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i've lost everything

Forum Index > Closed
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1 2 3 4 5 6 Next All
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
March 24 2010 10:35 GMT
#1
$22,138 gone.
My three closest friends. Gone
My girlfriend. Gone
My life savings, my achievements, most of my belonging. My computer, $11,000 worth of various drugs, a fireproof safe, 4 legal firearms, a knife collection, and two cats. Gone.

All because of the idiocy of one person.
Yesterday at approximately 12:30 PM i was ratted out by someone i considered a close friend. Within 3 hours, the police were at my door. The held me down and confiscated everything i owned of value. They arrested three of my friends straight out, and my girlfriend. They froze my bank account. I bailed myself out with my emergency funds, $10,000. I had no other money. Now i'm looking at 11+ years in prison.

I've never been so angry in my life. I'm writing to keep myself from doing something drastic. I built a computer out of spare parts, to keep myself from doing something stupid. I destroyed a kitchen furniture set with a sledgehammer, to keep myself from doing something i would regret.

I've got maybe another week left of freedom. I have no idea what to do. I told all my family members. I'm visibly shaking right now. I want to, for the first time in my life, kill someone. I want to beat his face in and watch him bleed to death. I've never known hate so powerful in my life and no matter how hard i try i can't help but embrace it.

I don't know if this is a suicide note. I don't know if this is the level of rage, of indignation, of pure desperation, that spree killers, or axe murderers feel. I don't know what i'll do. It seems that my only purpose left in life now is to kill the man who did this to me. I've lost everything, and i feel that the lives of 5 people can easily be avenged my making sure i cut short the life of one.

I don't know if this will be my last post. I didn't think it would ever come to this. I was smart. I avoided trouble where others got caught, and i somehow built a life for myself. Now i will never hold a career. My schooling is worthless. Everything i've ever worked for, and achieved, is GONE!

Maybe if i write another paragraph, i'll be able to figure out a solution. Something i didn't see before other than killing this motherfucker and leaving the state. I know i could do it. The pigs aren't smart. I've still got my HK-SL8 locked up in it's hiding place. It seems to whisper to me. I don't know if i've gone crazy, or if i've finally realized my solution.

After i post this, i will monitor this topic. Teamliquid, i've turned to you in times of trouble before. I consider the people here intelligent and well read. I even consider some of you friends. Talk me out of this. I will go to court, and then to prison, without killing this man if you can talk me out of it. I can't think rationally right now, so maybe you can.
U Gotta Skate.
Terranlisk
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Singapore1404 Posts
March 24 2010 10:40 GMT
#2
Why did he rat you out? o_O
aka myheronoob
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
March 24 2010 10:41 GMT
#3
On March 24 2010 19:40 MyHeroNoob wrote:
Why did he rat you out? o_O

Because he's an idiot. No other reason. He didn't avoid any trouble. He stole 600 grams of China White from me, hid it, and then tipped me off via the police.
U Gotta Skate.
mdb
Profile Blog Joined February 2003
Bulgaria4059 Posts
March 24 2010 10:42 GMT
#4
Thug life
Ghardo
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Germany1685 Posts
March 24 2010 10:42 GMT
#5
i don't exactly know what happened, but why fuck yourself over even more because of this mofo, only for the momentary satisfaction of your hatred?
avilo
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States4100 Posts
March 24 2010 10:42 GMT
#6
If this is true...do not do anything rash. You are looking at what? 11 years? It is a lot, but if it comes to this, there is high chance you could get out early, as well as other things that can go your way.

If you kill a man, you will be in there forever, or worse. what exactly did he rat you out on? drugs?
Sup
Dooba
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Croatia588 Posts
March 24 2010 10:43 GMT
#7
I cannot really tell you anything worth 2 pennies right now to help you out. Only thing i can rationally think of is that you do NOT want to TAKE someones life. I am 100% sure you would regret it for the rest of your life.

I hope you don't make the wrong decisions
"Zergs are really stronger. I use to win 60-70%, now it is 40-50. I am switching to civilization 5 for now until any terran can come up with a better tactics."
ShroomyD
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Australia245 Posts
March 24 2010 10:45 GMT
#8
F-F-FUCK THE POLICE
when lawful anarchy comes to America you shall be free~~
아나코자본주의
CaucasianAsian
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
Korea (South)11586 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-24 10:52:08
March 24 2010 10:49 GMT
#9
I guess you have four options

A) Run to Panama (if you don't have the money to fly there [it's really cheap] then literally start walking / hitch hiking)

B) Kill this guy and go to jail for the rest of your life and potentially get the death penalty for first degree murder (depending on your state will you get a death penalty) because he ratted you out when you were dealing drugs.

C) Plea for a bargain (i.e. less jail time if you hook them up with your supplier)

D) Go to jail like any normal guy and do the time, maybe write a book or something with all of your free time sitting around. Maybe join a gang while your in there like in the movie 'Felon'
Calendar@ Fish Server: `iOps]..Stark
Chrispy
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Canada5878 Posts
March 24 2010 10:51 GMT
#10
I'm reading all of your previous blogs at the moment and they are really fascinating when this post is taken into consideration.

I don't know you at all, but my advice to anyone in a situation like this would be to get to your parents place as soon as you can. Family is the only thing that matters.
Retvrn to Forvms
Katkishka
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States657 Posts
March 24 2010 10:53 GMT
#11
If this is true, think of it this way;
the guy who ratted you out, considering he was your friend, will probably regret this for the rest of his life. I think that level of regret is far worse than 11 (max) years in prison. Unless he didn't care about you in at all. If that's the case let's just hope karma is real, huhu
Hot_Bid
Profile Blog Joined October 2003
Braavos36387 Posts
March 24 2010 10:53 GMT
#12
can you explain the story and your situation more fully?
@Hot_Bid on Twitter - ESPORTS life since 2010 - http://i.imgur.com/U2psw.png
Ghardo
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Germany1685 Posts
March 24 2010 10:56 GMT
#13
On March 24 2010 19:53 Sunny Afternoon wrote:
If this is true, think of it this way;
the guy who ratted you out, considering he was your friend, will probably regret this for the rest of his life. I think that level of regret is far worse than 11 (max) years in prison. Unless he didn't care about you in at all. If that's the case let's just hope karma is real, huhu


hahahah

social romantics, i luv them
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
March 24 2010 10:57 GMT
#14
On March 24 2010 19:53 Hot_Bid wrote:
can you explain the story and your situation more fully?

Basically, it was this guys job to take this big shipment of China White from BC over the border for me. He tried to rip me off and i caught on right away, went to his place but he wasnt there.
I found out where he was from his brother and me and a couple of my friends went to ask him what was up, why he'd been gone for a week.
He said he was locked up in BC which is bullshit because you don't get locked up for a week with 600 grams of pure on you.
We pushed him around a little and when he wouldn't tell us where the shit was i got my dealer on the line and he told the little faggot he would kill him if he didn't tell us. The guy wouldn't say so we left and went back to my house. 3 hours later i'm face down with handcuffs on. The worst part is i've always been at least civil with the guy, i've lent him money before when his car broke down etc.
Anyway apparently he was shooting himself up on my dollar and then he got jacked in Seattle for a good chunk of the shit so he hid it while trying to come up with an excuse rather than coming out to me straight up.
Worst part is that he's not going to get in any trouble at all for this.
U Gotta Skate.
Kiante
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia7069 Posts
March 24 2010 10:58 GMT
#15
Gosh i'm glad i live in australia. Just to point out, maybe if you weren't doing illegal shit, your life wouldn't be fucked up.
Writer
endGame
Profile Joined June 2009
United States394 Posts
March 24 2010 11:00 GMT
#16
On March 24 2010 19:58 Kiante wrote:
Gosh i'm glad i live in australia. Just to point out, maybe if you weren't doing illegal shit, your life wouldn't be fucked up.


I agree.
Though not really what he needs right now.
"...As the world goes, is only in question between equals in power, while the strong do what they will and the weak suffer what they must." -Thucydides
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
March 24 2010 11:02 GMT
#17
On March 24 2010 19:58 Kiante wrote:
Gosh i'm glad i live in australia. Just to point out, maybe if you weren't doing illegal shit, your life wouldn't be fucked up.

You think i don't realize that what i do is dangerous?
I'm starting to finally come to the conclusion that killing him would only make things worse. I'm seriously considering getting out of dodge and going to stay with my dad for a while... i can scrape up enough cash to fly out to Croatia on short notice.
U Gotta Skate.
WickedDreams
Profile Joined October 2002
Portugal873 Posts
March 24 2010 11:02 GMT
#18
Have you consider, running away to Panama & Mexico & Brasil

Thats what i would do, 11y in Prison is too much.
Getting away with all messed up !
Jibba
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States22883 Posts
March 24 2010 11:03 GMT
#19
On March 24 2010 20:02 ghermination wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 24 2010 19:58 Kiante wrote:
Gosh i'm glad i live in australia. Just to point out, maybe if you weren't doing illegal shit, your life wouldn't be fucked up.

You think i don't realize that what i do is dangerous?
I'm starting to finally come to the conclusion that killing him would only make things worse. I'm seriously considering getting out of dodge and going to stay with my dad for a while... i can scrape up enough cash to fly out to Croatia on short notice.

Who arrested you? Police? DEA? You may not be flying anywhere.
ModeratorNow I'm distant, dark in this anthrobeat
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
March 24 2010 11:05 GMT
#20
On March 24 2010 20:03 Jibba wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 24 2010 20:02 ghermination wrote:
On March 24 2010 19:58 Kiante wrote:
Gosh i'm glad i live in australia. Just to point out, maybe if you weren't doing illegal shit, your life wouldn't be fucked up.

You think i don't realize that what i do is dangerous?
I'm starting to finally come to the conclusion that killing him would only make things worse. I'm seriously considering getting out of dodge and going to stay with my dad for a while... i can scrape up enough cash to fly out to Croatia on short notice.

Who arrested you? Police? DEA? You may not be flying anywhere.

Local police. I think i can find a way to get out of the country, and it doesn't exactly involve a commercial plane ticket. DEA is probably something i'll have to deal with later, those government agencies aren't very quick.
U Gotta Skate.
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