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Hey TL, I could use some help.
This year is going to be a "rebuilding year" for my speech and debate team. Myself and another girl are the only people on the team who were on the team before. By far I have the most experience.
So the problem is, both our coaches only coach part time and have to deal with other classes besides, so they can't afford to spend a lot of time with the team. Last year as a result, I spent a lot of time preparing on my own. If you've ever competed in forensics, just realize I was doing 4 events including debate and extemp, so that was a lot of work. I did well considering, but I feel like I could've done a lot better if everybody had more encouragement to do their share, show up to practice, etc.
Since I've been around the longest now, I feel like I'm in a position to take the initiative in organizing the team better. I am pretty good at organizing things and taking charge, although I only have moderate amounts of leadership experience, so I make a lot of mistakes. And there's no official "team captain" position, and I think it'd be really arrogant to request something like that from my coaches.
What are some things I can do to keep everybody motivated and doing their share? Like I don't just mean tangible things like "have everybody do this and this and that", but also in terms of attitude and how I should approach people. Keep in mind all these people have to do get an A is go to tournaments, they dont have to practice or pitch in. Still, we tend to be a competitive bunch, and who doesn't love to win?
+ Show Spoiler +Some things I think are important: I'd love to hear your thoughts on these
1. Always take an optimistic and understanding approach. Don't show frustration unless it's really really warranted.
2. Set an example. Do my own share, and more. Basically if everybody else is doing 10%, I feel like I should be doing 20%.
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Oh and another thing there's this girl who I really don't like and I frigging hate her. She insists on doing things her own way, and gets very antagonistic when we ask her to share her work. How should I deal with this? Should I force her to do her share? Or just let her go her merry way? Wouldn't that set a bad example for the rest of the team, especially since she's been around for a while? Should I make an effort to engage with her just to keep up appearances?
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On August 05 2008 10:35 ahrara_ wrote:
Oh and another thing there's this girl who I really don't like and I frigging hate her. She insists on doing things her own way, and gets very antagonistic when we ask her to share her work. How should I deal with this? Should I force her to do her share? Or just let her go her merry way? Wouldn't that set a bad example for the rest of the team, especially since she's been around for a while? Should I make an effort to engage with her just to keep up appearances?
Force her to do her share.
I know it isn't very popular, but as captain of my schools debate team, drum major of the band, and president of academic league, the "Fuhrer" approach usually works best, as far as productivity is concerned.
You have to not care what they think of you personally and only think what will be best for the teams success.
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I think the most important part of any long-term team is mutual trust. Everything else you want follows if you can achieve that. Not the only way, and maybe not the easiest, but I find it the safest.
This girl you have a problem with - let her know. Tell her why you think it's a problem, and suggest how you think she should do things differently. Listen to why she thinks her behavior is justified or appropriate.
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get familiar with people
take interest in their personalities and views
let them know that you care. They will respond the same way
this isn't from some psychological brochure, this is some real life experience from regular work environment
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
Theres a couple areas you are talking about here and i have like 3 years of leadership classes that im going to pour into your blog when i get up tm. im evening pming myself to remind myself ha
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What can I do to establish that trust? How do I use it to get people to work?
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On August 05 2008 10:52 Kennigit wrote:
Theres a couple areas you are talking about here and i have like 3 years of leadership classes that im going to pour into your blog when i get up tm. im evening pming myself to remind myself ha
Thanks dude. Totally appreciate it =)))))
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On August 05 2008 10:35 ahrara_ wrote:
Oh and another thing there's this girl who I really don't like and I frigging hate her. She insists on doing things her own way, and gets very antagonistic when we ask her to share her work. How should I deal with this? Should I force her to do her share? Or just let her go her merry way? Wouldn't that set a bad example for the rest of the team, especially since she's been around for a while? Should I make an effort to engage with her just to keep up appearances?
you need to be on her good side. she and you probably have a mindset that you two can't get along. in fact, that might not the case at all. therefore, what she does, and how she does something will seem contrary to what you want/need. its a dangerous cycle that will drive you two to annoy each other.
to solve this.. tell her that she is talented and have a natural edge in speech and debate. tell her that she has a nack for impressing/influencing others and encourage her to do so. NEVER critisize her. NEVER force your will upon her.
you can also find out what her goals are, show/tell her that working togeather will accomplish her goals. getting into college seems like a common goal. if she wants to get into a good school, tell her that colleges LOVE leadership potential. if she "helps lead", teach, and share her experience with the relatively noob debate team then she will have a GREAT story to tell during interviews.
im sure you will do fine as long as you follow a couple of sayings...
"if you flatter me, i will not believe you
if you critisize me, i will dislike you
if you encourage me, i will always remember you"
gl
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Just somethign I want to emphasize: I'm not the official "captain". There's no such position. I have to earn the right to bark orders, and that's the part I'm most nervous about. "earning their respect" is an obvious prerequisite. But what is the best way to go about doing that?
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On August 05 2008 10:56 itzme_petey wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2008 10:35 ahrara_ wrote:
Oh and another thing there's this girl who I really don't like and I frigging hate her. She insists on doing things her own way, and gets very antagonistic when we ask her to share her work. How should I deal with this? Should I force her to do her share? Or just let her go her merry way? Wouldn't that set a bad example for the rest of the team, especially since she's been around for a while? Should I make an effort to engage with her just to keep up appearances? you need to be on her good side. she and you probably have a mindset that you two can't get along. in fact, that might not the case at all. therefore, what she does, and how she does something will seem contrary to what you want/need. its a dangerous cycle that will drive you two to annoy each other. to solve this.. tell her that she is talented and have a natural edge in speech and debate. tell her that she has a nack for impressing/influencing others and encourage her to do so. NEVER critisize her. NEVER force your will upon her. you can also find out what her goals are, show/tell her that working togeather will accomplish her goals. getting into college seems like a common goal. if she wants to get into a good school, tell her that colleges LOVE leadership potential. if she "helps lead", teach, and share her experience with the relatively noob debate team then she will have a GREAT story to tell during interviews. im sure you will do fine as long as you follow a couple of sayings... "if you flatter me, i will not believe you if you critisize me, i will dislike you if you encourage me, i will always remember you" gl
While I wouldn't take that advice usually, it seems appropriate for this girl. She's really sensitive to criticism. She never takes responsibility for her own mistakes -- it's always someone else's fault. I don't know if I should outright lie to her. She's NOT talented... she's not very good at all. But she's there and she's competing :\.
Good point about the goals. That's somethign I will keep in mind for the rest of the team too.
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Grab her by her neck be like,listen bitch you're gonna help,if she says no slap her in her fucking head. Repeat until she helps!
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Is the team roster set in stone? If not, try to recruit some competitive people to the team so you have a solid foundation of active and motivated members. That will make your life easier and encourage any slackers on the team to step up.
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On August 05 2008 11:14 arb wrote:
Grab her by her neck be like,listen bitch you're gonna help,if she says no slap her in her fucking head. Repeat until she helps!
lol
really i think you should lay down your point of view and try to support it, try to make them understand, but if they refuse to do it i dont see anything you can do since theres no official captain
unless you feel like splitting some wigs
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Korea (South)5638 Posts
Tell her you're the leader, don't be aggressive but show that you are in charge. Have that commanding voice, not all the time but if someone's getting lazy or whatnot.
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read "how to win friends and influence people" by dale carnegie.
the other book titled "the leader in you" might be the perfect one for u too.
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Hey il0soneonpurpose we didn't mean to ban you in that 2v2 earlier TT.
Try talking to everyone at once and tell them you would like to attempt to take responsibility and if they have any ideas just let you know. Im sure they wouldn't mind if someone took charge of the club..
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On August 05 2008 13:39 il0seonpurpose wrote:
Tell her you're the leader, don't be aggressive but show that you are in charge. Have that commanding voice, not all the time but if someone's getting lazy or whatnot.
Sorry, but I'd reccomend against using the "I'm the leader" card. Just because you are the leader doesn't neccessarily mean its best to follow what you do.
Instead, I'd figure out why she is withholding information from the team. If it is for some petty reason, then politely point out that if she shared her information it would greatly benefit her teammates. You also mentioned that you do not like her, I'd reccomend that you forget about those feelings when you approach her and act objectively.
Thats my 2 cents.
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EPT
