EPTNor, child, should you believe the chattering of the despicable Zerg, whose will is not even their own - indeed, ultimately, they are ruled by one of those dirty Terrans I already told you about! They are a step below the beast, caricatures of animals, whose only function is to be slaves - a fate decreed from before they were born.
Forget not, my son, that we are the Firstborn, and the Universe is our birthright. We are strength incarnate, the object of Hercules' envy. The least of us towers over the tallest of the foolish longpigs. We are the pinnacle of mindpower, and with will alone we cut down swathes of heathens. Each of us is half god.
Allow me a moment to briefly review our military, that proud and honoured Templar caste, whose legacy you will soon be part of.
Zealot - Upon completion of basic training, you will be assigned this rank. You will be given basic armor with shield capabilities, and you will be taught how to will a blade into being with a single thought. At this stage, you will already be able to cut down three zerglings (those "rabid hyena killer wasps with claws and amniotic fluids" you've heard about). You begin to see how easy this whole war thing is.
![[image loading]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Taezh4ULlfw/SS1A56cY8XI/AAAAAAAAAds/bKMZ3HpEd9M/s400/Luke+Skywalker+blue+lightsaber.jpg)
Our Cultural Researcher has informed me that many Terrans once worshipped a film, a fantasy in which a blade similar to ours was the pinnacle of power. Fortunately, you are Protoss, and you get two of these on Day 1.
Stalker - Witness your Dark Templar brethren and the immense strength of spirit they possess. Death itself is a mere nuisance to the hardy members of the Shakuras tribes. You see, when they die, they cut off their heads and get them fused onto teleporting machines. Which shoot lasers. All while still wearing their masks.
Dark Templar - The living counterparts of the Stalkers are born invisible. They learn to kill from childhood. You're not stupid so I'll leave it to you to do the math. (By the way, while we're on the subject, lol @ the level of Terran "math"... ridiculous)
![[image loading]](http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/5558/eyescantsee.jpg)
Your hands can't hit what your eyes can't see
Colossus - Witness the capability of Protoss engineering. The laws of nature, the universe, and logic have never managed to constrain our great scientists, and now we have constructed a behemoth that is at one time both walking and flying. On the battlefield, you will witness them in action - do not be surprised when they set fire to your enemies simply by looking at them.
High Templar - One day, with much hard work behind you, you may ascend to this position. When you have done so, you will be able to erupt masses of living minds at will. You will also have really, really cool bling in the form of a glowing Khaydarin crystal that rests atop your third eye. It will magnify your potence; your thoughts will manifest with terrible power.
+ Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/4393/psistorm.jpg)
Artist's rendition of a Psi Storm
The Templar's Creed
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the Khaydarin that thoughts acquire speed;
The body acquires levitation;
The levitation becomes a warning.
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the Khaydarin that thoughts acquire speed;
The body acquires levitation;
The levitation becomes a warning.
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
TL;DR Protoss have the biggest dicks in the universe. And if we didn't we would just will a bigger one into existence. It would actually work, because we are Protoss. And it would glow, too.
