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[M][N] I'm a cop you idiot mafia --- the reboot - Page 31

Forum Index > TL Mafia
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cakepie
Profile Blog Joined November 2012
985 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-13 12:09:11
December 12 2016 12:54 GMT
#601
nuked
cakepie
Profile Blog Joined November 2012
985 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-13 12:25:37
December 12 2016 12:57 GMT
#602
On December 12 2016 21:37 ExO_ wrote:
He saw the same things I did, but he was in a tunnel that I don't think I could've found a way to pull him out of.

Two unfortunate VT passing like ships in the night.

+ Show Spoiler [ignore for now] +
I was right that there were "2 groups of people playing 2 different games"
it's just
CP, H1, CR, NU
TW, ExO, NU
cakepie
Profile Blog Joined November 2012
985 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-12 13:47:14
December 12 2016 13:36 GMT
#603
On December 12 2016 07:26 Chairman Ray wrote:
NU eventually made the right call of Fuck it, im just gonna straight up ask cakepie to vote first.


[still haven't looked at QTs don't want to "contaminate" my head with extra info before postmortem]
@CR -- NU may have never played with me before, but he has -- consciously or unconsciously -- really really good meta on me from NSM24. I just wish he had his "fuck it" realization sooner and put me out of my misery.
Koshi
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Belgium38799 Posts
December 13 2016 00:14 GMT
#604
This looked like a fun game. fuck you mafia for not letting me play.
I had a good night of sleep.
NeverUnlucky
Profile Joined August 2016
Canada1622 Posts
December 13 2016 00:33 GMT
#605
On December 13 2016 09:14 Koshi wrote:
This looked like a fun game. fuck you mafia for not letting me play.

Didn't want to disrespect you
"The more I look at it, the more convinced I am that NU bussed himself intentionally." -darthfoley
cakepie
Profile Blog Joined November 2012
985 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-13 10:56:15
December 13 2016 03:45 GMT
#606
My body is not ready, but my mind and emotional state are getting towards okay enough now I think.

I am going write this message to all hosts, players, obs.
I am going to try to be careful with my words. And not to offend anyone.



There is a lot of misunderstanding going on in this game, and in this postgame.
Because nobody has access to the inside of cakepie's head.

note: I still haven't read any qts!



@tw and exo.
You're really mad at me because you think I'm an idiot and a bad player for throwing the game and working my ass off to help scum. On top of that, from your POV you find me to be a huge arrogant snob who goes around preaching to people how to apply mafia fundamentals while being completely tunneled and obviously unable to use those same fundamentals properly myself. But I pinky swear this is not the case. Remember when I "burn out" and quit out of the thread at one point because I refuse to lose sleep any more? Everything after that. I was legitimately trying to do something to help town. But I was really burnt out. So I was playing suboptimally and rubbed you guys the wrong way. Sorry for that, I can see why now, in the clarity of postgame.

Please have good faith and believe that I'm not trying to belittle anyone. And that I was always trying my best, fighting through my illness and fatigue, to play to town wincon. You'll understand when I explain.


@scumteam
For a long time you struggled against what you perceived as a very dangerous foe. You showed me a lot of respect.
I thank you for that.

CR mentioned that for scum, your final solution was that you "overestimated" me. your final solution is that "cakepie isn't lying about being ill etc in order to fuck with us. he is really burnt out and the simple solution is that he is not thinking clearly and tunneling hard". but that's not the whole story.


@hosts
see what I said to scumteam. I think you guys mostly arrived at that conclusion as well, except you had ogi so you knew I was in fact legit superburnout and in a very very dark place.


@NU
See what I said to tw+exo above about the fact I'm not trying to belittle anyone. I was doing something... poorly.
the same goes for you. you might have perceived during the game that I'm a snob who kept behaving like you were a really shit VT.
Please trust me when i say that in the D2, I was absolutely not underestimating you in any way.
I'll honestly say that I did in underestimate you in the early game. And you nearly fooled me!

I've already expressed my great respect for you by PM.




In the postgame, I also came across as a snob, especially #589. I tried to explain that I sound like a snob due to my "immense relief+euphoria" (#594) that #593:
I wasn't doing as bad as I thought. I found back a lot of my confidence, whereas during the game I had experienced a very massive self esteem crisis. So I felt a lot better about myself, and saw that, at least until before I burnt out, I was actually doing really really well.

This part is truth.

Also in #593:
In hindsight it is very clear to everyone that I fucked up massively with that hard tunnel.
Yes, I tunneled very deep when I should have easily won the game without anyone else's help.

This part is a lie. I was fake tunnelling (almost) all the time.
Until my brain just gradually broke apart inside the incredible TvT echo chamber that the scumteam engineered for us.
They had so much respect for my play and saw me as such a big threat that they had to do it this way. (prolonging my suffering T_T)

I was just telling you guys what you wanted to hear so that you would calm down and stop being so mad at me. Because I was still not completely thinking straight and emotionally stable, and I realized that at that time I simply couldn't properly articulate what I really needed to convey to you. So I gave you the "easy answer" that you wanted. I'm sorry guys for lying, guys!

The real reason for my "immense relief+euphoria" is that I had a bunch of personal side goals for this game.
So not only relieved at the fact that my burnout was the biggest contributing factor for my immense throw (not due to tunneling!) but I was also very very proud of myself for hitting all my personal goals. I will share that with you if you will let me.

I'm not a hypocrite. I'm not the type to call people bad while playing badly myself. I'm self aware enough for that.
In #600 I point out that NU and I both autocorrecting for anger was not a mistake. For NU, this should be proof that I have that self awareness, and am not hypocritical. In the newbie game I scolded you for toxicity. I made a big lecture about "toxic" vs "anger in the heat of the moment". And we did good to stop ourselves where we did and cool off. =) *hi5*

Anyhow, during the game many people just assumed that due to what I was doing D2, I must be either a
- hypocritical arrogant asshole noob VT or
- scum.
Town's PoV Occam's razor during game: scum.
Postgame: this bloody fucking asshole noobcake.

Because that's what they see from their PoV. =((((

I'm not a snob who thinks I'm better than all of you. I swear. Coming into this game I knew that my NSM8 was utter shit.




edit note: there used to be a big section here. For those who saw that section -- I entrusted the decision to Acro. He decided that I'm being overdramatic. So. we are not locking the thread after all, there is no need to spoiler all your postgame discussion.
Acrofales
Profile Joined August 2010
Spain18004 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-13 11:36:51
December 13 2016 08:07 GMT
#607
Cakepie asked me to have this thread locked, so that should happen soon. He's writing a blog about this game. I'll put a link to that in the OP when it's done.
cakepie
Profile Blog Joined November 2012
985 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-13 10:57:14
December 13 2016 10:45 GMT
#608
+ Show Spoiler +


I need to get away from this forum for a couple of days and clear my head.

Thanks Acro for your sensitivity.

See you guys later.
cakepie
Profile Blog Joined November 2012
985 Posts
Last Edited: 2017-01-08 12:04:23
December 16 2016 05:35 GMT
#609
I'm back. Phew. I'm okay now.

I'll work on the blog thing episodically rather than all at once I think.

So much work.
Hopeless1der
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States5836 Posts
December 16 2016 05:55 GMT
#610
Glad to have you back cakepie.
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