The LiquidLegends Lounge - Page 1758

So my wife doesn't want our dog anymore.

I've always wanted a dog. Never got one myself because my old place wouldn't allow it. Otter never wanted one (didn't want responsibility and mess) but in the last few months suddenly flipped. Maybe she was lonely because my hours are so long, or maybe she'd just looked at too many picture of cute dogs on the internet. But for whatever reason since like July she's been talking about how it might be nice to get a dog, how she could train it and dress it up etc.

I told her I wouldn't get one without her being 100% on board, that it was her choice. She did her research, we talked a lot about it, came around to the type of dog we would want and how we would take care of it, how to manage the responsibilities, etc. When we were visiting shelters, she was so excited. When we picked up Ringo, she was extremely happy and was going on and on about things to buy, plans for the future, and so on.

The very next day I came home from work and she was basically in tears because she was so tired of him. And I admit, he's a very needy dog - we're pretty sure he was abandoned and homeless for a while before being brought to the shelter, which probably adds to it - he's always underfoot, looking for pats, jumping into laps, and whining when gated off or crated. But in my mind that's normal stuff, having had dogs before and helping train them. But Otter is having serious trouble handling it. She's irritated that her schedule isn't as open as it was before, that she can't just sit around alone, and that the dog won't obey her implicitly. He's also a bit nippy when he wants to play, which is cute but can be annoying.

I'm not perturbed. We've had him only a week and he's already adjusting, I knew it was going to take at least a month or more to get used to the new house and life. But the wife is just... taking it badly. She told me the other day she's considering just giving him back to the shelter because she's starting to hate him and he's bringing her much more stress than she's had before we got him.

I honestly just don't know what to do. I think things are going fine. He's had a few accidents, but only when he got really excited or when we messed up his bathroom schedule. He's good about his crate, he's not aggressive, and if you're firm with him he'll stop what he's doing at least for a while. Regular dog things. But it's clear that my Otter is just extremely stressed and unhappy.

I don't want to give him back. Firstly because I quite like him, but also because I just don't think he's a problem. But I don't want to tell my wife to just suck it up and deal with it until everything gets better, and her happiness is much more important than the dog's. Also... I don't want to just let her give up when it was her choice in the first place. I think it's important for her to be mature about this and take responsibility, but it's not like I'm her parent and can be strict about it with her.

I have no idea what to do here. I would take more of the responsibility, but I'm gone essentially 12 hours a day due to my commute and her lighter schedule means that it's much easier for her to be there with him. I'd be really upset if we gave him back, but it's not like I'd be happy if my Otter spiraled into depression because of the stress.

tl;dr - fuck my life