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My Luck Shifts Rapidly

Blogs > MutaDoom
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MutaDoom
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada1163 Posts
July 25 2009 13:32 GMT
#1
I apologize in advance for the profanity.

So, just to establish this, it's 6:49 right now in Medicine Hat, Alberta and I'm hammered. Oh yes, there was vodka. Lots of it. I'm a fairly cheap drunk as it is, taking usually only about 10 (Canadian) beers to get me drunk, and I had almost a 40 ounce bottle(1.14L). I fucking love pool parties.

Anyway, here's my past couple days:

Three days ago, my ex girlfriend dropped a bomb on me. "Nathan, I'm late. Really late. I might be pregnant." Needless to say, I was freaking out. Previous to two weeks ago, I would have been excited. I would have been scared as hell, but excited. Then she broke up with me. Two days ago she took a test, and it came up negative. I was extatic. Then she got her period. I was on top of the world. My closest friends and I partied hard. A couple bottles of Asti champagne and a case of beer later, I was having a great time. Luck changed once.

The next morning(Yesterday), I woke up on the couch. I don't drive drunk. I hopped into my car to go home, but was stopped by a cop on a "routine random check". He smelled the liquor on my clothes that didn't mappen to make it into my mouth in a drunken haze the night before, and made me blow. I blew a 0.03. Normally that'd be cool, since it takes a 0.08 to be considered intoxicated, but I've been too lazy to get my license changed from what they call "GDL", or Graduated Driver's License. Under this license you can't have any liquor in your system whatsoever, not even 0.01 BAC. First thoughts? That fucking cock sucker. He shrugged and said "Looks like you've still got a couple beers in you. Cool", and tossed the breathalyzer back in his car. He didn't realize I was on GDL. Luck changed twice.

Not 40 yards down the road, my fucking car dies. I look under the hood, and there's ZERO oil in it. I just got a fucking oil change at Mr. Lube a week and a half ago, how can this be possible? Those retards forgot to cap it off right afterwards, and itslowly leaked out. Oh that's fucking sweet, the engine is now siezed. The bearings are shot, and now I need a new motor, which is conveniently more than the god damn car was worth. Now I'm car-less. I paced back and forth for about 3 hours, after getting the thing towed back to my house, then had to get a ride to work from my little brother. It's pathetic. I was at an all time high after my luck changed twice, and now I'm at a severe low. I feel like a god damn pregnant woman myself, my mood swinging so much. After spending the entire day at the liquor store I work at miserable, a regular comes in. He's a mechanic. I explained my situation to him, and he absolutely shocks me. "I have a car I will sell you tomorrow. It's a Sable, it's better than your car you had, and it's yours for $200." It's easily worth $1500. His wife pipes up and says their daughter was going to take it, but he says, and I quote, "No, my friend here is in need NOW, so I'm going to help him out. She can have whatever is next." With a smile he gives me his number and leaves with his usual 15 pack of Rainier beer. I just upgraded cars for the cost of my old car that I'm selling for parts? Are you kidding? My luck changed thrice.

After work, I went to a pool party down the street from where I live, where I consumed way too much vodka for my own good. This was at a girl named Corry's house, and I would like nothing more than to get with her, and not even just as a rebound from my old girlfriend. She's smart, she's stable, and she's beautiful. Just to establish a history:+ Show Spoiler +
, I used to hang out with her and her twin sister a few years ago, but lost touch. I started hanging out again after I broke up with my girlfriend. I had stayed at her house, both of us sloshed, and I woke up with her shirt and bra on the floor beside me. Then two nights later, I had to work and joined late so I was sober, but she was real tipsy. By tipsy, I mean literally, she couldn't walk. She invited me to stay over again. When we got into bed, I actually said, "No, we shouldn't, you're way too drunk." Maybe that was my mistake, maybe that's why it all worked out the way it did. I don't know when I grew a conscience. It sucks.
Anyway, I danced to Billy Joel and stripped to the Spice Girls. It was a good fucking time. When it got really late, we decided to throw on some movie I can't remember. We sat there, and this son of a bitch named Garrett cock-blocked me. Fucker. He's one of those long time friends who is never leaving the "friend zone", but he blocked with all his might. I got depot walled, and next time I'm 5pooling that son of a bitch. He'll have a zergling right up in his kitchen, and by zergling I mean my fist. I'm drunk and bitter, but I am holding out hope that my luck will once again change. Technically, it did already, but I'm looking for a shift from bad to good, not vice versa.

For those who've been wondering about the Pac Man tattoo from my last blog, I've been too wasted to get the tattoo filled, and we're trying to work out a time now. It'd just all bleed out because of the alcohol. The artist and I are very close, so it's no big so far; hell, he's partied with me a couple of these nights. They've been hectic, and I need a cooldown right away. Tonight an old friend is back in town, and odds are he's going to shove beer down my throat, so maybe rest will come tomorrow. In the mean time, I'm going to hope my luck with Corry will change.

***
Archaic
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States4024 Posts
July 25 2009 14:14 GMT
#2
Personally, I just see this as a huge streak of good luck. All of your problems were fixed. Ignore the bad, and focus on the fact that you ended positive, with a better car at that.
MutaDoom
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada1163 Posts
July 25 2009 14:24 GMT
#3
Hell yeah, but I hope it keeps going! Seriously, I'm investing in some lottery tickets if this shit keeps up, I think the 6/49's at 20 million
indecision
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
Germany818 Posts
July 25 2009 14:58 GMT
#4
cock-blocked with all his might means he did what?
Durak
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Canada3685 Posts
July 25 2009 18:09 GMT
#5
I'm with Archaic here. I love going to house parties for this reason, they're so random. Bad shit often happens but as long as everything works out it's just an adventure that you tell at the next party.

If you pass through Winnipeg, give me a shout.
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
July 25 2009 18:54 GMT
#6
what up medicine hat homie

im from sherwood park, probably the only person on the forum besides chill who knows what the fuck medicine hat is
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
July 25 2009 18:55 GMT
#7
Everyone in Canada knows Medicine Hat o.o
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
FakeSteve[TPR]
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
Valhalla18444 Posts
July 25 2009 19:03 GMT
#8
i been there though
Moderatormy tatsu loops r fuckin nice
MutaDoom
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada1163 Posts
July 25 2009 19:14 GMT
#9
On July 26 2009 03:55 Chef wrote:
Everyone in Canada knows Medicine Hat o.o

Is it 'cuz of the Tigers? Haha, go WHL teams

And if I am in Winni, or next time you guys have a LAN party or anything, I am in. I was going to go to the last one, but I ended up being called into work. Lame.
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
July 25 2009 19:19 GMT
#10
On July 25 2009 23:58 indecision wrote:
cock-blocked with all his might means he did what?


cock block -- v. -- to prevent another from scoring sexually

score -- v. -- to get laid
Hates Fun🤔
MutaDoom
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada1163 Posts
July 25 2009 19:20 GMT
#11
On July 25 2009 23:58 indecision wrote:
cock-blocked with all his might means he did what?

He was relentless. He was trying to hit on her, in that awkward "stuck in the friend zone and I don't know it yet" kind of way. He kept shimmying his way in between us, and I was sure that if he interrupted me one more time I was gonna drown him in the pool. Other than that, the party was good though. At one point one of my buddies who went to get smokes called me and told me he just took ceramic deer from someone's yard for some reason, screaming "I stole Bambi's family!" Hahaha.
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
July 25 2009 19:23 GMT
#12
Nice. (:
Hello
evanthebouncy!
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United States12796 Posts
July 26 2009 00:12 GMT
#13
On July 25 2009 23:58 indecision wrote:
cock-blocked with all his might means he did what?

blocked with his own
Life is run, it is dance, it is fast, passionate and BAM!, you dance and sing and booze while you can for now is the time and time is mine. Smile and laugh when still can for now is the time and soon you die!
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
July 26 2009 00:27 GMT
#14
Pass some of that over here MutaDoom, I am in dire need of it.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
il0seonpurpose
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
Korea (South)5638 Posts
July 26 2009 03:07 GMT
#15
So you're gonna have to take care of the baby? I really wouldn't call it luck changing if I found out I was going to have a baby; nothing would really change my luck then. But 5/5
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
July 27 2009 02:04 GMT
#16
Sorry to hear you got cockblocked.

Good luck with Corry.
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
Maero
Profile Joined December 2007
349 Posts
July 27 2009 03:44 GMT
#17
Medicine Hat is probably the coolest name for a town i've ever heard

actually never mind, there is a town in IA called What Cheer

it's a close second though
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