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In high school, I did not have any idea what I wanted to do with my life. Sure, my family did, the media did, but personally I did not. I was at the point in life where I realized that I was not special and most likely never will be. I felt like another plebe grinding through life, another lost soul in the never ending cycles of history. Yea, I'm glad to be out of it... I only regret not having any creative output during that time, I could have written some great songs!
Anyways, I eventually ended up studying biochemistry in university. I still didn't know what I was doing, I merely combined my interest in biology and chemistry in high school into a wunderprogram for university. At first, I was deterred by the absence of any biochem courses in my schedule for, oh, something like 2 years. Then, upon actually learning what biochemistry was all about, I was shocked to learn that it was apparently ... just... a... job?
In my youth, I always envisioned scientists to be hulking, intellectual monsters in their ivory towers crafting god-knows-what with their crazy chemicals and contraptions. I envisioned breakthroughs being made everyday. I thought physicists sat in offices and churned out thought experiments and theories on the universes' darkest secrets. I thought chemists made sparkling novel molecules by splashing a few solutions together. I thought biologist looked in their microscopes and voila, found a cure for another disease! Well, I may not have been this deluded but I definitely thought there was more pizazz to the field, at least from what my textbooks have shown me.
After a thorough eye opening, I've come realize that science is not quite this ideal. However, no field of study is. There is no career out there where one starts at the top. Unless you're a prince, you must work your way up through hard work, perseverance, and motivation. A bit of luck will of course help, although I've come to depend on that less these days.
Now, I see science in a different light. It's a field where the stress is high and the money is bad. The rewards are infrequent - most alleys of investigation lead nowhere. People can waste their whole careers looking at something completely wrong. It takes many years of education to even become able to conduct your own research and even then the competition is fierce. Oh, and at any given time you can run out of grant money and be out of a job. Did I say it was stressful?
Nonetheless, I'm staying put. Because you see, the people who do science understand what it's all about. It's not about the money, the prestige, or even the jargon (quantum dot bioconjugate array anyone?). It's about intrinsic motivation. It's about being able to go to work and do something that you believe may better humanity in the future. It's about believing you're making a difference in this world - even if you fail, at least you tried. It's about understanding the world we live in. It's about the triumph of logic and reason. That's what science is to me.
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Calgary25997 Posts
Your name is an anagram of "BS Xenu"; I see through your scientologist logic.
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But in a capitalist world, some people need to study science to be able to work and get whatever money they can 
but cool read ^^
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i hate to disapoint you, but science and research is nothing like what you're dreaming of in the last paragraph. maybe it would be cool to be like that and maybe there are a few scientists who fool themselves into it while going to work every day. science is totally under control of those who need it to make more and more and more and more money. and only that. it has very little to do with what humanity needs and whatever higher purpose it could serve. in the end, it's all about how more profit can be gained by the few who control it.
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Snet
United States3573 Posts
good read and good luck
I have similar beliefs, but I'm fine with being just another plebe.
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You sound like you went through much the same process of discovery about science that I did. Once I realized what you did, though, I decided to get out. The chance of "doing something that may better humanity in the future" is so small that it's just not worth it to me.
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None of this "I'm not special" nonsense. Everyone is special - completely unique and important in some way. The key is figuring out how, and being free and strong enough to figure out how.
But anyway, if you enjoy what you are doing, that's what matters, I suppose. Try to do more good than bad with what you are doing. (The world doesn't need more weapons or toxic chemicals.)
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That debate about being unique/special or not is so confused... Different people put so different things in the words.
Yes, you are unique in the sence that noone else is exactly as you are.
No, you are not unique in the sence that you got skills that noone else has.
Yes, you are special in the sence that there are other persons that really care about you.
No, you are not special in the sence that the world will be significantly because of you.
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United States24768 Posts
On January 11 2008 08:26 Cascade wrote:
OP: what level are you at? I'm a PhD in physics myslef, and I'm mostly in it because it's fun. Are you insane? I got out just before the major became hell...(meaning I didn't continue past my first degree) upper level lab is like stabbing yourself in the head with a baseball bat for several hours at a time, or so my classmates who went on told me. I'm not saying you are doing something wrong, but doing it because it's fun? I also spoke to my ta's who were grad students and learned about how they were the total bitches of the world until they got their phd.
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Very excellent read, probably one of the best blogs I've read on TL because I can really relate. 5/5!
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Hey, thanks for the responses. I wrote that short post in a blaze of passion with minimal editing or organization of my thoughts. Looking back, it shows as I went all over the place. I probably contradicted myself a few times too. But it sure felt good to get that off my chest though
School_victim: I'll admit, the current state of scientific research is in a poor state compared to other areas of employment. Since the government and rich businesses control the grant money, it's hard for one to pursue research paths without external pressure on them. However, most scientists are doing research to better understand the world or to find cures for diseases... I don't see how this is just for profit. Sure, someone makes money out of it, most research leads to someone other than the researcher making money, but the exploitation of science is a different topic from what science is.
Cascade: I'm currently a 3rd year undergrad student... long way to go  Biochem is pretty much entirely hands-on. Essentially, you experiment on cellular macromolecules (DNA and proteins mostly) to figure out their functions. It's basically trying to understand w-t-f goes on in our cells... after 50 years, we still know very little.
micronesia: You seem to have asked a lot of people but you haven't yourself experienced the higher education levels in science. Well, I guess you probably wouldn't like it even if you tried it out That's alright though, just try to understand that there are people out there who actually like their work and may even find it, inexplicably i know, fun. The best thing to do is to let them be and hope they continue to find it fun because hey, if he's doing it, you're not doing it! Huzzah!
BTW, xusneb = bensux, get it?
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Science is tightly controlled nowadays...most of it isn't what I would consider science, just high-tech engineers.
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United States22883 Posts
I know people who had a great experience doing aerospace engineering with both NASA and the Navy, and others who just lost their jobs at Pfizer and are pretty pissed about their careers.
It really depends on your situation, I guess. I can tell you that it is quite possible for exceptionally brilliant and motivated people to find a way to get in on "world changing" research, even coming up as undergrads.
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I am starting to lose motivation to continue on my engineering major for similar reasons. Idk, I think I was disillusioned originally with the overall importance of what I would be doing. Unfortunately my real interest, history, doesn't really pay the bills.
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Speaking from my nonexistent personal experience (making shit up if I don't actually know, but at least it sounds right to me):
There are two kinds of research: industrial and fundamental.
Industrial research is the type that's guaranteed to pay off. Like testing 3000 different chemicals, one at a time, on a certain type of cell in a certain state, and recording.... it's temperature, i don't know. Really unexciting, boring stuff. But it pays, and when you do find that one of the candidate drugs works, you can retire. Or just be paid a bonus, depending on your contract and funding. Okay, bad example, as none of the candidates might pay off. But maybe something like finding a better alloy composition for a bullet, or a cheaper way to manufacture silicon wafers, or something might be better.
Fundamental research is, depending on perspective, "pie-in-the-sky" research, or what some people consider the only way to make real advances in science. The guys working with HE particle accelerators come to mind. At least some of them are excited about it.
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Oh, and aside from the research part, here's my 2 cents on what science means to me:
Science is the system of belief that has been the most consistent and reliable, returning the best results, ever. I can't argue that it's actually more valid than anything else, such as religion, but it's obvious that the results are better.
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Belgium6775 Posts
I gotta say I certainly had the same view on science (and programming too) when I was younger. After having studied both for quite a while my interest in both remains very firm yet the romantic view I once had has vanished almost completely.
I find that romantic view to be a lot more true in my current studies, so I'm really glad I chose it.
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Science is man's attempt to predict the future (whether it is natural or mechanical patterns).
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I prefer wealth and prestige over intrinsic motivation. In fact, I'd use wealth and prestige to fund intrinsically motivated people and better the world that way.
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EPT
