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Is your zergling 'love' worthy?

Blogs > parkin
Post a Reply
parkin
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
1090 Posts
April 01 2008 14:26 GMT
#1
Throughout my single life, I've killed countless zerglings because they were fun at one point but not any more, kissed almost as many because they were cute and went on to do more with quite a few because we had great chemistry. And if a zergling was not only fun, cute and a turn-on, but also loved my other minions, cleaned up after himself and told me I looked beautiful even if I was wearing sweats — well, I usually decided I was in love.

But it turned out, some of those zerglings weren't worthy. Why? Because they didn't love me back. Though painfully obvious, it's taken me altogether too long to realize that a zergling who doesn't share my deep feelings doesn't deserve them. Now that's my number one requirement. But beyond that essential point, what else makes a zergling"loveworthy?"

"Everyone is worthy of being loved — just sometimes by somebody else. Somebody horribly desperate," jokes Carmen, a marketing coordinator in San Diego, Calif. "Some zerglings are for fun, some are convenient, some are stepping stones, some are huge wastes of time. You just weed through until one sneaks up and knocks you flat — and you knock it flat too. For me, metabolic boost, adrenal glanes and armor/attack upgrades is a sure sign that I'm at least on the verge of falling in love. Either that or I REALLY need to see a doctor."

How about you? Think you're in love and wondering if that zergling is worthy? We asked frequent zergling owners/killers, gamers in content relationships, and experts for the top signs that a zergling is indeed "loveworthy." Before allowing the "L" word to pop into your head or out of your lips, look for these signs:

1. You bring it home to make it feel uncomfortable with your parents who seem to want to eat it and/or make it a doctor.

2. Things that usually drive you nuts or gross you out suddenly seem trivial. For example, if it's runnning past you to kill some workers, and you don't want to kill it right there, that's a pretty good sign you're in love.

3. It's a great friend.

4. There's a big grin on your face whenever you think or talk about it.

5. You can count on it. It's consistent, trustworthy and honest. It keeps promises and commitments. It also likes to dance infront your units.

6. It sticks around while you wait for the other expansion to be set up. And while you stall, figuring this is too good to be true and are sure that it'll eventually mess up or turn into a troll, it just keeps getting better. In fact, you suck at being a gamer because you're looking for a reason to make it not work if you actually think this.

7. You're covered with hives, sitting in your Aveeno bath, and it asks you in all seriousness to do something that will put you in complete control and wear the sweaters you knitted it.

8. You've given up your "drama queen" crown. Since you know where you stand with it and are comfortable with it being your absolute pussy-whipped bitch, you don't need the crown anymore.

9. It makes the relationship a priority despite the fact that all zerglings are committed you need one that is EXTRA committed because you can change zerglings to be like that. Really, you can. That's why you're trying, isn't it?

10. It doesn't run away if you kick it in a rage of PMS. Rather, it'll be there to listen to your bullshit reasonings that you produced AFTER you kicked it.

11. It is your ho now.

12. Your connection is so strong that you don't even have to ask yourself this question.

****
mostly harmless
Boonbag
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
France3318 Posts
April 01 2008 14:33 GMT
#2
I think my new prescription just kicked in. Woah.
Steelflight-Rx
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States1389 Posts
April 01 2008 15:11 GMT
#3
My zealots are better.
yubee wrote: you know? it's a great night you should all smile no matter what harddships, because grass grows and the sky is blue and it's a good life.
Elric
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United Kingdom1327 Posts
April 01 2008 15:17 GMT
#4
Just substitute "zerglings" for "girls" and "it" for "she/her" and everything is clear, emo and a little psychotic.

vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
April 01 2008 15:23 GMT
#5
the great thing about zerglings is that they're always TWINS!
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
o3.power91
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Bahrain5288 Posts
April 01 2008 15:47 GMT
#6
On April 02 2008 00:23 vGl-CoW wrote:
the great thing about zerglings is that they're always TWINS!

They're cheap too.
Avius
Profile Joined October 2007
Iraq1796 Posts
April 01 2008 16:46 GMT
#7
cheap twins, mmmmmmmmmmm
aka. Samael
MeriaDoKk
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
Chile1726 Posts
April 01 2008 18:00 GMT
#8
i've heard that before
Wizard
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Poland5055 Posts
April 01 2008 19:25 GMT
#9
I love my zerglings.
sAviOr[gm] ~ want to watch good replays? read my blog: http://www.teamliquid.net/blog/wizard
1t2t3t4t5taw
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Andorra173 Posts
April 02 2008 06:38 GMT
#10
Pretty sure the zerglings are men and not women
afadf
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