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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46705 Posts
November 04 2013 02:53 GMT
#6081
On November 04 2013 11:46 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 02 2013 07:16 Najda wrote:
Yea it just took me so long because I wanted to wait to have her isolated before I asked her out but I just said fuck it and asked her on facebook since an opportunity was just never going to arise in person. There are a few things I don't know about her/she doesn't know about me that I wanted to clarify before any sort of date happened. I was going to learn those things of her and then ask her out/decide not interested at the end of our day.


Found out she's only 17. Abort mission, gg no re.


How old are you? Is 17 too young for you?
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 02:58:01
November 04 2013 02:56 GMT
#6082
On November 04 2013 11:53 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 11:46 Najda wrote:
On November 02 2013 07:16 Najda wrote:
Yea it just took me so long because I wanted to wait to have her isolated before I asked her out but I just said fuck it and asked her on facebook since an opportunity was just never going to arise in person. There are a few things I don't know about her/she doesn't know about me that I wanted to clarify before any sort of date happened. I was going to learn those things of her and then ask her out/decide not interested at the end of our day.


Found out she's only 17. Abort mission, gg no re.


How old are you? Is 17 too young for you?


I'm 23, I thought she was 19-20.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46705 Posts
November 04 2013 03:01 GMT
#6083
On November 04 2013 11:56 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 11:53 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On November 04 2013 11:46 Najda wrote:
On November 02 2013 07:16 Najda wrote:
Yea it just took me so long because I wanted to wait to have her isolated before I asked her out but I just said fuck it and asked her on facebook since an opportunity was just never going to arise in person. There are a few things I don't know about her/she doesn't know about me that I wanted to clarify before any sort of date happened. I was going to learn those things of her and then ask her out/decide not interested at the end of our day.


Found out she's only 17. Abort mission, gg no re.


How old are you? Is 17 too young for you?


I'm 23, I thought she was 19-20.


Ah, yeah that's definitely pushing it lol
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 03:03:35
November 04 2013 03:02 GMT
#6084
On November 04 2013 12:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 11:56 Najda wrote:
On November 04 2013 11:53 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On November 04 2013 11:46 Najda wrote:
On November 02 2013 07:16 Najda wrote:
Yea it just took me so long because I wanted to wait to have her isolated before I asked her out but I just said fuck it and asked her on facebook since an opportunity was just never going to arise in person. There are a few things I don't know about her/she doesn't know about me that I wanted to clarify before any sort of date happened. I was going to learn those things of her and then ask her out/decide not interested at the end of our day.


Found out she's only 17. Abort mission, gg no re.


How old are you? Is 17 too young for you?


I'm 23, I thought she was 19-20.


Ah, yeah that's definitely pushing it lol


My thoughts were: 20 is fine, 19 is okay, 18 is a highly individual basis, 17 is never.

On a side note, this happens to me way too often because I go to a community college and half the students there are dual enrolled and trying to tell how old a girl is between 17-20 is impossible.
Kojak21
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada1104 Posts
November 04 2013 03:02 GMT
#6085
yeaaah thats just over the edge haha
¯\_(☺)_/¯
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46705 Posts
November 04 2013 03:12 GMT
#6086
On November 04 2013 12:02 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 12:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On November 04 2013 11:56 Najda wrote:
On November 04 2013 11:53 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On November 04 2013 11:46 Najda wrote:
On November 02 2013 07:16 Najda wrote:
Yea it just took me so long because I wanted to wait to have her isolated before I asked her out but I just said fuck it and asked her on facebook since an opportunity was just never going to arise in person. There are a few things I don't know about her/she doesn't know about me that I wanted to clarify before any sort of date happened. I was going to learn those things of her and then ask her out/decide not interested at the end of our day.


Found out she's only 17. Abort mission, gg no re.


How old are you? Is 17 too young for you?


I'm 23, I thought she was 19-20.


Ah, yeah that's definitely pushing it lol


My thoughts were: 20 is fine, 19 is okay, 18 is a highly individual basis, 17 is never.

On a side note, this happens to me way too often because I go to a community college and half the students there are dual enrolled and trying to tell how old a girl is between 17-20 is impossible.


And then she has to be home by midnight or else her license expires... let alone you can't even go out to a bar with her lol
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
sam!zdat
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5559 Posts
November 04 2013 03:23 GMT
#6087
i have the opposite problem. I'm 25, the woman I'm interested in is 29. a little intimidating
shikata ga nai
furymonkey
Profile Joined December 2008
New Zealand1587 Posts
November 04 2013 03:30 GMT
#6088
Only 6 years difference? How is that a problem?
Or is it just particular age group that you don't want to associate with?
Leenock the Punisher
tuho12345
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
4482 Posts
November 04 2013 03:35 GMT
#6089
It's not a problem if both are over 20 or 30. But a 17 y/o girl is still way too young and immature man.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46705 Posts
November 04 2013 03:38 GMT
#6090
On November 04 2013 12:35 tuho12345 wrote:
It's not a problem if both are over 20 or 30. But a 17 y/o girl is still way too young and immature man.


I agree... as you get older, the "allowable" difference in ages between a couple becomes larger and larger. My parents are 9 years apart, which wasn't a big deal when they got married (and certainly not now, when they're in their sixties)... but could you picture a 10th grader dating a 1st grader? lol.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
November 04 2013 03:41 GMT
#6091
It's called the 1/2 + 7 rule. You can date someone at least 1/2 * your age +7. So if you're 14 you can start dating other 14 year olds. If you're 22 you can date 18 year olds or older. The inverse is that you can date someone (Your age - 7) * 2 before it gets weird.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 03:49:37
November 04 2013 03:46 GMT
#6092
On November 04 2013 12:30 furymonkey wrote:
Only 6 years difference? How is that a problem?
Or is it just particular age group that you don't want to associate with?


She's a minor, and she's still in highschool (well, homeschooled, but 12th grade equivolent). The issue with her isn't really maturity since she is definitely more mature than a lot of people my age even, but rather the social stigma attached to the difference in our ages. Maybe in a few years the circumstances will be different, but until then she isn't an option for me.
killa_robot
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada1884 Posts
November 04 2013 03:55 GMT
#6093
On November 04 2013 12:46 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 12:30 furymonkey wrote:
Only 6 years difference? How is that a problem?
Or is it just particular age group that you don't want to associate with?


She's a minor, and she's still in highschool (well, homeschooled, but 12th grade equivolent). The issue with her isn't really maturity since she is definitely more mature than a lot of people my age even, but rather the social stigma attached to the difference in our ages. Maybe in a few years the circumstances will be different, but until then she isn't an option for me.


Do you plan to announce her age to everyone you meet or something? If she's as mature as you claim it shouldn't be noticed.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
November 04 2013 04:25 GMT
#6094
No but it matters to me and from the conversation we had, it sounde like it mattered for her too. There are enough girls out there that I don't need to be pursuing 17 year olds, nor would I want to feel like I had to hide anything about the nature of the relationship.
kaykaykay
Profile Joined July 2012
Singapore637 Posts
November 04 2013 06:06 GMT
#6095
On November 04 2013 04:13 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 04 2013 03:54 QuanticHawk wrote:
On November 03 2013 14:15 Maski wrote:
Okay guys, update on my situation (opening post on page 299):

Tonight at a party, I finally decided to tell her how I feel about her. I know I missed a perfect opportunity last Sunday and reading your feedback made me feel really bad about myself. But it was true. I was a coward and I have to change. So tonight, despite it not being the perfect situation, I finally took the courage to tell her. I wanted to have closure, even though I knew that it's not going to happen. I just couldn't think of anything else the entire week and I had to get this out of my head. She made it pretty easy for me though. I went out on the porch and told my close friend to come get her (obviously did not want to tell her in the kitchen with a thousand people around us). My friend came back and told me that she said she knew and she did not want to talk to me because she did not want to make it awkward. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? It took me a lot of courage to finally express my feelings, and all I get is a "I know but I don't want to make it awkward?". Well, what do you think is going to happen now? I thought I would be sad and desperate, but right now I am just angry and disappointed. I find that to be totally disrespectful towards me. At least dump me in person. I deserve that and not that stupid other way. I hoped that we could be friends after she dumped me, but right now, I really do not want to talk to her. I am just mad and angry.

you werent even dating, stop being a big baby.

also, other than 12 year olds, who goes and has their friend tell someone else 'so and so really likes you!'


I agree, you should have acted interested instead of telling her your interested (especially through a friend). I don't feel like confessing your love ever works, or rather works very rarely, because it shows you like them so very strongly and unless they already feel the same way it will be wierd and she will most likely say no. It's much safer to just start flirting with her more directly and let the feelings build gradually or dissipate with little awkwardness if she rejects the flirting.

You had that opportunity when watchin movies on her bed together, but failed to capitalize. It would have been wise to wait for/create another moment like that, but hindsight is 20/20. Anyway, don't be angry at her, she didn't dump you, you were never together. You two can still be friends, just as long as you still can act normally around her.


why would you still want to be friends with a girl who rejects you.
Starve the ego, feed the soul.
Shotcoder
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2316 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 06:34:33
November 04 2013 06:29 GMT
#6096
So that whole situation with my boss turned south in the sleeping and relationship portion but great in the workplace.

She is attempting to move up in the company so I was trained to do her job and if she gets this job she applied for I am the favorite to take over afterwards.

Relationship wise it's a long story that ends up with me figuring out I was fighting a fight I wasn't going to win anyways. It is what it is, at least when she leaves I get this nice pay bump.

Edit: To go along on this top of the 17 year old, I completely agree. Being 23 myself I have a hard time even thinking 18-20 year old girls as legitimate dating options. Idk why, if I found the right girl i would probably think differently but it just feels weird to me for there to be that gap.
Shotcoder - C+ BW Terran, Gold LoL(ADC Main)
IronManSC
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States2119 Posts
November 04 2013 08:26 GMT
#6097
So over a week ago I posted this:

On October 23 2013 04:10 IronManSC wrote:
On november 2, I'll be proposing to my girlfriend. We're gonna go repelling in the mountains at a 180 ft waterfall. At the bottom will be some GoPro cameras set up (hidden), and i'll have her older brother film it while hiding. When she gets down to the bottom (after I go first), i'll be in the water pond next to the waterfall on one knee :D mabye i'll post the video when the time comes.


Well, she said yes! I'll have more pictures and the video up later this week hopefully, but here is the pic of approval

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


And of course her brothers got a little mad that I proposed...

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Anyways, more later this week :D I promised I would, so I just wanted to let you know ahead of time.
SC2 Mapmaker || twitter: @ironmansc || Ohana & Mech Depot || 3x TLMC finalist || www.twitch.tv/sc2mapstream
gedatsu
Profile Joined December 2011
1286 Posts
November 04 2013 10:00 GMT
#6098
On November 04 2013 17:26 IronManSC wrote:
Well, she said yes!

Congrats, man.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46705 Posts
November 04 2013 10:27 GMT
#6099
On November 04 2013 17:26 IronManSC wrote:
So over a week ago I posted this:

Show nested quote +
On October 23 2013 04:10 IronManSC wrote:
On november 2, I'll be proposing to my girlfriend. We're gonna go repelling in the mountains at a 180 ft waterfall. At the bottom will be some GoPro cameras set up (hidden), and i'll have her older brother film it while hiding. When she gets down to the bottom (after I go first), i'll be in the water pond next to the waterfall on one knee :D mabye i'll post the video when the time comes.


Well, she said yes! I'll have more pictures and the video up later this week hopefully, but here is the pic of approval

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


And of course her brothers got a little mad that I proposed...

+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]


Anyways, more later this week :D I promised I would, so I just wanted to let you know ahead of time.


Congratulations! You guys look cute together

That brothers picture is funny too ^^
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
November 04 2013 10:45 GMT
#6100
I thought the rule was 1/2+5. 26/2+5=18, works for me.
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