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Many people would suggest that things change, sure, they might. I don't think that's completely true as people need something to blame, thus they put themselves as objects. Things, rather. But in the end; people change. I got bored, and lonely. It was 2AM in the middle of a Monday-going-Tuesday night. And I browsed through my myspace comments, I did not have any new, rather, I just went to page one. Comments that I have gotten from 2005. Man, it was nostalgia allover again. I cannot believe how my mind was flustered. Once my friends, were now people I do not even include myself with.
One particular person, I would call him my bestfriend, well, ex. We were very good friends in High School, and got really close during summer vacation. We used to play games together, and played ball. Even though college rolled over, we continued to remain good friends, having good contact with one another and such, until he moved. I live in NJ, and he was moving to FL. At first, myspace wasn't a big deal to him, but then, it seemed as if he was on it at 4AM in the morning, still on it. It was like an obsession. Don't get me wrong, I love myspace and the people I have met through it. It's really a lifesaver when it comes to kill time/boredom.
At any rate, he moved, we still got contact, mild anyway since he barely had net or whatnot. We talked through myspace, since we were on at different times. He was still moving shit around, I had school to attend and study. All and all, it was pretty good. Then out of nowhere, he removed me from top friends. Yeah, this isn't a bitch-trip, it's just how I feel, so no "emo" comments please.
So anyway, I asked him about it and he said he was fixing his profile and I took it to his word. But more and more, we grew apart. Another friend of mine, she knew him for quite some time, had felt this too. Is it just me or does myspace change people? He was on myspace more than he was out playing basketball in the rain. I don't know, I guess I missed the old him. He basically blocked friends out of his life for his new ones.
+ life experience right there, thanks for reading.
 
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This sort of thing just happens, especially with young people, I imagine, who don't yet know how to value friendship, and are easily distracted by new things. Sad, sure, but to be expected, I'm afraid.
I don't keep in touch with any of my childhood friends. I was unschooled from 13 - 18 (didn't go to school) and during that time, all the friends I had made gradually moved away. It was hard.
I would say that myspace is an example of how our cultures and societies are moving backwards. What I mean is that myspace is just another way in which friendships are mediated by an impersonal, sterile technological interface. Rather than speaking face to face, one keeps up with their friends on a website. To the extent that this supplements an existing friendship, it is fine, but to the extent that it substitutes for real relationships, it is problematic. It is my belief that this technology, along with many others, is coming to substitute for "the real thing," with negative results - feelings of alienation and disconnection, and increasing preoccupation with shallowness (number of friends on your page, what products you like to consume, etc).
I think myspace and similar pages can change people, but in your case it seems like your friend has simply moved on into a new life. It is too bad.
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I think this is more of just a natural change than related to myspace. OUt of the people I chilled with in high school, I really only chill with two now on a regular basis. I've also known them both since about 1st grade, grew up around the block from them and have been pretty much best friends since. Id chalk it up to him bein 2000 miles away more than anything.
But still, it's shitty when someone you were really tight with gradually drifts away =/. Bunch of that goin on now. It's just life man: as you get older, you get mroe serious about your work and studies and don't have time to be partying chillin out every day of the week. Basically, if you and your friends don't hit this kinda maturity awakening at the same time, you're gonna naturally drift.
I don't chill with a lot of hte people I had chilled with the first three years of college because they're still stuck in the mode where their parents take care of everything. Sit around every night and drink and smoke, work friday and saturday (waiters) and have all their bills covered by their parents. Don't really have that luxury, so my time is limited and they can't understand it. Shit happens. I don't hold grudges, I just hope that soon they realize they gotta get theirr shit together and take some responsibility.
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Thanks guys, its very helpful to read I'm not alone in this, so to speak.
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Definitely not alone.
Missing out on part of middle school and all of highschool, I've faced a steep learning curve in terms of friendships and relationships. Adult relationships in modern societies are a lot different than the kinds of relationships you have when you are very young. You have to learn to kind of adjust your expectations downward, I think. This is generally sad, and I don't see any natural reason for why relationships should be so strained, fragile, and shallow.
I think Hawk hit it directly when he talked about work and so on. The organization of society itself is conducive to producing a lot of goods and services, but it also undermines meaningful relationships. If your work is tied up in a 9 hour work day, an hour of commuting, and time preparing for work and destressing from work, that leaves only a few waking hours for anything other than work.
I went into college with big expectations for my social life, and was horribly disappointed; it turns out many college students are busy with school, but in addition to school, a lot of them are working, sometimes even full time. I tell ya, dating women that are already done with college is advisable - it can be a pain in the ass trying to get time with a college student.
Point is, if you are a teenager, you have to begin recognizing how society itself is forcing changes in your relationships.
But again, in your particular case, it's just the fact that your friend moved away.
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
LOL...I would understand your sadness if he removed you completely, but who gives a crap about top friends list? That shouldn't affect your ability to comment on his page at the same pace as you were before, don't dwell on it and if you still want to be his friend keep talking to him.
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tell him if he doesnt put u back in his top friends list then your gonna do something extreme....like remove him from yours o.O!
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nA.Inky: I'm not a teenager, haven't been for a few years, though, I miss it.
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You need to get me those beers and such by next monday ;D
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Dude, what's with you and beers, you know any good LANs around our area?
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EPT
