TiTaN Fan Club

#3. TitaN

Okay, time to admit a major bias of mine - Eastern Europeans frighten me. I’m not sure why but I think its the accent. For some reason or another, I always seem pretty certain they’re trying to kill me whenever I talk to them. And now that I’ve said that, I’m sure most of them are. You can’t get more Eastern European than the Russians and, to me, Titan is one of the scarier ones. Since Titan is maybe not one of the most well-known players right now, it’s only right to start with a picture of him.



Disclaimer: I dont know much about Titan so everything I say will be based on completely unjustified and unfair speculation, so bear that in mind before you call teams of police and exorcists to Titan’s house.

More than the other contenders on this list, you really have to feel the badassery contained in this guy. Look deep into his fro eyes and feel it. Feel the volcanic eruptions and crashes of tidal waves. Feel the heavily distorted guitars that play while he stands on a mountaintop with a sword. Feel him detach his parachute upon landing in that zoo and slaying every animal with a toothpick and a pack of Post-Its, not because he has to or even because he wants to, but because someone doubted that he can.

Titan, if you see this by some chance, don’t come to me in my dreams and sacrifice me to Raszagal.

Ideal Matchup - Titan vs Elephant

I imagine Titan would come face to face with the elephant, everything would go black for a minute, and then we would suddenly see Titan casually picking food out of his teeth with a tusk.