I have followed lots of advice that did not lead anywhere. I have seen people doing more with less, doing worse getting better results. I have seen people doing the same and getting results that were completely different.
My only hypothesis is that I’m too different.
I don’t understand this world and whatever “guidelines” anyone has been giving is clearly not working.
I’m tired of being treated like this is not the case.
The world does not work in the same way it does for others, I’m just giving up. I am seen as the enemy anyway.
Mediocrity is already hard to live, I won't fight anymore just to get that.
Learning to be kind and gentle to yourself, might one day allow you to interact that way with others. If you gave it all you got, relax, take a step back and breath. The sun will rise tomorrow, I promise.
Relax, get plenty of sleep, be serious about serious things, and less serious about things that are less serious. Eat healthily and practice a solid exercise regimen.
There are always going to be people who do more with less. With 6 billion people on this planet there's simply always a bigger fish.
Therefore I don't think that aiming at being the best is a meaningful or healthy outlook. If you center yourself only around achievements you aren't going to be happy ever. I get the drive for excelling, but for most people it's simply not in cards to reach top 1% even locally.
And there's no need to. If you feel burned out there's no meaning to go the hard way. Take it slow, do what you need to, do what you enjoy with the rest of the time. There are other ways to enjoy life than excelling. If you don't have something you enjoy look for it, there's a whole world out there to discover.
It's fine to give up on being the best. It's a huge waste to give up on finding something that makes your life enjoyable.
it sounds like you're having a tough time. share whats going on with other people in your life if they are available. if no one is around or seems to understand, try talking to a professional. feel free to pm me if you have follow up questions about how to do so.
On August 05 2020 04:14 120720 wrote: You misunderstood me. I am not killing myself. I am just stopping every bs advice and trying to find enjoyment in life as there are none.
Perception of a given situation makes a big difference. It sounds like you wanted to be misunderstood and in need of some attention. You aren't seeking for someone's approval, or guidance. You don't want to be told what is right or what is wrong. This sounds very much that you are starting to come into your own person, or that certain traits you perceive as flaws are meaningless. I hear you and accept your existential crisis.
On August 04 2020 22:36 120720 wrote: I have decided to give up.
don't
I have followed lots of advice that did not lead anywhere.
you don't know that because you're still on the journey of life
I have seen people doing more with less, doing worse getting better results.
if you compare yourself to others who do better than yourself, you will never be satisfied
I have seen people doing the same and getting results that were completely different.
Yup, that's normal
My only hypothesis is that I’m too different.
That's your only hypothesis?
I don’t understand this world and whatever “guidelines” anyone has been giving is clearly not working.
Some people give advice because they care about you. Some people give advice because they want to help fellow humans. Whatever the case may be, we're creatures that live by recognizing patterns. If someone notices what they perceive to be a pattern to 'success', they go "Hey, that's pretty good." However, success is a pretty abstract concept. There could be many factors contributing to your non-success depending on the specifics of the situation.
Most people on this website who talk about success break down into two categories:
1. Romance 2. StarCraft
Romance
If you are not having success in romance, the advice you're getting might not suit you. For example, if someone said "Smile a lot", and you have a bad case of British-teeth, the advice won't suit you. Additionally, some of the advice is just wrong. Whoever you are attempting to court is not the same as the person(s) courted by the individuals giving the advice. Romance is not some algorithmic problem, no matter how much people want it to be. That's why there are like a million books on dating. By now, someone would go "Oh I found the correct book. Nobody waste your money on the other books, because I found the actual correct one that works."
StarCraft
If you are not having success in StarCraft, the advice you're getting might not suit your play style. For example, if someone say "go 3-hatch muta into 6-hatch hydra vs protoss every game), and you have 36 apm, the advice won't suit you. Additionally, some of the advice is just wrong. Whoever you are attempting to beat is not the same as the person(s) beaten by the individuals giving the advice. Or maybe they are. This doesn't work very well as a mad-lib. StarCraft is not some algorithmic problem, no matter how much people want it to be. That's why there are like a million guides on strategy. By now, someone would go "Oh I found the correct guide. Nobody waste your time on the other guides, because I found the actual correct one that works."
I’m tired of being treated like this is not the case.
we're all tired
The world does not work in the same way it does for others, I’m just giving up.
no
I am seen as the enemy anyway.
you're your own worst enemy, stop looking in the mirror that way
Mediocrity is already hard to live, I won't fight anymore just to get that.
'mediocrity' only exists if you compare yourself to others. If you set super-high goals for yourself, then one has to ask what those goals are based on. It's really impossible for anyone to truly help you unless you get super-specific about what your situation is. However, you've already blocked yourself from using the resource of other human minds because you've "given up".
You better not. You better never give up. I'm looking forward to your next blog titled "I am trying again" followed by "I have succeeded".
it's obvious that when someone says he doesn't want advice or guidelines he wants more advice and guidelines.
get contexts dude; every advice comes from/out of a context and won't(most probably) work outside that context. same words or phrase coming out of your mouth vs someone elses', will have a different effect on the same person/target because ... context(you saying "Just do it" to someone vs Shia LaBeouf saying it, i mean ...).
you are a context; understand it, find its limits, boundaries, its pluses and minuses, its abilities and disabilities. then get another context, then find relationships between contexts, be them positive or negative, and so on and so forth.
my advice is to understand something very fundamental:
If you can't be happy sitting and doing nothing and having nothing, then you have an issue that you need to work on. So don't blame the external world for that.
On August 11 2020 22:30 travis wrote: just be patient
my advice is to understand something very fundamental:
If you can't be happy sitting and doing nothing and having nothing, then you have an issue that you need to work on. So don't blame the external world for that.
On August 11 2020 22:30 travis wrote: If you can't be happy sitting and doing nothing and having nothing, then you have an issue that you need to work on. So don't blame the external world for that.
if you have nothing and do nothing you will die of dehydration and/or starvation. life is a continuous process of self-sustained self generated action. those living things that fail in this process... die.
so, you have to do something. unless you're Jerry Seinfeld. then you can make a show about nothing.
There is a lot of truth in what you say. If I interpret it as "your survival needs are met? no reason to be unhappy".
But given that being social seems to be key, and given everything that everyone is doing in life, it still sounds quite harsh.
Yesterday, I read it as "just be happy".
I'm quite bitter at this answer that could be given to basically anyone. It really feels like a "I could help anyone, but you? You, I'm going to tell you just not to whine". Granted that is totally apply to me.
I was reading Nathanias blog about how starcraft saved his life, I was about to just post your answer, after all why not, why shouldn't he have just sat in his room being happy.
I dont think his intent was to tell you to be happy, I think his intent was to tell you to keep working towards your goals, be patient and realize that not everyone takes the same road to make it where they want to be, so just be patient and put in the work. If you decide you're done and you're giving up then you need to come to terms that what you have now is what you will have in the future and you can't blame the outside world for the decision you made.
On August 12 2020 16:04 120720 wrote: There is a lot of truth in what you say. If I interpret it as "your survival needs are met? no reason to be unhappy".
But given that being social seems to be key, and given everything that everyone is doing in life, it still sounds quite harsh.
Yesterday, I read it as "just be happy".
I'm quite bitter at this answer that could be given to basically anyone. It really feels like a "I could help anyone, but you? You, I'm going to tell you just not to whine". Granted that is totally apply to me.
I was reading Nathanias blog about how starcraft saved his life, I was about to just post your answer, after all why not, why shouldn't he have just sat in his room being happy.
In order to be happy and fulfilled humans require good self esteem. To build self esteem one must take action. Blowing kisses to oneself in the mirror will not improve self esteem.
Persönally I consider happiness to be very overrated. It is indeed important to be well, but is it equally important to be happy? I don't think so. Wellness is far superior to happiness in my book. In particular if the pursuit of increased happiness leads to increased unwellness, then it isn't worth pursuing. And although both can technically be equally fleeting, the sources are drastically different. Wellness is achieved by different means than happiness is. It can follow a definable and controllable formula much more than happiness can. That definition and control can come exclusively from you if you so wish and if you're mature and knowledgeable enough about the way you function as an individual. Also, wellness can easily serve as a stepping stone for happiness, but happiness cannot typically do the same for wellness (unless perhaps you're not in control of your life/individuality, in which case your goal should be to gain that control).
I highly recommend watching the following video. It's more philosophical rather than practical, but it contains great ideas. It's essentially part one of an ongoing series, but it also stands on its own. It's not some modern life coach guru snake oil type of nonsense, just good old-fashioned food for thought.
EPT
