Caller Game-Remove Incognito from the Premises - Page 5

You don't need oil to have fun. Balkans know something about that. The amount of bloodshed this are has gone through is horrible. The relations between nations are terrifying. The hatred mostly comes from the difference in religion and ideology of Yugoslavia. Some people liked it. Like Serbs. Some didn't. Like Kosovians. They are having fun. Again.

"-So, Čedomiľ. I am bored. How about we heaten up the cauldron? - said Vojislav emotionless.
-The only thing needing heating right now is my cigarette, Vojislav. Fire. - Čedomiľ responded disinterested.
Vojislav grabbed the lighter and helped his friend.
-But it's been so long! I know we are having a party here everyday, but I want fireworks! - Vojislav began to be really ecstatic.
-Remember how it went last time, jackass? - Čedomiľ 's voice started to sound angry.
-We changed the tale of our world! - Vojislav did not want to give up.
-WE STARTED A FUCKING WAR VOJISLAV, IT WASN'T ABOUT WRITING A FAIRYTALE! - Čedomiľ lost his shit.
-There are always wars, who cares. - Vojislav just shrugged.
-Well, I actually had sex with a gorgeous woman, so you might have a different opinion on that, piczko. Oh, I do miss her tits. - Čedomiľ surprisingly calmed and started getting nostalgic.
-Pojeboc ce? - Vojislav said with a seductive tone.
-Pojeb se sam. - Čedomiľ responded and they just sat in silence.
While they both were daydreaming, an Albanian called Dritan has just arrived in their town with a small pistol hidden in his jacket pocket. He adapted a genius disguise - he just started muttering "Kosovo est Serbskie!" "Jebac sejluks!" "Kebab jebac!" and so on. He was searching for a door labelled "Secret Black Hand Hideout, do not enter!". When he found these, he politely knocked.
-CODEWORD! - someone(actually Čedomiľ) responded.
-REMOVE KEBAB FROM PREMISES! - Dritan shouted.
-TO JE NAS SLUCAJ ! - Vojislav shouted back and opened the door.
-I am Dritan, I want to help. - said Dritan truthfully.
-Srbin? - asked Čedomiľ calmly.
-Albanac, ali jebat Turci! - responded Dritan with passion.
-Covek mora prsten do prijatelji! - Vojislav got all heated up.
-Prepare votka Vojislav, there is some planning to do. - Čedomiľ slowy gave Vojislav an order.
-Željko i Bakir uskoro dolaze do nas. - Dritan happily told Serbs about guests.
-Sjajno. We will wait then with a feast then. THE BLACK HAND IS TOGETHER AGAIN! - Čedomiľ couldn't hold back his happiness.
Željko and Bakir did arrive shortly. After our dear Slavs have drunk all of vodka, they picked wine, then hooch and then finally the rawest of all - methyl alcohol. Using the old ways of drinking it through bread they've drunk total of Pacific Ocean's volume. Finally, the Slavs could get a good sleep. In the meanwhile, Turks were planning another invasion of Balkans. They've dreamed about gorgeous Slav women who like to go rough and patiently have sex many times a day. They've dreamed about kebab everyday. They've dreamed about removal of Slav men. Turks of all cities and villages picked their banners and pitchforks. It was time for Jihad, for Allah's sexual glory!
In the meantime of meantime, the Polish were trying hard to lose some wars, but puny Swedes and Russians just couldn't beat the overpowered Castle Polish troops. They've blamed Zealots and Archangels but everyone thinks they're fine so Swedes and Russians were just called balance whiners. The problem were the Turks: Those guys knew how to pack a punch. So while they were planning an attack, Poles were planning an attack AND a defence. If Slavs lose, they will remove all their kebab and put it in Vienna, then attracted Turks will go there and try to siege the city, which won't fall because of glorious Cossack Kebab. If Turks lose, they will attack Turkeyland and take all their kebab and willing Turkey women.
It is a well known fact that only Poles and Turks were manly enough in the history to care about the real treasure: gorgeous women. Another fact is that Poles did not do that well in wars and lost many men and women, got depressed and for some stupid reason elected a Saxon king. Twice.
Then they were too ashamed of their choice of ugly German women to do anything. I don't want to spoil it all, but let's say that one Kat was pretty happy about her Goat and they brought hope again...