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Are you a nerd?
Are you a slob?
Do you have a girly screen name on Team Liquid?
If you answered any of these questions, there's only one thing can salvage your life
BUFFCRAFT! HUAH!
You see, I know a lotta y'all wanna spread the word of e-sports, but how you gonna get taken seriously if you look like the sterotypical gaming nerd. Y'aint, t's how.
In order for our fandom to be taken seriously by today's materialist culture, we must be more than devoted, funny, and all around cool people. The Starcraft 2 fandom must be known o'er the land as the fandom with the
ROCK!
HARD!
ABS!
Huah!
![[image loading]](http://i842.photobucket.com/albums/zz346/OHRMomoka/warrior.jpg) Rules
When you're a real man (or real woman, as they case may be. Muscles are not a patriarchy, they're a pec-riachry), you make your own rules. Here's what they are:
1. You gotta ladder, bro. How you gonna be taken serious as a Starcraft 2 player if you don't ladder. That's common sense.
2. When you win a game, reward yourself by doing a manly act of your choice. Flex! Punch something! Headbutt a tree! What matters is that you stay pumped
3. But when you LOOOOOSE, that's when you need to earn back the right to play.
3a. If you lose a macro game, you need to do 10 crunches OR 10 jumping jacks OR ten push-ups
3b. If you lose to cheese, you need to do 25 crunches, jumping jacks, OR push-ups
3c. If you yourself are the cheeser and still you lose, you must do 30 crunches, jumping jacks, or push-ups
4. After payin' your dues, you can rest if you feel you feel you need to. Play when you're ready, don't actually hurt yourself. We don't judge you...out loud.
5. If you wanna keep track of your weight-loss and share the results with the thread, fucking go for it, bro. If you want to keep it to yourself, that is also dude. The goal is self-improvement through self-indudement.
6. Buffcraft is not a substitute for an actual exercise regime. I'm not a doctah. Go see one before starting this program if you feel the need, due a medical condition, pregnancy, or anything like that.
Remember, the most important rule is to get a little healthier and manlier (or womanlier!) while having fun playing Starcraft 2. Anything in accordance with that rule is not only allowed, but encouraged. You think you can have more fun adding "flex and then yell" at 50 food in your build order. Fucking do it. You wanna ladder dressed as David Coverdale from the band Whitesnake? Huah!
And if you get flex and crunch your way to Masters, then you're just goddamn winning at everything.
EDITED:
A lot of y'all in the thread thing that the Buffcraft regime is insufficiently masculine. I'm proud of you for recognizing that more can be done. You wanna participate, and you think you can handle MORE than the vanilla pansy-ass version of Buffcraft. Post your alternative regimen in the thread, and keep us updated as you step up further. But remember, lying causes your secondary sexual organs to shrink to the size of raisins. And nobody likes raisins.
Ribbon
Win: Having crushed my enemy and seeing him driven before me, I imagine the lamentations of his women.
Lose a macro game: 25 crunches. 25 jumping jacks
Lose to cheese: 25 crunches, 25 jumping jacks, 10 push-ups
Fail at committing cheese: 25 crunches, 25 jumping jacks, 20 push-ups. However, Ribbon does not cheese, and thus never has to face this punishment.
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This is an awesome idea! Sign me up :D
To be fair though, I already take breaks after games (loses/wins) to exercise.
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Fucking awesome idea for a thread. This has been just awesome enough to cause me to take part! +1 for the Buffcraft fandom!
HUAH.
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If I lose I generally prefer to eat some chips, drink some non-diet soda, than smoke a cigarette, but I guess I could give working out a try.
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Great thread! I'm gonna do this when I ladder today
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This could actually be pretty useful! :D
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Huah! genius idea. I need to work out anyways, Starcraft has been taking up all my time
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I think the jumping jack penalty should be greater than the crunches and crunches should be greater than push-ups. I mean lets be honest, 10 jumping jacks or 10 crunches aren't really going to do anything 
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I do this to take out my anger at losing. ^^
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Yess i wanna get buff! too much sc in my life haha
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Headbutt a tree!
GODLIKE !
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I'm so doing this. I used to be boss at pushups but now I can't do them for crap. And it will be 25 pushups/crunches minimum. 10 is for pansies.
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Awesome! I generally did this over break since I was pigging out. If I won a game, I did 15. If I lost, I did 20. If I tried to cheese and fail, I repped out.
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so good :D
reading this starts off my day in a good way
HUAAAH
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7. Punch your mom when she tells you to stop playing. HUAH!
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just fyi, you wont lose (much) weight or get a six pack by doing crunches :p
gl to all of you though!
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I support this movement. Time to go lose to some cheese just so I can do thirty crunches and pushups (or at least that's my excuse).
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this is a great idea, not gonna get you in shape, but definately a fun idea, instead of drinking games while playing, I'll workout 
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This seems like a very good idea. BUFFCRAFT
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lols, every time I lose I might actually do this instead of slamming my fist on the desk :o!
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I'm going to be both tired physically and mentally D:
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This is good. However, a better way to develop arm strength is to do at least one set of your best at lifting weights a day. You should do this if you lose three times in a row :p.
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Who else thought this said "buttcraft"?
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I will commit myself to this. I pledge to be a hunk of rock hard gaming man muscle
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France1887 Posts
After seeing the first picture and reading the first lines, I was thinking, "Another garbage thread!"
But the end really saved it for me, lol.
I don't know if I want to headbutt a tree though! Good job!
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I was laughing the whole time reading this, prolly going to start doing it. lmaoo
HUAH!
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I am in. With the way I have been playing lately I will be ripped in no time.
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An unexpected but actually kind of awesome kind effect of this is that I went on an winning streak immediately after posting, and starting getting annoyed by it, so I was actually a little bit happy when I lost, because I got to do the 25 crunches I'd been pumped for :D
If you think the numbers are too low, you're free to increase them as appropriate. I imagine if I get in shape I'll be doing 20 loss/50 loss to cheese instead of 10/25. Pick a number that's enough to be challenging for you. The numbers I posted are kind of a floor. They're for the boys, not the men (or the girls, not the women. Sexist flexing isn't cool, kids. It's not cool the way drugs aren't cool)
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considering how much i play and how bad I am at stopping cheese, I'm probably gonna look like the pic in the OP if i stick to this
On July 04 2011 16:44 Stropheum wrote:
Who else thought this said "buttcraft"?
Who else just imagined TotalBiscuit saying "Welcome to Buttcraaaaaaaaaft!"
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No "Can you feel it, Hulk Hogan?" jokes? We fail!
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Is there a good Build Order to maximize crunches? Also, i bet cruncher will be joining us for this .
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![[image loading]](http://www.ebodybuilding.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/ronnie-coleman2.jpg)
I lose a lot.
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I'm jumping on board, after last nite of 4 consecutive losses I need to put myself through pain to claw myself back up!
CAN YOU FEEL THE PAIN!?!!
(Extra for me as a Z player:
Lose to Zerg: 10 extra Jacks
Lose to protoss: 10 extra pushups
Lose to Terran: 20 minute run
)
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lol
i used to do this with pushups in wgtour ladder @ bw a long time ago.
worked really well for not losing and increasing bodily shape..
mb imma do that again if i start laddering much again^^
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On July 04 2011 16:17 Indrium wrote:
I do this to take out my anger at losing. ^^
^
If you have a very frustrating loss, it's better to channel your anger into some pushups than just signing up for a new game, lose that one, and keep up the vicious circle.
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Be a Real Man! When your favorite player/team looses instead of being lame and posting an sad face  go out, shatter windows of Shops and Burn cop cars!
For maximum manliness do this while drinking Mountain Dew and shouting at full capacity of your lung. Huah!
+ Show Spoiler +May cause head injury, hand burns, glass splinters in eyes and an serious ass kicking by police.
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wow that idea is so great
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Just remeber to eat your oatz boys
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On July 04 2011 16:43 edc wrote:
This is good. However, a better way to develop arm strength is to do at least one set of your best at lifting weights a day. You should do this if you lose three times in a row :p.
Well, push-ups work mainly your chest with less focus on your shoulders, triceps and to a certain extent biceps. You should be more specific and name an exercise when giving advice on increasing "arm strength". "One set of your best at lifting weights" is vague and confusing. And in which part of your arm are you trying to develop strength? I doubt there are many exercises that work your entire arm.
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Sounds like a good idea, but doesn't help me a lot cause I never lose ever.
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i just won 6 games in a row. TIME TO GO THE GYM BITCHES.
HUAH
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On July 04 2011 18:47 Bswhunter wrote:
Just remeber to eat your oatz boys
wasnt it squat more? :D
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this is actually a good idea... physical discipline xD
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Got thumbs up from me too, lol, nice idea xD
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I once had this idea I had to masturbate each time I lost, but then it got all sore and started to flass, so gave that idea up pretty quickly.
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before starcraft 2 i procrastinated working out by playing video games
i now find myself procrastinating laddering by working out, cleaning, even doing homework O_O
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I had the same idea a few years back to do a few exercises whenever I died in Counterstrike Source. It turned out that
1) The game was too fast for that and the next round started too quickly to do much in between
2) Your mouse and keyboard control isn't too hot right after training your arms.
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Hahaha this is great. I want to do it when I get back to the US!
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looking forward to the day when laddering on starcraft is as manly of a choice as going to the gym
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Awesome! I think I will give it a try in August, when I have finally time to play more than a game a day again! it's a nice combination of small work-out sessions and the (almost) best thing in the world - StarCraft.
1. Losing
2. Crunches/Push-Ups
3. Analyze Replay why you lost (while heart-beat and body in general calm again)
Huah!
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For some weird reason, I really want Incontrol to join this =)
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Hahaha. I love "you make your own rules! Here they are:"
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haha this thread is full of win. Gonna do it to get me to diamond
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Should make this as habit except the win celebration you suggested.
Seriously.
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I will be a manly man and do this!
I will be so ripped! /flex!
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I read the OP in Randy Savages voice, and then saw The Warrior.
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nice blog. I would rate it 3,5 out of 5 if it were in the correct section
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I already do this and its getting kind of pointless. I mean, how many black eyes can you physically give your girlfriend?
in all seriousness, although its written up strangley, its a good idea. Praising yourself after winning is really important imo, but i dont think beating yourself up after a loss is good. Just knowing what lost you the game is enough to know not to do it again
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Nice read, great idea.... I'm in!
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ahahahuah!
I headbutt a tree to celebrate victory!
I got stardeezed with buffcraft!
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The punishment is quite light still!
Do 30 crunches, 20 bodyweight squats, 15 push-ups, 10 dips, 5 pull-ups and 1m30s of plank!
I bet this is why Deezer and CombatEX are so 'manly', rofl!
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Great idea. I start tonight !
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I already do this haha. Well, at least the exercise-thingies, not the headbutting trees.
I find that it´s great to just do some pushups after a game and think about why you lost/why you won.
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Oh god, I'm laughing hard here >_>
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i can't stop ... laughing. thank you!
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iNcontrols secret is out! I'd so totally do this if I was an active player.
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I lol'd at pregnancy. Never imagined a pregnant woman playing SC2 ahaha.
OT: Awesome idea, i might make it a little more intense but I could see myself doing this to add into my weekly routine.
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I'm a double your requirements. I do 200 push ups a day -_- and thats just my morning wake up routine.
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I've been doing something like this for a while.
After a few games do some quick pylometrics, push ups, crunches, star jumps (my neighbors hate these).
I feel a ton better, while I'm not crazy buff or anything it definitely makes me feel like I'm not slobbing out all day.
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I'm gonna do this! <3 <3 <3
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Canada13389 Posts
Haha! so funny I think this is pretty hilarious. Plus its a way to get some more excercise in for the day.
8. Tell others about BUFFCRAFT and get'em on the BUFFCRAFTIN train!
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haha awesome, I think I'll participate.
As I play quite a lot of games every day, this may really keep me in shape overtime... lol
Interesting idea good sir.
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This requires a playlist with manly music to play when you ladder.
Fix it.
Now.
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I challenge Incontrol to do this while streaming ^^
especially headbutting a tree!
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what if youre already buff?
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I've been doing this for a long time now, actually.
I only do exercises when I lose (happens often enough -_-)
Protoss is Dumbell Flys/Bench Press
Terran is Weighted Pushups
Zerg is a weighted crunches
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LOL this is awesome. I think I'm actually going to do this when I can play Sc2 again.
I need to figure out how to incorporate the HUAH!'s into my sessions as well. Perhaps yell it whenever I stim?
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tires my arms to fast making me lose even more :D
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On July 04 2011 16:28 Zafrumi wrote:
just fyi, you wont lose (much) weight or get a six pack by doing crunches :p
gl to all of you though!
Indeed, should be more like 10min jogging for each game you lost on the next day.
But yeah, great idea. ^^
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I've broken my hand in seven places from punching the wall too many times.
"Buffcraft!" will be hearing from my lawyers shortly.
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Within two days of starting buffcraft, I have hair on my chest.
Not even fucking joking. I didn't last week. Now I do. God only knows how, and it's freaking me out slightly.
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Haha. Awesome. The only issue is that I would be so sore from the amount that I lose...oh well. =)
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51481 Posts
lol man imagine a 10 loss streak 0.O not cool xD
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Haha very funny and nice!! Thumbs up I'll defnitely give it a try lol
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On July 05 2011 00:36 Sarang wrote:
LOL this is awesome. I think I'm actually going to do this when I can play Sc2 again.
I need to figure out how to incorporate the HUAH!'s into my sessions as well. Perhaps yell it whenever I stim?
definitely gonna want to just go off on a good spree pretty much the whole time you are in combat
"Huah, Huah, Huah, Huah, !! (stim)huahhuahhuah !!"
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I'am going to be Mr.Universe in NO TIME! :D
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On July 05 2011 20:55 Morta wrote:
I'am going to be Mr.Universe in NO TIME! :D
lolz Maybe Arnold did that in the pre-pre-pre-pre-alpha stage of brood war
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Been simply using replays as an exercise aid for months. Download a bunch of replays. Load it and select spectator camera (by pressing 3,4,5...). Now just grab dumbbell and start pumping. Longer replays are obviously better for this (Hint: search for GoOdy).
Only other game that allowed auto follow of spec cam was War-III and to some extent auto-camera of CoH.
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What happens if you lose to a one or two base all in? That's not really cheese but it's not really a macro game either.
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awesome thread!
Next TL meet up will be manly!
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Starting this tonight, I hope it goes as I'm expecting.
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I actually run a km on the treadmill for every loss. I might add this too!
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Was this thread just a subliminal way to get all the fatties to stop whining about cheese? and to prevent people from doing cheese at the risk of extra situps?
hmm?
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hahaha good stuff. Couldn't hurt
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Too bad i'm forced to do some `buffcraft` because of my carpal tunnel
Besides buffcrafting i also do some jugglecrafting, quite effective against painful wrist!
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On July 06 2011 01:55 Slaytilost wrote:Too bad i'm forced to do some `buffcraft` because of my carpal tunnel Besides buffcrafting i also do some jugglecrafting, quite effective against painful wrist!
Yeah you could like do crunches man. That shouldnt be too hard on your wrists and you could also do like wrist exercises and stuff
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I will be following this regiment for Ladder Season 3!
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I was actually planning to do this today! Haha, good job.
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essentially when you lose hurt yourself, and when you lose to cheese hurt yourself even more to condition yourself into winning. I could see why hurting yourself when losing to cheese could work lol.
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EPIC! <3
And doing it right now!
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i think i would be tired as hell if i overcommited to this especially losing to cheese one. xD play and workout sensibily kids!
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I used to keep a 20 pound dumbbell next to me when I played cs. It was great for the rounds that ended a little too quickly.
I support the buff craft movement!
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Haha Epic! I'm actually going to start doing this XD
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I actually did push-ups when I lost.
din't last long though :s
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I am ripped already so no need
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Well this might hurt your muscles if you don't warm up before hand so just a warning to anyone that does this. Really great way to encourage the sc2 community to stay active however.
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I'll be the Hulk in no time... I always lose...
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Haha this is fun, awesome idea. Reminds me of a summer where I played copious amounts of Gears of War and Halo 3 and while I was finding a match I'd do squats and push-ups to give myself the excuse that I was in fact exercising while playing video games so it was justifiable.
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On July 04 2011 15:08 Ribbon wrote:
[
Are you a nerd?
Are you a slob?
Do you have a girly screen name on Team Liquid?
If you answered any of these questions, there's only one thing can salvage your life
It is ok man, with this workout game system, know one will notice your name anymore!
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Doing jumping jacks instead of crunches/pushups is just a cop out. Make it so you have to do three times the amount of jumping jacks than crunches/pushups.
Tsk tsk.
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Clearly, you stole this from Incontrol =oP
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This is awesome :D HUAAAH!
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I actually might do this.
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Hahaha, chea boiiii. If I wasn't already SHREDDED I'd get on this
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I def do this! But good idea to get the masses going
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TL could really use a fitness club. Although I'm not the right guy to organize it.
Edit: Oh shit nvm found it!
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This is genius !
I bet u coached Nada and the recently buff Idra :o
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Oh my lord, SIGN ME UP! I'm in it to win it!
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Push-ups and crunches are to working out as random team games are to getting good at StarCraft.
They'll only do you good if you are completely untrained, and too much will just set you back.
Once you've trained for a bit, instead of crunches, jumping jacks and push-ups, make it:
Chin-ups
Handstand push-ups against the wall
L-sit for time
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I bent my nails doing your exercises! *cry in extremely manly fashion*
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GGGRAAAHH- Tree-headbutting time!!!!
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Need some people to start streaming this stuff!
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On July 06 2011 12:52 svefnleysi wrote:
Push-ups and crunches are to working out as random team games are to getting good at StarCraft.
They'll only do you good if you are completely untrained, and too much will just set you back.
Once you've trained for a bit, instead of crunches, jumping jacks and push-ups, make it:
Chin-ups
Handstand push-ups against the wall
L-sit for time
I'm starting to increase my own regimen a bit. I'm up to 25 crunches for a regular loss, and 25 crunches and ten push-ups for a cheese. I might add in 25 jumping jacks (25 crunch, 10 push-up, 25 jacks) for losing like a moron, because I feel silly doing jumping jacks and it's a good punishment for a silly loss.
Once you're in the habit of doing a little, it's actually not that hard to get in the habit of doing a little more. I think it's because the crunches are easy once you get used to them, so you want to add more to have it still feel like work.
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After losing many games next season I will be the LiquidHulk. Be prepared kennigit and hot bid.
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I'm definitely doing this!
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Definitely didn't know there was an 8 page thread named after me
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You had me at:5. If you wanna keep track of your weight-loss and share the results with the thread, fucking go for it, bro. If you want to keep it to yourself, that is also dude. The goal is self-improvement through self-indudement. I'm totally in!
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This thread has captured my MANLY heart.
+1!!
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Tip for others participating.
Even though it may be harder, doing pushups on your knuckles has benefits to just doing them on your hands. Regular pushups do more for your shoulders but pushups on your knuckles helps strengthen your forearms and wrists. (Helpful for those long laddering sessions)
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I've been coming up with with Arnold style one-liners to say after I win. Though when I barely defend against some cheese, I usually end up just yelling "NOT IN MY HOUSSSSSE!"
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On July 04 2011 16:20 NExt wrote:GODLIKE !
GODMODE ACHIEVED *bumbs*
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I looked at the title of the thread and had one idea
Came into the thread and got a completely different idea.
I'm totally gonna do this 
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if it was manly to swoon, i'd be swooning. in that case i am inspired to ladder more. and if this could somehow be auto linked and referenced anytime someone creates a thread "i'm to afraid to ladder, what do you guys do" i'd be eternally happy. So
win = slam the shit out of my GG button
lose= slam the shit out of my body.
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RAGHHHHHHHHHH!!
BUFFCRAFT MAKES ME HARD LIKE WHEN I SEE WOMAN!! Buffcraft makes me honest like how woman wants me. DO BUFFCRAFT, I do.
Warning: Losing while cheesing speeds the process of buffing, but lowers morale, not recommended.
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This is so epic. Someone needs to make a video diary BROHAN style!
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On July 13 2011 08:30 Lobotomist wrote:
I've been coming up with with Arnold style one-liners to say after I win. Though when I barely defend against some cheese, I usually end up just yelling "NOT IN MY HOUSSSSSE!"
Q. What does Mister Freeze say when his SC2 game lags?
A. "Chill out!"
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On July 13 2011 09:58 Ribbon wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2011 08:30 Lobotomist wrote:
I've been coming up with with Arnold style one-liners to say after I win. Though when I barely defend against some cheese, I usually end up just yelling "NOT IN MY HOUSSSSSE!" Q. What does Mister Freeze say when his SC2 game lags? A. "Chill out!" Here's some gettin pumped inspiration
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Abs are for people with good genetics, and who conscientiously try to create and maintain a low bodyfat. Powerlifting is for the real men ;D
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Or just hit the gym, wow.
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On July 09 2011 13:46 ButtCraft wrote:
Definitely didn't know there was an 8 page thread named after me
Close, butt no cigar.
Season 3: Buffcraft.
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After an hour or two of Starcraft, I realized that I hadn't done my loss exercises for my three losses, so I did 75 crunches, 30 Jumping Jacks, and 10 pushups all at once. As I slowly increase my workload, it's starting to becoming a real workout! I'm just not sure if it's better to do all my exercises at once (where it's more of a workout) or in stages after each loss (where it's harder to talk myself out of it). Hm.
I suppose, though, that it'll be more of a moot point as I keep increasing my regimen.
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"that is also dude"
Priceless. I am sold.
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This is... actually a good idea for my fat ass. Let's see how this turns out.
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I responded badly to a drop, lost the Nexus in my main and half my mining probes (full saturation). I was so far behind, went into beastly macro mode. It was obvious that I lost so I figured it was pure Archon time.
Well, my opponent was retarded and decided to drop me a few times but I cleaned it up, I ended up maxing out on Archons and 1a'd to victory. He didn't leave until I killed absolutely everything and I was flexing and fistpumping the whole time.
Then I saw this thread. I shall proceed to follow the regime of Buffcraft. Better not lose.
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I've been doing this for several years now, but for Call of Duty.
I do 30 push ups whenever i get lower than a 2 k/d.
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This is actually a pretty awesome idea. I think I may start doing this once i get my computer back.
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So is this supposed to be serious or parody? Because it treads the lines of both without committing to either and ends up adulterated by this non-commitment.
I would actually encourage a little exercise in between games. My system has been X number of exercise per win 2X number per loss.
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On July 19 2011 00:38 Astyanaxis wrote:
So is this supposed to be serious or parody? Because it treads the lines of both without committing to either and ends up adulterated by this non-commitment.
It's supposed to be silly, because silly = Fun. But I at least am actually doing it.
Could people who are particpating post what their current regimes are? I'd like to add it to the OP.
I'm up to 25 crunches and 25 jumping jacks per loss, and 25 crunches, 25 jumping jacks, and 10 push-ups for loss to cheese.
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On July 19 2011 16:59 Ribbon wrote:Show nested quote +On July 19 2011 00:38 Astyanaxis wrote:
So is this supposed to be serious or parody? Because it treads the lines of both without committing to either and ends up adulterated by this non-commitment. It's supposed to be silly, because silly = Fun. But I at least am actually doing it. Could people who are particpating post what their current regimes are? I'd like to add it to the OP. I'm up to 25 crunches and 25 jumping jacks per loss, and 25 crunches, 25 jumping jacks, and 10 push-ups for loss to cheese.
fyi, jumping jacks do literally next to nothing as far as exercise goes... one could also argue that they are very not badass either.
Jus' sayin'.
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Been doing this for years.
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I've been doing ten pushups for when I lose a macro game and 25 crunches when I lose to cheese. But when I win, and it's a good game, I play sick riffs on my guitar, and go "ohhhh yeaahhhhh!" So pumped all the time now.
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This is why Incontrol is so ripped!
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i842.photobucket.com/albums/zz346/OHRMomoka/Charles-Atlas-4.jpg)
