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My Mom Is Trying To Kill Me?

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CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-09 22:46:27
August 09 2007 22:39 GMT
#1
So last night I go out with my GF and we get really fucking drunk off Cap. Mo (not as bad as Dknight, but pretty close). We must've drank like 75% of the bottle ( the big kind you buy for like 25$)

Anyways I get up this morning and I remember that I left my keys in my GF car and that she parked far and we got a ride home cause we were drunk. I however parked close to her house but she only has the keys to her car. lol this has nothing to do with my story hahah.

Ok so my mom picks comes drops off the spare key and I follow her home and I get out of the car and shes like "can you mow the lawn today?" I say "sure" even though its mid summer and it doesn't need to be mowed because it doesn't barely even grow in this California summer heat. Whatever It'll take me 5 minutes, I could use the sun, and It'll keep my mom and my gramma off my back for awhile.

I go out there to start the mower where I normally start it and I start to push when I see this little chunk of iron/steel right in front of the mower. So I'm like 'wtf that was close', and turn it off to pick it up and see that its some old valve from the garage which we recently cleaned out.
[image loading]

So I go to start the mower again and push it forward a little bit and out rolls this little gem..


[image loading]
A FULLY LOADED 12 GAUGE SHOTGUN SHELL CASING.

ITS A SETUP!

edit- ITS A TRAP!
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
ilovezil
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States4143 Posts
August 09 2007 22:40 GMT
#2
QUICK! STOP IDLING AND MICRO!
Eniram
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
Sudan3166 Posts
August 09 2007 22:41 GMT
#3
Its a trap!
You can like take a newb to like water, but you cant like make a newb drink. Ya know? - Jeremy
Woyn
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United Kingdom1628 Posts
August 09 2007 22:42 GMT
#4
On August 10 2007 07:41 Eniram wrote:
Its a trap!
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
August 09 2007 22:42 GMT
#5
Your mom hates you; there is no other explanation.
Ranger)
Profile Joined April 2006
Chile105 Posts
August 09 2007 22:43 GMT
#6
ITS A TRAP
Win or lose but always fight
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
August 09 2007 22:43 GMT
#7
Seriously though This motherfucker would have blown off my leg, Then I would have to get into competitive wheel chair racing or something.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
PanoRaMa
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
United States5069 Posts
August 09 2007 22:43 GMT
#8
LOL KARMA.
statix
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States1760 Posts
August 09 2007 22:44 GMT
#9
one time i ran over a box of 20 gauge shotgun shells with the lawn mower...none of them went off for some odd reason
SCC-Caliban
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-10 04:30:19
August 09 2007 22:44 GMT
#10
On August 10 2007 07:43 PanoRaMa wrote:
LOL KARMA.


nono, I am ok... for now.. ;-_____-a
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-09 22:45:34
August 09 2007 22:45 GMT
#11
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
Pads
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
England3228 Posts
August 09 2007 22:45 GMT
#12
I suggest killing your mother before she try's any more stunts like this.
#1 Kwanro[saM] fan!
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
August 09 2007 22:47 GMT
#13
hahahahahahah
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
Dknight
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
United States5223 Posts
August 09 2007 22:48 GMT
#14
You should've seen yourself Saturday night/Sunday morning.
WGT<3. Former CL/NW head admin.
oneofthem
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Cayman Islands24199 Posts
August 09 2007 22:48 GMT
#15
oh wow.
We have fed the heart on fantasies, the heart's grown brutal from the fare, more substance in our enmities than in our love
{ToT}Strafe
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
Thailand7026 Posts
August 09 2007 22:48 GMT
#16
On August 10 2007 07:42 Woyn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 10 2007 07:41 Eniram wrote:
Its a trap!


http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=54128

its a trap
BroOd
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Austin10831 Posts
August 09 2007 22:48 GMT
#17
At dinner, slam the shell down on the table and scream NICE TRY SUCCUBUS right before you knock her out.
ModeratorSIRL and JLIG.
Duke
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
United States1106 Posts
August 09 2007 22:48 GMT
#18
stick it in her pooper
Woyn
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United Kingdom1628 Posts
August 09 2007 22:51 GMT
#19
The question you should be asking yourself... Is where are the REST of the shells
Sudyn
Profile Joined May 2007
United States744 Posts
August 09 2007 22:58 GMT
#20
On August 10 2007 07:51 Woyn wrote:
The question you should be asking yourself... Is where are the REST of the shells


!! Oh no!

Well, think of it this way. Maybe she's just preparing against a zombie invasion.

An invasion of home-decorating zombies.

Yeah, that's it.
Gaetele banned?
dronebabo
Profile Blog Joined December 2003
10866 Posts
August 09 2007 23:01 GMT
#21
--- Nuked ---
BuGzlToOnl
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States5918 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-09 23:04:32
August 09 2007 23:04 GMT
#22
attention whore :p
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
Hittegods
Profile Joined April 2007
Stockholm4640 Posts
August 09 2007 23:04 GMT
#23
Your mother!
This neo violence, pure self defiance
weaksauce
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
369 Posts
August 09 2007 23:08 GMT
#24
[image loading]
even if he DID detect penis - cubEdin
skindzer
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
Chile5114 Posts
August 09 2007 23:14 GMT
#25
On August 10 2007 07:42 Woyn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 10 2007 07:41 Eniram wrote:
Its a trap!


[image loading]
Its not only the rain that brings the thunder
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
August 09 2007 23:24 GMT
#26
HAHAHA AKBAR!


"The death star is still fully functional! Take evasive maneuvers!"
CC Rider
Profile Joined September 2006
289 Posts
August 09 2007 23:27 GMT
#27
next she'll probably cut your car's breaks.
CustomXSpunjah
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States1093 Posts
August 09 2007 23:30 GMT
#28
tell her to make you a smoothie while your mowing the lawn, and put the shell in the blender.....
beware, the rise of the Protoss is upon us!
Equinox_kr
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States7395 Posts
August 09 2007 23:32 GMT
#29
That's crazy
^-^
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32274 Posts
August 09 2007 23:32 GMT
#30
On August 10 2007 07:43 PanoRaMa wrote:
LOL KARMA.


LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Moderator<:3-/-<
ManaBlue
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
Canada10458 Posts
August 09 2007 23:32 GMT
#31
Hahaha, you\'re a lucky man Charlie.
ModeratorTL VOD legends: Live2Win, hasuprotoss, Cadical, rinizim, Mani, thedeadhaji, Kennigit, SonuvBob, yakii, fw, pheer, CDRdude, pholon, Uraeus, zatic, baezzi. The contributors make this site what it is. *Props to FakeSteve for respecting the guitar gods*
sonoL
Profile Joined August 2006
Korea (South)180 Posts
August 09 2007 23:33 GMT
#32
On August 10 2007 07:48 DukE wrote:
stick it in her pooper
MyEnjoy
RowdierBob
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
Australia13005 Posts
August 10 2007 00:03 GMT
#33
Clear signal of aggression here.

Send her an anthrax letter.
"Terrans are pretty much space-Australians" - H
{CC}StealthBlue
Profile Blog Joined January 2003
United States41117 Posts
August 10 2007 00:06 GMT
#34
[image loading]
"Smokey, this is not 'Nam, this is bowling. There are rules."
il0seonpurpose
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Korea (South)5638 Posts
August 10 2007 00:24 GMT
#35
wow dude ask ur mom about it
thoraxe
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States1449 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-10 00:39:14
August 10 2007 00:37 GMT
#36
On August 10 2007 07:39 CharlieMurphy wrote:
I could use the sun,

too much Starcraft huh?

Obama singing "Kick Ass" Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yghFBt-fXmw&feature=player_embedde
thoraxe
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
United States1449 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-10 00:39:23
August 10 2007 00:38 GMT
#37
On August 10 2007 07:40 ilovezil wrote:
QUICK! STOP IDLING AND MICRO!

I would be dead by now
Obama singing "Kick Ass" Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yghFBt-fXmw&feature=player_embedde
lesser_good
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Canada698 Posts
August 10 2007 01:14 GMT
#38
On August 10 2007 07:45 Pads wrote:
I suggest killing your mother before she try's any more stunts like this.


qft
pew pew
Dyllyn
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Singapore670 Posts
August 10 2007 03:54 GMT
#39
if that's a shotgun shell, where's the shotgun?

look around quickly
scv rush ftw
BalloonFight
Profile Blog Joined May 2006
United States2007 Posts
August 10 2007 04:08 GMT
#40
On August 10 2007 08:01 dronebabo wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 10 2007 07:43 PanoRaMa wrote:
LOL KARMA.

ROFL
SpiritAshura
Profile Joined March 2007
United States1271 Posts
August 10 2007 04:25 GMT
#41
[image loading]
CustomXSpunjah
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States1093 Posts
August 10 2007 04:28 GMT
#42
[image loading]
beware, the rise of the Protoss is upon us!
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
August 10 2007 04:28 GMT
#43
lol tarp
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
IIICodeIIIIIII
Profile Joined April 2006
China1101 Posts
August 10 2007 05:47 GMT
#44
make a loud bang sound next to your lawn mower. when she comes out, pretend like your leg is hurt and show her the [fake] scratches and blood on it. then harass her for money and what not because you got injured. a week later, be like "haha, bitch i was just joking but i'll keep your money. oh ya, and you better give me more if you don't want me to black mail you."
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
August 10 2007 05:51 GMT
#45
great a hundred fucking image macros
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
StripedBlueCrow
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States506 Posts
August 10 2007 06:02 GMT
#46
Do a barrel roll!
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Reflex
Profile Joined March 2007
Canada703 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-10 06:27:17
August 10 2007 06:24 GMT
#47
(Sorry, Steve)

[image loading]


Just thought this would be appropriate.
MoNKeYSpanKeR
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States2869 Posts
August 10 2007 06:48 GMT
#48
On August 10 2007 07:44 statix wrote:
one time i ran over a box of 20 gauge shotgun shells with the lawn mower...none of them went off for some odd reason

Attempted suicide?
<3's Mani and Seraphim, thx for the second chance. TSL Name: TSL-mSLeGenD
NarutO
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
Germany18839 Posts
August 10 2007 06:51 GMT
#49
Kill her!
CommentatorPolt | MMA | Jjakji | BoxeR | NaDa | MVP | MKP ... truly inspiring.
zizou21
Profile Joined September 2006
United States3683 Posts
August 10 2007 06:51 GMT
#50
On August 10 2007 07:48 BroOd wrote:
At dinner, slam the shell down on the table and scream NICE TRY SUCCUBUS right before you knock her out.


LOL
its me, tasteless,s roomate LOL!
x_woof_x
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States659 Posts
August 10 2007 07:00 GMT
#51
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL
STOP...... Manner time. 윤상현
Krohm
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Canada1857 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-10 08:50:03
August 10 2007 08:49 GMT
#52
+ Show Spoiler +
On August 10 2007 15:24 Reflex] wrote:
(Sorry, Steve)

[image loading]


Just thought this would be appropriate.


Holy Fuck... That picture... Is... God.
Not bad for a cat toy.
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24676 Posts
August 10 2007 09:00 GMT
#53
On August 10 2007 15:48 MoNKeYSpanKeR wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 10 2007 07:44 statix wrote:
one time i ran over a box of 20 gauge shotgun shells with the lawn mower...none of them went off for some odd reason

Attempted suicide?


I think that's actually a very poor way to try to commit suicide. It's not really as easy to set off ammo as some people think. The pin generally needs to strike it just right. Don't try it at home though.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
mel_ee
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
2448 Posts
August 10 2007 09:03 GMT
#54
omgosh that soap bar picture is win.
Behold the bold soldier, control the globe slowly proceeds to blow swingin swords like Shinobi
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32051 Posts
August 10 2007 15:41 GMT
#55
On August 10 2007 08:14 skindzer wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 10 2007 07:42 Woyn wrote:
On August 10 2007 07:41 Eniram wrote:
Its a trap!


[image loading]


ROFL i just bursted out laughing at work cuz of this.

Id go with broods suggestion charlie.
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
CTStalker
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Canada9720 Posts
August 10 2007 15:49 GMT
#56
On August 10 2007 07:48 BroOd wrote:
At dinner, slam the shell down on the table and scream NICE TRY SUCCUBUS right before you knock her out.

better yet, he could drive over her head with the lawnmower misery-style
By the way, my name is Funk. I am not of your world
Jonoman92
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
United States9103 Posts
August 10 2007 16:00 GMT
#57
haha, you're lucky man. I wish I had cool stuff like that lying around in my yard.
PePe QuiCoSE
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
Argentina1204 Posts
August 10 2007 17:09 GMT
#58
hey, could anyone blame her?
Jayson X
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Switzerland2431 Posts
August 10 2007 18:09 GMT
#59
On August 10 2007 07:48 BroOd wrote:
At dinner, slam the shell down on the table and scream NICE TRY SUCCUBUS right before you knock her out.


Haha i just can't stop laughing!!
Gold pure gold.
AngryLlama
Profile Joined September 2005
United States1227 Posts
August 10 2007 18:23 GMT
#60
for all we know, as he was typing this on his computer his mother was waiting behind him so dont be surprised if we never hear from sir CharlieMurphy ever again
[angst]chraej
Profile Joined January 2006
1445 Posts
August 10 2007 18:43 GMT
#61
An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded
Hasse
Profile Joined November 2003
Sweden579 Posts
August 22 2007 23:53 GMT
#62
I love you all.

But Charlies mother doesnt.

LOL!
You can get alot more with a kind word and a gun, than just a kind word - Al Capone
nitram
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Canada5412 Posts
August 23 2007 00:14 GMT
#63
So many people are getting killed this week.
Mods can take a day off
These sites might be of more use than a StarCraft site, where the majority of posters look on WCIII as the dense misformed fetus produced during Blizzards latest miscarrige.
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
August 23 2007 00:28 GMT
#64
EPIC LULZ

ITS A TRAP
funkie
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Venezuela9374 Posts
August 23 2007 00:33 GMT
#65
MICRO MOTHERFUCKER

MICRO
CJ Entusman #6! · Strength is the basis of athletic ability. -Rippetoe /* http://j.mp/TL-App <- TL iPhone App 2.0! */
MoNKeYSpanKeR
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States2869 Posts
August 23 2007 00:40 GMT
#66
IT'S A TARP!
<3's Mani and Seraphim, thx for the second chance. TSL Name: TSL-mSLeGenD
Last Romantic
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States20661 Posts
August 23 2007 00:46 GMT
#67
It's a TRAP
ㅋㄲㅈㅁ
EpiK
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Korea (South)5757 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-08-23 00:47:44
August 23 2007 00:47 GMT
#68
haha, I always liked that guy =D
Gokey
Profile Joined November 2006
United States2722 Posts
August 23 2007 00:58 GMT
#69
admiral ackbar!!!!!

holy shit, how did i miss this gem of a thread from like 2 weeks ago
HumbleZealot
Profile Joined February 2006
Canada508 Posts
August 23 2007 01:19 GMT
#70
So does your mom hate you in real life or is this some awesome joke?
NewbSaibot
Profile Joined May 2004
3849 Posts
August 23 2007 01:55 GMT
#71
[image loading]
I went to the chippy last night and only orderd chips because I knew I could get fish from her bushy plate.
pyrogenetix
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
China5094 Posts
August 23 2007 11:30 GMT
#72
wtf is this for real?
Yea that looks just like Kang Min... amazing game sense... and uses mind games well, but has the micro of a washed up progamer.
MagiC[DawN]
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
46 Posts
August 23 2007 11:32 GMT
#73
On August 23 2007 20:30 pyrogenetix wrote:
wtf is this for real?


No, maybe it's just a joke. That wouldn't happend, dude.
Do you best, forget the rest
DarkYoDA
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States1347 Posts
August 23 2007 11:36 GMT
#74
[image loading]
It's a comedy to claim thy superiority when it's anothers' inferiority which elevated thy mediocrity
DwmC_Foefen
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
Belgium2186 Posts
August 23 2007 11:48 GMT
#75
Theres a "my father is trying to kill" thread also :p
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5281 Posts
August 23 2007 11:54 GMT
#76
[image loading]

MagiC[DawN]
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
46 Posts
August 23 2007 13:34 GMT
#77
Rofl... Anyways, this thread probably gonna die over the night.
Do you best, forget the rest
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
August 23 2007 22:05 GMT
#78
OLDDDDD
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
ilovehyj
Profile Joined January 2006
China23 Posts
August 24 2007 15:34 GMT
#79
where's my snare?
I love Rachel
Bub
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States3518 Posts
August 24 2007 15:39 GMT
#80
Why am I not surprised??
XK ßubonic
XythOs
Profile Blog Joined February 2005
Germany520 Posts
August 24 2007 15:43 GMT
#81
On August 23 2007 22:34 MagiC[DawN] wrote:
Rofl... Anyways, this op probably gonna die over the night.

FYP
inept.
Profile Joined August 2007
Iceland69 Posts
August 24 2007 16:10 GMT
#82
DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT
hi im a bundy
nOob
Profile Joined November 2005
Spain120 Posts
August 24 2007 16:52 GMT
#83
So this guy is still alive? Tell us how you did it! Did you finally knocked out your mother? >.<
LRM)nOob MgZ)inneoov LRM)DadA DadA(elite)
~OpZ~
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
United States3652 Posts
August 24 2007 17:05 GMT
#84
You mean knocked up?!

LULZ

Incest FTL ._.
Maybe I could teach Osama that using a plane as a wraith or dropship would be 10x better than using it as a scourge..... ^^; -Flex
nOob
Profile Joined November 2005
Spain120 Posts
August 24 2007 17:14 GMT
#85
ZOMG OH NOES

I mean beating her till she loses consciousness, it was an idea discussed back in the thread O_O;
LRM)nOob MgZ)inneoov LRM)DadA DadA(elite)
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
August 24 2007 20:58 GMT
#86
On August 23 2007 20:48 DwmC_Foefen wrote:
Theres a "my father is trying to kill" thread also :p


biter!
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
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