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Starcraft 2 joke/pun thread

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clazerxsniper
Profile Joined August 2011
36 Posts
June 25 2012 06:45 GMT
#1
Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own

This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread.

Here are some to start us off

1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking

2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast

3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD

4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!!

5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies

6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser

7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.)

8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO

9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-

10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran

11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed

12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ

13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI-

14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O

15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk

16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"

17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy

18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal

19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars

20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling....

21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots

22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield

23.ultralisks? more like minilisks

24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building

25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy"

26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.

27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high

28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!

29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!

30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs

31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless

32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost
had*

33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack

34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you

35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions

36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine!
and drops a mule

37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here?

38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!"

39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it?
stalker

40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot?

41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say?
Care to give me a lift?

42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter

43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there
44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.

45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius

46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!

47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?

48.A collosus walks into a bar.

49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.

50. What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard? marines on stim

51. Why did the mother ship vortex all of the protoss units?
It didn't recall

52. What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed?
the "creep" highway!

53. whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!

54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!

55. A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his

mothership and initiated a

factory recall
jnkw
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada347 Posts
June 25 2012 06:48 GMT
#2
I'm sorry but these jokes are really, really, really horrible.

Also, a thread already exists for Starcraft-related jokes: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=246900
clazerxsniper
Profile Joined August 2011
36 Posts
June 25 2012 06:52 GMT
#3
On June 25 2012 15:48 jnkw wrote:
I'm sorry but these jokes are really, really, really horrible.

Also, a thread already exists for Starcraft-related jokes: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=246900


Sorry, no need to insult me. My taste in jokes is much different than yours. No reason to be mean just looking to have some fun here.
Typhon
Profile Joined July 2009
United States387 Posts
June 25 2012 06:52 GMT
#4
It's actually impressive how not funny some of these are. It must be some kind reverse-talent.
Opera
Profile Joined March 2011
France469 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-25 06:55:23
June 25 2012 06:52 GMT
#5
Heard in a Day9 daily and still the best SC2 joke so far :

A Zealot walks into a bar/brothel and tells the bartender : "My wife for hire !"
The bartender thinks for a second and answers : "I don't know man. Does she charge a lot ?"

Sorry to have to tell you that but most of your jokes are terrible. You just try to get a to punchline without any foreplay whatsoever. I think you could have posted only a quarter of those jokes if you filtered the not funny ones.
It ain't over till it's over
Rimak
Profile Joined January 2012
Denmark434 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-25 06:54:43
June 25 2012 06:53 GMT
#6
OMG IT's so hillarious AHAHAHAH!!!
+ Show Spoiler +
not


+ Show Spoiler +
The real jokes thread is here:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=246900
2000 Jungler 66% Hecarim, 63% Volibear, 60% Jarvan IV
Obsi
Profile Joined June 2011
87 Posts
June 25 2012 06:56 GMT
#7
wow... I didnt see any insult there but unfortunately I have to agreee with jnkw about the quality of these jokes :/
and this is neither an insult nor any other personal thing.
Wait what.
Vestrel
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Canada271 Posts
June 25 2012 06:57 GMT
#8
You have an interesting sense of humour
jcroisdale
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States1543 Posts
June 25 2012 06:59 GMT
#9
There not jokes, there more like lines of a poem.
"I think bringing a toddler to a movie theater is a terrible idea. They are too young to understand what is happening it would be like giving your toddler acid. Bad idea." - Sinensis
cmcnutt34
Profile Joined June 2012
United States43 Posts
June 25 2012 07:00 GMT
#10
these weren't funny whatsoever.
myRZeth
Profile Joined June 2011
Germany1047 Posts
June 25 2012 07:02 GMT
#11
sorry not funny..
brachester
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia1786 Posts
June 25 2012 07:02 GMT
#12
Your sense of humour is funny.
I hate all this singing
RolleMcKnolle
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Germany1054 Posts
June 25 2012 07:03 GMT
#13
what the hell. How is that possible? You really got a weird sense of humour, bro...
-Kaiser-
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
Canada932 Posts
June 25 2012 07:05 GMT
#14
This thread is the best joke.
3 Hatch Before Cool
justindab0mb
Profile Joined October 2010
United States213 Posts
June 25 2012 07:05 GMT
#15
I can't tell if I'm being trolled
"Hi there! I'm a big fan of all-ins, and I also play Terran"
pieisamazing
Profile Joined May 2009
United States1234 Posts
June 25 2012 07:06 GMT
#16
Is this thread itself supposed to be a joke?
connoisseur
brachester
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia1786 Posts
June 25 2012 07:08 GMT
#17
On June 25 2012 16:06 pieisamazing wrote:
Is this thread itself supposed to be a joke?

jokeception :O
I hate all this singing
Weson
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Iceland1032 Posts
June 25 2012 07:09 GMT
#18
I'm confused. You have a really wierd sence of humor. I hope not your biggest dream is becoming a comedian. I dont mean this as an inslut.
"!@€#" - as some guy said
Infernal_dream
Profile Joined September 2011
United States2359 Posts
June 25 2012 07:10 GMT
#19
These are just really bad. I don't understand. Half of them don't even make sense. There's so many emoticons I felt like I was reading a chatlog from a teenage girl on AIM.
AC3
Profile Joined April 2006
Canada337 Posts
June 25 2012 07:12 GMT
#20
On June 25 2012 16:05 justindab0mb wrote:
I can't tell if I'm being trolled

I think the OP has to be a troll... These "jokes" are so terrible and poorly executed its hilarious.

19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars

???
"The idea is to try to give all of the information to help others to judge the value of your contribution; not just the information that leads to judgment in one particular direction or another" -- Richard Feynman
DawN883
Profile Joined November 2011
Sweden558 Posts
June 25 2012 07:14 GMT
#21
On June 25 2012 15:45 clazerxsniper wrote:
16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"



User was warned for this post
If the dead are not raised, Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die
Mrvoodoochild1
Profile Joined June 2011
United States1439 Posts
June 25 2012 07:15 GMT
#22
These jokes are pretty tasteless, sorry.
"let your freak flag fly"
RoachCoach
Profile Joined September 2011
Netherlands58 Posts
June 25 2012 07:15 GMT
#23
lol

User was warned for this post
It is time! - Yes! - Nestea walks over. Lightballs pop. Women faint, Men faint, things fall from the ceiling. - Stars explode. - Thats right. Black holes are made. - THIS STUPID GODDAMN NERDS! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7KD6L23MUQ
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5725 Posts
June 25 2012 07:15 GMT
#24
thanks for sharing. now i know that there ARE people out there with such an interesting sense of humor.
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
13JackaL
Profile Joined March 2011
United States577 Posts
June 25 2012 07:17 GMT
#25
the funniest part of this thread is the OP

what a neat joke!
and my axe
Brutaxilos
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States2633 Posts
June 25 2012 07:18 GMT
#26
Just wondering, are you <10 years old? I really don't hope I offended you but these are the sort of jokes I made when I was like 7.
Jangbi favorite player. Forever~ CJ herO the King of IEM. BOMBERRRRRRRR. Sexy Boy Rogue. soO #1! Oliveira China Represent!
Gamegene
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States8308 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-25 07:19:48
June 25 2012 07:19 GMT
#27
there aren't a lot of SC jokes that aren't puns/unfunny.

+ Show Spoiler +
zerg
+ Show Spoiler +
Kidding

Throw on your favorite jacket and you're good to roll. Stroll through the trees and let your miseries go.
Weson
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
Iceland1032 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-25 07:22:13
June 25 2012 07:19 GMT
#28
What do you call a thirsty Hydralisk? + Show Spoiler +
Dehydralisk
...
"!@€#" - as some guy said
biology]major
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States2253 Posts
June 25 2012 07:20 GMT
#29
54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!

...
Question.?
MentalGNT
Profile Joined January 2011
Denmark1264 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-25 07:22:50
June 25 2012 07:20 GMT
#30
What is this lol

Sorry man, but these probably don't even qualify as jokes.

Edit: just noticed that many of these complain about balance. Such a clever Zerg <3
What a player
EMIYA
Profile Joined March 2011
United States433 Posts
June 25 2012 07:23 GMT
#31
i lost some braincells and i only read the last few ones and some of the quoted replies.

sigh
DawN883
Profile Joined November 2011
Sweden558 Posts
June 25 2012 07:23 GMT
#32
On June 25 2012 16:20 MentalGNT wrote:
What is this lol

Sorry man, but these probably don't even qualify as jokes.

Edit: just noticed that many of these complain about balance. Such a clever Zerg <3


I also thought he was a zerg

If the dead are not raised, Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die
Rinny
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States616 Posts
June 25 2012 07:24 GMT
#33
10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran

27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high

I like these jokes because of their mature, sexual+drugs content.
Where my swarm at? Ye Yeee
neoghaleon55
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States7435 Posts
June 25 2012 07:24 GMT
#34
I tried to like them, I really did...
*sigh
moo...for DRG
Rinny
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States616 Posts
June 25 2012 07:26 GMT
#35
your mothership is such a slut
Where my swarm at? Ye Yeee
Rinny
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States616 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-25 07:28:46
June 25 2012 07:27 GMT
#36
15.why do banelings roll?

A: because they r so drunk

This one actually made me laugh out loud, i dont thinjk it would have outside of the content. if you read the whole list some of them pop out at you.
Where my swarm at? Ye Yeee
Lapig
Profile Joined June 2011
United States4 Posts
June 25 2012 07:30 GMT
#37
These are amazing, fuck the haters, i'll be anxiously waiting for updates
Irave
Profile Joined October 2010
United States9965 Posts
June 25 2012 07:32 GMT
#38
I laughed at a few of them. Thanks for sharing them with us.
Nekovivie
Profile Joined October 2011
United Kingdom2599 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-06-25 07:34:57
June 25 2012 07:33 GMT
#39
Wow, these are horrible.

edit:

Nevermind, this saved the thread:

On June 25 2012 16:19 Weson wrote:
What do you call a thirsty Hydralisk? + Show Spoiler +
Dehydralisk
...

If you are not supporting K-Pop you are hurting E-Sports.
LuckyMacro
Profile Joined July 2010
United States1482 Posts
June 25 2012 07:34 GMT
#40
grand master for effort. eh.
Nyovne
Profile Joined March 2006
Netherlands19141 Posts
June 25 2012 07:39 GMT
#41
Yeah this topic isn;t going anywhere. Especially with a topic already in existance. Terrible replies btw zzzz.
ModeratorFor remember, that in the end, some are born to live, others born to die. I belong to those last, born to burn, born to cry. For I shall remain alone... forsaken.
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