|
On January 07 2011 15:21 Day[9] wrote:![[image loading]](http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs891.snc4/72456_607516899234_13302914_35251478_5841119_n.jpg)
I can't believe this wasn't posted earlier.
Lol.
|
On January 07 2011 04:28 BouBou.865 wrote:
Muppets don't call themselves muppets. Besides, if he gets up to get water you can see his two legs, and sometimes a third.
Myth: Busted
Sure, he gets water sometimes, but have we ever seen him eat!?!?! methinks not.
NEWSFLASH: Day[9] lives off of water, honey, tea and dreams
|
On January 07 2011 05:57 allyourbase wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2011 05:13 Therick wrote:On January 07 2011 04:30 -Strider- wrote:On January 07 2011 04:25 Skamtet wrote:
I expected the flight story. What's that? this is the flight story, by day9 + Show Spoiler +¨WTF i get caught jacking off all the time
i'm not unlucky, its just standard probability. i beat off alot. seriously, i beat off like if i keep doing it,
i'm gonna win something. its only natural people will stumble in eventually
FOR EXAMPLE
so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter
break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so
long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5
times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny
ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit
a high enough altitude when i finally hear: *ding* "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising
altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the
time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i
gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk
to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD
it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2
square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly
ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated.
turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane
floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking
off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd
be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just
BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going
through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm
distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered
panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor.
still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press
it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes *ding ding ding ding*, making my
situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in
desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the
floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a
little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to
open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain,
looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an
all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i
look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
???? why did i say that???? what a stupid thing to say... well... i guess it's hard in that situation to "play
it off cool." i can't be like "hey i know smoking isn't allowed on the plane, so do you have a stick of gum??"
so she shuts the door, and i clean myself up and spend another 3 minutes trying to clean up the mass of cum on
the floor. even though i did a pretty good job, its damn hard to get that shine out of the laminate flooring.
i'm finally done, so i open up the bathroom door to see a line of 10 or so people that's been building up since
i went into the bathroom like 20 minutes ago (again, it took my a while since its difficult to cum when you
think you're about to die). I get to look across the line of all of em, and say the only sensible thing i can
think of:
"for those of you going to use the bathroom, i'd make sure you're wearing shoes."
Oh my god, thank you for posting this. I had never heard this story before. He should tell more stories like this on the daily. edit: I just found this gem in the same thread + Show Spoiler +<`DeadVessel> i wish i had a twin sister
<MYM|DayNine> are you kidding
<MYM|DayNine> nick doens't even fucking
<MYM|DayNine> go in a different room
<`DeadVessel> no because they know what im doing
<`DeadVessel> LOL
<mnm> ><
<MYM|DayNine> he just starts jacking off
<MYM|DayNine> if he feels lik eit
<MYM|DayNine> like i remember over the summer
<`DeadVessel> i gotta meet tasteless
<mnm> brotherly love
<MYM|DayNine> we set our computers up
<MYM|DayNine> like 10 feet from eachother
<MYM|DayNine> so i'm playing a game
<MYM|DayNine> and i finish
<MYM|DayNine> take off my headphones
<MYM|DayNine> turn around
<MYM|DayNine> and nick is like totally naked
<MYM|DayNine> jacking off at his computer
<MYM|DayNine> and honestly
<rushz0rz> this is going in the quote thread
<MYM|DayNine> if i interrupt him, he won't even be mad
<mnm> lol
<MYM|DayNine> i'll be like "uhh nick..."
<`DeadVessel> sean can i put that in the irc thread?
<MYM|DayNine> he'll turn around, dick in hand and genuinely ask "hey sean, how'd ur game go?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sean plott is my hero
Quoting this to keep both of these amazing stories together so they don't get drowned out by the inevitable massive growth of this thread.
I was in tears with laughter. Truly epic.
|
Lalalaland34501 Posts
I'm looking for the wicker basket post now
EDIT2 removed
|
On January 07 2011 05:57 allyourbase wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2011 05:13 Therick wrote:On January 07 2011 04:30 -Strider- wrote:On January 07 2011 04:25 Skamtet wrote:
I expected the flight story. What's that? this is the flight story, by day9 + Show Spoiler +¨WTF i get caught jacking off all the time
i'm not unlucky, its just standard probability. i beat off alot. seriously, i beat off like if i keep doing it,
i'm gonna win something. its only natural people will stumble in eventually
FOR EXAMPLE
so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter
break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so
long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5
times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny
ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit
a high enough altitude when i finally hear: *ding* "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising
altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the
time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i
gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk
to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD
it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2
square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly
ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated.
turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane
floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking
off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd
be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just
BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going
through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm
distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered
panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor.
still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press
it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes *ding ding ding ding*, making my
situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in
desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the
floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a
little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to
open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain,
looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an
all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i
look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
???? why did i say that???? what a stupid thing to say... well... i guess it's hard in that situation to "play
it off cool." i can't be like "hey i know smoking isn't allowed on the plane, so do you have a stick of gum??"
so she shuts the door, and i clean myself up and spend another 3 minutes trying to clean up the mass of cum on
the floor. even though i did a pretty good job, its damn hard to get that shine out of the laminate flooring.
i'm finally done, so i open up the bathroom door to see a line of 10 or so people that's been building up since
i went into the bathroom like 20 minutes ago (again, it took my a while since its difficult to cum when you
think you're about to die). I get to look across the line of all of em, and say the only sensible thing i can
think of:
"for those of you going to use the bathroom, i'd make sure you're wearing shoes."
Oh my god, thank you for posting this. I had never heard this story before. He should tell more stories like this on the daily. edit: I just found this gem in the same thread + Show Spoiler +<`DeadVessel> i wish i had a twin sister
<MYM|DayNine> are you kidding
<MYM|DayNine> nick doens't even fucking
<MYM|DayNine> go in a different room
<`DeadVessel> no because they know what im doing
<`DeadVessel> LOL
<mnm> ><
<MYM|DayNine> he just starts jacking off
<MYM|DayNine> if he feels lik eit
<MYM|DayNine> like i remember over the summer
<`DeadVessel> i gotta meet tasteless
<mnm> brotherly love
<MYM|DayNine> we set our computers up
<MYM|DayNine> like 10 feet from eachother
<MYM|DayNine> so i'm playing a game
<MYM|DayNine> and i finish
<MYM|DayNine> take off my headphones
<MYM|DayNine> turn around
<MYM|DayNine> and nick is like totally naked
<MYM|DayNine> jacking off at his computer
<MYM|DayNine> and honestly
<rushz0rz> this is going in the quote thread
<MYM|DayNine> if i interrupt him, he won't even be mad
<mnm> lol
<MYM|DayNine> i'll be like "uhh nick..."
<`DeadVessel> sean can i put that in the irc thread?
<MYM|DayNine> he'll turn around, dick in hand and genuinely ask "hey sean, how'd ur game go?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sean plott is my hero
I... wat.
...wat
|
On January 08 2011 06:18 Firebolt145 wrote:
I'm looking for the wicker basket post now
i mentioned it earlier - noone seems to know about it
|
Lalalaland34501 Posts
well there you go rofl i managed to find it
|
On January 07 2011 05:57 allyourbase wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2011 05:13 Therick wrote:On January 07 2011 04:30 -Strider- wrote:On January 07 2011 04:25 Skamtet wrote:
I expected the flight story. What's that? this is the flight story, by day9 + Show Spoiler +¨WTF i get caught jacking off all the time
i'm not unlucky, its just standard probability. i beat off alot. seriously, i beat off like if i keep doing it,
i'm gonna win something. its only natural people will stumble in eventually
FOR EXAMPLE
so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter
break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so
long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5
times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny
ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit
a high enough altitude when i finally hear: *ding* "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising
altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the
time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i
gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk
to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD
it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2
square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly
ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated.
turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane
floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking
off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd
be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just
BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going
through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm
distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered
panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor.
still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press
it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes *ding ding ding ding*, making my
situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in
desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the
floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a
little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to
open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain,
looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an
all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i
look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
???? why did i say that???? what a stupid thing to say... well... i guess it's hard in that situation to "play
it off cool." i can't be like "hey i know smoking isn't allowed on the plane, so do you have a stick of gum??"
so she shuts the door, and i clean myself up and spend another 3 minutes trying to clean up the mass of cum on
the floor. even though i did a pretty good job, its damn hard to get that shine out of the laminate flooring.
i'm finally done, so i open up the bathroom door to see a line of 10 or so people that's been building up since
i went into the bathroom like 20 minutes ago (again, it took my a while since its difficult to cum when you
think you're about to die). I get to look across the line of all of em, and say the only sensible thing i can
think of:
"for those of you going to use the bathroom, i'd make sure you're wearing shoes."
Oh my god, thank you for posting this. I had never heard this story before. He should tell more stories like this on the daily. edit: I just found this gem in the same thread + Show Spoiler +<`DeadVessel> i wish i had a twin sister
<MYM|DayNine> are you kidding
<MYM|DayNine> nick doens't even fucking
<MYM|DayNine> go in a different room
<`DeadVessel> no because they know what im doing
<`DeadVessel> LOL
<mnm> ><
<MYM|DayNine> he just starts jacking off
<MYM|DayNine> if he feels lik eit
<MYM|DayNine> like i remember over the summer
<`DeadVessel> i gotta meet tasteless
<mnm> brotherly love
<MYM|DayNine> we set our computers up
<MYM|DayNine> like 10 feet from eachother
<MYM|DayNine> so i'm playing a game
<MYM|DayNine> and i finish
<MYM|DayNine> take off my headphones
<MYM|DayNine> turn around
<MYM|DayNine> and nick is like totally naked
<MYM|DayNine> jacking off at his computer
<MYM|DayNine> and honestly
<rushz0rz> this is going in the quote thread
<MYM|DayNine> if i interrupt him, he won't even be mad
<mnm> lol
<MYM|DayNine> i'll be like "uhh nick..."
<`DeadVessel> sean can i put that in the irc thread?
<MYM|DayNine> he'll turn around, dick in hand and genuinely ask "hey sean, how'd ur game go?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sean plott is my hero
Original thread? I can't imagine him telling stories like that nowadays (if thats not a fake).
|
Part of me thinks these Day[9] stories are hilarious, but mostly I just think reposting them is kinda mean.
Don't get mah thread closed, guys.
I have had joke threads closed before because people can't just enjoy the lols.
|
I was honestly expecting some sort of leaked sex tape of Day[9] and Kerrigan or someone from this thread.
Or someone who'd just found the "it is what it is" story.
Love the OP, though :D
EDIT: Holy shit, just read the wicker basket story. Hadn't seen that one before, now I can't stop laughing.
|
Lalalaland34501 Posts
On January 08 2011 06:30 Ketara wrote:
Part of me thinks these Day[9] stories are hilarious, but mostly I just think reposting them is kinda mean.
Don't get mah thread closed, guys.
I have had joke threads closed before because people can't just enjoy the lols.
Yeah I guess the wicker one is over the top hahaha, removed it
good job with the OP hahaha
|
On January 08 2011 06:29 CruelZeratul wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2011 05:57 allyourbase wrote:On January 07 2011 05:13 Therick wrote:On January 07 2011 04:30 -Strider- wrote:On January 07 2011 04:25 Skamtet wrote:
I expected the flight story. What's that? this is the flight story, by day9 + Show Spoiler +¨WTF i get caught jacking off all the time
i'm not unlucky, its just standard probability. i beat off alot. seriously, i beat off like if i keep doing it,
i'm gonna win something. its only natural people will stumble in eventually
FOR EXAMPLE
so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter
break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so
long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5
times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny
ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit
a high enough altitude when i finally hear: *ding* "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising
altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the
time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i
gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk
to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD
it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2
square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly
ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated.
turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane
floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking
off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd
be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just
BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going
through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm
distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered
panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor.
still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press
it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes *ding ding ding ding*, making my
situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in
desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the
floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a
little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to
open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain,
looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an
all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i
look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
???? why did i say that???? what a stupid thing to say... well... i guess it's hard in that situation to "play
it off cool." i can't be like "hey i know smoking isn't allowed on the plane, so do you have a stick of gum??"
so she shuts the door, and i clean myself up and spend another 3 minutes trying to clean up the mass of cum on
the floor. even though i did a pretty good job, its damn hard to get that shine out of the laminate flooring.
i'm finally done, so i open up the bathroom door to see a line of 10 or so people that's been building up since
i went into the bathroom like 20 minutes ago (again, it took my a while since its difficult to cum when you
think you're about to die). I get to look across the line of all of em, and say the only sensible thing i can
think of:
"for those of you going to use the bathroom, i'd make sure you're wearing shoes."
Oh my god, thank you for posting this. I had never heard this story before. He should tell more stories like this on the daily. edit: I just found this gem in the same thread + Show Spoiler +<`DeadVessel> i wish i had a twin sister
<MYM|DayNine> are you kidding
<MYM|DayNine> nick doens't even fucking
<MYM|DayNine> go in a different room
<`DeadVessel> no because they know what im doing
<`DeadVessel> LOL
<mnm> ><
<MYM|DayNine> he just starts jacking off
<MYM|DayNine> if he feels lik eit
<MYM|DayNine> like i remember over the summer
<`DeadVessel> i gotta meet tasteless
<mnm> brotherly love
<MYM|DayNine> we set our computers up
<MYM|DayNine> like 10 feet from eachother
<MYM|DayNine> so i'm playing a game
<MYM|DayNine> and i finish
<MYM|DayNine> take off my headphones
<MYM|DayNine> turn around
<MYM|DayNine> and nick is like totally naked
<MYM|DayNine> jacking off at his computer
<MYM|DayNine> and honestly
<rushz0rz> this is going in the quote thread
<MYM|DayNine> if i interrupt him, he won't even be mad
<mnm> lol
<MYM|DayNine> i'll be like "uhh nick..."
<`DeadVessel> sean can i put that in the irc thread?
<MYM|DayNine> he'll turn around, dick in hand and genuinely ask "hey sean, how'd ur game go?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sean plott is my hero Original thread? I can't imagine him telling stories like that nowadays (if thats not a fake).
Yup twas way before he was famous. But still well known within the community.
|
i cant believe no ones posted this but:
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/F1yi8.jpg)
|
so awesome. Artosis is very Bert.
|
It must be :O! It all makes sense now!
|
zomg artosis's face is just like bert's
|
On January 08 2011 06:29 CruelZeratul wrote:Show nested quote +On January 07 2011 05:57 allyourbase wrote:On January 07 2011 05:13 Therick wrote:On January 07 2011 04:30 -Strider- wrote:On January 07 2011 04:25 Skamtet wrote:
I expected the flight story. What's that? this is the flight story, by day9 + Show Spoiler +¨WTF i get caught jacking off all the time
i'm not unlucky, its just standard probability. i beat off alot. seriously, i beat off like if i keep doing it,
i'm gonna win something. its only natural people will stumble in eventually
FOR EXAMPLE
so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter
break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so
long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5
times during this flight."
its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny
ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit
a high enough altitude when i finally hear: *ding* "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising
altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the
time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i
gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk
to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.
i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD
it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2
square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly
ready to start screaming my own name.
then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated.
turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane
floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."
do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking
off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd
be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just
BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"
so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going
through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm
distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.
HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered
panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor.
still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press
it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes *ding ding ding ding*, making my
situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in
desperate need of help.
"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the
floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a
little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to
open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain,
looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.
so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an
all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i
look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."
???? why did i say that???? what a stupid thing to say... well... i guess it's hard in that situation to "play
it off cool." i can't be like "hey i know smoking isn't allowed on the plane, so do you have a stick of gum??"
so she shuts the door, and i clean myself up and spend another 3 minutes trying to clean up the mass of cum on
the floor. even though i did a pretty good job, its damn hard to get that shine out of the laminate flooring.
i'm finally done, so i open up the bathroom door to see a line of 10 or so people that's been building up since
i went into the bathroom like 20 minutes ago (again, it took my a while since its difficult to cum when you
think you're about to die). I get to look across the line of all of em, and say the only sensible thing i can
think of:
"for those of you going to use the bathroom, i'd make sure you're wearing shoes."
Oh my god, thank you for posting this. I had never heard this story before. He should tell more stories like this on the daily. edit: I just found this gem in the same thread + Show Spoiler +<`DeadVessel> i wish i had a twin sister
<MYM|DayNine> are you kidding
<MYM|DayNine> nick doens't even fucking
<MYM|DayNine> go in a different room
<`DeadVessel> no because they know what im doing
<`DeadVessel> LOL
<mnm> ><
<MYM|DayNine> he just starts jacking off
<MYM|DayNine> if he feels lik eit
<MYM|DayNine> like i remember over the summer
<`DeadVessel> i gotta meet tasteless
<mnm> brotherly love
<MYM|DayNine> we set our computers up
<MYM|DayNine> like 10 feet from eachother
<MYM|DayNine> so i'm playing a game
<MYM|DayNine> and i finish
<MYM|DayNine> take off my headphones
<MYM|DayNine> turn around
<MYM|DayNine> and nick is like totally naked
<MYM|DayNine> jacking off at his computer
<MYM|DayNine> and honestly
<rushz0rz> this is going in the quote thread
<MYM|DayNine> if i interrupt him, he won't even be mad
<mnm> lol
<MYM|DayNine> i'll be like "uhh nick..."
<`DeadVessel> sean can i put that in the irc thread?
<MYM|DayNine> he'll turn around, dick in hand and genuinely ask "hey sean, how'd ur game go?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sean plott is my hero Original thread? I can't imagine him telling stories like that nowadays (if thats not a fake).
Wicker basket post
+ Show Spoiler +On April 08 2008 11:59 perisie xx wrote:
possibly this topic will be acceptable.
do you guys or gals have any particular sexual fetishes?
for example,
1. are any of you particularly submissive or dominant, either gay or straight?
2. do any of you prefer a particular type of clothing on the opposite sex, like a skirt, panties, 1 piece swimsuit, or bikini?
3. do you prefer oral sex to regular sex, or do you have any particular "positions" that you prefer? do you have your eyes open when you kiss??
4. have any of you developed very deviant funs, such as wanting to tie a partner up, or to be tied up, or even to be cut or cut yourself?
5. how do you respond to various fetishes that are seemingly common within cultures? for example, japanese sailor outfits, or american cheerleaders, or british tights?
6. crazy fetishes! feet, long nails, trans genders... and people with object fetishes, like an obsession with shoes or nappies (ugh)
7. people who are so normal that they hate fetishes! you really cant understand this abnormal behaviour, you have religious beliefs or were brought up to think monty python "the meaning of life" was the true limit of sexuality
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. i'm straight and DEFINITELY dominant. i really don't like alot of girl on top positions.
2. thongs/lacy underwear is definitely unimaginably hot. for some reason, also, i'm really turned on when a girl is in comfy/pajama type clothing.
3. i <3 sex. i dunno what its called but "from the side" i guess? also, girl lying flat on her stomach w/ my behind is SOOO GOOD. in general, any position where i can spank her is cool! ^_^
4. chocolate syrup mmm 8]. blind folded is fun; tying up is fun.
5. SCHOOL GIRL OUTFIT FUUUCCCKK that's SOOOO HOTT loool <3333
6. oh my GOD i can't believe i'm going to tell TL.net this, but for some reason i LOVE the feeling of wicker rubbing against the bottom of my ballsack. one day, back at home, i was beating off and was like "oh no there's no kleenex. luckily, there was some stylish wicker trash basket upstairs that my mom had recently purchased for "decorative purposes." I figured "hey, i'll just cum into this trash bin and that'll be that." for some reason tho, as i pulled up the trash can, the feeling of the wicker against my balls felt SOOO GOOOD and gave me this insane killer cumshot that way overshot the trash can. every single time i've beat off and used that wicker basket its been fucking amazing. yesssssssss
also, i'm hugely turned on by a girl who is very very very sweet. kindness/sweetness is such a huge turn on. also, good sense of humor!
7. i'm not really sure what this question is asking, but i definitely think some fetishes are totally fucked up 8].
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=69181¤tpage=8#152
other thread:
found it: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=75411¤tpage=3
sean edited his post out, but it is still quoted in other posts in the thread
|
They shaved him to his skin?
The horror.
|
|
|
Exhibit E had me lol'ing for a bit,
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
