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Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own
This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread.
Here are some to start us off
1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking
2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast
3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD
4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!!
5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies
6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser
7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.)
8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO
9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-
10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran
11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed
12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ
13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI-
14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O
15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk
16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"
17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy
18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal
19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars
20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling....
21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots
22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield
23.ultralisks? more like minilisks
24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building
25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy"
26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.
27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high
28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!
29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!
30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs
31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless
32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost
had*
33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack
34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you
35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions
36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine!
and drops a mule
37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here?
38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!"
39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it?
stalker
40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot?
41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say?
Care to give me a lift?
42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter
43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there
Poll: best joke group? (61) 88% 41-43 (3) 4% 1-4 (2) 3% 9-12 (1) 1% 21-24 (1) 1% 37-40 (1) 1% 5-8 (0) 0% 13-16 (0) 0% 17-20 (0) 0% 25-28 (0) 0% 29-32 (0) 0% 33-36 (0) 0% 69 total votes Your vote: best joke group? (Vote): 1-4
(Vote): 5-8
(Vote): 9-12
(Vote): 13-16
(Vote): 17-20
(Vote): 21-24
(Vote): 25-28
(Vote): 29-32
(Vote): 33-36
(Vote): 37-40
(Vote): 41-43
(Vote):
Edit: Thanks for the positive feedback, but to all the naysayers, please do not post in this thread, i'd like to keep it clean
recently added:
44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.
45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius
46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!
47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?
48.A collosus walks into a bar.
49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.
50. What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard? marines on stim
51. Why did the mother ship vortex all of the protoss units?
It didn't recall
52. What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed?
the "creep" highway!
53. whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!
54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!
55. A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his
mothership and initiated a
factory recall
CAN A MOD PLEASE CHANGE THE TITLE TO STARCRAFT 2 JOKE THREAD, THANKYOU
User was temp banned for this post.
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Stolen from an earlier epic thread but:
What did the SCV say to scare his buddy?
+ Show Spoiler +
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so this one guy 6pools a terran
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On February 20 2011 11:34 Hypemeup wrote:Stolen from an earlier epic thread but: What did the SCV say to scare his buddy? + Show Spoiler +
That thread was fantastic.
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whats the earlier thread link?
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On February 20 2011 11:31 sharkmonger13 wrote:
11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed
I actually laughed out loud, I don't even
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WORST JOKES EVER... im sorry dude you just dont have it in you
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Pretty funny but only because they suck so much.
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These are so awful but I can't stop laughing.
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I tried to laugh but... I just couldn't.
Did you come up with these yourself?
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Those just didn't work on me, sorry (and sorry for not keeping your thread "clean" by not giving positive feedback, but i mean, come on)
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I really had a good time imagening how the OP was coming up with those jokes.
On a more serious note, and also to contribute to the topic: your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.
Edit:
24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building
really? I mean... REALLY?
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You ruined my saturday night. I didn't laugh, not even a smile on my face. You're no where near being a comedian! Back to the drawing board dude!
A baneling walks into bar.
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I'm pretty sure the only joke is that this thread is terrible. He couldn't even spell check Starcraft... I assume it is intentional... but you never know.
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Yeah, I'm not one to tear people down. But there aren't punchlines here, just statements...... and that makes them mildly funny :D
26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.
This is the closest thing to a joke and it isn't even accurate xD
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so much fail on these. I suspect a lvl?
You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius
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i stopped after the first 10. i could not bear how terrible these jokes are
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"This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread."
DO NOT WANT! D: Funny how you actually think that you're funny.
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26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.
Wow. I never thought I was Huk, but I guess I must be!
Dear god are these awful.
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Okay nevermind, these are gold. Kind of. In a sad sort of way.
28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!
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On February 20 2011 11:51 Chicken Chaser wrote:
i stopped after the first 10. i could not bear how terrible these jokes are
thats a shame. the 11th joke is the best
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Probably the worst group of 'jokes' I have ever read in my life.
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On February 20 2011 11:54 DeltruS wrote:Reddit > this thread.
This thread is awesome....
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Attn haters: do not post in this awesome thread.
a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building
Is the most fun one, I'm actually rolling on the floor laughing.
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genuinely lol'd. if this guy isn't a troll then.. the world has gone mad.
29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!
genius.
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This was so goddamn awful, I think I have an actual tumor growing in my brain after reading it.
I mean, could you at least not spell Starcraft wrong on the thread title? I don't usually BM, but seriously, gtfo.
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![[image loading]](http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y89/apm66/aad-1.jpg)
Can a mod please close this thread?
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.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter
this one is pretty good
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On February 20 2011 11:55 pieisamazing wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2011 11:51 Chicken Chaser wrote:
i stopped after the first 10. i could not bear how terrible these jokes are thats a shame. the 11th joke is the best
I actually read the 11th one first. Yeah, I get it, Hydralisks are slow... maybe he should have taken the creep highway? Ha.. Ha.. yeah this is unsalvageable.
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On February 20 2011 12:04 Chicken Chaser wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2011 11:55 pieisamazing wrote:On February 20 2011 11:51 Chicken Chaser wrote:
i stopped after the first 10. i could not bear how terrible these jokes are thats a shame. the 11th joke is the best I actually read the 11th one first. Yeah, I get it, Hydralisks are slow... maybe he should have taken the creep highway? Ha.. Ha.. yeah this is unsalvageable.
that woke was horrible compared to these gents jokes
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this thread is the best joke.
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I think we've been trolled, guys.
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i hope you're trolling us.
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A stalker asked a high templar why storm was nerfed, and he said:
+ Show Spoiler +it's because there was no Feedback.
This is the only good joke i could come up with.
It's sad really.
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Please no more.
None of these is even mildly funny, do you honestly find them funny yourself?
Edit: Thanks for the positive feedback, but to all the naysayers, please do not post in this thread, i'd like to keep it clean
There was no positive feedback...? Minus the obviously sarcastic replies. And even if you don't want negative feedback people still have the right to point out how bad this thread is.
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To quote chill: This is actually worse than I could have imagined...
edit: real quote
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On February 20 2011 12:04 Chicken Chaser wrote:Show nested quote +On February 20 2011 11:55 pieisamazing wrote:On February 20 2011 11:51 Chicken Chaser wrote:
i stopped after the first 10. i could not bear how terrible these jokes are thats a shame. the 11th joke is the best I actually read the 11th one first. Yeah, I get it, Hydralisks are slow... maybe he should have taken the creep highway? Ha.. Ha.. yeah this is unsalvageable.
ITT people with no sense of humor.
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not a single good joke, and believe me, I tried
try something like:
1.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!
2.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?
3.A collosus walks into a bar.
4.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.
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On February 20 2011 11:37 Dont Panic wrote:
WORST JOKES EVER... im sorry dude you just dont have it in you
this, holy crap those were bad o.o
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i'm laughing really hard at these, i think you did your job
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On February 20 2011 05:50 Sqq wrote:
A Marine walks into a bar and asks
"Wheres the counter?"
don't know if it's original but thats the first time i heard it
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On February 20 2011 12:02 apm66 wrote:Can a mod please close this thread?
Or maybe even better nuke it ... these are just too bad to be left standing arround, someone might suffer serious brain damage/might never be able to laugh again because of this horrible concentration of not-funnyness.
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On February 20 2011 11:49 apm66 wrote:A baneling walks into bar.
Wait a minute, don't you mean a baneling BURST into the bar?
kekekekekeke
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+ Show Spoiler +On February 20 2011 11:31 sharkmonger13 wrote:Hey all, i've been looking for a solid sc2 joke thread, but none really delivered the content i wanted, so i decided i would make my own This thread will be updated 1-2 times a week and contain jokes that i made up or good ones from the thread. Here are some to start us off 1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking 2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast 3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD 4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!! 5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies 6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser 7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.) 8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO 9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju- 10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran 11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed 12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ 13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI- 14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O 15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk 16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick" 17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy 18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal 19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars 20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling.... 21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots 22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield 23.ultralisks? more like minilisks 24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building 25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy" 26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk. 27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high 28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood! 29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal! 30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs 31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless 32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost had* 33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack 34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you 35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions 36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine! and drops a mule 37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here? 38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!" 39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it? stalker 40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot? 41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say? Care to give me a lift? 42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter 43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there Poll: best joke group? (61) 88% 41-43 (3) 4% 1-4 (2) 3% 9-12 (1) 1% 21-24 (1) 1% 37-40 (1) 1% 5-8 (0) 0% 13-16 (0) 0% 17-20 (0) 0% 25-28 (0) 0% 29-32 (0) 0% 33-36 (0) 0% 69 total votes Your vote: best joke group? (Vote): 1-4
(Vote): 5-8
(Vote): 9-12
(Vote): 13-16
(Vote): 17-20
(Vote): 21-24
(Vote): 25-28
(Vote): 29-32
(Vote): 33-36
(Vote): 37-40
(Vote): 41-43
(Vote):
Edit: Thanks for the positive feedback, but to all the naysayers, please do not post in this thread, i'd like to keep it clean recently added: 44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her. 45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius 46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese! 47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)? 48.A collosus walks into a bar. 49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is. CAN A MOD PLEASE CHANGE THE TITLE TO STARCRAFT 2 JOKE THREAD, THANKYOU
had to quote the thread i dont want any of these ever deleted
EVER
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Katowice25012 Posts
I am loving these, more please!
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Oh god, this is a pretty poor attempt at Starcraft jokes. To add to the thread there is one thread awhile ago that described how manly the Terran race is in SC2, it was hilarious. Really can't find it anymore though.
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Well guys, i was going to put off the jokes for a few days due to a few people being negative, but after some thought, and a few posters acting positive, more jokes are on the way as i type this!
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in the same spirit:
What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard?
Marines on stims
Why did the mother ship get all the units killed?
It didn't recall
What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed?
the "creep" highway!
Gold Jerry! GOLD!
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OP = Great troll? Or greatest troll?
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On February 20 2011 12:35 sharkmonger13 wrote:
Well guys, i was going to put off the jokes for a few days due to a few people being negative, but after some thought, and a few posters acting positive, more jokes are on the way as i type this!
cant tell if srs
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whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!
what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!
edit: I thought we were supposed to make up our own jokes? i dont really see anybody saying jokes. sorry if i wasnt supposed to make up some. ill delete my others and just leave the 2 first ones just in case...
g
and if you dont like his jokes why post you dont like them? i dont like basketball, but i dont go into basketball thread and say "i dont like this." Well do what youwant I guess.
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A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his
+ Show Spoiler +
ZING
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On February 20 2011 12:43 Befree wrote:
whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!
what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!
edit: I thought we were supposed to make up our own jokes? i dont really see anybody saying jokes. sorry if i wasnt supposed to make up some. ill delete my others and just leave the 2 first ones just in case...
g
and if you dont like his jokes why post you dont like them? i dont like basketball, but i dont go into basketball thread and say "i dont like this." Well do what youwant I guess.
very nice jokes! i will add them ! i love the spirits it really gives me hope that the community isn't full of nancies
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This thread is cool, lots of fun in here 
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What's the difference between cats and drones?
+ Show Spoiler +I don't cackle everytime i roast 6 drones (replace "cats" with "babies" for extra lol)
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These are just so terrible that they become good. Except 42 (whoa!). That one was pretty funny
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This is the largest group of dissapointment ive seen in my entire life... cant believe i even read half of them =/ Do NOT quit your day job.
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What happened when the zerg tried to fast expand with 15 drones?
He lost to...
1. pylon wall @ ramp
2. bunker wall @ ramp
3. reaper rush
4. 2 proxy gates @ 9 probes
5. scv marine allin
6. 2 gate stalker rush
7. 6 pool
8. thor drop
9. his opponent's macro cheese
10. missing any timing for the rest of the game by a second.
11. 1 gas 4 gate
12. by not SCOUTING.
13. bitbybit.prime
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What happened when the zerg tried to fast expand with 15 drones?
He held off a 2 raxx and eventually transitioned into a lair with ling/bling/mutas and the game went on.
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On February 20 2011 11:31 sharkmonger13 wrote:
9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-
11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed
42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter
These were the only 3 that even drew a smile to my lib. I appreciate your effort, but most of it did in no way come off funny to me. And then there's this:
36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine!
and drops a mule
... All I've read through 50+ jokes are the following: QQ terran is OP, QQ Protoss can deathball, QQ Zerg is underpowered...
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6 Mutas went to a bar and saw 3 marines chilling with a medivac.
all of the mutas died that night
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motbob
United States12546 Posts
Some of the jokes in the OP have potential. Let's fix them up.
Why did the mothership vortex the entire protoss army?
It didn't recall.
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can someone plz tell me y the thread title keeps changing
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On February 20 2011 13:05 motbob wrote:
Some of the jokes in the OP have potential. Let's fix them up.
Why did the mothership vortex the entire protoss army?
It didn't recall.
(^_^) This
+1
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On February 20 2011 13:05 motbob wrote:
Some of the jokes in the OP have potential. Let's fix them up.
Why did the mothership vortex the entire protoss army?
It didn't recall.
Let's just try to forget about these 
I mean seriously.
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This thread (omg the thread title) has reached the bottom of the barrel of awesomeness...
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the jokes are bad and so are your spelling and grammar
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On February 20 2011 13:11 awu25 wrote:
the jokes are bad and so are your spelling and grammar
The jokes are bad, and so is your spelling and grammar.*
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none of the jokes are funny, and wtf is with the title?
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Are these jokes....jokes? Anyways, contributing. Why didn't the hellions make it out of the zerg base? They ran too close to the spawning pool.
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Some mod added another r rofl - best joke of the thread
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Calgary25980 Posts
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Warning this thread is highly radioactive you may lose neurons everytime you press F5
This one is dedicated to OP:
A stalker walks into a bar. He sees an banshee pilot drinking a beer. Stalker tries to approach her but she disappeared in the blink of an eye.
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EPT
