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Canada3819 Posts
The feeling when it's over - the feeling when it really hasn't gone according to your grandiose plan.
Every second of every day, you wait for the communication with the object of your affection, you hope that in every possible moment you can work on getting to your desired goal, to win their heart and win them to your way of thinking and feeling.
Each day seems like a new challenge when you are 'fresh' in their 'scene', when you aren't tired and worn out in their eyes and when you still feel you can prove yourself to them.
They lead you on, or that's what you believe - each action and word they speak to you is filled with something more, well...that's your lingering hope. The hope that their words aren't empty, the hope that the things they are saying to you are all precursors to something more, the general feeling of hope, and shit - that's a strong feeling.
As surely as the world is moving around the sun, as surely as time is passing and as surely as you feel about the one you adore. The feeling that will hit you when you realise it's 'over' will be a true pain...'surely'.
It's the whole mindset, it's always the same crushing feeling of abject despair, the feeling that no one else can ever compare to the object of your affection. You really believe that there is no one better than them. Every thought, feeling and word you think, feel and speak are biased by their precense weighing on your mind.
This has happened to me about 3 major times in the past, and with that I've learned to realise that mindset was a clouded one and it never helps.
But it's just what happens.
Now that I no longer feel love for any of the girls I once adored beyond what I thought possible - I can look at it objectively.
I realise now that I wasted my time and that I was wasting my feelings.
And it's made me tougher, more reluctant to love.
I haven't been 'in love'.
Except for in dreams supposedly.
I feel you can only properly be in love if the feeling is returned, so that the love is 'whole'.
Otherwise it's just a love that is rebounded straight back at you in the form of venom.
And...it's not nice.
I didn't mean to be dramatic - it's just one of my thoughts.
It doesn't really pertain to any present situation of mine - not directly anyway.
 
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What's with you and your emo-ish blogs lately? They are written well though =p
Love's overrated anyway. Go have fun and try it again in a few years =D
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Korea (South)11603 Posts
Stealing a quote from Sonata Arctica, Tallulah: It's easier to live alone, than fear the time it's over
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Canada3819 Posts
On October 08 2007 23:15 Hawk wrote:
What's with you and your emo-ish blogs lately? They are written well though =p
Love's overrated anyway. Go have fun and try it again in a few years =D
I was talking with someone who felt this way, and I was trying to explain it to them...I thought I had some decent ideas so I wanted to write them down.
Don't worry I'm not the /wrists type. :D I'm a happy chappy! Yay!
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On October 08 2007 23:30 Smurg wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2007 23:15 Hawk wrote:
What's with you and your emo-ish blogs lately? They are written well though =p
Love's overrated anyway. Go have fun and try it again in a few years =D I was talking with someone who felt this way, and I was trying to explain it to them...I thought I had some decent ideas so I wanted to write them down. Don't worry I'm not the /wrists type. :D I'm a happy chappy! Yay!
ah ook cool. :D
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in an ideal relationship partners are equally 'strong'. That means neither dominates the other one. You invest intense and meaningful emotions and unlike the cases described by the author, you are rewarded by your partner. There is of course room for the little teasings such as making your partner jealous which keeps the relationship lively and it's GOOD to see the partner react - how would it be if he was just indifferent if you flirted with another person? But after all it's just a game, a technique to renew the feelings of bond from your partner to you and at the end of it stands trust. (note: ideal)
one often makes the mistakes to share his/her precious emotions in big steamy gushes with a person who doesn't deserve it or can't appreciate it because she/he doesn't return the feelings/doesn't see anything in you. Then one should ask the question: how can that person be "the one", if she is _not able to_ love me as I am. You have mentioned "the whole".. and I illustrated it with the yin-yang seal... such a person wouldn't complete the circle and therefore cannot be your ideal mate.
It's not often and you're extremely lucky when you meet someone who fulfills all the characteristics mentioned in the first paragraph. Looks, of course, also play a role. It's hard to imagine you could love someone from the bottom of your heart who is on the one hand as strong willed as you, has a beautiful personality, you respect him/her but is totally ugly. (ugly is such an ugly word  ... some persons may not be good looking but have an overwhelming charisma = can also be sexy)
if there are no other factors like money, gorgeousness e.g. involved, a long term relationship can only be acquired if the two partners respect each other and none of them makes an emotional slave out of him-/herself. (->being the inferior part)
so there is not "the one".... there is of course a person on this planet who comes CLOSEST to the ideal.. who would trigger the maximum of love in you... but the chance of meeting that person is ~1/femalepopulationonearthroughlyyourage... so very little. Each person is an individual challenge and even if he/she is not closest, she is hopefully close to what you, inside yourself cherish as the ideal.
kinda.
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On October 09 2007 00:34 Ghardo wrote:so there is not "the one".... there is of course a person on this planet who comes CLOSEST to the ideal..
interesting....
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nice post... we've all been there, haven't we?
at the end of the day, life goes on, and it gets easier every time
still hurts, though
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I really enjoyed reading this, it applies literally to me. I've been in the dumps for a bit, it's really weird. I've been in relationships, and have had the "objectivity" to look back. And I think, why can't I do that right now? I just want to superimpose the clear-headed reasoning I know time will bring, right now. But I can't.
Anyways very nice read. It cleared my head a bit.
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Very nice Read.
Very similar to my own situation, so its slightly refreshing knowing I'm not alone. That being said, because of the objectivity to look back the issue of finding it harder to eventually get together with someone again becomes much harder as you are basically on the other side of the equation now, finding it hard to return the feelings the other is having.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://www.belluna8.de/YIN_YANG.JPG)
