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Zurich15364 Posts
Random bits of knowledge about Germany![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/KAjXG.png)
Short introduction:
I tossed up several opening column drafts to this blog series I was planning on writing for a long time now. None of them were satisfactory so far, so I just figured I’ll skip an opening all together and just start writing the first column.
This will be a series of truly random and arbitrary bits of knowledge about Germany, its people, curiosities, culture, and history. Basically I will write about whatever interesting or noteworthy I notice during the day. I hope this will be interesting to the foreign reader, which will be my target audience, but maybe at least be amusing to the German ones as well.
My first column will be about Small Talk.
Small talk in Germany is a delicate topic. Germans don’t have a reputation of being the most open and talkative people on the planet, and rightfully so. It’s rather uncommon to just start conversing with strangers on the bus, in line at Subway’s, or anyway basically. Should you as the inexperienced visitor try to open a conversation with a stranger about a seemingly innocent topic, you might at best receive a confused glance, a nod, and a mumbled response in return.
Similarly, say you actually managed to get the attention of say a co-worker, you will find that your attempts to discuss this weekend’s events, the weather, or whatever light topic you can think of will be answered promptly and efficiently, and quickly stop at a dead end.
![[image loading]](http://imgur.com/XOOnf.jpg)
You have to understand that suggesting to discuss such superfluous topics like the weather is considered an insult to the great minds of the nation of poets and philosophers. The notion of actually wasting time on self-evident chit chat just doesn’t work with the German’s principles of efficiency and quality. You will actually find Germans that will proudly proclaim “I don’t do small talk”, and will fail to understand why anyone would want to do so.
One of the most obvious occurrences of this failure to communicate lightly you will find when you are about to enter an elevator with people already in it. The looks you will receive go from “this is MY elevator” “how dare you interrupt my ride on the second floor” to “you better be quiet”. Take a deep breath, make a confident but not aggressive step into the cabin, turn around to face the door, and hope you can hold your breath until you reach your floor. You may mumble a short “tschuss” under your breath when leaving, but this is dangerous and may break elevator silence etiquette if done incorrectly.
All this may appear hostile to the outsider, but just realize that there is a time and a place. Once you have identified the correct social situation and sufficiently serious topics, you will find Germans to be the most outstanding discussion partners.
In fact, Germans LOVE to discuss any topic and argue for the heck of it. This is the other side of the coin that may disturb the outsider. A German dinner conversation is seriously lacking if there isn’t an in depth discussion about the upcoming financial crisis, the catastrophe that is today’s educational system, the horrible war in country X, the end of the world, or other light hearted topics. If there wasn’t a considerable uproar with at least one guest leaving the table in indignation the dinner may be considered a disappointing and in vain venture.
It is expected from you to have a strong opinion, defend your point to the finish and refuse to accept any compromise. This isn’t chit chat anymore, you entered today’s last remnants of Germany’s 1848 parliamentary debates. Don’t expect this to blow over quickly either. You are expected to carry your argument against surprisingly well informed Germans past midnight.
I have seen many times that foreign visitors were embarrassed and shocked that a serious family feud seemed to break out from their innocent attempt to start some conversation over dessert. Don’t be. Get your boxing gloves and dive into the fray. You just earned enough respect that your German hosts will forgive you another week of asking how the kids are doing.
 
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I hate small talk, sounds like Germany would be a good fit for me as I find more joy in having logical conversations than talking about things I don't care about.
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add "and it all ends in an massive drinking orgy" and it sounds like austria xD
but maybe it's only here, cause i live in so close proximity to germany(?) I can see the border when looking out the window 
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
that sounds awesome.
i wanna live in germany one day
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Sounds like my apartment, lovely!
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I live in Germany myself and though the OP is overstating somewhat, all of it is true.
Since im not German myself i was quite shocked when I was dragged into a family feud once at my gf's place culminating in plates getting thrown at the wall, shattering, when i was embarrassedly asking if i should leave, they were like "no way, this is normal, here have another glass of wine.."
and yea drinking alot after eating is the usual thing to do @green.at
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hahaha nice. and srsly why would you start a conversation just because you're in the same elevator or something.
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FREEAGLELAND26782 Posts
On December 01 2010 20:01 EtherealDeath wrote:
Sounds like my apartment, lovely!
I want to visit your apartment some day o.0
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Jeah that's Germany! sometimes i feel a litlle more "open" people wouldn't be a bad thing, but in general i like the extensive discussions and no/less small talk!
Keep them coming, very good read!
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And I always imagined people in Germany would always chat about the latest Der Alte :/
Deutschland ist epic IMO.
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9070 Posts
actually I think germans are very talkative, Ive been approached countless times by strangers on bus stations, trains and whatnot. Which is always nice. I had a cool story with a girl the other day on a bus station, she was complaining about her cold and other random stuff from her life. When I finally got the chance to say smth she picked my accent and said 'wait wait wait - lemme guess, you are from switzerland?' so I checked out the girl - solid 8/10 and said 'yea Im from switzerland'
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Braavos36390 Posts
I love these blogs, keep them coming!
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On December 01 2010 21:11 disciple wrote:
actually I think germans are very talkative, Ive been approached countless times by strangers on bus stations, trains and whatnot. Which is always nice. I had a cool story with a girl the other day on a bus station, she was complaining about her cold and other random stuff from her life. When I finally got the chance to say smth she picked my accent and said 'wait wait wait - lemme guess, you are from switzerland?' so I checked out the girl - solid 8/10 and said 'yea Im from switzerland'
ahaha. that "are you from switzerland" thing happens to me a lot. :D
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germany sounds like a nice place for me. i dont really like small talk either, but im getting better at it. hard to come up with things to talk about all the time.
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On December 01 2010 19:49 zatic wrote:innocent attempt to start some conversation over desert.
Was this ESL error or a clever Afrika Korps joke?
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On December 01 2010 22:04 oBlade wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2010 19:49 zatic wrote:innocent attempt to start some conversation over desert. Was this ESL error or a clever Afrika Korps joke?
rofl ahahahaha
Great blog, not a big fan of small talk my self- I should move to Germany! :D
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On December 01 2010 19:56 green.at wrote:add "and it all ends in an massive drinking orgy" and it sounds like austria xD but maybe it's only here, cause i live in so close proximity to germany(?) I can see the border when looking out the window
no, happens alot here in switzerland and i think in germany too.
On December 01 2010 21:30 green.at wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2010 21:11 disciple wrote:
actually I think germans are very talkative, Ive been approached countless times by strangers on bus stations, trains and whatnot. Which is always nice. I had a cool story with a girl the other day on a bus station, she was complaining about her cold and other random stuff from her life. When I finally got the chance to say smth she picked my accent and said 'wait wait wait - lemme guess, you are from switzerland?' so I checked out the girl - solid 8/10 and said 'yea Im from switzerland' ahaha. that "are you from switzerland" thing happens to me a lot. :D
were you speaking english or german? because if your not swiss you won't have a swiss german accent^^
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Zurich15364 Posts
On December 01 2010 22:04 oBlade wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2010 19:49 zatic wrote:innocent attempt to start some conversation over desert. Was this ESL error or a clever Afrika Korps joke?
Fixed 
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What's wrong with small talk 
It beats awkward silence by a mile.
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9070 Posts
On December 01 2010 22:08 DoXa wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2010 19:56 green.at wrote:add "and it all ends in an massive drinking orgy" and it sounds like austria xD but maybe it's only here, cause i live in so close proximity to germany(?) I can see the border when looking out the window no, happens alot here in switzerland and i think in germany too. Show nested quote +On December 01 2010 21:30 green.at wrote:On December 01 2010 21:11 disciple wrote:
actually I think germans are very talkative, Ive been approached countless times by strangers on bus stations, trains and whatnot. Which is always nice. I had a cool story with a girl the other day on a bus station, she was complaining about her cold and other random stuff from her life. When I finally got the chance to say smth she picked my accent and said 'wait wait wait - lemme guess, you are from switzerland?' so I checked out the girl - solid 8/10 and said 'yea Im from switzerland' ahaha. that "are you from switzerland" thing happens to me a lot. :D were you speaking english or german? because if your not swiss you won't have a swiss german accent^^
swiss german accent is pretty easy to emulate
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EPT
