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Yesterday my female co-workers were having fun and accidentally compared me to another guy in our company whom they have a massive liking for. They compared him to "seafood" and me to "river food", then when I asked why one of them said, "because seafood is more expensive". I got a little annoyed at first, but a few hours later got REALLY MAD at it. I am the only "man" in this team, which has 5 other women. I've been really nice to them, doing all kinds of tasks like replacing the water tanks, going 10 stairs down to take their online orders, solving their computer problems, even occasionally drop by their house to carry stuff for them. That other guy, on the other hand, hasn't done crap for them. He is just really tall and muscular (while I'm skinny and about 6 inches shorter).
Later that night I posted a story on Facebook saying "don't waste time on women. Use that time to improve yourself instead", which got me into a heated conversation with them. I know I was wrong for lumping all women into it, but I was really mad. In the end, we agreed that no one was at fault and that I'm simply not their "type".
So today I completely gave them the cold shoulder. One of them acted like it was no big deal and kept acting in her cheeky way like usual. One other didn't even talk to me, she probably thought
I was wrong for calling her "shallow". I still had to interact with them because of work, but I was very unfriendly and probably annoying to them.
Then at the end of the day I just leave without saying anything. The cheeky one sent a message to our group saying "hey, why did you just slam the door on us like that?, are
P.S. I didn't notice a part was missing. Here it is:
Then at the end of the day I just leave without saying anything. The cheeky one sent a message to our group saying "hey, why did you just slam the door on us like that?, are we just invisible people in your life?" It's been a few hours and I haven't said anything.
They have in the past said they also liked me but their hard-on for that guy just never fades away.
I know they're probably thinking "why is he acting so childish?" but they will never know the pain of being nice to someone then getting called "lower quality" than some good-looking guy. And I'm not ugly either, my face is actually more "handsome" than him, I'm just way too skinny.
Update 1:
Weeks later: We are fine now, but only because we're too busy to waste any more time on this. The oldest one in my team (to whom I am somewhat attracted to and have been flirting with) is considering a divorce, so I'm trying my best to improve myself.
 
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Hello Vietnamese guy. I am from Vietnam too 
So what happens next? ))
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On April 21 2022 10:14 Jubinell wrote:Hello Vietnamese guy. I am from Vietnam too So what happens next? ))
Nothing. She kept trying to play it off like it's not important, so I told her I'm not gonna do the random tasks anymore. Just ask that tall guy.
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There’s nothing childish about sticking up for yourself, good job I say.
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Belgium6772 Posts
They sound like cunts, don't let it get to you mate. Just do your job but nothing more.
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Ok, "sea food - river food" metaphor is awesome, I gotta give'em that. I might even incorporate it into my vocabulary.
Besides, come on, when it comes to looks, tall and muscular is superior to skinny and shorter, there's no denying that. We, guys do the same all the time, comparing girls' bodies and hotness. So, I thnik they were correct in their comparison of looks. They wronged and they didn't act pretty when voicing it in front of you, I assent.
Other than that, yeah, I agree with people before me, just take care of your business and that's about it. This is nothing of importance, brush it aside and move on. Maybe get muscular if taller is not an option anymore.
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I read your post this morning, and I thought about it for some time. Recognized myself in some.
I feel you, with the neglect and the comparison with that other guy
But I don't think giving the cold shoulder and bearing grudges against them will solve anything.
Even though I tend to do that as well way to often, It takes often away time and energy on something that can be solved. You have to keep working with these women. And the harder and stronger approach is forgive and move on. I learnt from a mentor to do this (every time I think annoying thoughts about the persons, just tell myself to forgive and move on), and it all changed after 5-10 times of doing this. I became much more energetic and socially secure, and it changed the view this person I was having grudges against had on me.
I just don't think they know you well enough. I bet you are amazing, but holding a bit off on the helping part might solve a lot. Not with a grudge, I still think you should keep helping, but just be aware of you giving to much, or expecting something in return (like their favor / atention / liking)
Hope you figure stuff out
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Totally valid man, it sucks they would be so cruel. The best revenge is for you to demonstrate your self worth and confidence.
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Bulk up, do hardcore muscle training, spend time to find clothes that suits you well, get a nice haircut and be flirty with them.
Then when one of them asks you out, tell her that you are sorry, you dont eat river food.
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I might be childish here, but... I absolutely despise this style of title.
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While I agree their comparison sounds a bit mean and such, I honestly think it sounds like you have very poor conflict management. Posting a story like that is really passive-agressive, and it also sounds a bit odd to still act like that the day after, if it's true you guys had a discussion where you all concluded that "no noe was at fault and you were simply not their type".
It does sound unfortunate if they don't seem to realize at all how hurtful comments like those can be, though.
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Added a missing part. We are fine now, but only because we're too busy to waste any more time on this. The oldest one in my team (to whom I am somewhat attracted to and have been flirting with) is considering a divorce, so I'm trying my best to improve myself.
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If you are annoyed by them just remember that it is you who make those feelings, not them. So you have the controll to stop it from happening.
But dont be a pussy and dont be pushed around to do random shit, that will just make them respect you less which has already been demostrated in their behavior.
If bitches want equality in the workplace then give it to them imo.
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Not going to lie. A part of me thinks that while they were being shallow, your reaction was pretty childish. Like you feel entitled to their attraction because you "do stuff for them" and then you throw a little tantrum when that isn't the case. Has "Nice guy" vibes.
And sure you could put some muscle on you to appeal to the more shallower instincts people have or you could just find a good woman who will like you for you.
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On May 02 2022 22:16 Garnet wrote:
Added a missing part. We are fine now, but only because we're too busy to waste any more time on this. The oldest one in my team (to whom I am somewhat attracted to and have been flirting with) is considering a divorce, so I'm trying my best to improve myself.
You should not be flirting with married individuals.
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EPT
