EPT[Advice] What to do? - Page 3
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InfeSteD
United States4658 Posts
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snowbird
Germany2044 Posts
I don't think you can ever be happy over there if you don't speak the language at least at conversational level. It's just a necessity and being bad at languages is no excuse to give up from the start, you just have to try harder then. Cut back on the reporting a bit and take afternoon/evening classes at some university, good place to make friends too. ~ Seeing/experiencing discrimination because I'm a foreign English teacher (it's not only me if you go look at Dave's ESL cafe.) Plus apparently now we all have swine flu -_-; Guess that's true but being a foreigner also has its advantages. You're special, get more attention, often have a bonus (people will more often forgive things they wouldn't forgive a Korean). It just goes both ways, don't only see the negative side. Being a kyopo in Korea that doesn't speak Korean is much worse I think. ~ Missing my Mum (my only remaining family.) That's a good point. ~ Becoming Julyzerg because I have issues with food. How will that change when you leave Korea? Don't blame it on the Korean food, blame it on your eating habits and work on them. Korean can be a very healthy low-fat diet unless you go eat samgyobsal everyday. When it comes down to it I think it's all because I lack confidence in any part of my life and I'm trying so hard to please everyone here that I go off the deep end every time someone says something negative. The last thing I want is for people to hate me at TL that's why I wanted to explain some of why I react the way I do. 'I'm trying so hard to please everyone here' - that's exactly the problem. But I don't want to try to analyze you because I don't know you well and it would be rude, but I think the internet is the wrong place to go and look for affirmation and boost confidence. Also you ARE whiny and defensive, look at this thread. Why deny it? Sure, you have your reasons, but that doesn't change the fact that you are and you can't expect random people on the internet to respect your feelings because it's the goddamn internet. I mean you have a star, you're a girl, you're known on the forums - you get special treatment already and then there's like 1 out 100 replys that offend you and you go off like that. That IS whiny! Not trying to be offensive here, just want to tell you that you just need to learn to deal with it. | ||
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konadora
Singapore66155 Posts
'I'm trying so hard to please everyone here' I think you shouldn't push yourself too hard, I was once translating every single interview there was, but that just messed me up real bad. Now, when I just don't feel like it or am too tired, I just don't do it. You should try to go by your own pace and target. Go OTOT (Own time, own target). | ||
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VioleTAK
4315 Posts
As for all the rest... Its opportunities in disguise. Life is giving you golden chances to remain aware while seeing all the crap come up to the surface, like lack of confidence, fear, doubt and anger. When they come up, don't identify.. You are not your thoughts, you are not your emotions. You are the one who is able to see them rising. See the pain knocking on your mind's door, wanting to become one with your thoughts. See the suffering pushing in the background, wanting to become one with your emotions. Be the observing witness, and cut it all with your sword of consciousness. Enlightenment in 1 paragraph ;-) | ||
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Vequeth
United Kingdom1116 Posts
 The internet is a harsh place and I am sure that anyone that invests in internet opinions on an emotional level is going to come out hurting again, its just not the same as friends in real life. Learning the language could be key here, it is hard for a lot of people but the difference to your lifestyle in a country when you know the language is unexplainable. Isnt tasteless learning korean too? Surely you can get some tips/tricks off him! Stay pro o/ | ||
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Thojorin
Germany162 Posts
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mahnini
United States6862 Posts
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Railxp
Hong Kong1313 Posts
On May 29 2009 16:18 Last Romantic wrote: WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM DON'T BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, BELIEVE IN US (collective TL), WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!!!!!!!!!! if you're completely lost: + Show Spoiler + | ||
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SwEEt[TearS]
Canada1575 Posts
As far as I can tell you, do what you want. Sure, everyone says it, wah wah wah. But seriously. Can you really imagine spend a portion of your life doing something you don't like? Life is short, you can't just go around and say "the next year will be better" because you're the only one who can change things. Don't like your job? Find a new one. Trouble with languages? Get a teacher. And yes, it might be painful at times and yes, it's never easy. But it's the price to pay to bask in what you love. Life isn't easy for a good reason, it wouldn't be rewarding at all. Some people have it easy because of some social standards (be it money or fame) but you have to realize that those people usually lack what's most important: a passion. So all in all I can only say you're the only one who knows what's best for you. | ||
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floor exercise
Canada5847 Posts
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Elric
United Kingdom1327 Posts
You should definitely try learning Korean more. It's fun! Especially up to intermediate level as you pick up lots of basic but useful things quickly. It is sooooooooo satisfying actually using some new bit of Korean and then being understood. And non-Asian people speaking even basic conversational Korean get a tonne of admiration (great for your ego). If you need any advice on language courses in Seoul, fire me a PM.  If you have no concrete plans to return to in the UK, I suggest staying in Korea. Have you forgotten how shit the UK is? Think of the chavs  , and the miserable employees, and the retarded transport system and the wtf taxes...Also, reread snowbird's stuff. It's pretty frank but prob the best post of advice here. | ||
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
drink a full glass of water 1/2 an hour before every meal, and when you eat take a long time to do it. Don't work on other things and concentrate on eating while you're eating. Take smaller portions, present them to yourself nicely, and go back for seconds. Stop when you feel 80%ish--where your hunger is sated but theres still room for more. And most importantly, if you're hungry then eat something healthy as a snack. DO NOT starve yourself on purpose. You can indulge once a while. | ||
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Ragnorak
Australia54 Posts
That said, confidence is hard to find a lot of the time. Unfortunately there is no easy way around it either. It is all too easy to dismiss peoples praise of your work, and to take criticism too hard. For example, with your photos, I'll wager that you can look at any one of your photos and see something that you could have done better. So when someone compliments it, its easy to dismiss it because you can see what's wrong with it. Then when someone criticises it, it becomes just one more thing you've done wrong. There are many ways to deal with it, but you are going to have to find the way that works for you. For me personally, when someone comments on something I've done, I will analyse it, see if it has merit. Note I don't care about whether the comment is positive or negative, I simply try to see if the comment has value or not. If it does have value, fantastic. Its either positive or negative. If its positive, awesome. If its negative, then fine, I've made a mistake somewhere along the line. This criticism will highlight it to me, and I can work on fixing the problem, or doing better next time. The other thing I do is to make sure that I divorce my sense of self-worth from the work that I do. Just because I've made a mistake, or not done a perfect job, it does not reflect on my worth as a person. Perhaps the best quote I've heard on the issue is this one, from Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." But in the end, you are going to need to find your self confidence all by yourself. Friends can give advice, personal anecdotes, and a lot of support, but in the end, the solution has to come from inside you. I wish you the best of luck, and keep in mind that there are more people out there that appreciate your work that you realise. Also: lilsusie, I wouldn't be too offended that she didn't come to you with this. I've been in these sorts of situations before, and I've shut myself off from my friends and people I care about. Its a bad idea and counter-productive, but it is very easy to do. A lot of people also find it easier to write down their problems, it can be easier to make sure you say what you actually mean. Its also useful in that you can see exactly what is bothering you, and start working through the list to remedy the situation. Combine these two ideas, and you end up with this blog | ||
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Wotans_Fire
United Kingdom294 Posts
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emucxg
Finland4559 Posts
On May 30 2009 00:42 Wotans_Fire wrote: I would return home because from what I am reading is that you're not getting paid enough, I wouldn't accept it. I don't know if you have a photography education, but maybe that is a thing to do in the UK since they have many good schools for such. I'm agree, money is always the problem... Money is not everything, but without money, you can not do anything. | ||
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ZeroCartin
Costa Rica2390 Posts
I hope you find the answer soon, and whatever it is, be sure to know that most, if not all of the TL community will back you up for ur decision. BE STRONG! :D | ||
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chongu
Malaysia2585 Posts
Hope you are able to rekindle your passion for starcraft, e-sports and most of all.... to be the best person you can be : ) So that when in the future when u look back, you'll have more sweet memories than you'll have bitter ones. PS: Your hardships and sacrifices will not go forgotten by the community. | ||
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konadora
Singapore66155 Posts
you are scaring me | ||
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Gnojfatelob
Belgium216 Posts
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Smorrie
Netherlands2922 Posts
- i thought teaching english in korea makes enough money for a living? - figure out how to make money of your photographing hobby (work for a specific site only, or sell your pictures you make, contact teams and see if you can get paid for doing a team shoot or whatever, etc).. your portfolio should be big and good enough by now - i think i once read that you didn't have any time for yourself because it all goes into photographing... spend more time on yourself (nobody's paying you so you don't have any obligations anyways) - learn to enjoy life - figure out what you wanna do in the future (you have any kind of education?).. you can't keep on doing what you're doing now, unless you feel this is your calling and you can move up in all this and live a happy life and enjoy what you do Next to all that, it seems you have some confidence issues which I doubt will go away by people here telling you that you shouldn't care, but you really should work on it. Truth is, I don't care about you and I don't think anyone else here really does (few exceptions) either. Since we don't really know you personally we can't really give you the advice you really need.I don't think you were looking for advice anyways but just had to let it out. Hope it helped! Good luck, I'm sure you'll make the right decision. | ||
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