baller Fan Club - Page 14

On December 01 2010 17:49 baller wrote:
ok so she is in a 5yr relationship but is unhappy. and she found her new soul mate which is u. i only see one real solution 2 ur problem here, and that is u guys must get rid her 5yr boyfriend. this will make u guys bond even more. i have some advice on how to dispose of the body.

u gotta grind the teeth and burn the bfs hands, that will get rid of the fingerprints. make sure the face is melted off bc it makes it harder 2 identify. first u gotta drain the body of fluids 2 make it easier to cut and decompose. use a knife, make cuts on thighs and arteries. pump the chest using cpr methods to get the air out. make sure 2 use a bathtub it will be messy. u can use bleach during the process it helps the cleanup afterward and makes it easier for u guys so u wont retch due to the dead person smell if ur not used to it. u can also burn candles or use baking soda, but bleach + plastic sheet 2 cover it up is best.

now u gotta pick ur disposal way. 2 bury, cut body and bury in many different parts. this way u dont have 2 work so hard 2 dig deep, u can dig shallow holes for stuff like head and legs. u dont want to spend 2 much time outside diggin ppl get suspicious. also if like the part gets discovered its less likely some1 calls the police about it since its just some random part, it might be from a chicken or dog or smth not human. u need a large knife and a hammer to pulverize and fully separate and grind the body parts. make sure u put each part in a different plastic bag with bleach and freeze them, then bury them in different sites. the farther away and more remote the site the better.

another way is 2 grind the body into mulch and feed it down the drain. this is better than burying and sewer bacteria helps it decompose, and will also mask the smell. this is a lot more work though and u might clog ur pipes so dont try this unless u can clear bones/flesh out of ur drain urself, u obv dont want to call a plumber for this. food processor works but if u use it too much it could have problems. wat i would do is remove 1 of the toilets in ur house and use that pipe then use bleach and flush many times. make sure 2 plug the pipe after bc the smells will come back otherwise.

glhf

On November 16 2010 07:14 baller wrote:
u r not giving her enough incentive to come on the date with u. u must make it 100% certain she is coming. instead of asking like a pussy, "will you go out with me??" just make her an offer she cant refuse. "go out with me... or i kill you." no way she can oversleep or do homework over that.

On December 02 2010 18:44 baller wrote:

u should get him a fleshlight. but dont just buy him 1, thats very impersonal. make ur own fleshlight 4 him. first, get 100g of starch, add 200g of water. mix and microwave for 1 minute. after its solid, poke a small hole in the center and microwave another 30 seconds. then, estimate his dick size. if ur not sure, try "accidentally" walking in on him in the shower or checking his computer for naked photos. if ur not sure tighter is better, dont want it to be 2 loose. then refrigerate the custom fleshlight for about 1 hr, then remove it and its ready. if u want 2 include a card and maybe a flash drive with some porn on it, that would be cool also.


u can also get him a fleshlight. see above for instructions on how 2 make one.


hm. probably can't get her a fleshlight. can't think of anything right now, maybe listen 2 other people for gift suggestions 4 her.

User was temp banned for this post.

On December 02 2010 18:44 baller wrote:

u should get him a fleshlight. but dont just buy him 1, thats very impersonal. make ur own fleshlight 4 him. first, get 100g of starch, add 200g of water. mix and microwave for 1 minute. after its solid, poke a small hole in the center and microwave another 30 seconds. then, estimate his dick size. if ur not sure, try "accidentally" walking in on him in the shower or checking his computer for naked photos. if ur not sure tighter is better, dont want it to be 2 loose. then refrigerate the custom fleshlight for about 1 hr, then remove it and its ready. if u want 2 include a card and maybe a flash drive with some porn on it, that would be cool also.


u can also get him a fleshlight. see above for instructions on how 2 make one.


hm. probably can't get her a fleshlight. can't think of anything right now, maybe listen 2 other people for gift suggestions 4 her.

User was temp banned for this post.

On December 16 2010 07:53 baller wrote:
their policy seems a little...

*sunglasses*

...dated