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ok so i LOVE the elliptical machine. i go for like 60-90 minutes every time i use it. it feels fucking AMAZING
however, it makes my asshole sore and raw. i have NO clue how to stop this, save for holding my buttcheeks apart while i'm doing this. anyone had anything similar happen? advice? thoughts?
god DAMN i love doing it so much i'll never give it up but SHIT its painful :[
   
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Maybe a moist sponge jammed between the cheeks and up against the asshole so that no rubbing occurs?
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maybe you have a bad posture when your moving your legs? get a mirror behind you and check to see if your ass is flying in all sorts of directions and try to stop if you do i guess
i used to use that thing, and the stepper machine all the time when i went to the gym
do you get sore quads or anything or just ass? maybe you have underdeveloped thighs and your butt is taking the load?? no idea sorry
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On December 01 2008 15:37 JohnColtrane wrote: maybe you have a bad posture when your moving your legs? get a mirror behind you and check to see if your ass is flying in all sorts of directions and try to stop if you do i guess
i used to use that thing, and the stepper machine all the time when i went to the gym
do you get sore quads or anything or just ass? maybe you have underdeveloped thighs and your butt is taking the load?? no idea sorry
youre misreading
its not a muscle pain. my ASSHOLE is sore. like if you were on a car trip for 1500 miles w/ no AC and no stopping wearing the same pair of boxers you wore yesterday sort of sore ass. like after you've had diarrhea for a week and your anus gets all dry. i get THAT
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Korea (South)3086 Posts
LMFAOFMALFO omg perhaps the immense friction between your asscheeks is causing this very odd situation
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did you lock the door when you were asleep?
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So a son came home after his first time having sex. He told his dad and his dad, all happy, grabbed two cans of beers. The dad then asked "How was it? If you have any questions, ask me" and the son asked "How long will by butt hurt for?"
XDDDDDDDDD
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On December 01 2008 15:31 Day[9] wrote: ok so i LOVE the elliptical machine. i go for like 60-90 minutes every time i use it. it feels fucking AMAZING
however, it makes my asshole sore and raw. i have NO clue how to stop this, save for holding my buttcheeks apart while i'm doing this. anyone had anything similar happen? advice? thoughts?
god DAMN i love doing it so much i'll never give it up but SHIT its painful :[ Man, maybe I'm the only one who's never heard of this "elliptical machine" before, but to me that was brilliantly vague.
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then the dad drank the two cans of beer himself...
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Sorry I don't quite know, but I'll give you some advice:
Stay away from Falcynn.
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Must be something with your form, I do elliptical shit like an hour a day everyday and from being a total noob to it have never ever had any pains resulting from it, especially not a raw asshole
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damn fireass always comes when i eat them jalapenos
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
On December 01 2008 15:51 fonger wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2008 15:31 Day[9] wrote: ok so i LOVE the elliptical machine. i go for like 60-90 minutes every time i use it. it feels fucking AMAZING
however, it makes my asshole sore and raw. i have NO clue how to stop this, save for holding my buttcheeks apart while i'm doing this. anyone had anything similar happen? advice? thoughts?
god DAMN i love doing it so much i'll never give it up but SHIT its painful :[ Man, maybe I'm the only one who's never heard of this "elliptical machine" before, but to me that was brilliantly vague.
think of that round vehicle they had in that one southpark episode.
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United States3824 Posts
I think you should talk to a doctor. or someone who works at the gym. Or the guy that keeps sneaking into your bedroom while you sleep
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Guys quit with the gay jokes. This is can obviously be solved with a moist sponge.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
lol what the fuck? get some sort of gym shorts with inner elastic lining and attempt to give yourself a huge wedgie to prevent the friction? i don't know
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
i know EXACTLY what you are experiencing and the only solution is baby powder before workout and Under Armour
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What Kennigit said is rite
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have you been working out with Falcynn?
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On December 01 2008 16:34 Rekrul wrote: lol what the fuck? get some sort of gym shorts with inner elastic lining and attempt to give yourself a huge wedgie to prevent the friction? i don't know
boy that sounds comfortable
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might as well told him to wear a thong then loool
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
hahahah would u rather want 1 hour of discomfort or a burning asshole all day?
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Braavos36372 Posts
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you gotta get rid of the hair in your ass crack.
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On December 01 2008 16:44 ATeddyBear wrote: have you been working out with Falcynn? LOL.
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shave + huge amounts of lube XD
I bet this makes some nice sounds, too...
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Valhalla18444 Posts
pay an immigrant to hold your cheeks apart and blow on your asshole so it doesnt overheat
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Hong Kong20321 Posts
On December 01 2008 20:26 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: pay an immigrant to hold your cheeks apart and blow on your asshole so it doesnt overheat
LOOOOOOL im at the university library computer lab i nearly rofled out loud
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actually the hair is there to reduce friction, same goes for the hair in your armpits
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On December 01 2008 22:29 iN.Dez wrote: actually the hair is there to reduce friction, same goes for the hair in your armpits Someone registered to give advice about anal friction, that's special.
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Anyways, try some cortisone cream after your workout.
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On December 01 2008 16:03 Insane Lane wrote: Sorry I don't quite know, but I'll give you some advice:
Stay away from Falcynn.
On December 01 2008 18:46 Centric wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2008 16:44 ATeddyBear wrote: have you been working out with Falcynn? LOL. Don't listen to these idiots, if you need help just give me a call 
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This. Grab a handfull and throw it between your ass cheeks, thighs, and anywhere else there is chafing or anything. also, compression shorts are awesome
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Did you take a big shit sometime before the workout? Could also be an explosive fart maybe. My theory is that it ripped your asshole a bit, and the workout stretched the wound further.
Dr. Fgsvsd advises no ass-straineous workout and NO ANAL SEX for the next 3 days, young man!
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On December 01 2008 22:29 iN.Dez wrote: actually the hair is there to reduce friction, same goes for the hair in your armpits
in this case, you should get some rogaine
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Under Armour Compression Shorts - Short Version.
Best stuff ever.
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you should get yourself checked, AIDS is highly contagious
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On December 01 2008 15:42 SilverskY wrote: LMFAOFMALFO omg perhaps the immense friction between your asscheeks is causing this very odd situation AHAhha yeah that's probably why...
I think it's good if you can work some of that fat off ur ass, so that they'll rub into each other less
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Perhaps you need to wipe with wet wipes after you shit. If you're not getting every last molecule of shit off that puppy it'll get raw when you sweat.
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On December 01 2008 20:26 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: pay an immigrant to hold your cheeks apart and blow on your asshole so it doesnt overheat
hahahahahahahahahaah fuckkkkkkkkkk I laughed so hard at this
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On December 01 2008 20:26 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: pay an immigrant to hold your cheeks apart and blow on your asshole so it doesnt overheat The crotchmaster has spoken.
Close thread.
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On December 01 2008 20:26 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: pay an immigrant to hold your cheeks apart and blow on your asshole so it doesnt overheat Holy shit I just burst out laughing so hard when I read this.... what a fuckin visual hahaha.
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On December 29 2008 14:58 Brett wrote:Show nested quote +On December 01 2008 20:26 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote: pay an immigrant to hold your cheeks apart and blow on your asshole so it doesnt overheat Holy shit I just burst out laughing so hard when I read this.... what a fuckin visual hahaha. sorry about the bump
but
this can't be completed without a ms paint...
can s/o draw it pls ? i can't draw shit lol
+ Show Spoiler + but i can do a litle ascii art
Day[9]............Imigrant ||| ...................||| vv....................vv
(~..~) |////| |////|.......(x..x) |_x_)....( ) o ( )
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Maybe you just need to make sure to wipe better when you take dumps? My hypothesis is that tiny microscopic particle's of poo are stuck there and are having a sand-papery effect from the rubbing of your butt cheeks. Just a thought
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