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Okay. I have to begin this from the start. Just to note, this is something about my personal life and I've been thinking through this for a while now. I just want to see what other people have to say about this. If this violates forum rules then it can be deleted.
It goes back last year around March. I met this girl and I really liked her. We talked for a day or so.
But after that, I became afraid and I kinda avoided her because I don't have a reason to. Its a really weird thing to have done and its my dire regret right now.
It didn't really hit me as hard until say, ~6 months ago. I started to think about her alot and it got the best of me. My starcraft play has been horrible. My BOs are so screwed because I think about her so much.
I kept silent about it. I never told anyone.
At some point, she really appeared to have interest in me. She always looked at me when I was afar. I would glance back and never did anything.
Then a day came when it was raining and I was going home. The path to the bus-stop that I usually take doesn't have a shelter so I detoured to the other sheltered route. Things kinda changed then.
I saw her with another guy at the bus-stop. It kinda broke my heart. I didn't stop wondering why. I was in the dark about whether or not she was with someone else. Because if she was, why'd she look at me like that?
I don't have enough space and time to say everything that happened inbetween. That happened about 5 months ago or more. I can't really remember. But right now, we're going to graduate this Friday.
I've been in this huge storm to do something. I've woken up in the middle of the night with words that burn like fire in my bones. I pen them on paper and decide to give them to her. But I keep putting it off.
Just 2 weeks ago, she was on the same bus as I was. She was talking to a friend of hers and they somehow got to the topic of their relationships. Turns out, she has a boyfriend already.
I have no intention to break them up(why would I?). I got home to throw those letters away. But 2 weeks later just 2 nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night again to write her another.
So right now, I'm stranded in a dilema, filled with contempt, about what I should do. The voices inside are even. The voice that says "No" is just as strong as the voice that says "Yes".
That's for a reason because its all about choice now. But I don't know what to do.
So what do you guys have to say?
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Whats up with you avoiding her, is it because you want her to come on to you?
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Russian Federation4447 Posts
I would stop being so needy, it's a huge turnoff.
Move on and forget about it.
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Definitely blog.
When you look back on this you're going to realize how silly you were. But if you have such a driving passion for something, go for it, always.
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On October 08 2008 00:10 il0seonpurpose wrote:
Whats up with you avoiding her, is it because you want her to come on to you?
I can't provide a good answer to that because I still haven't found the answer to the same question I've been asking myself ever since.
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ouch that sucks. the person i like just got together with someone on the weekend and i really thought she liked me as well. i just kind of went along with the "there are plenty of fish in the sea" saying cause you really can't do anything about it to split them up unless you are just a selfish asshole. but then again i didn't have these middle-of-the-night writing sessions
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On October 08 2008 00:11 Tien wrote:
I would stop being so needy, it's a huge turnoff.
Move on and forget about it.
This...
How old are you?
Reading your post it doesn't even seem like you know her personally... so why are you so infatuated with her..?
There's lots of girls in the world =D
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How old are you?
And have you really only talked to her a couple of times in the past coupe of months?
Let it go if that's the case...
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On October 08 2008 00:14 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
How old are you?
And have you really only talked to her a couple of times in the past coupe of months?
Let it go if that's the case...
I'm 18.
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On October 08 2008 00:14 Grobyc wrote:
ouch that sucks. the person i like just got together with someone on the weekend and i really thought she liked me as well. i just kind of went along with the "there are plenty of fish in the sea" saying cause you really can't do anything about it to split them up unless you are just a selfish asshole. but then again i didn't have these middle-of-the-night writing sessions
Hahaaha.
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ID MAKE A REALLY BORING, SHITTY TOPIC IN GENERAL (NOT EVEN IN BLOGS) ABOUT HOW IM A WHINEY BITCH WHO DIDNT HAVE THE BALLS TO GO THROUGH WITH SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THEN ID PROBABLY UNPLUG MY COMPUTER AND STICK MY DICK IN THE ELECTRICAL SOCKET.
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you really have to try to think with a clear head and not let your emotions mess with your judgement. tell yourself that you will feel 10x better as soon as you just move on and let it go, and that there are lots of other girls out there. people get too hung up on a specific person being "the one" because their emotions cloud their view of the future. there are a million "the ones" out there
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On October 08 2008 00:22 Hawk wrote:
ID MAKE A REALLY BORING, SHITTY TOPIC IN GENERAL (NOT EVEN IN BLOGS) ABOUT HOW IM A WHINEY BITCH WHO DIDNT HAVE THE BALLS TO GO THROUGH WITH SOMETHING THAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THEN ID PROBABLY UNPLUG MY COMPUTER AND STICK MY DICK IN THE ELECTRICAL SOCKET. how do u have 2x my posts what the fuck i was around before joehoe
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Belgium8305 Posts
welcome to the blogosphere
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im in front of the computer most of the day because of work/school. ive got haji-disease
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On October 08 2008 00:14 Grobyc wrote:
"there are plenty of fish in the sea" On October 08 2008 00:15 JMave wrote:
Doesn't' really help when your in the middle of a desert. 
On October 08 2008 00:14 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
How old are you?
And have you really only talked to her a couple of times in the past coupe of months?
Let it go if that's the case...
I'm 18.
Wow, you're not really emotionally mature, do the best/worse case scenario. Seeing that you like writing notes in the middle of the night make a list of what the best or worst that can happen. You can give her the note if you want to, but I'm not really sure what that will accomplish seeing that she has a boyfriend. Best thing you can do is just let it go. I mean seriously you've only talked to her a couple of times, how much do you really know about this girl that makes you so interested in her by just interchanging a couple of words?
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You wait too long. Why did you quit after day 1. She thinks you don't have confidence wich is right or you lost interest in her or found someone else. Maybe you were in the friendzone. You can learn from what happened getting her in the rebound is rare. Move on.
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go play starcraft, ur bo is pretty much screwed
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She most likely isn't going to break up with her boyfriend for you.
Scrap that.
I can almost guarantee she is not going to break up with her boyfriend for you.
Knowing that you do the thing that will get you over her the fastest. Whether that is giving her all the letters and having her smile sadly and say no or just forgetting about her only you know.
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You seem to be very similar to me in respect to this sorta stuff. Definitely don't hand her a note or anything like that, in my experiences this makes you feel ten times worse afterwards. My best advice would be to just take your time meeting other people. You have to expand a relationship before it can get deeper. And it doesn't seem like you've done this.
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moving on seems to be the best option
if you really like her
then be happy that she's happy
and if u cant be happy for her
then she's not the right girl for you anyway
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Let it be haha...
I figured that girls with boyfriends are more attractive anyways so just get used to it. 
There are more to check out, don't dwell on the taken my friend!
And think about her some more, all her attractiveness might be you over idolizing her.
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It is your vanity that is crying out, not your heart. You don't love her, you merely desire her. You have allowed your imagination to be captivated by her delicate figure, the curves of her body, and the charm of her physiognomy, so that you have come to feel that she is somehow necessary for your happiness. But happiness is by no means the goal of love, and the sooner you come to understand this, the sooner you will forget about her. True love expresses itself in compassion alone, in our willingness to suffer for the sake of another. Anything we call "love" that is not compassion is nothing other than selfish desire. If you truly yearn to experience love, I would advise you to find a 250-pound unattractive woman who all her life has felt nothing but envy, misery, and the contempt and cruelty of others, and devote yourself to her.
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Don't obsess so much about someone, especially when you hardly even know them.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Don't worry about it.
There may have been an opportunity, but it passed you by. Look for other girls. You're in a really unhealthy cycle of thought right now, and you need to try your best to stop it.
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Hmm....
personally, I'd wager you're screwed. (Sorry to be so direct).
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Oh man, OP is so me. Dude, you need to just live your life out. Take what life gives you, and make zealots with it (ok bad joke). But seriously though. The girl is not worth it. I found that out the hard way. Chances are, even if she broke up with her boyfriend, it'd be a long shot to say she would magically like you all the sudden. Find a new girl, say hi, smile and crack some jokes. Soon you'll be well on your way to becoming the next Hugh Hefner (save some girls for the rest of us. ;_;)
GL HF, and remember the best cure for a broken heart, is a sexy girlfriend.
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Thanks alot guys. You've definately opened up my perspective. Thanks.
But just one thing though.
I don't claim to have loved her in anyway. I've known that since the very beginning. I just thought maybe I'd let her know but nah I think its just better off moving on.
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I just thought about it through just now while I was at home and I'm actually quite puzzled to the way things turned out.
I've decided to move on and I'm not really turning back but its just something that I'm wondering why.
I first met her last year and she started to show interest in me this year. She kept looking at me. I really thought she liked me. But I found out that she had a boyfriend a few weeks later at the bus-stop.
Why's that?
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I think you've got it all wrong. Just because someone glances at you a lot doesn't mean they're interested in an intimate relationship. In fact, even if they smile, wave and say hi every time they see you doesn't mean they don't already have a boyfriend.
I have a feeling you don't have a single female friend...
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You missed your window, it sounds like. And this stuff about writing letters and feeling such feverish passion despite hardly talking and not expressing romantic interest is just too much. You should step lightly into romance. If you come on strong, it will often scare people away. Even when two people really are attracted to each other and available, falling too fast can feel very chaotic and disconcerting, even if it turns out well.
Don't worry, I think a lot of us have stepped too lightly at first, while having a monsterous crush. Learn from it. In the future, when conversation flows well and there is a positive energy, express romantic interest right away, by suggesting another get together, like going to get some food, or doing some activity, or hanging out. If THAT goes well, hold her hand, kiss her, etc. (I usually ask first - works fine for me).
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EPT
