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But, thing is, I don't know if she likes me back(Oh god, how many times have you heard this one XD). Well, anyways, I like this girl, she's pretty cool, she's really short but she's really cute ^.^
Ok, aside from that, I started talking to her(I started talking to her as a Junior, she was a freshman). We got along so well when we talked, but we'd rarely talk(weird eh), but when I'd see her, we'd always end up walking together somewhere, chatting it up. Now, Senior year, it's like the same again, except this time I added her on myspace and msn(and she stole my phone once and put her phone number in it :D) so we're able to talk even more.
Well, thing is, I fell in love with her. I think she just sees me as a best friend, but I don't just want to be her best friend, I want her to be a part of my life. I fell hard when I fell in love with her, but, I don't know if she feels the same way.
Anyone got some tips, things I should do in order to get that "hint hint" from her, etc? I am too shy to admit my feelings for her, so I'm like trying to get her feelings out first(so we can end up both admitting our feelings in the end, so it will be special in some sort of way I guess D: ). Or, she can say she likes someone else and I'll be crushed.
Blargh XD
EDIT: Pic of her
+ Show Spoiler +Her zipper earring is awesome :D
 
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Don't say anything, just enjoy what you have. You risk screwing everything up. That was the first piece of relationship advice I have given in my life, feel special.
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On January 22 2008 14:08 Pwntrucci[sR] wrote:
Don't say anything, just enjoy what you have. You risk screwing everything up. That was the first piece of relationship advice I have given in my life, feel special.
Meh, you're right about one thing, not doing anything about it and just keeping it the way it is, but, thing is, I don't want to keep it like this; I want to go to new heights with this.
:[
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Naturally you should try to get her feelings out first... but if she doesn't like you she might just try to be really nice to you. I was in this situation a couple months ago and I was in it so deep I never realized the blatant hints that she didn't like me. Take everything literally as it happens, but don't over analyze the things in hindsight.
But if it's blatantly obvious that she does like you then you have to put your feelings on the line and tell her. Tread lightly <_<.
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Just tell her and see what happens.
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On January 22 2008 14:19 conCentrate9 wrote:
But if it's blatantly obvious that she does like you then you have to put your feelings on the line and tell her. Tread lightly <_<.
It's getting to this point, I'm just too afraid to tell her, even on MSN LOL!
I don't think she's trying to be nice though; unless she has acted the same way since last year every time we've met :O
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On January 22 2008 14:19 Wizard wrote:
Just tell her and see what happens.
I SAW THAT NINJA EDIT!
I SAW IT XDDDDD
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United States1654 Posts
Since you're so much older than her and don't see her often, why don't you tell her before you go off to college. That way if she does like you, great- if not, then off to college you go!
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On January 22 2008 14:20 Scorpion wrote:Show nested quote +On January 22 2008 14:19 conCentrate9 wrote:
But if it's blatantly obvious that she does like you then you have to put your feelings on the line and tell her. Tread lightly <_<. It's getting to this point, I'm just too afraid to tell her, even on MSN LOL! I don't think she's trying to be nice though; unless she has acted the same way since last year every time we've met :O
Some people are really good at being fake. Most people even. For the situation you're describing, however, just tell her. It's better knowing for a fact now than wondering what if forever.
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On January 22 2008 14:23 SigrUn wrote:
Since you're so much older than her and don't see her often, why don't you tell her before you go off to college. That way if she does like you, great- if not, then off to college you go!
I've been thinking that....
I just need a week or so before I can muster up enough balls to tell her and face it like a huge woman because I'll probably go extremely emo if she says no :[
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On January 22 2008 14:04 Scorpion wrote:
I think she just sees me as a best friend
The thing is... once you're on the friend ladder...you can never get out...
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Well if you know her that much IRL, don't be a jackass to tell her on MSN...that's just so lame. Girls usually like guys who have some self-confidence (if you don't have any - like me - try to show some  ).
Seriously, just buy her a red rose and get things off your chest...you'll feel better eventually either way if she likes you the same way or not, trust me. I had quite some situations like this (not to scare you away, they never worked out though - but I'm still friends with all those girls, so you really can't loose anything! )
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On January 22 2008 14:24 Scorpion wrote:
I just need a week or so before I can muster up enough balls to tell her and face it like a huge woman because I'll probably go extremely emo if she says no :[
Yeah it kinda feels like a straight kick to the balls that resonates in your gut emitting vulgarity from your lips. Just hang with your friends if that happens, quickest and most fun way to get over it.
Don't worry about her saying no though, just radiate confidence and she'll swoon for you... maybe.
edit: Yes don't do it over MSN. I'm not sure about the red rose, but some girls do swoon for that so its up to your discretion.
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On January 22 2008 14:28 FirstBorn wrote:Show nested quote +On January 22 2008 14:04 Scorpion wrote:
I think she just sees me as a best friend
The thing is... once you're on the friend ladder...you can never get out...
Not true, leave for 10 years and come back
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It's weird cause I didn't want to hang out with friends or anything, I'd just constantly think about her; I'd ditch my friends sometimes so I could talk to her, and if I did end up going with my friends, I'd just text her the entire time. I once stayed on MSN all night talking with her at a friends house >_>
Yeah, I talked with her all night on MSN. That's how 'serious' you could say things would get.
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Alright time for monkeyspankers girl advice.
you said she considers you a "best frined" or something, do you guys hang out outside of school, do you talk on the phone all the time? What exactly makes you best friends?
Or was that an exaggeration, because i hope it was for your sake, it's incredibly difficult to jump the friendship ladder. If you just talk on MSN and in school then ask her to hang out and just go for it, and keep in mind it's hard to be too confident, confidence is good. Just hang out with her and see where it goes.
Now that's if you haven't hung out outside of school already, if you are the friendship thing where you hang out a lot, then you have your work cut out for you. You need to just come out and say it, or you need to pull some super amazing moves that honestly, from your description of yourself, it just doens't sound like you have it in you to pull it off, But if your generally good with girls it's possible to pimp it i guess, i'm trying to do the same thing as you currently, i guess i will let you know how it goes.
It's actually a very similiar situation too, shes a softmore, i'm a senior.
But if you wanna be veyr direct about it which could work, just tell her how you feel (in peson) And if she says she just likes you as a friend, you can accept it as that or tell her you can't stand settle for just friends and tell her to think about it and then wait for her to talk to you about it. Don't let her just ignore the topic, if she messages you or calls you or something later, and she pretends that never happened or something, then bring it up and make her decide.
If she decides to give it a chance then your in, if not then it's your choice if you can settle for friendship or not. Make sure you emphasize how she should atleast give it a chance if she says no at first. Becuase you already get along great.
God speed sir, i will keep you posted about my situation if i decide to pursue it.
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Since I've never been in a relationship, I can objectively analyze your situation and provide untainted advice.
BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA AHAHAHAHHA AAHAHAHHAHA.
That was at me.
Um, gl.
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CA10824 Posts
maybe find a mutual female friend and see if that friend can ask the girl you like what she thinks about you
it has to be someone you really trust though, for obvious reasons
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On January 22 2008 14:50 LosingID8 wrote:
maybe find a mutual female friend and see if that friend can ask the girl you like what she thinks about you
it has to be someone you really trust though, for obvious reasons
QFT
had to do that for someone today
worked out ok for her seems good plan
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United Arab Emirates5091 Posts
On January 22 2008 14:50 LosingID8 wrote:
maybe find a mutual female friend and see if that friend can ask the girl you like what she thinks about you
it has to be someone you really trust though, for obvious reasons
best bet imo
otherwise, the most fucked up thing that could happen is the pile of deep shit you are in now.
when you meet a girl you think to urself OK "is she girlfriend material?" if yes then treat her like crap. dont be nice. dont be all O SHI i got plans but ill move all my shit aside to make time for you. if you got shit to do, then DO IT.
if its friend material then treat her like a friend. help her with hwk, talk shit together, talk shit abt other etc etc but do not, under any circumstances THEN FALL IN LOVE WITH HER. cuz in her mind you've been labelled as friend material aaaaaand the metamorphosis from friend to BOYfriend is a painful, confusing and for the most part, unsuccessful move.
normally i treat everyone like crap and then if its not kickin, THEN i start being nice and befriend her.
man i cant count the number of times i fell for my female friends and how shitty, awkward and painful it all ended up. its a shitty place to be.
its like pvz lategame where for some reason all you got is goons goons and more goons and two reavers and you see a nation of hydras coming towards you and you wonder to urself where the fuck your zealots are and why the fuck leg upgrades arent even rollin.
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just ... be friends ._.
don't do anything stupid and see how everything goes :}
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On January 22 2008 15:02 pyrogenetix wrote:
its like pvz lategame where for some reason all you got is goons goons and more goons and two reavers and you see a nation of hydras coming towards you and you wonder to urself where the fuck your zealots are and why the fuck leg upgrades arent even rollin.
priceless analogy!
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United States1654 Posts
On January 22 2008 15:34 Aepplet wrote:Show nested quote +On January 22 2008 15:02 pyrogenetix wrote:
its like pvz lategame where for some reason all you got is goons goons and more goons and two reavers and you see a nation of hydras coming towards you and you wonder to urself where the fuck your zealots are and why the fuck leg upgrades arent even rollin. priceless analogy!
Rofl, awesome analogy. XD
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Grow a pair of nuts and ask her out =)
Seriously, just do stuff with her lol.
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fuck love, fuck girls.
well the girl i liked used everyone and is an evil bitch in the inside.
anyways my advice:
GO FOR IT! you have nothing to lose
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On January 22 2008 15:02 pyrogenetix wrote:Show nested quote +On January 22 2008 14:50 LosingID8 wrote:
maybe find a mutual female friend and see if that friend can ask the girl you like what she thinks about you
it has to be someone you really trust though, for obvious reasons best bet imo otherwise, the most fucked up thing that could happen is the pile of deep shit you are in now. when you meet a girl you think to urself OK "is she girlfriend material?" if yes then treat her like crap. dont be nice. dont be all O SHI i got plans but ill move all my shit aside to make time for you. if you got shit to do, then DO IT. if its friend material then treat her like a friend. help her with hwk, talk shit together, talk shit abt other etc etc but do not, under any circumstances THEN FALL IN LOVE WITH HER. cuz in her mind you've been labelled as friend material aaaaaand the metamorphosis from friend to BOYfriend is a painful, confusing and for the most part, unsuccessful move. normally i treat everyone like crap and then if its not kickin, THEN i start being nice and befriend her. man i cant count the number of times i fell for my female friends and how shitty, awkward and painful it all ended up. its a shitty place to be. its like pvz lategame where for some reason all you got is goons goons and more goons and two reavers and you see a nation of hydras coming towards you and you wonder to urself where the fuck your zealots are and why the fuck leg upgrades arent even rollin.
all you asians be crazy xD
seriously though...don't ask a friend..that was something you did in middle school, don't do it as it shows a severe lack of confidence in the guy and a huge case of pussyitius:O I'm not saying it wont turn out ok but it is a horrible habit to get in to.
There is also one thing I never got about this idea......
ok, if some guy came up to me and asked...."do you like *mary*" that would be a HUGE fucking red light that mary has been talking to people about you or asked him to ask you or something like that.
The only thing that changes with that situation is that you aren't directly there asking yourself, but instead a little msnger girl that might as well have your name tattooed all over their body.
edit: I hope everything works out, it is so hard for people to analyze shit that they are only told about or given one perspective. I'm sure several ppl here could watch your interactions with her for a few days and tell if she liked you or not...it is always much harder to to see obvious hints when you are the person involved;p
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is awesome32269 Posts
Teamliquid magical words:
"So, I like this girl...", "Girl help", "Computer Help", "Religious thread", etc.
In that order.
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this picture so is a fat-girl angleshot...
And ontopic: Tell her, find yourself in the friendzone, get over it and find someone else, profit!
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On January 22 2008 21:39 indecision wrote:
this picture so is a fat-girl angleshot...
And ontopic: Tell her, find yourself in the friendzone, get over it and find someone else, profit!
She's not fat IRL... she's short+skinny :3
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Well, if I were in your position, i'd be thinkin, "Mofucka i'm a senior i can do w/e." Jk, but like what other people said, since its ur seinor year, what have you got to lose? GO FOR IT! This reminds me two quotes that apply to ur situation. The first one is "It's better to flame out, than to chicken out." and the second one is from Mugen (guy from Samurai CHamploo. don't hate there's some truth to his words) "Don't live your life filled with regrets; you're the one that decides your life." Basically, if you don't go for the girl, when you go off to college you'll be livin with the question "What if..." you don't want that to happen to you as that mite give you alot of sleepless nights. BUT, if you go all-in and see where you stand with the girl, you'll at least KNOW, and won't have to live with the unknown variable of "What if..."
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On January 22 2008 14:38 Scorpion wrote:
It's weird cause I didn't want to hang out with friends or anything, I'd just constantly think about her; I'd ditch my friends sometimes so I could talk to her, and if I did end up going with my friends, I'd just text her the entire time. I once stayed on MSN all night talking with her at a friends house >_>
Yeah, I talked with her all night on MSN. That's how 'serious' you could say things would get.
I've seen some weird answers in your blog. Listen my friend. You are young, you fell in love, that happens. Nothing stings longer than a lost chance in terms of love. You know what you got to do, all you're looking for is either a confidence boost, or an excuse to not open your heart.
All these excuses and sideroads here might sound promissing because you don't have to go all-in on this girl. You can't be friends with here, not like this. You know that. You wan't the big pie, the full price, the chicken supreme, the big bingo family toaster jackpot.
Here is the situation. You like here being around she likes you. That's the basis we have here that's at least for certain. Or in other words she does not switch roadlanes as soon as she sees you. Now you wrote you wan't her to get her feelings out first, wich would be a really convenient way. But if she thinks the same, you dance around each other going nowhere and she might eventually go for the other guy. I don't say it happens, but it's a worst case cenario.
Here is what you do. To enforce the moment of truth one has to get rid of the surrounding. It might take balls, and you feel like dying before the moment comes but it's the best way for someone as afraid as you. All you do is ask her out to a place where you are alone. You don't wan't to go for locations like the forrest or your "secret place" under the bridge. Kinda kills the motivation. You don't have to be complety alone, but places like restaurants, bars, dinners are not your place to go because everything around you can kill time and build up a moment where you guys could distract yourself from each other. A neutral place of interest for both. So here's the deal. Do you meet there? No you go there togheter and while you're walking magic happens. From your posts both of you have expirience in using your legs while you're around each other. Good thing. Forget roses and other presents. These are strong symbols and take away your chance to build up.
Ok what to do next. You're walking and you have enough willpower to at least talk about some crap you don't even give a shit now. All you wan't is to get to the bottom of her heart. You see the bridge infront of you but you don't know how save it is to walk over. If you go to fast it breaks, if you go to slow you might end up not even take one step on the bridge. One might think! Here's were lot's of guys think that there is only one chance and they fuck it up completly if it goes wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. But we're right in the middle of something. So what is it what you have to do? You're walking, your body is melting, your mouth talking about some random thing she might not even understand. WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO SAY? WHAT TO THINK? SMILE? LAUGH? CRY? SCREAM? OH GAWD YOU'RE SO AFRAID YOU WAN'T TO CURSE BUT YOU CAN'T!!
And then you stop.
You end the conversation abrupt. You stand still focusing her. And from here on you're in the zone. Everything around you fades away. Blood veins bursting, eyes burning, knees folding, kittys crying, houses collapsing, stars exploding.
And then you open your mouth and
..
gna gotta go my boss is back from lunchbreak. cya, write you later.
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Slap her hard in the face. If she reacts badly or aggressively towards you, you know she hates you. But if she just looks puzzled, or even smiles, then you know she has special feelings for you too. gl scorp.
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On January 22 2008 20:28 IntoTheWow wrote:
Teamliquid magical words:
"So, I like this girl...", "Girl help", "Computer Help", "Religious thread", etc.
In that order.
What if there was a thread that incorporated all of these topics into one? Would TL crash and burn?!
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On January 22 2008 23:54 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 22 2008 20:28 IntoTheWow wrote:
Teamliquid magical words:
"So, I like this girl...", "Girl help", "Computer Help", "Religious thread", etc.
In that order. What if there was a thread that incorporated all of these topics into one? Would TL crash and burn?!
No, a black hole would open and draw all the mods in it.
More on topic, tell her. If she see's you as a friend, it won't matter if you tell her after a romantic dinner (from your Pov) or on the road to school.She'll be surprised. It's up to you from there on.
If she see's you as a man, pls read any of rekrul's threads and you'll be sleeping with her in no time.
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(and she stole my phone once and put her phone number in it :D) so we're able to talk even more.
If this was recent, I think she likes you ;P
IMO it's not really worth it to be friends with a girl you want more from. So make a move and see how it goes.
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This situation will come up again and again in life (although hopefully you won't let it go so far without saying anything next time.) The situation is that you find someone you like, and you want to see where it can go.
Solution: you must sack up. Time to grow some balls, my friend! What you are looking for does not exist: you want a situation of total security where you can be safe no matter what (which is why you want all these signals from her without offering any of your own). You don't want to risk embarassment. The thing is, life is dirty! The only life worth living is one in which you take some risks. You gotta put yourself out there and try things and risk being embarassed or shot down. When you do this, and you succeed, the exhilaration and fulfillment is priceless.
You may get shot down. She may say she just wants friendship and you might feel a bit silly for having said anything. But she might very well be feeling the same thing as you and be thrilled that you said something (women usually expect the dude to make the first move on these things - unfortunate, but that's how it is.)
You just gotta do it. The more you put yourself out there, the more you realize how painless and easy it really is. In fact, if you do get shot down, it'll be good for you. IT'll show you that you can get back up and be totally fine. It'll put you on the fast track to finding someone who WON'T shoot you down (you can move on!) Getting shot down is no big deal, and most people won't be cruel to you if they aren't interested - if anything, she will try to spare your feelings. That's probably your worst case scenario - she will gently let you down. Best case scenario, you got yourself a special lady friend. The possible gains far outweigh the risks (the risk is so insigificant, dude).
Well, most people here will disagree with ol' InkLor, but my way of handling things has always been very straight forward. I don't like mind games, so I don't really play them. I just say what's on my mind. Sometimes I do it in a humorous way, as if to make fun of myself, but I still say what I want. So I'd tell her I was interested in her, and blah blah (do it in YOUR way, though - you're the one doing it.) Or I might just be doing something with her and ask her if I could hold her hand. Cheesy, but if she lets you, you got yourself a green light to keep moving forward, and if not, you kinda know where you stand.
One thing you'll learn as you get more experience is that if vibes are good with a woman, you probably have some relationship potential. What I mean is, if you can talk a lot and both enjoy it and it isn't forced, if she smiles or laughs a lot with you, and if you both seem to enjoy each others company, you have a green light to try to take it to the next level. It's really about that simple. If things feel good, they are good. Sounds like you have the foundation, so take the next step.
While I think being straight forward is great, don't come on too strong. Don't profess your deep love for this woman - that would be too much pressure. Just let her know you are interested in her romantically (the hand holding thing does this.) Just step lightly, but keep moving forward. Realize that if it doesn't work out, you are fine and there is someone better for you out there. Getting shot down is no big deal. Sounds like you have a good shot anyway.
You should update your blog to let everyone know what happened.
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United States22883 Posts
Sweet jesus I agree 100% with Inky on every single part of his post.
She put her number on your phone and stayed up talking to you all night on MSN. I think that's a bright green light.
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Haha Jibba, I never thought that would happen either. I don't know if this is a good thing or not!
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I speak from experience when I say: don't over-analyze it.
Also, don't put the girl on a piedestal because that will only make you feel awkward and inferior around her.
Just go with the flow and try to make some gestures that shows her that you like her.
Go for the romantic, classic stuff like roses and chocolate. Girls have seen that in "cute" movies so many times and I don't know of a single girl who wouldn't be happy to recieve those items along with you saying "I like you".
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Take her out to dinner.
And make sure you look at her in the eyes when you talk (jk, sorry couldn't help it;))
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On January 23 2008 07:41 fight_or_flight wrote:
Take her out to dinner.
And make sure you look at her in the eyes when you talk (jk, sorry couldn't help it;))
Ah, you remembered! :D
I don't have that problem anymore... 
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Ok, apparently, a friend of mine found about my crush and is threatening to tell her. I said "Fuck it, I was going to tell her anyways eventually; you're just doing me a favor." But, if she does tell her, it will ruin the whole letting me go up to her and tell her that I have mushy feelings for her.
Also, she's going to end up telling everyone so it's going to become a "scene" like last time(my friend always finds out about who I like, I don't know how XD). Thing is, last time, the girl liked ME, I didn't like her. This time, it's the reverse.
:/ bleh
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uh, nobody puts their number on your phone if they think of you completely as friends, nobody
and being a senior helps out a lot when you're at that age... there's something intriguing about going out with an older guy
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Again, my lack of experience allows me to be objective.
If you feel a need to tell her, do so. Preferably in a way such that it won't be embarrassing for you, regardless of her response, as well as for her. Privacy will probably help there.
If you don't feel a need to tell her, well, there's no problem with the current state of affairs, right?
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United States22883 Posts
On January 23 2008 16:09 BottleAbuser wrote:
If you feel a need to tell her, do so. Preferably in a way such that it won't be embarrassing for you, regardless of her response, as well as for her. Privacy will probably help there.
Girls tend to like it when guys embarrass themselves for the girl. >.> It's pretty unfair.
Not like making an ass out of yourself, but something silly.
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Gotta agree with Jibba. Silly is good. Humor is good. Don't give her this obsessed look and tell her you want her to have your babies. Joke with her. Act goofy and awkward on purpose. Acting goofy and awkward and nerdy works great for me, because I've always genuinely been goofy and awkward and nerdy - one of those dudes that overanalyzes everything. I finally started taking a somewhat Zen approach to the whole situation, and rather than fighting my true nature, I just embraced it. So now I make an over-the-top act of being nerdy and goofy, and that way I can make my own nervousness go away by just making fun of it. I make a joke of myself. One good thing about making fun of yourself is that it actually expresses great confidence in yourself, which is attractive.
Additionally, I recommend heavy teasing of the women (this certainly falls under the category of "flirting.") You have to do it in a way that it is obvious that you are joking. You can pretend like you guys are husband and wife when you are hanging out, and act like a sexist pig of a hick husband. Then the next minute you can pretend like she is the man in the relationship and you are a very emotionally needy, insecure woman. In short, play around with gender roles and stereotypes and make it a game, and tease her.
In short, humor takes the edge off those heavy early moments, and allows you both to have fun while expressing interest in each other. The key is to do things in a way that is in harmony with your personality and interests and style.
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It would help alot if you guys had an inside joke. For example, I liked this girl , I think in the same way you guys were. We talked alot (on aim, not MSN), and laughed around alot and stuff. Well one day we saw a psycho-killer movie, and in one part, the killer was chasing a woman, when all of a sudden she pepper sprays him in the eye. He then starts groaning out in pain, and then yells "iLL FUCKIN KILL YOU!!!!" then pushes her to the wall. Me and her chuckled at the same time and looked at each other like oh? O_O --> ^_^. So the next day, after school, I hung around where she was workin at school where she was cleanin windows. So we were talkin, and somehow it ended up on the subject of tickling. So I used the cheesy line, "are you ticklish?" she said she wasn't so I proceeded to start tickling her. So of course I found out she really was ticklish, when out of nowhere she sprays me with the window cleaner; RIGHT IN THE EYE! So I started going "AHHH my eye!" she then asked if I was ok, when I then yelled "ILL FUCKIN KILL YOU!" then grabbed her wrists and pushed her against the wall. We had a stunned look on both our faces, then we started bursting out in laughter uncontrollably. I was surprised cuz this was the closest we ever been. I coulda kissed her, but since I was a noob, i didn't (still noob haha. Went from a D- to a D >_< )
Wow, that sounded like I was bragging, but I was just trying to reiterate what na.inky was saying about acting goofy/silly. Cuz if you can make her laugh alot, you have real good chance.
EDIT: forgot to put some words in spots
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On January 24 2008 08:05 ChkChk.Boom wrote:
It would help alot if you guys had an inside joke. For example, I liked this girl , I think in the same way you guys were. We talked alot (on aim, not MSN), and laughed around alot and stuff. Well one day we saw a psycho-killer movie, and in one part, the killer was chasing a woman, when all of a sudden she pepper sprays him in the eye. He then starts groaning out in pain, and then yells "iLL FUCKIN KILL YOU!!!!" then pushes her to the wall. Me and her chuckled at the same time and looked at each other like oh? O_O --> ^_^. So the next day, after school, I hung around where she was workin at school where she was cleanin windows. So we were talkin, and somehow it ended up on the subject of tickling. So I used the cheesy line, "are you ticklish?" she said she wasn't so I proceeded to start tickling her. So of course I found out she really was ticklish, when out of nowhere she sprays me with the window cleaner; RIGHT IN THE EYE! So I started going "AHHH my eye!" she then asked if I was ok, when I then yelled "ILL FUCKIN KILL YOU!" then grabbed her wrists and pushed her against the wall. We had a stunned look on both our faces, then we started bursting out in laughter uncontrollably. I was surprised cuz this was the closest we ever been. I coulda kissed her, but since I was a noob, i didn't (still noob haha. Went from a D- to a D >_< )
Wow, that sounded like I was bragging, but I was just trying to reiterate what na.inky was saying about acting goofy/silly. Cuz if you can make her laugh alot, you have real good chance.
EDIT: forgot to put some words in spots
This was cute, up until the part where you said she sprayed you with window cleaner in the eye...
>_> rofl~
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Insecurity and neediness are two of the biggest obstacles to
success with women. Insecurity and neediness are two sides of the
same coin.
A man is needy when he craves attention or recognition. He shows
that he's insecure when he ACTS on these needs. Insecurity shows up when a man does not feel comfortable with who he is or comfortable in the situation that he's in. He acts tentative, weak, and unsure. He tries to put on a show of confidence that is obviously fake. He says things that are out of place in an attempt to get approval.
Women detect insecurity and neediness INSTANTLY.
Here are some examples of insecurity and neediness to avoid:
*Talking or saying negative things about women or past
girlfriends. If you talk to much about past girlfriends or other
women, or say negative things about them, a woman will judge
you to be insecure.
*Having emotional responses to things. If it's obvious to a
woman that you will get upset about things easily, then she will
judge you to be insecure.
*Looking to others to make decisions. Women like it when you
decide what's going to happen, then do it. If you are always
asking "Well, what do you think I should do?" and "Where do
you want to go tonight?" and "What do you want?" you'll come
off as needy. Just make decisions and go with it. If she has a
different idea, she'll let you know.
*Saying or doing things to just to be noticed or to get
compliments. I've known a lot of men who try to act cool or
show off to get attention. This telegraphs to a woman that
you're insecure and needy. Don't do it. If you're cool, she'll
figure it out without you telling her.
*Arguing. This is my favorite. Some people feel like they need to
argue with EVERYTHING. If you're one of these people, just
realize that this is a clear demonstration that you're insecure
and needy. You may always be right, but being overly
argumentative is bad for your sex life. Deal with it. If you really
want to argue with something, do it in a funny way, not in a
serious way.
I guess that might help. Copy-pasted from a chapter on "double your dating book" by David Deangelo :o
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On January 24 2008 08:27 Scorpion wrote:Show nested quote +On January 24 2008 08:05 ChkChk.Boom wrote:
It would help alot if you guys had an inside joke. For example, I liked this girl , I think in the same way you guys were. We talked alot (on aim, not MSN), and laughed around alot and stuff. Well one day we saw a psycho-killer movie, and in one part, the killer was chasing a woman, when all of a sudden she pepper sprays him in the eye. He then starts groaning out in pain, and then yells "iLL FUCKIN KILL YOU!!!!" then pushes her to the wall. Me and her chuckled at the same time and looked at each other like oh? O_O --> ^_^. So the next day, after school, I hung around where she was workin at school where she was cleanin windows. So we were talkin, and somehow it ended up on the subject of tickling. So I used the cheesy line, "are you ticklish?" she said she wasn't so I proceeded to start tickling her. So of course I found out she really was ticklish, when out of nowhere she sprays me with the window cleaner; RIGHT IN THE EYE! So I started going "AHHH my eye!" she then asked if I was ok, when I then yelled "ILL FUCKIN KILL YOU!" then grabbed her wrists and pushed her against the wall. We had a stunned look on both our faces, then we started bursting out in laughter uncontrollably. I was surprised cuz this was the closest we ever been. I coulda kissed her, but since I was a noob, i didn't (still noob haha. Went from a D- to a D >_< )
Wow, that sounded like I was bragging, but I was just trying to reiterate what na.inky was saying about acting goofy/silly. Cuz if you can make her laugh alot, you have real good chance.
EDIT: forgot to put some words in spots This was cute, up until the part where you said she sprayed you with window cleaner in the eye... >_> rofl~
Haha we got closer after that though, hugs, arm around her, doing the thing where she covers ur eyes from behind and goes, guess who? etc. sooo wooot.
RANDOM TANGENT: have you guys ever told girls "No one can make their elbows touch each other from the back."
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On January 24 2008 09:12 ChkChk.Boom wrote:Show nested quote +On January 24 2008 08:27 Scorpion wrote:On January 24 2008 08:05 ChkChk.Boom wrote:
It would help alot if you guys had an inside joke. For example, I liked this girl , I think in the same way you guys were. We talked alot (on aim, not MSN), and laughed around alot and stuff. Well one day we saw a psycho-killer movie, and in one part, the killer was chasing a woman, when all of a sudden she pepper sprays him in the eye. He then starts groaning out in pain, and then yells "iLL FUCKIN KILL YOU!!!!" then pushes her to the wall. Me and her chuckled at the same time and looked at each other like oh? O_O --> ^_^. So the next day, after school, I hung around where she was workin at school where she was cleanin windows. So we were talkin, and somehow it ended up on the subject of tickling. So I used the cheesy line, "are you ticklish?" she said she wasn't so I proceeded to start tickling her. So of course I found out she really was ticklish, when out of nowhere she sprays me with the window cleaner; RIGHT IN THE EYE! So I started going "AHHH my eye!" she then asked if I was ok, when I then yelled "ILL FUCKIN KILL YOU!" then grabbed her wrists and pushed her against the wall. We had a stunned look on both our faces, then we started bursting out in laughter uncontrollably. I was surprised cuz this was the closest we ever been. I coulda kissed her, but since I was a noob, i didn't (still noob haha. Went from a D- to a D >_< )
Wow, that sounded like I was bragging, but I was just trying to reiterate what na.inky was saying about acting goofy/silly. Cuz if you can make her laugh alot, you have real good chance.
EDIT: forgot to put some words in spots This was cute, up until the part where you said she sprayed you with window cleaner in the eye... >_> rofl~ Haha we got closer after that though, hugs, arm around her, doing the thing where she covers ur eyes from behind and goes, guess who? etc. sooo wooot. RANDOM TANGENT: have you guys ever told girls "No one can make their elbows touch each other from the back."
I've never thought of that.... LOL
LOLOL
Going to try it ;D
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United States7488 Posts
Just ask her. If she doesn't want you, then it is her missing out on you, not the other way around... seriously.
Also, are you afraid of rejection? (That was a rhetorical question since it's pretty clear that you've got some fear of it). Rejection isn't a big deal. It's a part of life and it happens. Learn to just shrug it off.
If you need to build an immunity to it, just start asking out random girls you see, like the next girl Alfredo introduces you to, that cute cashier at Burger King, the girl always playing Initial D at the arcade, or your waitress on your next visit to Hooters. You'll get turned down from some of them, and maybe even get lucky with others. Since they are girls you don't know you shouldn't even care about what they think.
You have nothing to lose. You will never be worse off after rejection from a girl. It gives you a fresh chance to look for a new/better one.
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On January 24 2008 11:02 semioldguy wrote:
Just ask her. If she doesn't want you, then it is her missing out on you, not the other way around... seriously.
Also, are you afraid of rejection? (That was a rhetorical question since it's pretty clear that you've got some fear of it). Rejection isn't a big deal. It's a part of life and it happens. Learn to just shrug it off.
If you need to build an immunity to it, just start asking out random girls you see, like the next girl Alfredo introduces you to, that cute cashier at Burger King, the girl always playing Initial D at the arcade, or your waitress on your next visit to Hooters. You'll get turned down from some of them, and maybe even get lucky with others. Since they are girls you don't know you shouldn't even care about what they think.
You have nothing to lose. You will never be worse off after rejection from a girl. It gives you a fresh chance to look for a new/better one.
Yep pretty much.
Emotional dominance is very important to have, which is what being comfortable with rejection helps you attain. Nothing is a big deal to you, you're just there to have a good time, and show her a good time too. You're not trying to act cool, you're just trying to have fun. The person who gets their feelings hurt or are nervous always spoil it. If you're with a group of people, you want to contribute something funny or of worthwhile interest to the group. You don't want to naysay, unless you have a much better suggestion, which is why it is helpful if you're already talking and being funny so you have control of what the group does. If you are funny or interesting, your suggestions of what to do will already be looked at as valuable as you've established that perception of yourself. Now you are the leader of the group and that is sexy to most females. Again, you're not trying to be cool. People who try to act cool seem boring or fake or mean. You on the other hand are comfortable with yourself and with everyone because you are having fun and are trying to make the whole experience fun for everyone. You are a shepherd leading from behind. You are guiding the group. If someone says something funny, laugh. Reward people for entertaining you. Sounds a bit manipulative, but if you think about it. The reason why someone makes a joke or tells a crazy story is receive attention, so give it to them if you think what they said merits it. Make sure you are friends with all of the guys in the group and only give partial attention to the girls. They are very sensitive to this. Importantly, you want start by giving only passing attention to the girl you like. You want to make her compete for your attention. You aren't mean to her, but other things have your attention right now. In other words, if she says something genuinely charming, funny whatever, you acknowledge her for it. But then you are interested in the next entertaining thing someone says. You are beholden to no one. Now, she's trying to entertain you and when she's doing that, she's not judging what you're doing. She's actively involved in trying to please you and possibly trying outdo the girl who's currently got your attention in a conversation. Again, all this stuff might sound manipulative, but if you look at how interactions go, these are the principles that govern them. People are trying to be liked and receive positive attention and not come off like an idiot. Be the guy who gives them praise and they'll love you for it. Give too much and you'll seem like you're trying to hard. Give too little and you're the guy who is quiet and reserve. There's a certain art to this obviously, but once you realize for yourself how your group dynamic works then it becomes much more easy to pick your spots and gauge how people are really feeling.
Now, if you're already in the friend zone, it's tough to get out of the categorization. You are no longer, or never were, sexually or romantically considered by this girl. When she sees you now, she unconsciously thinks to herself, "I'm going to go hang out with my good friend," instead of sizing you up as a possible mate. To help re-define her idea of you, you need to change the dynamic of the relationship by altering your behavior in small ways that girls are sensitive to. Stop hanging out with her as much as before. Not a huge drop off, but now you have other things to do besides her, and sometimes you are too busy to hang out. Small and nice rejections of her offers to do something. You honestly are busy. This means plan some shit with your other friends and actually go do it. Do some cool shit you've always wanted to do. Then, when you want to do something with her, you initiate it. Come up with something fun you will both like to do before you call her. Make sure it's all set-up before you tell her about it. You don't want to suggest something that doesn't go through. This makes you look weak. Not terrible necessarily, but you want to cultivate the image of the can-do guy, who does what he says he's going to do. This is also a part of emotional dominance and cues a response in girls. At any rate, come up with something fun, make sure you can pull it off. And then when you take her out, everything is already taken care of, you know where you're going and when. You feel comfortable because you know you're set, and that will make her comfortable. Subconsciously or consciously she will associate that feeling with you. Girls want to feel secure, it's a mating thing. Deep down, girls automatically know if they get pregnant they are stuck with it, while you, the guy, can take off. So, stability and security are cues that girls pick up on. That's why rich guys always have tons of hot women around them as long as he isn't too creepy. You don't want to be bossy or pushy, then you're just being an asshole which doesn't say stability or security. It says thin sweaty undershirts and black eyes. So, come up with an idea. Make sure it's actually something fun you would think she wants to do. Don't lie to yourself. Make sure you come up with something you know she would say yes to, even if at this point you're firmly in the friend zone. If you don't know what she would want to do, you don't know her very well, at which point you should start asking her some questions about herself when the opportunity arises and remember what she says. Girls will take notice if you're being attentive to what they say. It's flattering. Don't overdo it though. Be interested and engaging, but don't try to hard to do this. Let it come. So, now you've suggested something fun that she's actually interested in, and you suggested it. Now she's not feeling so lukewarm towards you. Okay, you're on the date or event or whatever. You're comfortable and having fun. Now she's starting to realize you're not just someone she likes to just hang out with when she's bored. Just go where the situation takes you. Maybe the date will turn into something really unexpected and memorable. Now she's just had a really powerful emotional experience with you. That great feeling she has is now associated with you. You're closer to moving out of the friend zone.
None of this stuff is foolproof, but it is a way of presenting yourself in a flattering light. You need genuine confidence to make this stuff work the way it should. That comes from not being afraid to fail. You do want to win, but you're not worried about losing. You're forward looking, and not worrying about messing up. If you do mess up, it's not the end of the world. It might feel like it at the moment but you will get over it. Hell, it might end up being a hilarious anecdote you end up telling to make girls laugh later on in life. Just be yourself and be confident. Not everyone is going to like you, so what the fuck. Get over it already. Be smart and have a plan and try to give your best, but at the end of the day it's just fucking dating.
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Don't mean to be mean, but the above post has paragraphs that are just monsterously huge. You gotta chunk that stuff up, brotha!
The other, more substantive criticism, is that the post above seems too much to be about "relax - maintain control - relax - maintain control!!!!" In otherwords, it is a huge contradiction. While in principle, the ideas above MAY be right, an awkward nerd is not going to be able to force relaxation (a genuine contradiction), nor is he going to be able to pull off this "alpha male" stuff (which is a model of thought I really don't care for anyway.) Not to say, of course, that the OP is an awkward nerd, although the possibility is there (he is posting on TL...) I was always awkward and nerdy, and the awkward nerds are the ones that need the help...
So I say roll with the nervousness and anxiety. Do this by simply being humorous about it. Make a joke out of yourself and try to make the whole thing into a fun game. I've found that this approach makes nervousness evaporate pretty well, since you aren't trying to control it... you are using it.
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On January 24 2008 14:50 nA.Inky wrote:
Don't mean to be mean, but the above post has paragraphs that are just monsterously huge. You gotta chunk that stuff up, brotha!
The other, more substantive criticism, is that the post above seems too much to be about "relax - maintain control - relax - maintain control!!!!" In otherwords, it is a huge contradiction. While in principle, the ideas above MAY be right, an awkward nerd is not going to be able to force relaxation (a genuine contradiction), nor is he going to be able to pull off this "alpha male" stuff (which is a model of thought I really don't care for anyway.) Not to say, of course, that the OP is an awkward nerd, although the possibility is there (he is posting on TL...) I was always awkward and nerdy, and the awkward nerds are the ones that need the help...
So I say roll with the nervousness and anxiety. Do this by simply being humorous about it. Make a joke out of yourself and try to make the whole thing into a fun game. I've found that this approach makes nervousness evaporate pretty well, since you aren't trying to control it... you are using it.
Maintaining control is about relaxing. If you are comfortable people will follow you. This isn't an absolute of course, but being relaxed and pleasant to be around subtly puts you at a higher status. You know how people always love it when Rek posts? He doesn't give a shit, and that comes across. He tells us interesting stories in an enjoyable way. He makes it seems like it would be cool to hang out with him. To put it bluntly, people desire his time, and therefore he has a higher social status.
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Worst case scenario: "Let's be friends." Not THAT bad.
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A3iL3r0n says: "Maintaining control is about relaxing."
I largely agree with the things you say in your above posts, but this is the point I disagree with. Relaxing is about giving up control. Relaxing is letting go, while control implies holding on, consciously manipulating yourself and your surroundings. To try to force yourself to relax is an incredible contradiction, which leads to escalating anxiety. I mean, to make an analogy, it is like killing for peace, or having sex for chastity. To control is exactly the opposite of relaxing.
Yes, ideally we would all be relaxed in the situations being discussed here. Where I was being critical of what you say is that you cannot force the relaxed state. If you aren't relaxed, trying to force a relaxed state will bring the opposite.
Because anyone asking for advice here on these matters is probably more on the anxious side, I have recommended rolling with the anxiousness and nervousness, but transforming those qualities via humor.
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On January 24 2008 15:20 Cambium wrote:
Worst case scenario: "Let's be friends." Not THAT bad.
yeah, if you don't mind hitting a brick wall at 60mph. Few things are more awkward than making a move on a girl and having her say that, ick.
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just my 2 cents but
maybe u guys should hang out first like just u two
go watch a movie
get some dinner
see how things worked out and if she had fun
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Dont confess to her. Go invite her to someplace only the two of you. Nothing too romantic or too casual. When the athmosphere feels right just try to kiss her (dont rush it so she isnt taken by surprise) . If she rejects dont get all awkward and weird just shrug it off and see if she wants to go home or still spend some time. Your decision what to do afterwards, but better than just telling her how you feel.
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On January 25 2008 09:21 Yuljan wrote:
Dont confess to her. Go invite her to someplace only the two of you. Nothing too romantic or too casual. When the athmosphere feels right just try to kiss her (dont rush it so she isnt taken by surprise) . If she rejects dont get all awkward and weird just shrug it off and see if she wants to go home or still spend some time. Your decision what to do afterwards, but better than just telling her how you feel.
My friend was telling me to do something like this(apparently it works). Then it reminded me of a time when my other friend liked this girl, but she got a boyfriend, but he didn't care cause he still got him and the girl he liked somewhere quiet and tried kissing her. She got really pissed off(he probably thought she'd dump her boyfriend and go for him since they were best friends and practically going out, but she got a boyfriend for some REALLY weird reason) and they ended up fighting about it/shit started happening, lots of people were torn apart by this(not just them), people who use to hang out all the time near my house all of a sudden started to diss each other in public and avoid each other(my friend started to sit with me in lunch instead of his friends, rofl).
Yeah, but the girl I like doesn't have a boyfriend so it won't matter, woo! I'll try it I guess :O
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On January 24 2008 23:30 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 24 2008 15:20 Cambium wrote:
Worst case scenario: "Let's be friends." Not THAT bad. yeah, if you don't mind hitting a brick wall at 60mph. Few things are more awkward than making a move on a girl and having her say that, ick.
So let's just sit in the car instead in fear of hitting a brick wall.
You never know what the girl is going to say, and you'll never find out unless you ask. Try it, if it works, yay; if it doesn't, life goes on.
You really have two options in life:
a) Ask a girl out
b) Wait for a girl to ask you out
If you go for option b), you could be lonely for a long-ass time.
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This situation is a little awkward since you already know the girl pretty well. So there is this ambiguity to the whole situation... I like to go right for the date vibe with women, right from the beginning. If I get shut down, then I've not had my expectations built up, and if things move forward, there is no question that we are dating and not just being friendly.
Still, in this situation, best to grow balls as many people have said (including myself) and just make a move. Don't get all heavy about it..... I'd just tell her you are interested in dating - or else do the hand holding thing, or the kiss thing. Whatever you do, keep it light hearted so that she doesn't feel pressured.
As far as risking getting shut down, it's really no big deal. To use myself as an example, I'm already dating this neat blonde girl (very gorgeous, I should add) - for about 2 months now - but I really can't tell if things are going to get serious or not (we haven't had sex yet or had a talk about being serious), so I feel kind of open to other relationships (I am more into committed relationships, but if this other girl isn't up for that, then I might as well be open to other people). So today I asked out two girls. One of them shut me down - she said "Um... I've got a boyfriend..... sorry," in a nice friendly way, and I said "aww... shit. I'm gonna go EMO now, I guess," and laughed, and she kinda laughed, and we parted ways. No big deal.
The other girl I asked (later on) said OK. Gave me her number and told me she has no plans this weekend. So it's on!
Point is not that I'm a pimp - I most definitely am not. The point is that getting shut down is no big deal, and that even if you do get shut down, there are always other better women out there for ya. So just keep a positive attitude and don't worry. Things work out. Others have said that if you build this one girl up too much, you'll stress too much and it'll be harder than it needs to be.
Just tell her already, and let us know what happened. This thread needs closure. Nerds like me read this shit during our work hours (beats working, that's for sure), so come on already! (GL)
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Fuck.
Well, let me give you a little story:
There was this girl who liked me the instant she saw me(I'm guessing...) because she would never really leave me alone. She was really testing my social anxiety problems and it would get me extremely shy/nervous so I ended up trying to avoid her(or trying to(This was during marching band(also, if anyone remembers my "I have a problem thread"(http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=60607), this was during that XD). Well, anyways, she kind of got the feeling that I didn't like her so I ended up trying to sustain that relationship so I tried making eye contact as HARD as I could possibly can, tried not sounding like a pedo, tried saying hi to her(when she always said hi to me). Well, this worked out a bit, but I still avoided her, so it was still the same. Then, I added her on myspace, and since it's the internet, confidence a blazing! I pretty much wooed her to the point where she was possibly thinking about me every possible moment.
Well, thing is, we weren't compatible... she was the preppy, band geek type who liked mexican music/some rock(mostly greenday... eww) and I was the more hardcore death metal headbanger, so, when I figured this out, I was like "it's ok... I can convert her." She started being a bitch after a while so I decided to cut her off... stopped talking to her, etc. She got really pissed off so she just started hating me/avoiding me hardcore.
Now, prior to this, she confessed her feelings to me on MSN(LAWL) and I just kind of made "o.0" faces, so she got really pissed off I guess and I had just confessed my feelings but she didn't buy it so she just logged off >_>;;
Now, she knows I like her friend, so she's going to use all of her power to BE A HUGE BITCH :/ I have to tie some loose ends... BRB
XD GAAAAY
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United States7488 Posts
On January 25 2008 15:33 nA.Inky wrote:
Nerds like me read this shit during our work hours (beats working, that's for sure), so come on already! (GL)
So true.
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Meh, knew it. I tied some loose ends with this chick, she started talking to me casually and whatnot, all of a sudden told me if I liked her friend, I was like "Of course =DD", so she starts telling me all this stuff and then says "you want to know if she likes you?" I was like "okaaaaaay =OO"
She was like "ok, yeah, she doesn't like you, she actually thinks you're weird blah blah blah." I believed it at first(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA) but then I forgot, she's still being a bitch =/
I now am going to ask the girl I like if she really thinks of me like that, TODAY! NO EXCEPTIONS! RAAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRRR!
This thread is about to receive some closure =/
EDIT: Gawd, she never got online XD
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On January 26 2008 11:56 Scorpion wrote:
Meh, knew it. I tied some loose ends with this chick, she started talking to me casually and whatnot, all of a sudden told me if I liked her friend, I was like "Of course =DD", so she starts telling me all this stuff and then says "you want to know if she likes you?" I was like "okaaaaaay =OO"
She was like "ok, yeah, she doesn't like you, she actually thinks you're weird blah blah blah." I believed it at first(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA) but then I forgot, she's still being a bitch =/
I now am going to ask the girl I like if she really thinks of me like that, TODAY! NO EXCEPTIONS! RAAAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRRRRR!
This thread is about to receive some closure =/
EDIT: Gawd, she never got online XD
I was thinking "She's probably telling the truth", then I read that part about you not talking anymore and not taking anything with her serious so I can imagine her making up shit like that.
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
On January 22 2008 14:08 Pwntrucci[sR] wrote:
Don't say anything, just enjoy what you have. You risk screwing everything up. That was the first piece of relationship advice I have given in my life, feel special.
thats really pathetic advice
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Ok, so, yesterday, she got online and I started a conversation with her, then I told her that I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was like "w...what are you talking about?"
"I said I can't stop thinking about you..."
She then stopped typing... but I could see the "[person] is typing a message" thing but it would pop up then disappear over and over again, like if she was just hitting the keyboard randomly or something. She then said "I like... you too..."
She then immediately logged off =/ Wtf... I tried calling her for the first time ever but she doesn't answer...
I don't know how to react to this, I can't be like "OMG SHE SAID SHE LIKED ME WTF" because what if she was going to say "as a friend" right after? >_>... maybe she got really nervous? Girls get like that when you tell them your feelings and whatnot =/!!
Oh well... I'm waiting till she gets online... probably going to wait a while, watch ProLeague finals(GO LECAF!!!!), then see if she calls/gets online.
I asked her friend if she was online or if she answers her phone and she's like "She answered but she just kind giggled a lot then hung up." ._.!!
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I once really liked a girl, we were good friends, I decided to dive, told her how I felt, she laughed and we stayed good friends. Just, she was a lil' more cautious around me for a while.
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This is precisely why you don't do it over MSN... What the fuck?
This the sort of thing you do in real life, not even over the phone. You are supposed to take her somewhere nice and quite (and hopefully romantic).
Does TL really have to tell you everything -__________-;;
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On January 27 2008 14:06 Cambium wrote:
This is precisely why you don't do it over MSN... What the fuck?
This the sort of thing you do in real life, not even over the phone. You are supposed to take her somewhere nice and quite (and hopefully romantic).
Does TL really have to tell you everything -__________-;;
She's out of town for the weekend so that was out of the question(forgot to mention).
XD Didn't feel like waiting,(Ninja edit) Starcraft makes me impatient(typing GOGOGO OMG S T A R T really effected me IRL) =/
EDIT: Still waiting... hope she gets online XD
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United States22883 Posts
Agreed with Cambium. Plus "I can't stop thinking about you" bluntly like that is a bit weird. You either say it when you're already knee deep in the relationship or you set it up a bit first and explain it.
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Agreed with Cambium and Jibba.
Look, first of all, this thing is not sounding like it went too well, but the thing to keep in mind is that it's OK. No big deal. Before my first GF, I asked out a ton of girls and mostly got rejected (always subtly, lightly, sweetly, but rejected none the less. Getting rejected is good for you in that it helps you realize that you can move on and find other girls and that it is really no big deal.
So it is no big deal...
But for the future, don't do this sort of thing over the internet. Things like this need to be done in person.
And don't come on with something like "I can't stop thinking about you." That's heavy dude! If she's not into you the way you are into her, then you just smothered her with heavy awkwardness. It's like taking a step in the dark, and rather than lightly putting your foot down to test what is in front of you, you just step with your whole weight - but there might be a huge drop in front of you, and you plummet right off the edge into a world of pain!
In other words, step lightly into a relationship. I don't suggest mind games at all, but be gentle and cool about it. You want things to be fun and exciting, not heavy and serious like marriage. If I were you, I'd go back through this thread and read the advice given.
It sounds like this time it didn't work out. If that's the case, happily move on and rest assured that there is someone out there that is better for you and that you will find her if you are patient and try. Let this one be a learning experience! (We all have something to learn.)
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I know saying something like "I can't stop thinking about you" would weird her out... so I tried joking around with her afterwards(when she wasn't responding but had [person] is typing a message going on) with like "You're probably weirded out right now ROFL!"
Meh, you guys helped me prepare for this and I fucked it up maybe. Well, at least I got something out of this thread, and thats to move on when you get rejected!
Yeh, I stopped getting that feeling in my heart, the feeling of "love" I guess? If I still had that feeling and she rejected me I'd probably be worse off, but since that feeling is gone I think I'll cope with the rejection way better =/
Not that I have gotten rejected yet though... she hasn't signed on/called/texted/commented. Oh yeah:
+ Show Spoiler +Proleague Finals... don't click here if you don't want to get spoiled + Show Spoiler +
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Life goes on. Glad you are taking it well.
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Ahhh nt nt nt. buut telling a girl that you like her online, don't you stop doing that during middle school?
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On January 28 2008 08:48 ChkChk.Boom wrote:
Ahhh nt nt nt. buut telling a girl that you like her online, don't you stop doing that during middle school?
It's the age of technology. Plus, around middle school(for me), being online = "NERD!!"
Nowadays, with the Myspace and whatnot, everyone all of a sudden has internet and is regularly checking their Myspace/watching videos on youtube/seeing that the internet is an awesome thing, and being humble about their internet use("I was liek totally online for only liek 10 minutes lol ^_^").
>_>
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United Arab Emirates5091 Posts
not over msn dude come ON
/facepalm
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Ok, well, she started talking to me normally, a lot. It's like she never found out that I liked her, because when she did know, she would stop talking to me/seem to always have to "brbbb." Now, it's like we use to talk to before... Weird =/
I'll try again XD But, if this doesn't work out, I'll probably make another blog showing the progress of my next girl who I've already singled out from the masses =DD(Her Boyfriend dumped her last week o_O).
Woo, ty guys =O
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Ok, before this thread gets washed away in the sea of blogs, I just wanted to say that she pretty much told me(I told her IRL btw, was FREAKING hard because her friend kept cock blocking like a bitch(probably her intention) that she didn't see me that way, and that she just wanted to be really close. Once I told her I liked her she acted all weird and didn't talk to me. Then, after a few days, she'd start talking to me again as if I had never told her anything. So, yeah, going by the sexy triangle(that one blog Smurg posted), I was at stage 3(or I thought I was at stage 3 but was actually at stage 2) and when I told her I liked her on MSN and she stopped talking to me, that "feeling" I had in my heart went away(I stopped thinking about her all the time) and I was stuck at stage 2(or 3) and when I told her IRL and she gave me that answer I hit stage 4. It lasted about 2-3 days and then the feeling went away permanently and I didn't even notice stage 5 o_o.
We're still good friends though... I just don't like her as much as I did before(when I couldn't stop thinking about her). Oh well =D
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Australia3818 Posts
Aww, bl Scorpion. But at least you're over it hey?
Just get lots of girls to state 3, whilst you're still in state 1.
Pimp daddy much? =]
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On February 02 2008 23:50 Smurg wrote:
Aww, bl Scorpion. But at least you're over it hey?
Just get lots of girls to state 3, whilst you're still in state 1.
Pimp daddy much? =]
That happened once(I wrote about it somewhere in this thread). Didn't work out to well because of my social anxiety problems that I use to have.
I'll keep that in mind though =D! Your sexy triangle has really opened my mind on relationships and how I suck at them T.T~
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hey man, @ least you had the guts to tell her and thats what matters.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img102.imageshack.us/my.php?image=mangledchickenqx4.jpg)
