Oh my God - Page 2

On June 28 2023 05:12 Jealous wrote:

I wish you the best of luck. I went through something similar somewhat recently. One thing that was painful for me to accept, but helped me frame things in a healthier way, is that no matter what people say or believe, it is their actions that demonstrate what role they want to play in our lives. Even if those actions are based on faulty beliefs, or emotional duress, and can be "explained away" that way, that doesn't change the fundamental fact that they chose to leave us/hurt us/whatever.

Maybe it will take time, space, and healing in order to change the underlying reasons for those actions. In that case, we need to give those people that time and space, and hope that they make their mentality changes, which in turn will lead to the action of coming back to us/making peace. You can't control other people or force them to change, they have to do it themselves.

At the same time, we can't poison our own minds as a result of their actions. At least for me personally, I became very sick for a while after what happened. It just about broke me, and a depressed, broken person can't be a good partner. If we want them to make the decision to come back to us, we need to be the kind of person that someone would want to come back to. That's another realization that helped me overcome things, at least to some extent. Hopefully you're not going through something too similar.

I hope it gets better for us 🫂

On July 02 2023 17:04 Azzur wrote:
As a fellow believer, what I'm about to say may or may not be too late. But hopefully what I say helps - we as men as called to live under the Word of God and that comes with certain responsibilities and authority. As there is also what I like to call the paradox of female attractiveness - the more you try to acquiesce or appease them (especially Asian females), the more they will despise you. Allow me some suggestions where you can put this into practice:

1) Your MIL's behaviour is not acceptable:
I would've kicked her out of the apartment - call the police to remove her if you have to.

At the same time, we are called to take care of family members, so after you kick her out, provide the money (which you already have agreed to) to rent a place by herself. If you wife baulks at this, tell her that her mother's behaviour is not acceptable. If she threatens to leave with her, don't stop her. You must remember that the husband/wife has the priority in the marriage and not the parents. This may seem drastic - but I've done something along this lines before (to my actual mum, but not as drastic) and it has helped immensely in my own marriage.

Whatever misunderstanding with certain phrases, etc is also not your issue. No one should be talking like that you if there's any hint of disrespect.

2) Divorce:
It may already be too late - but sit down with your wife and make it plainly known if divorce occurs, she was the one walking out and not you. Don't plead with her or try and stop her - if she chooses to take the wrong step, that is her responsibility and not yours.

3) Fire Alarm
Although it may be difficult for you, do your best to not cry in front of your wife and child. And try and fix the issue - you already mentioned that it's illegal for it to be that loud? There could be some legal remedy that you could take? Possibly measure the db levels and find the relevant statute? Or perhaps get a professional to assess it?

Women want to know that you'll be able to protect them - and this is one issue causing them to despise you.

On July 10 2023 19:45 Mudassar4766 wrote:
If you are not satisfied with your wife behaviour tell her mom to guide him about relationship between you and her i dont think so the divorced is a good option.