EPTIf you're just bored, then read on. :p
I intend to start where I think my life truly started to change. This means going back to when I was nine, when I met Jacqueline. My lifebuddy.
For those blessed with love, you probably know how it's like to feel incredibly lucky. As if the wheels of time granted such wonderful qualities to a single person every thousand years, and they had touched that one girl; and you feel like you, by some hidden grace, some gift you cannot see, have ended up the luckiest one of any million that would have loved her as dearly as you do. It makes you feel in debt of life in general for awhile. But, that part of the story comes in time.
Where I start is as an arrogant, pissy nine year old moving into a small town. My family moved a lot when I was young. This little spot in Missouri would be the sixth (of ten) places I'd live while growing up. The big difference between here and every other place is that this one changed my life.
I said I was arrogant and I meant it. I was teachers pet throughout all my life (and would remain that way until the sixth grade) and had been in several advanced classes. I was good at everything I tried doing, without exception. I was an overachiever, but I never felt that way. I felt superior, more mature than those around me, more understanding of life and it's working than those who had lived two or three times longer than I.
In other words, I was in a typical teenage mindset already.
I also said I was pissy and meant it. Due to my high level of self-importance, anyone operating outside of acceptable bounds was not tolerated. I was pissed off more often then I can look back and remember being anything else combined, and I was the most uptight nine year old that to this day I have ever met. If you didn't agree with me, I was pissed. If you touched me, I was pissed. And it was never my fault to me, but the inherent faults of others.
In other words, I was in a typical teenage mindset, with the addition of me being so uptight that I'm surprised my ass didn't tear holes in my pants through clenching up.
All in all, not an attractive person. But, somehow, it was exactly what was needed.
Three doors down from where I moved in, was a big house. Yard with four huge St. Bernard/Newfoundland mixed dogs in it. Living there was a pretty girl with pale skin and very long, very dark hair. She had freckles on her nose and cheeks from being outside all of the time, as she was a tomboy. Understanding, kind, but with a tough attitude towards those who threatened hers or others safety. I liked her as soon as I saw her. I did not like her so much after I got to know her. She loved to have fun, which I viewed as being childish. She was smarter than me, which I viewed as threatening. And most of all, she was persistent. I hated her for half a year before she finally made me her friend, and she never stopped pushing the bar. No matter how much I resisted being around her, pushed her away, said spiteful things and even forced her physically away, she kept coming back. Never holding a grudge, never becoming meek. Simply coming back and stubbornly asserting her place in my life.
I hated her for it, then, but I love her for it now.
That's enough introduction, I figure. I'll continue some other time, regardless of whether anyone caring. Simply writing about oneself is reflection worthy enough of pursuing, audience or not. Making it available to share with others is an open window through which to learn another persons life and take from it what you might or will.
