EPTIt's time to put aside SC2 and trying to get that Solo Zen Master achievement, (at least for a few weeks) and turn your attention to something just as entertaining, but oh so much more rewarding....
I present to you.....
+ Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://www.eduinreview.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/sat-test.gif)
+ Show Spoiler +
I'll not talk about my other qualifications and just say, regarding the SAT, that I got a 2400 and that I've tutored people for the SAT for over 2 years. I've also used this fact to get laid precisely 0 times.
So you might be wondering....
OMFG WTF THAT'S AWESOME! LAIK HOW DO I GET STARTED!?!?!?!?!?1?
Well, you're in luck, because I present to you the definitive approach to getting the perfect score:
![[image loading]](http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/4287/54867861.png)
1.) Buy the College Board SAT blue book, if you haven't already. It looks like this:
+ Show Spoiler +
It's like porn. In that it has words.
2.) Read the book. Specifically page 101 for writing. Critical reading and Math are more intuitive, so feel free to skim if it gets tedious. Heck, feel free to skip most of the critical reading... if you can understand what I'm saying in this guide, your basic reading skills are probably up to par.
First 2-3 weeks. Familiarity, 40 minutes - 1 hour per day.
3.) Pick a section a day: Math, Writing, Crit. I'd say do it randomly, but at least be systematic about it. Leave yourself some entire tests untouched. if it makes it less painful, you can pretend Math = Protoss, Writing = Terran, and Crit = Zerg, and that you're just practicing for 3 matchups. *wink* Do the section. See how many you get wrong.
4.) After you're done getting roflstomped, go over the answers and make sure you know how to do every problem on the section you just took. This is like watching your replay, and figuring out what you did wrong. Only a thousand times more fun.
5.) Retake the same section again and again until you get a perfect score on that section. This is like when Nony practices against a computer to get a build order right in preparation for perfect execution against a human opponent. Only there is no human opponent... EXCEPT YOU!
Next 2-3 weeks. Accuracy and Speed 30-40 minutes a day.
6.) You should now be able to do any given section and get at most 2-3 questions wrong per section. While still focusing on accuracy, try to finish these sections in as little time as possible. Pretend this is like when you're 50 and 3 in bronze and waiting to get promoted. Make it your new goal to facestomp these noobs in as quick and hilarious a fashion as possible. Have fun with it.
+ Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://www.i-worth.com/gallery/normal/sharp-end-cat-pencil-sharpener[1].jpg)
Ur doin it wrong.
7.) Go over the test again, but instead of trying to look for mistakes, look for places you could have done something better, faster. You've found out how to make the computer gg in 4 minutes. Could you have made that probe start building sooner? Could you have gotten a better split? Can you make it 3:55?
8.) Now do the entire test again in EVEN less time, while still reading the questions and answer choices as you normally would have. Think cmethodfeedback.
Final 2-3 weeks. Endurance 1-2 times per week. ~ 4 hours.
9.) Take a full practice test from the book, noting time as necessary. You've been promoted to diamond, show those 1a2a3a noobs what you've got.
10.) Go over your results and write down your score range for each section *remember we haven't talked about the essay yet, so just assume you got a perfect score on it*
It's like bragging about your rating, only in this case, if you say you're over 800, people know you're full of shit.
24.) Go back and look at your mistakes and make sure you don't make the same mistake again. (Good scouting will prevent you for falling for the same cheese twice.) You should be in the "OMG I'm owning" score range by this point.
Now I bet you're thinking, WHAT ABOUT THE ESSAY!?!?!?!
Well you're in luck...
The essay:
"Just add water" ~2 hours?
This almost doesn't need practice if you know how to write. It just needs a formula.
You can pick a formula of your own, but here's one I like to use:
1.) Identify the prompt: i.e. "Progress comes at a price."
2.) Do a dichotomy... split the topic into two facets/perspectives that are mutually exclusive but collectively exhaustive. That means, more simply, you want the two resulting branches to be sufficiently different so that you're not spending the whole paper repeating yourself, but that you're not leaving any part of the prompt unaddressed.
+ Show Spoiler +
Acceptable dichotomies:
a.) Progress does indeed come at a price. You talk about the price of progress here.
b.) That price in many cases is worth paying.... You talk about how that progress justifies the price in your given examples.
a.) In some cases, progress was worth its price. Give some examples
b.) In other cases, progress was not worth its price. Give some examples.
a.) Progress has direct monetary costs.
b.) Progress has indirect or unexpected costs.
Unacceptable dichotomies:
a.) Progress is never worth the price.
b.) Sometimes progress kills people. (this is not sufficiently different from a, and in fact falls squarely under the umbrella of a)
a.) Progress is pursued by many people.
b.) Progress is pursued by robots. (This is unacceptable because what about animals and progress? It merely gives two examples, and does not work toward creating a generalized statement in response to the prompt).
3.) Write a topic sentence you think sounds clever and is somewhat relevant to the prompt.
4.) What is your position on the prompt? This requires a clear definition of potentially controversial phrases.
5.) How will you go about proving your position? (Explain your dichotomy here.)
paragraph break.
6.) Argue the first point in your dichotomy.
7.) Give an example.
8.) give another example. (one big example works, two smaller ones also works. three is too many; you don't have time to come up with 3 solid examples.)
9.) Transition into second part of dichotomy.
10.) Argue second point.
11-12) Moar examples
14.) Transition to conclusion.
15.) Bring together your two points in the dichotomy to rehash your initial position.
16.) What are the implications of this position? Why does it matter?
24.) Call to action. "We should all pursue progress, but always be mindful of its price."
Here's a half-assed and purely fictitious example essay with some commentary. I recommend you use facts, but hey, facts are overrated.
+ Show Spoiler +
Prompt: Progress comes at a price.
Dichotomy:
a.) Progress has fully expected costs. Ex: microwave oven.
b.) Progress also has many unexpected costs. Ex: Global warming from kittens.
Economists often say that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Never is this notion more true than when dealing with scientific progress. (I'm defining progress here as scientific progress) With the advent of any great technology that seeks to push mankind forward, comes a cost that may threaten to bring mankind back to its knees. Whether the costs are expected, as was the case for weapons of war, or unexpected, as in the case of global warming, progress is never free. i don't care if you think it's a hoax, it's a good example! Examples don't need to be correct to be good.
Many of today's quintessential (throw in a vocab word or two) modern marvels were created by minds who knew full well of their inventions' destructive capability. For example, the microwave oven was first introduced by Soviet spies to the United states as a means to fracture American society by removing the need to socialize in restaurant settings. While today we may enjoy the convenience such a contraption offers, back during the Cold War, the Soviet scientists behind the microwave, in order to wage psychological warfare against its democratic rival, were fine with the cost to be born by America's countless lonely housewives. Even today, the negative effects of this devious invention can be seen in the desperation of housewives in suburban neighborhoods all across the country as detailed by a recent documentary series on ABC. But the greatest costs of progress are those that were completely unforeseen.
The eighteenth century, for instance, could not foresee (this word connects with the word unforeseen in the previous sentence, achieving a sense of cohesion) the effects that the genetic modification of cats might have on the climate many hundred years down the road. In fact, all our feline-modifying forebears had intended to do was to solve the age-old problem of chasing pussy by breeding the feral prarie lions of their age into the lazy and obese housecats we know today. While the advantages of keeping the company of an evil, judgmental pet are obvious, it was entirely unobvious that in addition to furballs, housecats also cough up SoX, a furry compound which, like your grandmother's sweaters, make the atmosphere uncomfortably warm. Eventually, this warmth will be more than uncomfortable, with many reputable scientists claiming that by the year 2012, our faces will melt off. Thus, in an attempt to make pussies more enjoyable, our progress-oriented forebears unknowingly caused the end of the world.
While many proponents of progress are willing to accept costs to the tune of thousands of horny housewives, even the most hard-nosed proponents would be hard-pressed to take the end of the world as an acceptable cost. (Re-merged the dichotomy). But even if we are all doomed to die in a ball of flames, further progress is still something we dare not risk. To die by face-melting is terrible, but to live forever without conscience, which will be the inevitable consequence of any advances in medical technology, would be unimaginable. (Establish stakes.) Thus, given the overwhelming body of evidence that the cost of progress is too great, we must take a stand, today, in valiant defense of sitting down and doing nothing. (call to [in]action).
Things to keep in mind for the essay:
1.) Vary your sentence structure.
2.) Throw in a few vocab words. Nothing TOOO fancy or esoteric (see what I did there?), but just enough to show you don't consider reading graffiti in bathroom stalls heavy reading.
3.) Maintain cohesion by repition of word roots or by using parallelism.
4.) Try to use facts if you can. When out of facts, use plausible lies.
5.) Fill up the whole page. There is almost a 1:1 correlation between essay length and score.
6.) OH YAH YOU HAVE LAIK 25 MINUTES! Just like in beta... you've got to end it before Zerg gets broodlords.
TEST DAY!
By this point in time, you probably think you've mastered everything there is to master regarding the SAT, but be not too hasty, young grasshopper! There is one final secret you have yet to learn. It is a secret so powerful, that, you basically could have skipped the entire guide before this and you probably would've been fine...
It is....
+ Show Spoiler +
Dun dun dun!!!!!!
+ Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://www.mms.com/us/images/product_peanutmms.png)
Peanut M&Ms. The SAT equivalent of being Lee Young Ho...
But seriously. Bring food that is packed full of sugar, protein, and lipids and sneak bites whenever your proctor doesn't mind or won't catch you. Otherwise the next 5 hours are gonna destroy you.
Congratulations, if you can successfully adhere to the program delineated in this guide, you are well on your way to getting a 2400. I'll see you at the finish line.
![[image loading]](http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-07/08/xin_1007020607590422858812.jpg)
If you have any questions about the guide feel free to post here. But to try to make things as easy to read and comprehend as possible, ask for help about any particular problems you can't seem to find a quick and efficient solution for in this thread (not this one, but the linked one).
