NHFFA No Hunters Free For All every Weekend!

The Official ~NoHunters Free-For-All Rules of Conduct

An interpretation of ancient texts by the layman Greth

Introduction:

At the beginning of all things Starcraft a group of Internet dwellers formed a community. It was a strange tribal society that developed what some say to be 'the perfect Online Community'. Although impossible to explain so plainly without the use of poetry, flashing CGI effects and near lethal doses of LSD, I will say this:
Their language was based on the usage of expletives and using their own names as derogatory terms. They created new words out of old expletives etc... This effectively closed them off from civilized society and allowed them to thrive, in their own special way.
There was virtually no history of violence or hate. None of the discussions or online fights held any real world value. Religion, race, sexuality, all of these were used to 'communicate' and to 'identify' members of the tribe; without consequence.

Eventually tensions did rise. Fights did break out, but the tribe had found an ingenious method of preserving their peaceful cussing way of life.
You, the reader, will now gaze upon a ritual device that has been used by this highly developed tribe for the duration of Starcraftian history. Use it wisely.

The Set-Up

Players: 3-8 players.

Map: Every map in existence may be used – EXCLUDING HUNTERS IN ANY FORM. Using hunters will cause the Mighty Bengalaas God of all things Starcraft to reign down on you with the powers of terror, nuclear explosions, lightning spitting and acid belching!

Each participant should be connected by a VoIP device (this rule has been added to improve the experience, this is obviously not a part of the ancient texts).

No third party hacks may be used, all rules discussed below only have jurisdiction within the game itself, not outside the intended programming. Again, if you fail to comply, the Mighty Bengalaas will do nasty things to you.


The Rules

Rule 1:

There are no rules. Not even this one, it's just a placeholder telling you that there are no rules. So reading this was completely and utterly pointless.

Explanation of the lack of rules:

So you are confused? Ok... It's ok. We can't all be born with an IQ over 70.

Everything goes. Every tactic. Every rush. Every piece of filthy rotten cheese that your fudged up brain can think of. Every humiliating, torturing sleazy bit of disgusting Starcraft you dare put your hands on.
Form alliances, backstab, it doesn't matter. Once the counter hits zero you enter a different dimension. One where you have no friends and are only fighting to survive. Everything can be said, done and plotted. Everything you say on VoIP, chat or maybe even a quick phonecall or e-mail. Everything goes. Say GG and not mean it, back off and build up a deathfleet of carriers. It's allowed. Think of it, it's ALLOWED.

Code Of Conduct

One thing should be made clear. Once the timer hits zero everything can be said and done. But when the game is over all those participating have to let go. The FFA takes place in a different instance of existence, what happens in the FFA stays in the FFA and it is not to be taken seriously. If you cannot do this, then you are not worthy of it and you may never participate again.
To put it bluntly: 'cry more N00B'.

Also, when a player asks for 'Obs' (An observer position) one is required to give it to him. Usually this means leaving at least 1 building alive. The lobbying for vision is optional but allying for a certain 'grace period' is mandatory. In order to win the game it is allowed to kill off observers if it is certain on your part that you have the upper hand.

It is required that players attempt to win. Shifting alliances, using backhand tricks – these things are applauded. Which will be made clear in the 'awards' section.

If you lack inspiration, I strongly recommend – nay, DEMAND you to read this ancient Strategy Report by the hallowed Mattzarella who was a pioneer in FFA behaviorism:
The FFA Effect: A Starcraft Strategy Report

Victory conditions

Person who can save the replay with the longest time on it wins. This usually means that the last person to leave the game wins. If for some reason replay times are exact, the person with the most points wins. which means that having an allied victory will only result in 1 winner. There can only be one player left standing. If by some act of Mark4 there is a tie in the scores, the winner will be decided by a 1v1.

Awards
The motivation of each player is different. Some try to win, some try to take revenge, some are just too damned intoxicated to give a flying f-actory. For each case, there is a reward.

The Golden Bengalaas:
Reward to the last player standing: the factual winner of the ~NH FFA

Balls Of Steel:
Stolen from Duke Nukem in the late nineties, these balls represent the gutsiest player of the ~NH FFA. Forgoing any sort of self preservation. This is usually the first player to attack and the first one to get taken out.

Limburger Award:
A big block of stinking cheese is handed out to the player that used the most horrible opening build, (one that manages to actually do some intentional damage).

Cockroach Award:
Rewarded with a dead cockroach nailed on a moldy piece of wood: The player who survives the longest without an operational mining base.

Hitler Award:
A greasy square mustache is sent to the player that is in general, the most backstabbing, irritating and sleazy player.

The Severed Thumbs-Up Award:
A dismembered thumb pointing upwards, attached to a small marble plaque is given to the player who tried, and failed miserably. The first person to leave the game.

The Ninja Award:
A poison soaked shuriken is sent to the player who survived the longest with the least amount of unit deaths and loss of buildings. E.g. the one nobody noticed was there.

The 'Blank' Award:
Each game has its own story. If a player does something amazing or amazingly stupid, a custom award can be given to him/her.


The Badme Award:
Badme is a player of legend that would only have one purpose in a game: to nuke someone as fast as possible. This led to a general consensus among ~NH players. Badme was not to be tolerated. A tactic was devised, it was forged over the course of hundreds of games - a specific means to terminate badme with utmost precision.
The actual tactic can be found in chapter 10 of the Mattz Bible of FFAs and I will not disclose it here.

The award that is given to honour this strategy is simple: Get 3 or more people to ally against you personally, without any allies of your own.

The Dagomar Award:
Dagomar is not unlike Badme, a demigod of ~NH. Dagomar can be seen as a sort of queer Canadian version of a Greek mythological creature. He's terrifying, and he'll sodomise you with horrendous tactics, but in the end all of his units are coated in a powder blue colour and you can help feel bad for him. He's the thing that will make you realise it's just a game, and sometimes people just spent too much time on it.

The award is presented to any combatant who qualifies for at least five of the listed awards - as dictated by the ~NH disciple Maareek.

Achievements

These work differently from the current form found in games that aren't as good as Starcraft.
Generally this is a form of boasting.
At the start of the game, a player can make a claim or prediction. If that player achieves the set goal, he is awarded with the 'Bronze cock of cockiness' – a bronze statue of a male chicken. Note however that setting a ridiculously easy goal such as 'mine 100 minerals' will result in all Bronze cocks being taken away. Silver and Golden Cocks remain unharmed. (This is decided by the players participating in the ~NH FFA).

5 Bronze Cocks: 1 Silver Cock
5 Silver Cocks: 1 Golden Cock = “The Ultimate Reward for Cockiness and Assholery”

Achievement examples:

“I'm going to nuke 10 expansions”
“I'm going to infest 5 Command Centers”
“I'm going to kill PsyonicReaver with only workers”
“I'm going to have a 10 kill zergling”
“I'm going to nuke you with Protoss”
“I'm going to win with scouts”

Claims can only be made within the first 3 minutes of the game.


In Closing

If you question the value of these rules, please take a look at the following reports, they are but a few of a great number found in the battlereports.com archive; I could post dozens:

http://www.battlereports.com/viewreports.php?reportnum=6094
http://www.battlereports.com/viewreports.php?reportnum=987
http://www.battlereports.com/viewreports.php?reportnum=3489

On December 05 2015 13:41 MinscandBoo wrote:
Uhh... so there is no time listed?? I had to save the image and read it blown up(and very blurry) to understand wtf this event was. I've played something like this on AoE2.
Could really use a set-ish time tomorrow or a date further in the future to get ppl aware and put aside time to play this. Also the image usage for the rules is basically unreadable... having to DL the image and then still have a hard time reading it... sad day in Pallet town...

On December 05 2015 13:49 bITt.mAN wrote:
This looks fun, but if you want people to come, you need to specify:

TIME (+ time-zone)

SERVER

On December 05 2015 14:00 MinscandBoo wrote:
Googled the opening text and copy pasted this over so you don't have to read it from the image. (hope it helps ppl)

On December 06 2015 00:04 B-royal wrote:
I used to play warcraft 3 ffa quite fervently. I'll definitely join this at least once. Sounds a lot of fun!

On December 10 2015 16:19 neobowman wrote:
What time in EST? I math not do.

On December 11 2015 01:44 Psyonic_Reaver wrote:
Oh FFAs. I have missed you.

I'll try to show up for one of these, no promises on an exact date but I will try!

On December 10 2015 16:38 ProllTarodies wrote:


There`s no time... no math! You just show your ass up at the Weekends whenever you can and I tell you if any1 else is here and then you make your own damn mind if you wait for the rest to gather or no... Ive spoken with many many people... I feel optimistic about this weekend...

On December 11 2015 06:14 Psyonic_Reaver wrote:
I dunno. I think me defeating combat-ex with a worker rush in an FFA and THEN going on to win the VERY same FFA still tops out as the most bad ass way to win an FFA ever.

On December 11 2015 06:46 B-royal wrote:
I think having a set time, perhaps a Poll every week could aid in organizing a match?

On December 11 2015 06:50 neobowman wrote:


I'm going to be at a TF2 LAN this weekend so it won't be that good for me. I might be able to hop in if I can install BW on the computer but probably not.

On December 11 2015 09:19 VGhost wrote:
battlereports.com ... Now there's a website's style I haven't seen in a long time.

Any idea more specific on the time? I know you keep saying "no set time" but even like a 3 hour window would get you more players.

Haven't played one of these in ages. E- rank chobonogosu don't be scared of me kekeke.

On December 11 2015 10:19 Psyonic_Reaver wrote:


I'll do you one better.

Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqZcZLbiFHw&list=PL25CEFF89DD300888&index=7

On December 15 2015 16:22 SeAy wrote:
Hey guys and hey Lucky_NOOB. Good luck with the FFA's. I probably have more time as we aproach Christmas.

On December 15 2015 16:35 ProMeTheus112 wrote:
I want to play next :D
it's really good idea, I really like that there is this bunch of maps and that it's a FFA with no rules where you can even ally, I've almost never played something like that but heard people talking about it being played sometimes in the past and that it was often fun and interesting

On December 18 2015 22:34 bITt.mAN wrote:
Yoyo this looks fun, what time you guys playing, I'll show up on dat iCCup

On December 24 2015 12:35 BoX wrote:
Just saw this, thanks LN. Like any good BW player who hasn't taken the game seriously in a decade (or played it at all, really) - I'm down for the next one.

I'll get to think such fun thoughts as, "I'm so fucking bad, wow!" or my favorite, "I'd crush these newbs if... wait, 'if I didn't suck so much' doesn't pan out in this monologue.. Should I keep going? When does it actually become a dialogue when I'm talking to myself? If it does become a dialogue, does that certify me as insane? But if nobody knew but me, does it matter? Our forces are under attack? Fuck you, this is why I suck, gg"

Or something to that effect.

On December 25 2015 10:09 SeAy wrote:
Merry Christmass to all of my Brood War friends. Sunday 27 looks like a cool day to get some games going on.

On December 25 2015 15:03 Psyonic_Reaver wrote:
Hey OP if you could add this Discord server to the OP, I think it would really help you guys coordinate times and games better than the skype group. (I hateeeeee skypeeeeee)

https://discord.gg/0ixZf5nRkePDbq47 - Currently based on US East server but I can move it practically anywhere.

It's an IRC chat channel and a voice chat channel all rolled into one. It's awesome. You can go back and read old chat too, it uses very minimal resouces (Unlike skype!) so feel free to use it guys. You can run it in your web browser, phone or as a desktop app. It's seriously amazing.

I'm going to try and make it on the 27th for some games!

Edit: I've also posted this thread to all the old ~NH/BR.com guys that still hang around and chat to see if they want in.

On December 25 2015 17:18 Psyonic_Reaver wrote:
I've been against Skype ever since people were able to pull my IP and personal info from it when I used to stream on Twitch and used it negatively against me and my family. I've vowed never to go back.

I'd be happy to hand over the Discord channel to you if you're concerned about that.

See ya'll on the 27th!