Bro Times With Olli: MSI Beat IT

DarkLordOlli sat down with Harstem at the MSI Beat IT Grand Finals. This was originally intended to be an interview with him alone, but it turned out he was unable to answer some of the hard hitting questions that the TL writing staff had in store for him. Eventually, Iaguz and Khaldor joined the interview to help Harstem answer them. We talked about some serious stuff, but mostly nonsense. Lots and lots of nonsense.



OLLI: I was surprised to see you as a caster for this event, rather than a player. Does that mean you've begun to lose your passion?

      HARSTEM: (laughs) Actually the reason I wanted to come was that I wanted to try to get to analyze and steal replays of top players, because it helps me realize my own mistakes and see little tricks that they put in. Casting in general helps me analyze games a bit better, so I profit a lot from doing it. So to answer the question: no, I'm not losing my passion at all.

I see, that's pretty smart of you. So does that mean you're planning to do more casting in the future, since it helps you?

      HARSTEM: No, not really. Maybe if something comes along and I'm free, but I'm full of passion and would rather play any event that comes along.

You really don't want people to think you're losing your passion, hm?

      HARSTEM: I really don't (laughs).

Is this your first time in Taiwan?

      HARSTEM: No, it's my second time. I was here for TeSL, and to practice in the Wayi Spider house.

Oh, how did that go for you?

      HARSTEM: I got third, beat Has 4-1.

Did he protoss bs you?

      HARSTEM: He proxied me three times.

And nobody was surprised.

      HARSTEM: Yeah, me neither. Which is why I won.

So we've got a complete map pool for next season now, since the "Dreampool" has been finalized. What do you think about it?

      HARSTEM: I thought it was cool at first, good for casuals to freshen things up for them. But then I realized that practicing will be useless for pro players. I'll be going to the ROOT house at the end of November, where I could practice on the KR server, but I realized that it'll be completely useless because of these new maps.

I'm sure you've read up on the changes to WCS in 2015. Give me your overall opinion on them!

      HARSTEM: I think it's very good for Koreans who already live in Korea, but it's really bad for the European Koreans, because they cant stay. I think it hurts foreigners the most, but not financially – in skill, which is the most important aspect I think. Because right now we can play against them on the ladder and they HAVE to reveal their strategies and builds. But now that will be gone. We'll actually have to try and play more on the Korean server again.

I also dont like that last year, Blizzard encouraged a lot of Koreans to move to other regions (with how they structured WCS) and now they're kinda being screwed over. It actually did good things for everybody. It gave Koreans the chance to show their personality a lot better than GSL or Proleague ever did and it increased the skill level overall.

Have you heard about the new Korean tournament run by SPOTV? Any thoughts on that?

      HARSTEM: I don't have too many thoughts on it. My predictions are as follows: not a lot of people will watch BOTH tournaments. Even though everybody complains that they want to watch the highest level of play, the big Korean tournaments don't actually attract a lot more viewers than international ones. I think it's good for WCS points though. Players who compete in Korea should have a chance to earn more points, simply because they're better. Skill should be rewarded I think.

Ok, we're done with the easy questions now. The TL writing staff gave me some questions to ask people, and I'm gonna throw them at you now. First off, this one's from stuchiu. Imagine the president of the Netherlands had a daughter, who was abducted. You're the only one he trusts, so he tells you to go and rescue her. You can put together a team, but you can only pick three pro-gamers to go with you. Who do you pick and why?

      HARSTEM: Oh god. The first one is really easy. JonnyREcco – he seems like a tough guy. He would be the bad guy during interrogations. He would also go undercover and blend in with the tough people. And of course he's the best Scottish zerg. That wouldn't be a useful skill when trying to rescue someone, but it has to be said. As for the second player... hmm...



You're really taking this seriously, aren't you?

      HARSTEM: I can only pick three players, man. Who did Solar pick?

Are you really not creative enough to think of any yourself?

      HARSTEM: Just tell me.

Solar picked Shine (big and strong), PartinG (because he talks fast and confuses people), and Stork (because of his scary authority).

      HARSTEM: Hm, that's not too useful. I already have the muscle of Shine and the authority of Stork, so I don't really need that. But I might take PartinG too, as a distraction. You could dress him up as anything. A woman, a clown, whatever. He'd take on the roll and put all his heart into the performance. He'd then sacrifice himself for the greater good. He'll also keep the morale high.

Fair enough. So who's the last one?



What the hell?

      HARSTEM: Wow, RIP.



Well, that happened. What's up with that, are you dying?

      HARSTEM: Nah, it happens sometimes. It's a side effect of this medicine I'm taking.

Iaguz joins to give advice on the above question.

      IAGUZ: Why JonnyRecco?

      HARSTEM: He's the best Scottish zerg. Doesn't that count for anything these days?

They can never take his freedom.

      IAGUZ: It's tough to beat JonnyRecco. Maybe clone him?

You're cheating.

      HARSTEM: OH! I'd take Wolf with me. We might need two sacrificial lambs. And if I need advice on my hair, or if Parting needs help dressing up – there you go.

I was hoping for something more elaborate.

      HARSTEM: This is the best you're getting.

      IAGUZ: I'd just take three JonnyReccos.

      HARSTEM: I think JonnyRecco was a very solid pick. I also think we've beaten this question to death. Any more?

Who do you think will win Blizzcon? Sorry for asking an actual question.

      IAGUZ: Probably INnoVation.

      HARSTEM: herO. Bomber or herO.

Harstem, you told me earlier that you're an incredibly lazy person. I was wondering what kind of lazy you were talking about. Enlighten me?

      HARSTEM: Well, I slept on the floor for like... a solid nine months? I was too lazy to buy a bed. It actually takes real dedication not to buy a bed. There were times when I really wanted to. But I thought it was gonna take a lot of time and effort and I really didn't want that. But it ended up taking like an hour so that was really stupid of me. I even had it delivered to my house.

Well. Good job?

      HARSTEM: Thanks man.

Oh, since the Dota 2 Finals are happening right now, do any of you play Dota?

      IAGUZ: I do, on sick days. But not that much really.

      HARSTEM: I don't play any other games.

Iaguz, I've got a few questions for you too. This one's also from lichter. What hair products do you use on your mighty beard?

      (laughs) zerg tears of course.

This one's also from lichter: What's the strangest thing you've discovered in it after a drunk night out?

      (laughing a lot) ... difficult to answer since nothing ever gets stuck. If it ever did happen, it would probably be something like an old headset.

This is lichter's last question, thank god. Is it true that Australians are highlanders and only one can be good at any given time?

      Yeah, that sounds about right. It used to be mOOnGLaDe but now he's a caster and he sucks. So its only between me and PiG now... I might have to kill him when I get back to Australia.

This one's from CosmicSpiral for everybody, but I can't say it's much better. Which one would you rather fight, a crocodile in a bumper car, or an 8-foot baby throwing a temper tantrum?

      IAGUZ: Oh that's easy. The crocodile, cause it's only got one move – it'll try to bite you.

      HARSTEM: What the hell? Are you insane? The baby! Cause he'd be weak, he's a baby. He might shit himself.

      IAGUZ: He probably already has, since he's throwing a tantrum... I think I changed my mind. The crocodile could also hit you with the bumper car.

      HARSTEM: What weapons do we get?

Weapons? You're not getting weapons. You can use anything you have on you right now, that's all.

      HARSTEM: Damn it.

      KHALDOR, joining the conversation: You guys are crazy. A crocodile that fits in a bumper car is gonna be very small. I could take that any day.

      IAGUZ: But if it can operate a bumper car it'd be really smart. I'd take the baby. The baby isn't very intelligent and can't really control himself yet.

      KHALDOR: But that's the dangerous thing about the baby! And nobody said that the crocodile was operating the bumper car.

      IAGUZ: But then who is?

      HARSTEM: You mean there would be somebody else driving the bumper car while the crocodile tries to bite you? That's even worse.

OLLI: In that case, what if the crocodile jumps out and the driver keeps driving the bumper car? Then you'd have to dodge the car while fighting the crocodile. You're really making this worse for yourself than it has to be.

      KHALDOR: But nobody ever said that the bumper car was moving. Just that there was a crocodile in it.

      HARSTEM: Oh that's true, nobody said anything about the bumper car moving. So it'd be a stuck crocodile, and if it climbs out you take the bumper car and hit the crocodile with it.

      IAGUZ: I'm still going with the baby.

Well, it'd be moving obviously.

      HARSTEM: No, nobody said anything about that. You asked an incomplete question and now we're f***ing you on technicalities.

      KHALDOR: So the conclusion is to fight the crocodile, because it won't be moving and it would be very small.

      HARSTEM: We've had enough of this question.

      IAGUZ: unless...

      KHALDOR: THERE IS NO UNLESS!

      HARSTEM: That was a solid question. Give us some more.

I'm running out of questions here.

      HARSTEM: You're not very good at this, are you? Come on, we need to kill some more time. These Dota games take forever.

Hm, what was your all-time favorite SC2 Reddit post?

      HARSTEM: OH, the extractor trick pickup line!

How'd that go?

      HARSTEM: "Hey girl, are you an extractor trick? Cause you're 11/10!"

      KHALDOR: Wow, that's awful.

      IAGUZ: Mine is „Shots fired in the MLG Anaheim Open Bracket“, where Incontrol and I were making fun of each other. Mainly because it made the frontpage and people thought we were serious for a while, even though it was really just fun.



Can you give us any dating advice, Harstem? Not all of us are as naturally talented as you are.

      KHALDOR: Him? He's so bad at it!

      HARSTEM: Ok, listen up kids. Advice number 1: make sure to be a catfish.

The hell's a catfish?

      HARSTEM: If you're a catfish, you're really good looking in pictures, but look like complete ass in real life. Like Fenner (laughs). It's important because the first impression is the one that counts the most.

HARSTEM: Number 2: Once you trick the girl into thinking you're cute, you get her to be emotionally invested in you. The success rate of this so far hasn't been too high, but I'm pretty sure it works.

But how do you do that? You'd actually have to be like, nice.

      HARSTEM: I'm no too sure yet, because I haven't had success with it yet. This is just theoretical.

So you're doing something wrong then.

      HARSTEM: No.

Let's leave it at that and move on to more fascinating questions.

      HARSTEM: My dating life is fascinating.

If you could mutate into any SC2 unit whenever you wanted, which would you be?

      IAGUZ: Hmm, probably ghosts? Maybe mutas because you could fly really fast.

      HARSTEM: I know JonnyRecco isn't a unit but I would pick him. That's the end of this question.

      IAGUZ: Every question is answered with JonnyRecco.

      HARSTEM: He is the answer to life. Alternatively, I would be an immortal naturally because I have two big guns. (he flexes his "tiny“ biceps - Khaldor facepalms)

As an interviewee, what's a good question to be asked, and then answer that.

      HARSTEM: Wow, that's so meta. I'll start: what's lacking in StarCraft II?

Oh god, you're gonna go there?

      HARSTEM: Yeah, but not what you're thinking. My answer is: spectators should sing more chants. You know like, if a terran wins, they should sing something like what the english fans sing in football. Like this: Your race is a joke, your race is a JOOOOOOOOOKEEEEEE, f***ing terrans, your race is a joke! (to this melody.)

      KHALDOR: Or, another example: TLO-VERRATED, SHALALALA!

      HARSTEM: That'd be so cool.

There were other chants, but I was asked not to put them in.

      IAGUZ: For example when Messioso does vetoes, they should start insulting him and his family, right? That's what they do with referees in football.

      HARSTEM: Maybe we'll finally go mainstream with that.

Did anybody do anything interesting in Taiwan, except MSI?

      Collective: No.

      HARSTEM: Leave that out. You can't ask pro-gamers if they did anything interesting. It adds literally nothing to this interview and you should feel bad.

Noted.

      HARSTEM: I think we're gonna end the interview now, thanks for interviewing me, Iaguz and Khaldor. You can follow Iaguz at @ROOTIaguz, Khaldor at @Khaldor. Also check out Khaldor's youtube channel. And you can follow me at @FnaticHarstem. I would like to thank Olli for the interview and wish him the best in the future. May he continue to put out quality content like this.