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Back to Raithed's Chapters
EDITOR'S NOTE: Raithed has been temp-banned for a week, so I have personally taken up the task of continuing his story. While my writing may not have Raithed's flair and shrewd usage of tense-changing, word-omitting, and grammar-destroying post-post-postmodernist techniques, I hope it will suffice for this week.
Chapter Nine
Upon realizing the presence of an unknown hand upon your leg you elect to quickly identify it's owner. Upon closer inspection, it is David Yan, AKA Raithed, barely alive. His face is badly mutilated, his body is covered in blood, and his eyes bug out in desperation and agony.
Help... me... I... am I going to die?
Your pity for Raithed's condition is quickly interrupted as a putrid stench reaches your nostrils. You reflexively vomit all over him, and he screams as the hydrochloric acid from your stomach washes over his numerous wounds.
Upon recovering from the exhausting task of exhaustively evacuating the upper half of your digestive system, you inwardly contemplate, did he shit his pants?
A quick scan over the lower region of his body confirms your worst fears.
GODDAMN, KID, you scream out. You instinctively grab your handgun, and point it at him. NOOOOOOOOOOO, he violently pleads, as he hugs your legs with his vomit-covered arms. You silently agree with his sentiment... after all, you only have three bullets left, and using one or two on an unarmed, unthreatening cripple would be unwise, to say the least. Remembering that you have a blunt weapon, you grab your rifle and forcefully ram the butt against Raithed's skull. The effect of this remedy is immediate; Raithed releases your unfortunate legs, and is now writhing upon the ground. A few more liberally-applied rifle butts to the skull render his body immobile, and his face unrecognizable.
You take a few back steps from the grotesque scene and involuntarily shudder. With a few deep breaths to collect yourself, you contemplate whether staying in this hallway is such a great idea.
Poll: What do you want to do?
(Vote): Continue looting in this corridor.
(Vote): Quickly leave, and continue on your quest to find a way off the station.
(Vote): Find some way to incinerate Raithed's putrid corpse.
Voting ends when Raithed is unbanned.
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Laos5494 Posts
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whoops quoted instead of edited
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is awesome32278 Posts
Fire makes everything better.
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hairspray, lighter, hose imo
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SotT how do i join the initiative?
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On March 08 2009 16:40 paper wrote:
SotT how do i join the initiative?
just put "member of the ban raithed initiative" in your sig or profile i guess...
but don't derail this thread, this is about continuing raithed's amazing choose-your-own-adventure story
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
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There's no option for "Start a rave and party like fuck"?
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haha
Spirit does not fuck around with hating people.
what are the odds Raithed is reading this right now?
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Canada7170 Posts
On March 08 2009 16:46 anderoo wrote:
haha
Spirit does not fuck around with hating people.
what are the odds Raithed is reading this right now?
I'd say 100% barring unnatural circumstances.
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Wow! It's just awesome that is started with " Who would win 1v1 RvR...?" then getting ass whopped by SotT through arguments, and derailing the "Ask me about Artosis" then Raithed's name being uncovered to being buried and zombiefied...
Superb!
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Baa?21244 Posts
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i really like the new writer of this blog, much more interesting than raithed.
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I am pleasantly surprised.
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Can't go wrong with burning things.
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Where is the illustration? What am i supposed to do without an illustration?
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On March 08 2009 17:43 Fontong wrote:
Where is the illustration? What am i supposed to do without an illustration?
sorry, i'm not as good an artist as raithed
i'll get one up in a second though
edit: up
i borrowed a bit from one of raithed's illustrations but i'm sure he won't mind
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Maybe we'll meet Rekrul somewhere around here......
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Belgium9950 Posts
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On March 08 2009 16:40 paper wrote:
hairspray, lighter, hose imo
DeathSpank was just temp banned for 1 week by Plexa.
That account was created on 2009-02-09 14:29:10 and had 74 posts.
Reason:
On March 07 2009 16:02 DeathSpank wrote:
hairspray, lighter, and hose
repeat.
This is a terrible, unfunny, post.
You see, its all in the context.
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Hahaha this rivalry is awesome. Well done sir.
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On March 08 2009 19:31 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
Hahaha this rivalry is awesome. Well done sir.
You guys are getting the wrong idea; this isn't about a rivalry, this is about continuing Raithed's masterpiece during the span of his unfortunate ban. I could just leave it alone, but that be irresponsible and unfair to his faithful readers.
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I think because of this we should have the last person to do it hand it off to someone they nominate who is willing. Like after the votes are final, Tuna, nominates one person to continue the epic tale so that we get a lot of diversity in here n_n.
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On March 09 2009 07:28 fanatacist wrote:
I think because of this we should have the last person to do it hand it off to someone they nominate who is willing. Like after the votes are final, Tuna, nominates one person to continue the epic tale so that we get a lot of diversity in here n_n.
Anybody can write the next part I guess, it already seems clear that the winner of the poll is to incinerate Raithed.
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I guess I will since I am bored.
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Baa?21244 Posts
I will eagerly await the next installment.
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You guys are shitting all over this good story~
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United States11393 Posts
On March 23 2009 06:22 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
(also i think raithed just got his roman numerals a bit wrong)
Considering the fact that it is Raithed and with all the homework thread he has made, is it really that surprising that he can't roman numeral?
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I totally missed part eleven! Thanks, it's hillarious. 
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v192/Eateroffools/14c8w90.png)
![[image loading]](http://www.vulomedia.com/images/68641out.gif)
