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I don't have conventional dreams which you see something positive, weird or negative, for past several years. Whenever I see one, it's very realistic and related to my real life in a twisted way.
tonight I had a perfect case of two of them, thought I should write before I forget.
In my dream I was at home on a Sunday and I was feeling extremely bored. Then I thought tomorrow is Monday so I'd go to high school and have fun with friends. (high school was one of the best part of my life, there were many fun friends and our class was like a funhouse).
And then in the dream, I went to sleep and woke up Monday morning. I was getting ready to go to school, trying to find my uniforms, shoes etc. and then there was an inner voice saying, where do you thing you are going? you finished high school more than 10 years ago? There aren't your fun classmates anymore. You will never be in such an environment again.
Then my dream self sat and started sobbing realizing those days are long past.
I woke up in real life and went to sleep after a few mins, to see the vol2 of bad dreams.
This one was very similar to the first one. It was the first year of collage when I had a huuuuggee crush on a girl. I still think she was the most perfect girl I have ever seen and I'd marry her without a thought if she accepted. I was getting prepared to go to school as I was very excited to see her in the class. I got a book, was looking for my bag and the same inner voice happened.
where do you thing are you going? You finished college years ago. And that girl rejected you. You won't ever see her in your life again. And you won't meet someone as perfect as her ever again.
Needless to say it was a very bad experience to relive some cherished memories and then reality thrown on your face by your own self. I woke up jumping from the bad and was a hair close to start sobbing.
I don't have any excitement to go on with my life. Everything feels empty and without taste and I won't have a life as good as those memories.
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I threw a shuriken into my fathers forhead, he died in my arms. I was emotionally upset and disappointed in my lack of medical training when i woke up.
I have questions. How do you know what conventional dreams are? Did the way you dream change?
I won't have a life as good as those memories.
How do you perceive time? Weren't those memories once the unknown future to you? Maybe try to remember what your mindset was before you made them.
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Experiences were never as good as memories, I know that I used to hate school, but in my memory it's a fun time.
On the flipside, if you hate your life and your surroundings, change them. Not all people have the power to, but most do.
Tbh you sound lonely, which is very normal. Try to find something you enjoy doing with people and there's a good chance you will find people you cherish who will cherish you. Common interest is a good base for a friendship after all.
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How do you know what conventional dreams are? Did the way you dream change?
Yes the way I dream changed. What I used to have were unrealistic, silly, good/bad dreams. Being able to fly at high speed, teleportation, changing things just by imagining (good), room filled with spiders and scorpions (bad), living on top of a train and trying not to fall (silly and bad).
Now my dreams are too similar to my real life, slices from past or present with a little twist, usually bad.
How do you perceive time? Weren't those memories once the unknown future to you? Maybe try to remember what your mindset was before you made them.
Before them the future was uncertain while having a better chance of good things happening. I attended schools which are considered good by local standards, with many like minded people gathering there. Now I have a certain skill set and some means, which more or less dictates what I can do in the future, without taking drastic turns.
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+ Show Spoiler +On May 26 2018 20:55 Archeon wrote:
Experiences were never as good as memories, I know that I used to hate school, but in my memory it's a fun time.
On the flipside, if you hate your life and your surroundings, change them. Not all people have the power to, but most do.
Tbh you sound lonely, which is very normal. Try to find something you enjoy doing with people and there's a good chance you will find people you cherish who will cherish you. Common interest is a good base for a friendship after all.
I'm lonely, that's true. Most of my friends that I could connect above a certain level moved hundreds of miles away. And to be honest many things are not fun to do without some friends around.
I wouldn't like to do things thinking to meet people, because it creates some expectation. Like people taking japanese classes to meet other people, then finding out there's no one interesting in the class which then it becomes a drag to go. I will try to do things on my own, at my pace, if I bump into people that way, they are welcomed 
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I'm not sure if there are such a thing as 'conventional dreams', but I'm kind of curious to find out.
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On May 21 2018 22:54 mantequilla wrote:
I don't have any excitement to go on with my life. Everything feels empty and without taste and I won't have a life as good as those memories.
To that, I say, try to control the things that you can and change that for the better.
Stupid advice but that's what I'd do.
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EPT
