Most of my middle and high school years centered around a girl, Jenna, whom I was attracted to ever since I saw her in 6th grade. (STALKER!!) We were on and off again normal friends and BF/GF at times because of other silly adventures I won't get into.
During the last month or so of my Senior year, there was alot of Senior's going around TP'ing things. Us Seniors wanted to celebrate our "freedom" from High School. We were TP'ing teacher's cars, homes, cats, dogs, small children. Town Hall. Fellow Students. Whatever. The Police were actually put out on alert and to detain people caught doing it.
Now I thought my car would be would be safe from all the shenanigans inside my garage and because I lived out in the county on a farm. I'm almost a 30min. drive from my school. There is NO WAY anybody would come out and TP my car. Not to mention none of my friends really knew where I lived because if I ever had a party, I would do it somewhere in town.
So back to how Jenna is involved in all this. Her dad lived down the road from my house. Down the road being about an 8min. drive. Anyways, she was one of the few to know where I lived because my dad and her dad are really good friends.
So her and another friend of mine got together, drove to my house, snuck into the Garage (Which was detached from the house) and TP'd the car while I was probably inside playing StarCraft.
I woke up at 5am, me and my twin got ready to leave and we opened the door to find our car totally covered in TP. Not only covered, but the inside of the car was filled with the stuff as well. They even went as far as saran wrapping the entire car as well. It was good work. Took us 15min. to clean it all up.
So now Derek (my twin) and I are mad. We thought our car would be safe. We had no idea who did it until I started brain storming. The day before my friend mentioned something about "coming to see me". Which was odd because he didn't know where I lived. I let it go though because I thought he was just being weird.
The only person that was friends with my friend that knew where I lived was Jenna. Derek and I grabbed our own roles of TP and headed out. We used to go to an early morning bible study class, as did Jenna and her twin sister. We arrived very late and decided to TP Jenna's car. Her sister, Laura, was late as well and caught us in the act. We told her not to tell Jenna as she went inside. About 20 seconds later Jenna came running out yelling at us. "Oh poor me! Why me! You horrible persons you!" She then went back inside acting upset but we knew that she couldn't really stop us since we had almost finished anyways. To get revenge on Laura, we decided to TP her car too. SHE WAS PISSED when we left the study group and was yelling at us in all seriousness. I never really liked Laura so I felt like that today was going to be a great day.
I was wrong. As I left to go to lunch, Jenna had put peanut butter under my door handle and it had just rained so it was the grossest thing I had EVER touched in my entire life. Yeach.... I drove to my sister's house and asked for some lard. Drove back to school and put lard under ALL her door handle, her trunk handle, and on her windshield wipers. (Raining remember?) As I was leaving school, I could tell that she got the lard under all the door handles but there was a huge smear across her windshield which she was trying to wipe off with paper towels. I gave her a wink as I walked by and she just growled. (Lard is very hard to get off things, even if you use water.) I can't wait till she discovers the lard on her trunk handle. Kekekekeke.
Next morning I awake and find that my car... Was covered... IN TAMPONS and PADS. They were like, GLUED to my car and covered in Ketchup. GROSSSSSS. They also TP'd the inside of the car again. So after cleaning the mess, I'm just thinking to myself. "Ok. It's war." I run downstairs, grab my feather pillow (I loved that pillow), grab this HUGE tub of syrup we had in the fridge and a black dry erase marker. During lunch that day, me and a friend of mine, covered Jenna's car with syrup and feathers. COVERED. Then we wrote on the windows with the marker just random stuff like, "Haha! Owned!" and on the front I wrote "Chic Mobile". While in the process of finishing, we heard voices and peeked over the hood of the car to see Jenna and her friends walking to the car. They got out of class early to go to lunch!!!! (My school had two different lunch hours.) So we hit the dirt and crawled under a nearby truck. I then I heard the most satisfying sound. I heard Jenna scream: "I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!"
They left and drove off in another car and me and my friend were high fiving each other. There was NO way she could top what I just did to her. Actually, I was nominated "Best TP'er" at Prom for that stunt. Was quite an honor. Anyways, the Police did question me later if I knew anything about what happened to her car. She told them that it was ok and not to worry but Police are fags and had a list of "known TP'ers" and were going around questioning people.
At the end of the day I see my car is covered AGAIN in tampons and pads with ketchup. More then before if possible. Luckily I locked the car this time so nothing was inside. So now I'm picking tampons and pads off my car in the school parking lot as everybody is going home. I was quite the scene and on the butt end of a few gay jokes. I just remembered cars instead of faces for future targets. I also laughed my ass off as Jenna drove off in her car and feathers were just flying everywhere as she went down the road.
So now I'm stumped. I can't just repeat the same trick I did on her because that would be lame and I was not lame. (Besides I was out of pillows. I still needed to go buy a new one before my mom noticed.)
So me and my friend, Tiffany, went to supermarket to try and just use our creative imaginations to think of something. Then I saw them. Lubricated condoms. Yes, it would be perfect. I bought a big box of them and as we headed up the checkout stand, Tiffany said she wanted the keys to my car. I said: "Why?" She then coughed and pointed to the box and said: "I'm not going through the checkout line with you while those are in your hands." I was like: "Ohhhhh." and gave her the keys.
I got home and who to greet me but my mother. I love my mother. We have a very good relationship and she is always curious as to what I'm up to. Naturally she asks what's in the bag. I told her a new pillow! She gave me a confused look and I produced the pillow as evidence. (I DID buy one at the market.) I went downstairs and left the bag sitting near the steps as to not forget it in the morning and took my new pillow into my room and started playing some SC.
About 20min. later I hear a scream. "BRENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And it was my mom's "oh shit you're in trouble" kind of scream. I walked out of my room and my mom is standing there. With the box of condoms in her hand. Now my mother is a VERY hardcore christen. No sex, drugs, rock and roll yadda yadda. So this was a very bad situation I was in. Luckily my father wasn't home.
So it took me half an hour to calm my mom down as to what was happening and what I was doing, etc. etc. etc. She was very deadset against putting condoms on Jenna's car. She told me if I did that then I would be the one to clean it up. (How are condoms worse then tampons and pads covered in ketchup I will never know.) So I eventually gave in and threw them in the trash. She picked the box back up and told me to return the box and get a refund.
I'm a pussy when it comes to my mom.
I took the box back. That was SO fucking embarrassing.
So I finally settled on getting some cans of silly string and the next day I wrote "You Win" on her windshield and covered her entire car in silly string. So while I claimed that "she won" I still got the last punch in since she still had to clean up a mess and couldn't retaliate. Those were the rules we the Senior's made so people who didn't want to fight back didn't have to. Usually it was spoken my word of mouth, but I took the creative route.
Anyways. I have more stories like that but that's all for now. I also have pictures of Jenna's car covered in Syrup and Feathers.
Pictures. Jenna took these after she got home. Most of the feathers are gone because they blew off.
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