines of “We are about to strip.”
03:15
Back to the announcers. They’re clearly talking about how smoking hot jailbait those girls were, as judging from general Asian girl looks, could range from ages 11 to 35. The audience is rocking, great atmosphere, get this started already!
The big SKY logo opens up and the teams are coming out, first flag banner and stadium looks nuts. It must be cold because I notice that July’s nipples are hard. Or because they are wearing jackets
03:25
CJ ENTUS vs MBCgame HERO
Savior vs Shark @ Arkanoid
Much vs Pusan @ Tau Cross
Rage/Oversky vs Saint/Light @ Mang Wul
Iris vs Bisu @ Longinus
Xellos vs July @ Arcadia 2
Mingu/Themaina vs Thezerg/Jaehoon @ Vampire
Ace @ Blitz
Unofficial announcements have Savior first vs Shark on Tau Cross, a waste imo. While Savior has a solid ZvZ hes almost an autowin if versus one of the tosses, so shark really has a change to steal a big one early.
DJetter: Didn't see Shark coming.
DJetter: He must have some good cheese.
DJetter: Or maybe he's done nothing but practice ZvZ on Arkanoid for three weeks.
Jathin: hahaha
Jathin: didn't see shark coming either
DJetter: Savior was the obvious pick for Ark.
DJetter: So I'm sure Shark's been practicing ZvZ like crazy.
Big news is no Light in the 1v1, so apparently SKY showing all the Light matches beforehand was to hype us up for his psycho 2v2.
03:30
HERO uniforms look like weird space age biker jackets, I wouldn’t be surprised at all if they rode out on big motorcycles, except for July and the MBC Coach, who’d have to be carted on a flatbed truck.
Mrmin123: lawl
Mrmin123: july fat
Andy thinks Savior will autowin the ace match, but it won’t get there if Savior loses the starting ZvZ.
03:35
CJ looks slick in their new uniforms, and Savior has his blank, confident, “fuck you” expression that he always has on.
Anyone else agree with me that Shark should wear a big grey cardboard shark fin on his head? He’d come out to the "Jaws" music and just go nuts, starting biting fans and shit.
+ Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/staff/Hot_Bid/Shark.jpg)
A little kid totally just smacked his mother with a clapper thing, kickass.
03:40
First match is on Arkanoid, aka the most confusing neutral building map ever. As DJetter said, Shark seriously must have practiced ZvZ nonstop for a week, while Savior had a ZvT vs Light and a ZvP vs Pusan the last couple days. Ruh-roh.
Mrmin translates that the announcers are talking about Shark’s poster, which has a parody of a popular Korean drama going on right now. So apparently there’s a Korean drama with an Oscar-worthy actor raping the shit out of someone in ZvZ.
Savior’s poster reads “Clean finisher.” Watch out ladies.
03:50
Fifty minutes later it finally starts. Of course JesusZerg sends his ovie the correct way. Shark is harassing in Saviors base and kills some gas drones. Savior has an extra expo.
04:00
While Shark did some nice muta vs scourge micro, Savior snuck in like 3 slow lings and killed a lot of Shark’s drones. Sharks trying to recover but doesn’t look like its going to happen as Saviors superior econ kicks in. Shark GG’s with only 4 mining drones at his main.
Savior looks happy high-fiving his teammates. The puffy green jackets are overjoyed.
Jathin: one of MBC's worst players was used against CJ's best players
Jathin: it was like a sacrificial lamb
Clearly it played out like this before the match:
Interior MBC HERO Back Room
Coach: Okay guys, we know they’re putting out Savior first on Arkanoid, who wants to play him?
HERO players look around nervously, nobody says anything or wants to do it, and Pusan sneaks behind Shark and in his best Shark voice mutters “I want to coach!”
04:10
Korean commercials! An emo gorilla in an Eskimo suit followed by secret agents ripping band-aids off to remove facial hair. Only in Korea.
04:20
They show Much and Pusan in their respective boxes. Is it just me or does Much look old enough to be Pusan’s father? Pusan is rocking the Asian mullet, if he was Caucasian he’d fit right in at the trailer park, with Much coming home drunk after work and punishing him for not cutting his hair for 12 weeks.
Right pink shirt never looks up at the camera, he just sits there with his arms to his sides like he’s riding a retarded bike rather than sitting at a desk. He must be the guy that only yells YAAAAA during the match.
They cut to Pusan who looks like he’s praying to the Macro Gods for victory, but I think its actually a prayer to the SKY Broadcast Gods so that they don’t have another commercial break before the game starts, because then I’d go slit my wrists if I see that Samsung phone commercial again.
04:30
Now we know what Pusan was praying for because he just went Nexus before Gate.
We all wait with baited breath to find out what kind of weird proxy cheese shit Much does.
04:32
He just made a pylon to trap Pusan’s zealot, cute, and funny, Pusan did the same thing at Much’s base. Much decides to proxy Reaver with double shield battery.
Pusan has DTs and Much just started a proxied support bay, and Pusan micros horribly, deciding that shield batteries are more important than the pylon, robo, or observatory, and also makes two citadels (cancels one). Much manages to get an obs out of the robotics just as Pusan kills it.
When the chatroom sees that Much will not be prepared for the DTs:
Jathin: this is gonna be fucking great
Jathin: go right to his nex son
DJetter: Oh my god.
Jathin: right to his fucking nex
DJetter: Go to his fucking nexus.
Jathin: kill his robo son
Manifesto7: wtf is pusan doing
Jathin: kill that ROBO
Manifesto7: o god
Jathin: fucking SHIT pusan.
Manifesto7: he got an obs out
DJetter: ahahahaha
Manifesto7: STUPID
Jathin: I hate you pusan
Manifesto7: die pusan
DJetter: Hilarity ensues as Pusan realizes that he sucks at life.
Despite all this, Pusan’s expo kicks in and he rolls over Much. Mullet and prayer powers clearly overcome bad decision making.
Jathin: if Much didn't fucking proxy reaver/proxy gate/proxy double shield battery
Jathin: he probably would've won
Jathin: but he has to cheese even when he's in the lead
04:45
Time for commercials!
KG, T-Mac, and Arenas think Pusan is a fool for not going straight to the Nexus. It takes five.
The “best game movie” thing is pretty cool though, lots more mmporgs and RPG commercials and no FPS. I didn’t know you could fight T-Rexes in Lineage II.
Another game is about what looks like feudal Japan, I wonder if they have a Tom Cruse Last Samurai character that I can be and suicide myself.
And yet another game had dark, ominous music… that led to a clip of a little girl running in a field with beavers and tiny bears.
Okay the prepubescent girl dress up song is entirely too long.
04:55
Suddenly the pink candy cane announcers are back, with the series knotted 1:1. Backstage, Savior is no doubt telling Much that proxy reaver does not work vs dt, while Bisu helps trim Pusan’s mullet.
05:00
Jathin and DJetterstyle discuss Bisu’s last PvT on Longinus vs Canata:
Jathin: pylon wall to secure 3rd gas, double forge right after
Jathin: late 3rd expo
Jathin: but the T forgot to mine up the back of his push
Jathin: so he flanked and owned him
DJetter: Got to expand aggressively and force the T push.
DJetter: Can't let the fucker go to late game unless you have a huge economic advantage.
“Longinus” sounds like a real word for an unnaturally large vagina doesn’t it? Like “Hey, I couldn’t feel anything because she has such a Longinus” or “He’s such a Longinus, why didn’t he go straight to Much’s Nexus.”
The HERO team is wearing all matching jackets with fur trim, straight from 5th avenue, while the CJ team looks ridiculously serious in their puffy green jackets. I don’t see Much though, maybe he’s backstage practicing how to proxy his entire base instead of just a few buildings.
05:10
After more pink candy cane discussion, everyone is waiting for this 2v2 to get over with so we can move on with the 1v1s.
It’s Oversky/Rage vs Saint/Light, ZP vs ZT on Mang Wul. Hooray.
Why are they using Light in 2v2 instead of 1v1?
Jathin: Light needs to pick up the pace
FakeSteve: Light's no bisu (the usual 2v2 player)
DJetter: Ruh oh.
FakeSteve: saint is like 'COME ON MAN, JESUS'
Jathin: Light's gonna lose it for them
Jathin: god saint is owning
DJetter: Saint just called Light a "nig."
Jathin: hahaha
Jathin: saint is like "what the fuck you idiot"
…
FakeSteve: Light plays too much like 1v1
Jathin: light is a jerkoff
FakeSteve: saint is controlling the pace of this match and light is just putzing around
DJetter: Jesus.
Djetter: Saint has quite a few units.
FakeSteve: Light’s like an accessory
Jathin: saint's like what the fuck
Jathin: this game should've been won 20 mins ago
5:25
CJ loses because their team was too passive when Light was expanding. It’s not looking good for CJ. Their puffy green jackets are sad.
05:45
A CJ_Rage “Whiteness protoss” banner is unfurled in the crowd. Whiteness? That’s his nickname? Maestro… God of War… Spirit Toss… and... Whiteness.
Anyway the Bisu v Iris game is going to start soon. Iris gets made fun of a lot for his acne ridden-face, and they cut to an obviously photoshopped banner of him with clear skin. Bisu has a badass asian Afro fonzie-style haircut with sideburns, looking ready to, as DJetter said, “curb-stomp” Iris.
05:55
Iris is not walling his expo, and Bisu opts for 1 gate range instead of 14 nex that he did against Canata. Both players take expo, Bisu with a pylon walled third base up top. Iris’ timing push is perfect and Bisu loses a big fight in the middle. His pylon walled third expo doesn’t kick in fast enough. Great execution by craterface to even up the series at 2-2.
06:10
Bisu looks really sad that he lost, the other HERO players comfort him while Iris gets congratulatory high fives from the rest of the CJ team. Puffy green jackets of joy.
06:15
I love the way the male voice yells stuff in the OSL commercial. ROY-AL ROADU!! ROYAL ROADU!! And UpMagic is awesome, if you haven’t caught his OSL Game vs Anytime yet go watch it.
06:20
They show July warming up without his McDonalds and KFC endorsements on his motivational poster. Instead, it says “Magical Bright Card” which cannot be what MBC stands for, can it? Magical Bright Card?? You must be kidding.
FakeSteve: magical butt cunt
Thank you for that nugget of wisdom Steve.
They cut to the CJ coach and he looks tired and very serious. What is he so scared about? CJ just needs one more win in the next two games to get it to the Ace and we all know Savior is going to destroy whoever they send out on Blitz.
The MBC Coach looks like an older version of July, arms crossed, with donuts for a FatZerg win and an exercise bike for a loss.
Cut to July praying, he’s going to need it the way he’s been playing lately.
06:30
How do the announcers keep up their energy? They are like constantly excited and talking for 3.5 hours now. Except for pink shirt right, he’s saying nothing and continues to avoid eye contact with the camera.
They are no doubt discussing why everyone in the crowd and on the benches look just as bored as I am. Start the match guys.
06:35
Match finally starts and diagonal positions, if July was Savior he’d have sent his lord diagonal. Xellos fast expands, instead of the more standard delayed SCV rush that Nada did versus Savior. Yes I’m still bitter that Nada robbed us of another good game in Superfight 3.
06:45
Xellos goes fast dual upgrade and July macros, powers up like Majin Buu and just utterly rapes him, complete with two control groups of lurker/ling and one control group of mutas even AFTER the big center fight. It’s like he tanked that recent game vs GoodFriend so CJ would think he’s weak.
06:50
Xellos is watching the replay and disgustedly takes of his earphones after realizing just how badly he got owned.
This was one of those "oh shit I just got raped" self-realization moments, my top three being:
1. GoodFriend immediately after Nal_Ra's recall.
2. Yellow after Boxer's third bunker rush. It's fitting Yellow's realization is second.
3. GoodFriend after losing to Shark's 1 hatch hydra build.
The 2v2 game between second string guys will now basically decide the match.
07:03
ROYAL ROADU!
ROYAL ROADU!!!
ROYAL ROADU!!
STA-LEAGU SEASON 3!!!
7:05
The pink candy canes talk, most likely about how this is a must win for HERO as well as CJ.
The Z player for HERO is called “TheZerg.” Congratulations for making a name that is even more vague and uncreative than “TheMarine.” Soon there’ll be a “TheRace” or “Guy.”
07:10
Camera shows Pusan smiling, no doubt thinking about how he might not get an opportunity to lose to Savior in the Ace match if HERO wins this 2v2.
This just in, both CJ 2v2 players have black hair. Yes I’m on page eight of this diary and this is just filler.
Wow the MBC team looks scary and mad, probably because THEY HAVEN’T STARTED THE MATCH YET. Middle white shirt is making weird throat noises. Start the match guys okay?!
07:20
They cut to the CJ and HERO coaches and both look like they are both staring into space. The coaches even lost the “I will beat you guys if you lose” motivation behind their eyes. Start the match, you know its trouble when Asian authority figures lose their will to beat their subordinates.
07:25
Game FINALLY starts, CJ T/Z vs HERO P/Z.
07:30
HERO Protoss fast expands, again a risky ass 2v2 strategy. The CJ team does not hurt him enough. The HERO team manages to trap the CJ Zerg’s lings in a corner. CJ Zerg refuses to put his overlords around the map, is overrun, and its 2v1 now.
07:45
It’s just a matter of time now, the HERO P is running of 4 bases with arbiter tech and mutas as backup while the remaining CJ player has only 2 bases and no way of attacking. A big recall happens and it’s over.
HERO looks happy and relieved that there was no ace game, their 2v2 play putting them over the top. Amazing that they did not use Light or Sea in the 1v1s and still won 4-2.
Savior, I’d imagine, is pretty pissed, but its okay, you are still in both StarLeagues. Would’ve been nice to see an Ace match, but shit happens.
Hopefully this means July is back to his old self and Much will learn not to proxy every time.
I’m tired and hopefully this was a fun read. Maybe I’ll do it again for next week’s MSL or OSL.
Good night and congratulations HERO!
