EPTShockey had a specific need for his blog, it's been graffiti'd(lol), and it has been sidetracked. I'd like to say what's on my mind about how to help people you think are going through some kind of depression - both by helping them in the situation and recommending they seek professional help.
Note: There does not have to be a specific cause for someone to be depressed. It also doesn't mean someone is insane, a common misconception even in this day and age. The misconception hurts feelings, btw.
Firstly, depression can be seen in a number of ways. It's rarely very obvious to others until it's interfered heavily with someone's life, which is why it's important to notice early and help every way you can. Workaholics, alcoholics, drug addicts, etc., all are major evidences of something going on, but they don't have to be such a big hint.
Run-on list: Terrible sleep routine(too much, insomnia), bad appetite(not eating enough or eating tons of carbs), poor hygiene, stubbornness in general, mood swings, not taking care of pets properly, anxiety that interferes with everyday activities(work/school/play), irritability, impatience, physical symptoms(back pain, fatigue, headache, stomach pain[all of these can be anxiety related])etc.,
If you have read through the list you can probably comprehend that there are many more possibilities, you just have to look for them.
How to help!: this is why I'm writing this! I want someone who reads this to be able to help someone going through depression, even if you only spend a couple minutes with them a day, or only talk to them online, such as making a post in your favorite public forum.
One of the things you should know is that depression can last for a long time, even with treatment. A public poll on WebMD "How long have you felt depressed?" has
For a few weeks - 11%
For a few months - 23%
For over a year - 66%
(for the purpose of knowing my perspective, I am still, after years, trying to figure out how to deal with the constant anxiety of how scary the outside world is. Sounds kinda silly doesn't it? But that's how I feel.)
The way you act should be in a positive light. Instead of telling your friend "can't believe you missed school AGAIN, I was so fucking bored", you should be saying "Hey what's up, missed you yesterday. Want to do [whatever] after class?" Activity with people is a great confidence booster to those in depression. Activity without people is fine too, but not too much. Playing a lot of starcraft or a computer game like WoW can be fine for a lot of people, it's a common way to escape reality for a bit. If someone with anxiety/depression is doing this frequently, the comfort and safety of these activities may be too good, they might stay indoors a little more often, and the spiral starts.
A great way to help someone with depression is to build their confidence. Telling them that exercise or eating right may be good for them usually isn't enough. They may hear it, but if it goes ignored then the thought won't go away. "Exercise is good for me, but I don't feel like it." Lack of motivation is a huge contributing factor. Being their workout partner or finding a partner for them is an excellent idea. Also going out to (reputable healthy)restaurants or anywhere you can buy stuff is a good way to raise his/her comfort levels around other people.
If working out isn't their thing, maybe some kind of sport. Throwing around a frisbee or playing catch are perfectly reasonable alternatives to get someone out of the house and enjoying life. You have to find out how good habits like exercise and eating right can fit into their current lifestyle.
Sometimes these things are not viable options because the person that needs help has already shut out the world, even if in their mind it's only briefly. In a casual meeting, you could say, "I noticed you've been anxious lately, is everything ok?".
Depending on how this goes or if the situation isn't right for that question, I was asked "Have you ever considered that you might have depression?"
It's important that the person in need realizes that they need help. It helps if the person asking them this question is close to them, be it a friend, or in my case a teacher. After realizing they need help, they need to know where to go. Whatever your views on anti-depressant medication are, you should always consider them an option. Your friend could go to:
- psychiatrist for therapy, prescriptions, or both
- trusted family doctor for overview on past few years of life, recommendation of medication/psychologist/psychiatrist
- psychologist for therapy
Also get a second opinion. It takes time to find out what kind of treatment works best for a particular person. You must have patience and take medication as prescribed. Before taking anything, be well informed. Know what side effects you can expect and how long it takes to start having an effect.
You've probably noticed that these are all real life things and none of these have to do with the forum. But depressed people do read forums, laugh at faceplants, and are sometimes very sensitive. For instance making a misinformed post summarizing that depressed people are negative nancys and simply thinking positively will make you feel right as rain is just fucked up. Not only does a post like this have nothing to back it up it actually is completely off. In the case of someone depressed/anxious changing natural negative thoughts that have been developing in the way you think over years is not easy to change. If a depressed person in this state is not aware of this or even unsure, it can be a debilitating thought that "my life is not where I want it to be and I'm trying so hard. People make it sound so simple." Getting help with these thoughts is one of the main reasons for therapy.
It may just because I've mostly dealt with it myself, but once in a while I say, "it would suck if a depressed person read this post. it could make them feel shitty for a couple hours." Don't let that post be yours, mkay?
Can't find preview for blogs, just posting. wonder how long this is... holy dick thats long
On March 18 2009 08:44 HamerD wrote:
I think it helps to find a point to life/ direction in life. The sleep is one of the most important things imo!
I think it helps to find a point to life/ direction in life. The sleep is one of the most important things imo!
Having a goal is very important, but sometimes we shoot too far. For a lot of people, just getting through the day is a hell of a task. Having to go through treatment, balance work/school, and have a goal on top of that is very intimidating. If you're off the road, you'll need to go over a few bumps and shit to get back on to find your destination. + Show Spoiler +
fuck analogies
