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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
white_horse
Profile Joined July 2010
1019 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 20:10:35
November 04 2013 19:53 GMT
#6121
Ok I have a question about matchmaking.

My brother's university is having a banquet next year and you are allowed to bring a date. I asked a girl I know to help me find a date for my brother since she knows other girls in the area where my brother goes to school. She said she has several girls interested in being the date for my brother's banquet but hasn't gotten a more specific response from them yet. My question is, should I hand over the self-picture that my brother has given me for the potential dates to see? I'm just wondering what the timing should be regarding when I give her the picture.
Translator
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45003 Posts
November 04 2013 19:57 GMT
#6122
On November 05 2013 04:07 ComaDose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 15:06 kaykaykay wrote:
why would you still want to be friends with a girl who rejects you.

for the same reason your friends with all your other friends obviously. you don't have to relationship zone people.


You sure it's not because you're secretly hoping that she'll "come around" and decide at a later time that she wants to be with you?
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
November 04 2013 20:56 GMT
#6123
On November 04 2013 09:25 calgar wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 07:51 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
My rules for religion is pretty simple. I don't really mind if a girl is religious so long as you wouldn't attempt to make me go to church or follow any general dumb life rules. If she personally believes in any God but it doesn't really alter my life or our relationship in a noticeable way then I don't really care.

I'd be prepared to get married in a church and let any kids be christened because they're one off's I just wouldn't give up every Sunday morning, wait for sex until marriage or follow any other general nonsense.
You wouldn't mind raising your kids to believe in something you thought was fiction?


The beauty of atheism is that you don't really have any reason at all to care if someone else believes in God.
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
November 04 2013 21:20 GMT
#6124
On November 05 2013 04:57 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 05 2013 04:07 ComaDose wrote:
On November 04 2013 15:06 kaykaykay wrote:
why would you still want to be friends with a girl who rejects you.

for the same reason your friends with all your other friends obviously. you don't have to relationship zone people.


You sure it's not because you're secretly hoping that she'll "come around" and decide at a later time that she wants to be with you?

I am quite sure that's exactly why most people do it. I'm not in that situation myself just thought i would answer his question.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45003 Posts
November 04 2013 21:32 GMT
#6125
On November 05 2013 05:56 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 09:25 calgar wrote:
On November 04 2013 07:51 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
My rules for religion is pretty simple. I don't really mind if a girl is religious so long as you wouldn't attempt to make me go to church or follow any general dumb life rules. If she personally believes in any God but it doesn't really alter my life or our relationship in a noticeable way then I don't really care.

I'd be prepared to get married in a church and let any kids be christened because they're one off's I just wouldn't give up every Sunday morning, wait for sex until marriage or follow any other general nonsense.
You wouldn't mind raising your kids to believe in something you thought was fiction?


The beauty of atheism is that you don't really have any reason at all to care if someone else believes in God.


Well, people's actions are guided by their beliefs, and so if someone does something inappropriate and tries justifying it via their beliefs (e.g., *in the name of* theism, specific religion, etc.), that could surely be a reason for you to care that they hold that belief.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
November 04 2013 21:33 GMT
#6126
On November 05 2013 04:57 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 05 2013 04:07 ComaDose wrote:
On November 04 2013 15:06 kaykaykay wrote:
why would you still want to be friends with a girl who rejects you.

for the same reason your friends with all your other friends obviously. you don't have to relationship zone people.


You sure it's not because you're secretly hoping that she'll "come around" and decide at a later time that she wants to be with you?


I'm sure people do that, but surely you don't deny the benefit of having a number of female friends?
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
November 04 2013 21:38 GMT
#6127
On November 05 2013 05:56 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 09:25 calgar wrote:
On November 04 2013 07:51 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
My rules for religion is pretty simple. I don't really mind if a girl is religious so long as you wouldn't attempt to make me go to church or follow any general dumb life rules. If she personally believes in any God but it doesn't really alter my life or our relationship in a noticeable way then I don't really care.

I'd be prepared to get married in a church and let any kids be christened because they're one off's I just wouldn't give up every Sunday morning, wait for sex until marriage or follow any other general nonsense.
You wouldn't mind raising your kids to believe in something you thought was fiction?


The beauty of atheism is that you don't really have any reason at all to care if someone else believes in God.

The problem I have with most organized religion practice-ers isn't so much which invisible man in the sky they pray to as much as how much money they are donating to an organization that forwards oppressive ideals.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
November 04 2013 21:52 GMT
#6128
On November 05 2013 06:38 ComaDose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 05 2013 05:56 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
On November 04 2013 09:25 calgar wrote:
On November 04 2013 07:51 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
My rules for religion is pretty simple. I don't really mind if a girl is religious so long as you wouldn't attempt to make me go to church or follow any general dumb life rules. If she personally believes in any God but it doesn't really alter my life or our relationship in a noticeable way then I don't really care.

I'd be prepared to get married in a church and let any kids be christened because they're one off's I just wouldn't give up every Sunday morning, wait for sex until marriage or follow any other general nonsense.
You wouldn't mind raising your kids to believe in something you thought was fiction?


The beauty of atheism is that you don't really have any reason at all to care if someone else believes in God.

The problem I have with most organized religion practice-ers isn't so much which invisible man in the sky they pray to as much as how much money they are donating to an organization that forwards oppressive ideals.


On November 05 2013 06:32 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 05 2013 05:56 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
On November 04 2013 09:25 calgar wrote:
On November 04 2013 07:51 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
My rules for religion is pretty simple. I don't really mind if a girl is religious so long as you wouldn't attempt to make me go to church or follow any general dumb life rules. If she personally believes in any God but it doesn't really alter my life or our relationship in a noticeable way then I don't really care.

I'd be prepared to get married in a church and let any kids be christened because they're one off's I just wouldn't give up every Sunday morning, wait for sex until marriage or follow any other general nonsense.
You wouldn't mind raising your kids to believe in something you thought was fiction?


The beauty of atheism is that you don't really have any reason at all to care if someone else believes in God.


Well, people's actions are guided by their beliefs, and so if someone does something inappropriate and tries justifying it via their beliefs (e.g., *in the name of* theism, specific religion, etc.), that could surely be a reason for you to care that they hold that belief.


Not really an issue with the kind of liberal Christianity you're going to see in the UK.
crazyweasel
Profile Joined March 2011
607 Posts
November 04 2013 22:06 GMT
#6129
from dating to religion debate....

@ whitehorse, give her the picture asap. the girl who will then come will already have some kind of interest with him, making it then easier for your bro to do his thing. the self confidence it brings to know that the girl is at least physically attracted makes it better for you to promote yourself.
Mentalizor
Profile Joined January 2011
Denmark1596 Posts
November 04 2013 22:11 GMT
#6130
On November 04 2013 22:54 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 21:47 Grumbels wrote:
On November 04 2013 19:52 SixStrings wrote:
I think mine stops working when you go below a certain age.

20/2+5=15, that's a bit creepy. Maybe it should 1/3+9 to be universally applicable.
18: 15
21: 16
30: 19
45: 24
60: 29

Works perfectly.

30: 19 is creepy.


I agree... that's a stretch imo. I'm fine with the standard "halve your age, then add seven" procedure.


Being one of those horrible guys with a set of rules, I can confirm that this is what me and my friends go by aswell.

...§7: Half + 7...

And speaking about the rules... To the guy whose girl stopped texting... I'll just drop this single rule for you:

...§2: Don't double-text... If she doesn't answer, she's just not interested or simply too busy and will reply later. Being too desperate for her attention wont ever help.
(yಠ,ಠ)y - Y U NO ALL IN? - rtsAlaran: " I somehow sit inside the bus.Hot_Bit giving me a massage"
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 22:23:45
November 04 2013 22:22 GMT
#6131
Half Plus 7 rounded down is solid as it comes. Although as a 25 year I'd say if she old enough to get in the club it's fair game.

On November 05 2013 07:06 crazyweasel wrote:
from dating to religion debate....

@ whitehorse, give her the picture asap. the girl who will then come will already have some kind of interest with him, making it then easier for your bro to do his thing. the self confidence it brings to know that the girl is at least physically attracted makes it better for you to promote yourself.


Yeah, I think the pure blind date is really pointless unless your bro looks like Brad Pitt and is attracted to anything with a vagina. You need to make sure there's a physical attraction there otherwise it could easily be a total time waste.
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4210 Posts
November 04 2013 23:07 GMT
#6132
On November 05 2013 07:22 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
Half Plus 7 rounded down is solid as it comes. Although as a 25 year I'd say if she old enough to get in the club it's fair game.

And then suddenly you realize she got into the club with a fake ID. I've had that happen before :/
~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45003 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-05 01:20:12
November 05 2013 01:19 GMT
#6133
On November 05 2013 06:33 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 05 2013 04:57 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On November 05 2013 04:07 ComaDose wrote:
On November 04 2013 15:06 kaykaykay wrote:
why would you still want to be friends with a girl who rejects you.

for the same reason your friends with all your other friends obviously. you don't have to relationship zone people.


You sure it's not because you're secretly hoping that she'll "come around" and decide at a later time that she wants to be with you?


I'm sure people do that, but surely you don't deny the benefit of having a number of female friends?


Sure, but that's probably because I'm attracted to them and I'm a superficial prick

EDIT: I can control myself though.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-05 12:01:33
November 05 2013 11:58 GMT
#6134
You can have girl friends even ones you're attracted to, it's not that hard to not hit on someone you're attracted but obviously it's at the forefront on your mind that given the chance you would during every conversation you ever have. In my job I work with mostly women so I'm pretty used to having countless friends I'd happily sleep with given the chance.

On November 05 2013 08:07 Impervious wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 05 2013 07:22 Aeroplaneoverthesea wrote:
Half Plus 7 rounded down is solid as it comes. Although as a 25 year I'd say if she old enough to get in the club it's fair game.

And then suddenly you realize she got into the club with a fake ID. I've had that happen before :/


Yeah that's probably happened to me as well but if she tells you she's 18 (imo you should ask with other people around, this is pretty easy to do in a non weird way) and she's in the club then happy hunting.
dongfeng
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
731 Posts
November 05 2013 13:31 GMT
#6135
thanks for the responses guys. will take ur advice onboard :D
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
November 06 2013 22:18 GMT
#6136
Turns out my luck isn't too good, the first girl I asked out turns out to be underage (see a few pages back) and now the next girl I ask out turns out to have a kid.. man I sure know how to pick em. Oh well, that's 2 more girls I've asked out in the past two weeks than I had in the previous year.
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
November 06 2013 22:27 GMT
#6137
On November 07 2013 07:18 Najda wrote:
Turns out my luck isn't too good, the first girl I asked out turns out to be underage (see a few pages back) and now the next girl I ask out turns out to have a kid.. man I sure know how to pick em. Oh well, that's 2 more girls I've asked out in the past two weeks than I had in the previous year.


Just keep at it dude. The more you ask random girls out the easier it becomes and the closer you get to one that's right for you.
Dogfoodboy16
Profile Joined October 2013
364 Posts
November 06 2013 22:31 GMT
#6138
Every girl I ask out says no. I guess they are all doing me a favor...or I am just a unattractive person XD
Shotcoder
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2316 Posts
November 06 2013 22:32 GMT
#6139
What's the issue if she has a kid? I mean I had that issue with a chick but as I got to know her it really wasn't as big of a deal as I made it out to be at th beginning.
Shotcoder - C+ BW Terran, Gold LoL(ADC Main)
Aeroplaneoverthesea
Profile Joined April 2012
United Kingdom1977 Posts
November 06 2013 22:54 GMT
#6140
On November 07 2013 07:31 Dogfoodboy16 wrote:
Every girl I ask out says no. I guess they are all doing me a favor...or I am just a unattractive person XD


You might not be able to change your face but you can change basically everything else about yourself i.e your hair, body, clothes, personality, how you speak etc...

If you're not having any luck with the ladies right now then consider how you can change those things to make yourself more appealing to women.
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