EPTOn June 07 2009 12:21 HeadBangaa wrote:
An Introduction to Boylove
For a man or an older boy to come to terms with his sexual attraction to boys is often difficult – sometimes even traumatic. Most such males have an inner sense of their attractions from their teens or even earlier, but in today's hysterical climate they tend to repress and deny their feelings. The path to self-acceptance varies among individuals; for a few it is short and straightforward, for others it can be long and complex, and for some it is a dead end. But for those who find their way to the light, the moment of self-understanding is only the beginning of the process of learning how to live in a hostile culture, and hopefully to finding fulfilling ways of interacting with the boys to whom they are attracted.
Boylove is a two-way street. Research 1,2 indicates that, beginning in the vicinity of ages 8 to 12, boys go through a stage where their sexual interests are directed toward other males who are their own age, older, and sometimes younger. It is a part of the process of learning about and experiencing their intrinsic sexuality, has been present in every time and culture, and manifests itself openly in cultures where it is not repressed. Research 1,2,3 also indicate that some older boys and adult males have an understanding and empathy for the sexual experimentations and pleasure-seeking of boys, as well as a willingness and desire to join in their activities. Western victimological culture, however, claims either that boys do not have these interests, or that those who do are disturbed and/or delinquent. Older boys and men who cooperate with these seeking boys are seen as predatory psychopaths.
Boylove has an ancient and honorable history. Mentoring with a sexual component was considered essential to a boy's education in ancient Greece; the 19th century philosopher Schopenhauer 4 described boy/older male sexually expressed relationships as being of "universal nature and persistent ineradicability," psychologist Wilhelm Stekel 5 called them "ubiquitous," and psychiatrist Heinz Kohut 6 spoke of his consensual boyhood sexual experiences with his tutor. The current antipathy toward boylove is generally believed to have originated as part of the broad Judaist sexophobia which was hostile to the more open sexuality of other cultures. This was picked up by the fledgling Christian church, amplified as the church gained more and more power and influence, and codified by Augustine, bishop of Hippo, around 400CE. The rights of boys in Western cultures to free exploration and enjoyment of their own sexuality have been repressed to a greater or lesser degree ever since, as have the rights of older males to accept the overtures of boys.
While all boylovers are boy-attracted pedosexual males, the reverse is not necessarily true. An extreme negative example of this is the occasional male who forces himself physically and sexually on an unwilling boy with only his own gratification in mind. At the other end of the spectrum are those who recognize their sexual attraction, but either because they have been brainwashed into believing that their attraction is "wrong," or out of fear of the consequences, limit themselves to strictly platonic contact with boys, or even completely isolate themselves from boys. According to research 7, the majority of boylovers are spread out between these two extremes, with a plurality taking the position that they will not engage is sexual activity unless it is actively solicited or encouraged by the boy. It must be thoroughly understood, however, that such consensuality has no validity in the eyes of the law, and that any such acts that are discovered most likely will lead to jail.
It is not unusual for boylovers to seek sexual satisfaction apart from boys. "Boy erotica" (which some call "child pornography") is perhaps the most common of these substitutions, and is often used as a stimulus for masturbation. Once again, however, it must be emphasized that the downloading or possession of boy erotica is punishable by law in most jurisdictions, so the "sharing" of such materials is foolishly dangerous. Other outlets are the diverse forums and other Internet interactions in which elements of understanding, support, and counsel may – or may not – be present. Most of these stay within the limits of legality, but one must decide which – if any – of these fulfils his needs. Perhaps the ultimate form of support is the building of real life friendships with other males with similar attractions, but here, even more so than in any other venue, extreme caution is necessary. To associate with someone who commits illegal acts, and especially if you are solicited to participate in those acts, is very likely to lead to serious difficulties with the law.
The life of the responsible boylover in our current hysterical society is, to say the least, difficult. Contacts with boys through sanctioned organizations such as Scouting, boys' clubs, etc., are usually not a problem, but if a boy initiates a one-on-one association with an older male friend, discretion and wisdom are strongly advised in order to preclude any suspicions by those who may become aware of the friendship. Research statistics 8 show that there are many millions of men in the US alone who had such boyhood friendships that included a sexual component, most of which were "non-negative," and of which apparently only a minuscule percentage were known to anyone other than the two participants. Boys need older male role models and friendships, and it is up to the responsible boylover who encounters a seeking boy to construct and conduct such a relationship - non-sexual or sexual - so that it is as free as possible from danger or harm, and is beneficial to both the boy and himself.
Notes:
(1) Sandfort, T. (1987). Boys on their contacts with men. Elmhurst, NY: Global Academic.
(2) Wilson, P. (1981). The man they called a monster. North Melbourne, Australia: Cassell
(3) Freund, K. (1970). The structure of erotic preferences in the nondeviant male. Behavior Research and Therapy, 8, 15-20.
(4) Schopenhauer, A. (1819) Die Welt als Wille und Vorstellung [The world as will and representation] pp. 560-567.
(5) Stekel, W. (1922). Psychosexueller Infantilismus (German). English translation: Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism by Emil Gutheil (1952) New York: Liveright.
(6) Strozier, C. (2001) The making of a psychoanalyst. New York: Farrar, Strauss, and Giroux.
(7) Riegel, D. (2007). Motivational and Behavioral Characteristics of Boy-attracted Pedosexual Males. Downloaded December 20, 2008 from http://www.mbcbpm.info
(8) Rind, B., Tromovitch, P., & Bauserman, R. (1998). A meta-analytic examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse. Psychological Bulletin, 124, 22-53.
An Introduction to Boylove
For a man or an older boy to come to terms with his sexual attraction to boys is often difficult – sometimes even traumatic. Most such males have an inner sense of their attractions from their teens or even earlier, but in today's hysterical climate they tend to repress and deny their feelings. The path to self-acceptance varies among individuals; for a few it is short and straightforward, for others it can be long and complex, and for some it is a dead end. But for those who find their way to the light, the moment of self-understanding is only the beginning of the process of learning how to live in a hostile culture, and hopefully to finding fulfilling ways of interacting with the boys to whom they are attracted.
Boylove is a two-way street. Research 1,2 indicates that, beginning in the vicinity of ages 8 to 12, boys go through a stage where their sexual interests are directed toward other males who are their own age, older, and sometimes younger. It is a part of the process of learning about and experiencing their intrinsic sexuality, has been present in every time and culture, and manifests itself openly in cultures where it is not repressed. Research 1,2,3 also indicate that some older boys and adult males have an understanding and empathy for the sexual experimentations and pleasure-seeking of boys, as well as a willingness and desire to join in their activities. Western victimological culture, however, claims either that boys do not have these interests, or that those who do are disturbed and/or delinquent. Older boys and men who cooperate with these seeking boys are seen as predatory psychopaths.
Boylove has an ancient and honorable history. Mentoring with a sexual component was considered essential to a boy's education in ancient Greece; the 19th century philosopher Schopenhauer 4 described boy/older male sexually expressed relationships as being of "universal nature and persistent ineradicability," psychologist Wilhelm Stekel 5 called them "ubiquitous," and psychiatrist Heinz Kohut 6 spoke of his consensual boyhood sexual experiences with his tutor. The current antipathy toward boylove is generally believed to have originated as part of the broad Judaist sexophobia which was hostile to the more open sexuality of other cultures. This was picked up by the fledgling Christian church, amplified as the church gained more and more power and influence, and codified by Augustine, bishop of Hippo, around 400CE. The rights of boys in Western cultures to free exploration and enjoyment of their own sexuality have been repressed to a greater or lesser degree ever since, as have the rights of older males to accept the overtures of boys.
While all boylovers are boy-attracted pedosexual males, the reverse is not necessarily true. An extreme negative example of this is the occasional male who forces himself physically and sexually on an unwilling boy with only his own gratification in mind. At the other end of the spectrum are those who recognize their sexual attraction, but either because they have been brainwashed into believing that their attraction is "wrong," or out of fear of the consequences, limit themselves to strictly platonic contact with boys, or even completely isolate themselves from boys. According to research 7, the majority of boylovers are spread out between these two extremes, with a plurality taking the position that they will not engage is sexual activity unless it is actively solicited or encouraged by the boy. It must be thoroughly understood, however, that such consensuality has no validity in the eyes of the law, and that any such acts that are discovered most likely will lead to jail.
It is not unusual for boylovers to seek sexual satisfaction apart from boys. "Boy erotica" (which some call "child pornography") is perhaps the most common of these substitutions, and is often used as a stimulus for masturbation. Once again, however, it must be emphasized that the downloading or possession of boy erotica is punishable by law in most jurisdictions, so the "sharing" of such materials is foolishly dangerous. Other outlets are the diverse forums and other Internet interactions in which elements of understanding, support, and counsel may – or may not – be present. Most of these stay within the limits of legality, but one must decide which – if any – of these fulfils his needs. Perhaps the ultimate form of support is the building of real life friendships with other males with similar attractions, but here, even more so than in any other venue, extreme caution is necessary. To associate with someone who commits illegal acts, and especially if you are solicited to participate in those acts, is very likely to lead to serious difficulties with the law.
The life of the responsible boylover in our current hysterical society is, to say the least, difficult. Contacts with boys through sanctioned organizations such as Scouting, boys' clubs, etc., are usually not a problem, but if a boy initiates a one-on-one association with an older male friend, discretion and wisdom are strongly advised in order to preclude any suspicions by those who may become aware of the friendship. Research statistics 8 show that there are many millions of men in the US alone who had such boyhood friendships that included a sexual component, most of which were "non-negative," and of which apparently only a minuscule percentage were known to anyone other than the two participants. Boys need older male role models and friendships, and it is up to the responsible boylover who encounters a seeking boy to construct and conduct such a relationship - non-sexual or sexual - so that it is as free as possible from danger or harm, and is beneficial to both the boy and himself.
Notes:
(1) Sandfort, T. (1987). Boys on their contacts with men. Elmhurst, NY: Global Academic.
(2) Wilson, P. (1981). The man they called a monster. North Melbourne, Australia: Cassell
(3) Freund, K. (1970). The structure of erotic preferences in the nondeviant male. Behavior Research and Therapy, 8, 15-20.
(4) Schopenhauer, A. (1819) Die Welt als Wille und Vorstellung [The world as will and representation] pp. 560-567.
(5) Stekel, W. (1922). Psychosexueller Infantilismus (German). English translation: Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism by Emil Gutheil (1952) New York: Liveright.
(6) Strozier, C. (2001) The making of a psychoanalyst. New York: Farrar, Strauss, and Giroux.
(7) Riegel, D. (2007). Motivational and Behavioral Characteristics of Boy-attracted Pedosexual Males. Downloaded December 20, 2008 from http://www.mbcbpm.info
(8) Rind, B., Tromovitch, P., & Bauserman, R. (1998). A meta-analytic examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse. Psychological Bulletin, 124, 22-53.
It's alright, man. We won't think any less of you if you come out of the closet.
