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The Art of Posting Reloaded

Blogs > vGl-CoW
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vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
June 04 2007 22:24 GMT
#1
Another hour to waste on the noble goal of reducing shitpost emissions. They heat up the forums through flamewars and flood the Closed Forum, it's a massive disaster just waiting to happen.
I should probably be studying, but education is for chumps. With the Communications degree I'm getting, I'll probably be more respected as a poster, anyway.


CHAPTER 3: QUOTING


Quoting is a huge part of the forums. Statistics show that over 5 posts are quoted each day. It might look simple, but it is in fact on par with prying pieces of food from between your teeth and not thinking about a gay little boy whenever someone says "Harry Potter".
Let us dissect this phenomenon in the name of Internet Science.

+ Show Spoiler [Part 1] +
Part 1: Quoted For Truth (QFT)

QFT is for when you're reading a thread and you see a post that basically sums up everything you wanted to say. It's cool, because it makes you feel that special kind of kinship you normally only feel when you're staring at a girl's ass, look up and make eye contact with some dude who was doing the exact same thing. It runs deep.
Also, it saves you the hassle of having to type something yourself (energy conservation is very important for a Career Poster).

You can simply quote the post and type QFT, or even nothing at all!
Still, there are a few caveats.

+ Show Spoiler [The Wrong Approach] +
On June 04 2007 21:00 a shameful poster wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2007 20:58 some d00d wrote:
a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of words here oh man what a loooooong ass post this might be the longest post i have ever seen
h
o
l
y
s
h
i
t
this is like wikipedia in book form or something daaaamn how does anyone type that much
baby baby babies wrench
burp baby burp derp
random words

makin a long post just makin a long post

so how bout them jets
baaab

braaaaaaaaa

aaaaaalalalalalala







post post tricycle b0nerz jungle jim


it's
like
a
thousand
Moltkes
on a thousand
typewriters
QFT!!


See, it doesn't look as bad here thanks to the Hidden Quotes function, but it would be a huge mess in a regular thread.
Rule of thumb: if you can't read all of the post out loud in just ONE breath, don't quote it in its entirety. Replace the contents by "hell yeah" or "big ass wall of text" or whatever, but do not force other people to scroll through all of that stuff again.

+ Show Spoiler [The Right Approach] +
On June 04 2007 21:00 a teenage mutant ninja turtle wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2007 20:58 a very fat egg wrote:
bu$h is satin


No clutter, no effort, opinion 100% conveyed. A minimalist Posting piece of art.


+ Show Spoiler [Part 2] +
Part 2: Advanced Quoting

This is what separates the boys from the slightly more effeminate boys: being able to do some serious Advanced Quoting. This is mostly important in discussion threads, where you'll often want to address several posts and several separate points in those posts at the same time. Fail in this endeavour and nobody will even read your posts. Just like a star, you will quietly burn out and turn really really fat right before you die.

+ Show Spoiler [The Wrong Approach] +
On June 04 2007 21:00 a worried dog wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2007 20:58 russel crowe wrote:
Dogs, like humans, are highly social animals and this similarity in their overall behavioral pattern accounts for their trainability, playfulness, and ability to fit into human households and social situations. This similarity has earned dogs a unique position in the realm of interspecies relationships.
The loyalty and devotion that dogs demonstrate as part of their natural instincts as pack animals closely mimics the human idea of love and friendship, leading many dog owners to view their pets as full-fledged family members. Conversely, dogs seem to view their human companions as members of their pack, and make few, if any, distinctions between their owners and fellow dogs. Dogs fill a variety of roles in human society and are often trained as working dogs. For dogs that do not have traditional jobs, a wide range of dog sports provide the opportunity to exhibit their natural skills. In many countries, the most common and perhaps most important role of dogs is as companions.
Dogs have lived and worked with humans in so many roles that their loyalty has earned them the unique sobriquet "man's best friend".[6] However, some cultures consider dogs to be unclean. In some parts of the world, dogs are raised as livestock to produce dog meat for human consumption. In many places, consumption of dog meat is discouraged by social convention or cultural taboo.

Before the development of modern refrigeration, ice cream was a luxury item reserved for special occasions. Making ice cream was quite laborious. Ice was cut commercially from lakes and ponds during the winter and stored in large heaps in holes in the ground or in wood-frame ice houses, insulated by straw. Ice cream was made by hand in a large bowl surrounded by packed ice and salt. The temperature of the ingredients was reduced by the mixture of crushed ice and salt. The salt water was cooled by the ice, and the action of the salt on the ice causes it to (partially) melt, absorbing latent heat bringing the mixture below the freezing point of pure water. The immersed container can also make better thermal contact with the salty water and ice mixture than it could with ice alone.
The hand-cranked churn, which still used ice and salt for cooling, was invented by an American named Nancy Johnson in 1846, making production possible on site and avoiding the problem of continuous chilling between production and consumer. Ice cream became a popular item for the first time. The world's first commercial ice cream factory was opened in Baltimore, Maryland in 1851, by Jacob Fussell, a dairy farmer. An unstable demand for his milk led him to mass produce ice cream. This allowed the previously expensive concoction to be offered in the city at reduced prices. Fussell opened ice cream parlors as far west as Texas. Many were still around well into the twentieth century. Fussell later sold his business to Borden.
The development of industrial refrigeration by German engineer Carl von Linde during the 1870s eliminated the need to cut and store natural ice and when the continuous-process freezer was perfected in 1926, it allowed commercial mass production of ice cream and the birth of the modern ice cream industry.
The most common method for producing ice cream at home is to use an ice cream maker, in modern times generally an electrical device that churns the ice cream mixture while cooled inside a household freezer, or using a solution of pre-frozen salt and water, which gradually melts while the ice cream freezes. Some more expensive models have an inbuilt freezing element. A newer method of making home-made ice cream is to add liquid nitrogen to the mixture while stirring it using a spoon or spatula. Some ice cream recipes call for making a custard, folding in whipped cream, and immediately freezing the mixture.
no ur so wrong,,

As you can see, this is worthless. It's impossible to see what exactly this worried dog is trying to refute, there's nothing but confusion all around and oh god I think my ear is starting to bleed.

+ Show Spoiler [The Right Approach] +
On June 04 2007 21:00 a bunch of soccer moms wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2007 20:58 Mr. Popo wrote:
all babies are fat
no.. i know several babies who are not fat at all
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2007 20:59 Mr. Popo wrote:
fat babies are soOo disgusting
no they are God's little meatballs
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2007 19:35 COBRA COMMANDER wrote:
god hates fags
NO TEARS FOR QUEERS
Show nested quote +
On June 04 2007 19:48 desmond tutu wrote:
hamburgers is the best food
while hamburgers are a pretty good food i think cakes is the best food


A neat, organized post where everything is addressed seperately and any ambiguity is dissolved, like when you treat a snail to a salt bath. Just try and tell me that's not a work of art.


So, there we have it. Another valuable lesson you can add to your posting repertoire. I still see a lot of mistakes being made against my first two chapters, but I'm sure it'll start seeping in eventually.
~~*One can only dream*~~


****
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32277 Posts
June 04 2007 22:52 GMT
#2
On June 05 2007 07:24 vGl-CoW wrote:
Another hour to waste on the noble goal of reducing shitpost emissions. They heat up the forums through flamewars and flood the Closed Forum, it's a massive disaster just waiting to happen.
I should probably be studying, but education is for chumps. With the Communications degree I'm getting, I'll probably be more respected as a poster, anyway.


hahahahah

not thinking about a gay little boy whenever someone says "Harry Potter".


LOL


Also, it saves you the hassle of having to type something yourself (energy conservation is very important for a Career Poster).


QFT

You can simply quote the post and type QFT, or even nothing at all!


Will perform tricks for quotes


Trick demanded.
Moderator<:3-/-<
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
June 04 2007 23:07 GMT
#3
ok thanks here's me playin around with some toilet paper

[image loading]
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
IntoTheWow
Profile Blog Joined May 2004
is awesome32277 Posts
June 04 2007 23:36 GMT
#4
r u a gurlk?
Moderator<:3-/-<
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
June 04 2007 23:46 GMT
#5
gurk,,.?? yues
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
d4d
Profile Blog Joined June 2004
Switzerland1066 Posts
June 05 2007 00:10 GMT
#6
it's
like
a
thousand
Moltkes
on a thousand
typewriters

nice one!!!

(did I fuck up my quote ?)
luck is not a factor
TL+ Member
DeadVessel
Profile Blog Joined April 2006
United States6269 Posts
Last Edited: 2007-06-05 04:46:19
June 05 2007 04:45 GMT
#7
harry potter is not gay. you get a 4 star for that comment --;

j/p i gave you a 5 but i almost gave you a 4
Pressure
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
7326 Posts
June 05 2007 05:12 GMT
#8
lmao a thousand moltkes
vGl-CoW
Profile Blog Joined December 2002
Belgium8305 Posts
June 05 2007 06:47 GMT
#9
On June 05 2007 13:45 DeadVessel wrote:
harry potter is not gay. you get a 4 star for that comment --;

j/p i gave you a 5 but i almost gave you a 4


such a nice boy...
Moderatorfollow me on twitter if u think ur so tough @BooyaCow
DeadVessel
Profile Blog Joined April 2006
United States6269 Posts
June 11 2007 21:47 GMT
#10
On June 05 2007 08:07 vGl-CoW wrote:
ok thanks here's me playin around with some toilet paper

[image loading]

lmao
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