EPT
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Hello. My name is Park Ji Hoon. I am a Korean man. I am fully Korean but I have mastered english after studying you American men in America for several years in a research project. Here are my results.
We Korean Men are superior to you filty disgusting American men. Our manhood shines brighter than you in almost every single facet. This brings me to my first point. Notice I said "almost" every single facet. We Korean Men actually have the humility and self respect to admit our flaws. We do not strut around acting like we are kings of the world like you American men. So, while we do excell above you in almost every single aspect, we also admit our flaws.
Number one: you have a height advantage on us. Nothing to say to that. Number two: your penises are generally bigger. But not as big as you'd think. The difference in average is quite big but the only reason why the average American male is ranged so much bigger than the average Korean male is merely because African American males are included in your averages. And yes I do know that African Americans are Americans but I'm only talking about you White American males here. The African Americans I have no qualms with because not only do they keep to themselves in their own country, but they make damn good rap music. A great stress releiver is thugging it out to rap music in the daily traffic jams in my KIA on the streets of Kang-nam. And frankly about the penis size thing, even if you guys are bigger; we are smaller, harder, and can fuck eight times in a row like rabbits. You invest all this time and money into a beautiful woman, fall in love, only to end up dumped by them because you can't satisfy them. Not us Korean men though. We fuck them so many times that it's impossible they are not satisfied. And even if they aren't atleast they'll be too sore to even think about wanting to go out and find another man. So wait does number two even count as a flaw?
We Korean men are better than you. We are much more hard working and diligent. We show up to work early and leave late always spiffy top to bottom in a suit and tie. We work great in teams. We can establish physical contact with another male for whatever non-homosexual reason without feeling all insecure about ourselves and questioning our manhood. We can even sleep in the same bed with another man sharing the same blanket. We are more confident than you. We can go to saunas together and walk around in a communal bath house together naked with our fellow man with no problems at all. Why can't you American men? Perhaps because your pee-pee actually isn't as big as you'd like people to think it is? We share foods. We can eat food from eachothers' plates and spoon soup out of the same bowl double dipping with our spoons with no fear of contracting diseases like you American men have. We can digest the spiciest foods no problem without getting diahrrea due to our diet of kimchi and healthy spicy soups. Our healthy balanced diets make our body odor non-existent unlike you big hairy smelly American men. Our sweat glands are not over-developed and our pale-yellow skin keeps our body temperature at a cool level without having to drip out seven gallons of salty gross smelly sweat. All of our Korean men are educated well in all subjects and are superior at math. We actually take time to learn other languages. You American men are all idiots and I'd like to see you speak any Korean let alone name all 50 of your own states. We all have 2 years training in the Army. You are all fat lazy slobs. We respect our elders and support those younger than us with our heart-felt Hyung-Dongseng relationships. You talk down to the elderly as if they don't exist and mock those younger than you. Our structured society keeps us out of fights and there are no guns and violence. You American men are so insecure that you get in bar fights all the time just because some guy was staring at your girlfriend. Hey idiots, if guys are staring at your girlfriend it means shes hot. Be proud of yourself and bask in the moment. Do not get in a fight against three guys for no reason just to get two black eyes and your ass beat. No wonder why your women always leave you, hahaha.
Speaking of women our women are the most beautiful in the world. Our women stay in tip top shape and have slender sexy bodies meanwhile your women are all fat disgusting cows that for some reason believe it's okay to let their fat stomachs sag out of their too tight t-shirts. You may try to mock our women's teeth or lack of breasts but theres nothing a good orthodontist or a good plastic surgeon can't fix, and we got plenty of them as modern Korean plastic surgery is the best in the world. Our beautiful women stay to themselves and do not waste their time associating with fat ugly girls that are merely there to boost their own self esteem and cock block. Our women are beautiful, smart, confident, and they know it enough to not need some overgrown frog tell them "Wow you look gorgeous today." You are all so pathetic that you've actually let your country sink to a level where your bovine women have equal or dominating power in relationships. We know how to train our women. Our women will cook amazing dinners and clean rigorously day in and day out without demands. There are no stay at home dads in Korea, we are not pussies. We are the man in the relationship, we make the money, and we get the services that we deserve. Your women force you to cook meals for them because it's "your turn," or do the dishes because it's "only fair." Our women yell at us to "STOP THAT" when we attempt to help with the clean up process. Your women make you wait ages before the first lay, then they make you the bitch of the relationship, then they cheat on you, then they leave you, and while they do that they take half your money! You even let a woman run for president. Are you out of your minds?
We are better than you. You all think you are better than us. But you're dead wrong. Just like you're dead wrong when you think Korean men can't drink. Let me inform you the Korean men that can't drink are Korean men that went to America at an early age forced by some mentally afflicted parents and grew up there. The lack of kimchi and influx of self-destructive American principles makes them weak in every way, including alcohol. They are traitors and they are weak. They are not Korean men. A real Korean man is a true warrior when drinking. Never back down and never leave a man behind. If one of us drinks all of us drink. Meanwhile you guys run around at a party after three shots saying "Damn dude, I'm SO buzzed!" No. You're not buzzed. You're American. Just as I hawk loogies all the time in public and spit them on the street, I spit on you, American man.
