EPTfrom http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/979427049.html
To the Asian Girl Whom I offended with my Asian-ness - m4w
Date: 2009-01-03, 9:20PM PST
You: Asian, young(ish), cute, petite, left-of-center, cosmopolitan.
Me: The Asian guy you would never dream of giving a second glance.
Hi! I’m so sad that you were offended by my very presence at your favorite boutique coffee shop. Seriously, I was just there to do some work and maybe a bit of reading – I didn’t mean to draw attention to the fact that you too, are also Asian. I was just looking for a quiet place to sit, and the seat by you just happened to be open. It’s not like peed all over you, put my arm around your shoulder, and screamed to all the other patrons in a heavy Chinese accent, “She mine! You all stay away!”
After I sat down and pulled out Said’s Orientalism (no joke), you, in all of your ignorant glory, proceeded to loudly flirt with the nearest non-Asian man with a pulse to dissuade any romantic overtures from me. Lady, I already know you only date white guys; you don’t even have to open your mouth.
Ever since Chad took you out back in high school and made you the envy of all homecoming, you’ve understood the magical power of white boys. Your parents balked until they saw how well Chet treated you and made you so so so happy. You tell yourself you don’t see color lines, and that you’re ending racism by only dating white guys – and you give yourself a little pat on the back every night before dreaming of waking up with beautiful blonde hair. You’ve even thrown in a black guy or two, just to get back at daddy. Asian guys? Like, gag me with a spoon!
Hey, I applaud you. You’re totally progressive. Never mind all that bukakke stuff Jeremy keeps wanting to do (I wonder where he gets these ideas?). No need to worry about Scotty’s browser history pointing to asianteensluts.com. Totally normal! What red-blooded American man doesn’t want to bang a Japanese high school girl?
Honestly, if I were in your stilettos, I’d do the same thing. If white girls were all over me ‘cause of my nice, smooth skin, my mad computer skills and wispy peach fuzz, I’d ride that white stallion to all glory.
But since I’m 6’2”, 200 lbs. with 4% body fat and a PhD, I guess I’ll have to settle for one of our more racist Asian sistahs.
Location: Westside
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 979427049
Edit: Wow the comments on reddit are all about starcraft for some reason + Show Spoiler +
RobinReborn 109 points 8 hours ago[-]
Don't you know? Asians all have a hivemind that allows the good asians to read the bad asians mind telepathically.
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flumphead 27 points 6 hours ago[-]
Am I the only one reading this comment who immediately thinks of the Zerg?
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Khendroc 81 points 6 hours ago[-]
I'm always thinking of the Zerg.
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relic2279 44 points 6 hours ago[-]
It's always good to be ready and alert for a Zerg rush.
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elegylegacy 25 points 5 hours ago[-]
No one is adequately prepared for the Zerg rush.
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charlesesl 12 points 3 hours ago[-]
Bunker, marines, firebat, tank.
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Insolent1 2 points 1 hour ago[-]
Guardians
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eaturbrainz 6 points 2 hours ago[-]
Naw, you're thinking of the Spanish Inquisition.
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Defektiv 2 points 2 hours ago[-]
But everyone that's played knows to expect it.
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MasterRex 9 points 4 hours ago[-]
It's always good to be ready and alert for a Zerg lunch.
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jtitor 7 points 5 hours ago[-]
This is true.
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ryanrhee90 17 points 5 hours ago[-]
"You require more minerals."
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naysayer123 7 points 1 hour ago[-]
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
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eyekantspel 10 points 5 hours ago[-]
kekeke
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dishboy14 5 points 4 hours ago[-]
You require more vespian gas!
Don't you know? Asians all have a hivemind that allows the good asians to read the bad asians mind telepathically.
permalinkparentreply
flumphead 27 points 6 hours ago[-]
Am I the only one reading this comment who immediately thinks of the Zerg?
permalinkparentreply
Khendroc 81 points 6 hours ago[-]
I'm always thinking of the Zerg.
permalinkparentreply
relic2279 44 points 6 hours ago[-]
It's always good to be ready and alert for a Zerg rush.
permalinkparentreply
elegylegacy 25 points 5 hours ago[-]
No one is adequately prepared for the Zerg rush.
permalinkparentreply
charlesesl 12 points 3 hours ago[-]
Bunker, marines, firebat, tank.
permalinkparentreply
Insolent1 2 points 1 hour ago[-]
Guardians
permalinkparentreply
eaturbrainz 6 points 2 hours ago[-]
Naw, you're thinking of the Spanish Inquisition.
permalinkparentreply
Defektiv 2 points 2 hours ago[-]
But everyone that's played knows to expect it.
permalinkparentreply
MasterRex 9 points 4 hours ago[-]
It's always good to be ready and alert for a Zerg lunch.
permalinkparentreply
jtitor 7 points 5 hours ago[-]
This is true.
permalinkparentreply
ryanrhee90 17 points 5 hours ago[-]
"You require more minerals."
permalinkparentreply
naysayer123 7 points 1 hour ago[-]
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
permalinkparentreply
eyekantspel 10 points 5 hours ago[-]
kekeke
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dishboy14 5 points 4 hours ago[-]
You require more vespian gas!
FML.
