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Hypothetical situation:
You're sick with something nasty but not life threatening, let's say the flu. You're girlfriend wants to come over to visit you. Do you:
a) Encourage her to come over and take care of you.
b) Insist that she not come due to the risk of getting sick.
c) Other.
This situation is what prompted this discussion with my girlfriend. I'm of the mindset that choice B makes the most sense and it's because I care about her enough to not want her to get sick. Add to that the fact that when she gets sick she gets hit really hard by the sickness, far more than I do. She gets frustrated/angry when I do this though since she feels like I'm "rejecting her" or something.
So flip the tables now. She's sick and I figured it would make the most sense to visit her the following weekend instead of this one. She insists that I come anyway because "if you care about the person you'll visit irregardless."
She thinks I'm selfish for not risking getting sick to visit her while I think she's being selfish for wanting me to risk getting sick to visit her. I think you could certainly see things either way, neither is completely wrong. However, I'd be curious to see what other people think. Kinda would like to know if I'm in the small heartless selfish minority or not.
Poll: Postponing visit due to sickness is...
(Vote): The logical choice, no reason for both of us to suffer.
(Vote): Selfish, because if you love the person you shouldn't care about getting sick.
Poll: Insisting someone risk getting sick to visit you is...
(Vote): Selfish, you should put their safety before your own.
(Vote): Not selfish, they should care enough about you that they should want to see you anyway.
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I don't ask people to visit me if I'm sick, but I don't decline their visit. I just let them know the situation.
As far as visiting them. Yeah I do. It's just too easy to help them out to do otherwise. Take some vitamin C and don't have AIDS and you'll be alright. . . Either that or my immune system is powered by love and I never get sick when I visit someone who is. 
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United States24777 Posts
If there's no pressing need for people to meet, then insisting a meeting be postponed due to sickness seems best to me. I think any other take is irrational to a fault.
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Well as long as you can keep your distance, there shouldn't be a real problem of you or your gf getting sick (depending on who's sick) Just visit her!
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United States47024 Posts
Depends who's sick and who's the visitor.
If you're sick, and she wants to visit you, then tell her she shouldn't get sick for you.
If she's sick, go visit her obviously, show that you care.
In either situation, do what shows that you care about her. Honestly, the risk of you getting sick assuming you take proper care of yourself is low enough that its worth doing the nice thing for your girlfriend. Yes, its not the same both ways, but since when were relationships symmetric?
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I think people should be allowed to make their own decisions. If you don't want to visit her, and have a logical reason for it, she should accept it. And if she wants to visit you, you shouldn't care as long as you explain your illness to her.
However, I live in a fairy world on gumdrop lane, so in reality, you'll probably just argue a lot and not reach an agreed upon decision. Basically, I agree with both of you!
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She wants you to visit, are you going to say no to that?
Thought so.
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Asking your friend not to come is more selfish because youre not giving a crap about what they want.
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On April 22 2009 12:54 OmgIRok wrote:
She wants you to visit, are you going to say no to that?
Thought so.
If you are assuming that I wouldn't say no to that, you would be mistaken as I chose not to visit her last week. She was none too pleased about that.
She's still somewhat sick but I do intend to visit her this week.
Just for further clarification, when we were both in college I took care of her every time she got sick pretty much every moment I wasn't in class. Sometimes I got sick, sometimes I didn't. It was easier to deal with in college though. Now she's 3+ hours away and I've got a job to worry about. I just was out for a few days already since I was sick a few weeks ago.
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Oh, well you should've mentioned that. 3 hours away is pretty far
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Calgary25998 Posts
I like taking care of them when they're sick. It's cute! 
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if someone was sick, i would probably bring them supplies like theraflu tissues soup drinks, but i wouldn't want to touch them or spend any time with them.
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Its one of those stupid irrational social conforms thing.
The sick person shouldnt want the non-sick to come over because theyre worried it will make them sick. But the non-sick person comes over anyway because they care about the sick person and wants to be with them anyway.
The result, You still see each other, regardless if one of you is sick.
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EPT
