EPTI actually posted this story at the back of a story thread about 8 months ago, but I figure nobody really read it, and it is probably the funniest story i have ever heard in my life. So, it will be told once more.
My roommate evan, who you guys probably remember from the first story where he made Jim shit his pants, is from worcester, massachusetts, which is about 45 minutes away from boston. There is this club near there called the Paladium, which all the locals cleverly refer to it as "The Get Ladium". I think you can picture this kind of place.
So back when Evan was in high school, right after his 18th birthday, he decided to give the paladium a try. Figured he would get himself laid. Evan and a couple buddies drive on over to the sketch palace and walk in. Evan fucking feels like he owns the place. Everyone there looks kinda trashy and poor, there are sketchy guys all over the place, and he knows right away that he is going to have himself one hell of a night.
Evan and his buddies walk over to a spot and start giving some chicks the eye. You know what im talking about. First the little head nod, then the smile, then a little wink, they had it all goin on. They finally walk over to the girls and start dancing a little bit. Evan had one chick in particular eyed out, she was pretty short, but really cute, with great tits.
He starts giving her the eye and motions her over and they start dancing. She's starts goin to town on him, theyre grinding, all over each other. After a couple minutes, evan decides to start throwing in some compliments. "wow, you're such a great dancer".
she looks up at him, grabs his collar, pulls him down a bit and whispers in his ear "i want to hook up with you right now". So evan gets all giddy and says "ok, want to go back to my car?". "no", she replied, "follow me".
So she starts walking off and takes evan's hand. He follows her all the way to these little personal bathrooms. That is how dirty the paladium is: apparently you can rent out your own little bathroom to get ass in.
So they go in, close the door and start making out. Then evan starts playing with her tits. For such a little girl man did she have some amazing tits. She grabbed onto his belt buckle and pulled him over towards the sink. She then unzipped his pants and whispered into his ear "I want you to fuck me".
Evan immediately decided that he was coming to the paladium every single weekend. There for 30 minutes and he is about to get laid already, this place sure lives up to it's name.
So evan pulls out the condom from his wallet, throws it on and starts fucking her. Evan put her up on the sink and started just absolutely railing her. It didnt take long before he felt a little bit of a release.....the condom broke.
"FUCK, the condom just broke".
"dont worry about it, im on the pill".
so evan goes back to mindlessly fucking her brains out. He's got her leg up over his shoulder and is just nailing the shit out of this girl. He then rolled her over a bit and started goin at it doggy style. He heard her getting off hardcore, so he decided it was time to blow.
"im gonna come"
"NO, YOU CANT?"
"What, why? Im gonna come"
"NO, DONT COME?"
"why not??"
"CAUSE IM 13!!!"
I cant begin to imagine the utter confusion that went through evan's head. What would you think if you just found out you were fucking a girl that was 10 three years ago? So evan says to her.....
"FUCK THAT, im coming anyway".
Evan busts in the thirteen year old girl, leaves the bathroom, gathers his friends up and gets the fuck out of the paladium. Let's just say he didnt go back.
