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my life updated, lost in the world.

Blogs > DreamR
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DreamR
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
United Kingdom168 Posts
March 02 2016 02:06 GMT
#1
so if anyone remembers me i posted here around 8 months ago? saying how my life changed cause of an attacked that happened to me...well since then, ive been cheated on, made homeless, i have hardly any money to my name, and i feel like turning to the internet is literally all i got left,
i feel like i have no outlet, and nothing going for me...
im 22 and living in england, i can not go to any job due to my background history...
ive always wanted to work in korea,europe, somewhere where i can just get away and work.
...
i know this is literally the longest shot in the world.. but if anyone knows of anything that may help me literally get my life back in order. i am begging..
ive lost everything...
my partner, my livley hood. i literally am looking for anything.


This game saved me from ending it.
B-royal
Profile Joined May 2015
Belgium1330 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-03-02 04:42:05
March 02 2016 04:41 GMT
#2
No family or friends you can turn to? What about social security in England?
new BW-player (~E rank fish) twitch.tv/crispydrone || What plays 500 games a season but can't get better? => http://imgur.com/a/pLzf9 <= ||
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
March 02 2016 09:26 GMT
#3
Dunno what to say because I'm in deep shit too emotionally (not due to relations, mainly to my perspective on work and life). Just try to hang on dude. Life is hard but maybe we will find our path
Dating thread on TL LUL
NukeD
Profile Joined October 2010
Croatia1612 Posts
March 02 2016 12:15 GMT
#4
So whats your background history?
sorry for dem one liners
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32113 Posts
March 02 2016 14:38 GMT
#5
if you can't work domestically what makes you think moving is going to make it any different?

Try turnign to friends and any social services they have there. From your last post and this it seems you've got some issues with what happened - maybe there are free therapy services by you??
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
JWD[9]
Profile Blog Joined November 2015
364 Posts
March 02 2016 15:10 GMT
#6
noone will give you what you want.
you have to be strong. and fight through life.


That is a choice.

i got my college enrollment letter aswell! i got my interview on the 28th of august!
im starting IT LEVEL 2 technology!


I just read through your old blogs to get an idea about what you are going through.

As a DreamR the military is probably not an option. If it were, they offer education in IT aswell, you would be away and out of society most times, have a strict and structured day, payment is good, since you get fed and housed, though I don't know if you still have to support your little brother.

Is the social system that bad in the UK? State benefits are stigmatized, but if you don't give a hoot and don't need much else than a roof over your head for now and some time to recuperate.

i can not go to any job due to my background history


Since you don't elaborate, I just gonna tell you that I could not do that for two years either, because I felt cheated by life. I felt I deserved more, I was holding on to my pride as a measure of protection. My life stand still for a long time. I started meditation+ Show Spoiler +
This is a good place to get started if you wanna look into it, you can probably find an ebook version somewhere for free http://www.amazon.com/Meditation-Beginners-Jack-Kornfield-Ph-D/dp/1591799422
, and then finally could let go of all that hate and move on (it's not as smooth of a process as it may sounds).

Peaceful Warrior is a questionable movie. You see it and think, wow, they must have slaughtered an amazing book, then you read the book and think, wow, they made the most out of it in the movie, it's really shite. However, it puts some very positive and useful images in your head, and they hopefully will change you a little and help stirring yourself into a better life.

Also, no matter what you do, when you decide to move forward, be aware that the path you take will change you, and the goals you looked at might seem quite different to you.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17231 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-03-02 15:59:31
March 02 2016 15:47 GMT
#7
i rarely drink however... one night i did and met a guy just outside the place at closing time. he goes around during closing time and picks up liquor and beer bottles. i decided to talk further with this resourceful character. he stated he even developed a special route to take depending on waht night it is.. some employees who feel sorry for him and hate their boss will just outright hand him $20 worth of empty liquor bottles.

for food he forges fake coupons. the guy gets a whopper ( not a whopper junior.. the actual real whopper) , fries and drink for $3 in Canadian money.

find a good church and volunteer to do anything.. pick up garbage off the church property... unload the food off the food bank truck... putting up posters for their new events ... go from church to church until u find a good one. Once you do just start doing stuff.

my first-ever real. commercially-used database application was made for a church; they had a big food bank and the application was used to prevent slimeballs from double-dipping. the pastor was great at finding volunteer projects for whoever he met. it was awesome stuff. Visual Studio 2005... oh the memories

Disclaimer: i'm not christian

"looking for..."
if you are trying to retrain you mind to take on new, better habits and better behaviours.. do not "look for the truth" in your visualizations but rather "see the truth" in them. i'm not really one of these visualization guys... but for those that are .. it is an important and critical distinction.
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
ETisME
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
12680 Posts
March 02 2016 16:37 GMT
#8
I think Hawk said it well, going oversea is not going to do anything, at the end it is still about yourself.

Don't make your life more complicated by going oversea where you need to learn to get around, a whole new life style and social group.

The hardest part of getting over a mistake is not the getting up part imo, it is to have a clean mindset again and start anew while having the experience.

In China, we have a saying that you can clear your worries not only by cleaning your mind, but also by training your body.
其疾如风,其徐如林,侵掠如火,不动如山,难知如阴,动如雷震。
ragnasaur
Profile Blog Joined April 2006
United States804 Posts
March 02 2016 20:03 GMT
#9
read some zen stuff
| (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ) George Forman doesnt have any fingerprints
Cynry
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
810 Posts
March 04 2016 02:18 GMT
#10
DreamR, for how long have you been homeless ? Is short term safety a concern for you or are you "managing" ?
Glowsphere
Profile Blog Joined November 2014
United States170 Posts
March 04 2016 04:07 GMT
#11
Could try working on organic farm in exchange for room and board...

http://www.wwoof.net/
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
March 04 2016 08:03 GMT
#12
if you can escape a CRB police check then there are always jobs in nursing homes, just call up all the ones in your area from google maps and give a decent interview (got me a job)

print out 100 cvs from local library and walk around town giving them out (got me a job)

try calling/sending cvs to local institutions such as activity parks and holiday camps asking to be part of their cleaning team (not sure when holiday camps are open for the season but get your cv send and phone them and look forward to the interview....) (got me a job)

if you decide that you might like to make a lifestyle in doing digital or video game art then see if you can dedicate yourself to learning to draw (thats what im gonna do)

move up north where its insanely cheap for rent or much easier to get housing benefit i think? i would go on the rent a aprtment/room websites and find all the rooms that say dss is welcome and contact their estate agents asking for advice
Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
DreamR
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
United Kingdom168 Posts
March 04 2016 11:33 GMT
#13
i have been reading all thes, firstly thankyou for even replying..
i can not get onto a pc as much as i want to..
i have been carring for my mother till she died 3 years ago. since then..
i have been in and out of trouble. my ex of 7 year cheated on me..
i feel like everything i once knew. is gone..
i do wanna pour my heart out on here, but its a public forum. and some of my past will be deemed horrific.
if anyone can help me, put me in touch with a charity,friends,people in the same situatiuon as me. please email me.
chayzm1@gmail.com
i do feel like, when i can get on sc. it saves me.
all my troubles go away while im leading my terran army.
i know it sounds stupid. but if i didnt have the little time on sc that i can get. i would be in a much worser place.
i havent touched drugs near enough .. as much i would of done.
ive been out of police radar, for a while now also.
thank again. everyone.
This game saved me from ending it.
DreamR
Profile Blog Joined December 2012
United Kingdom168 Posts
March 04 2016 11:33 GMT
#14
On March 03 2016 00:10 JWD[9] wrote:
Show nested quote +
noone will give you what you want.
you have to be strong. and fight through life.


That is a choice.

Show nested quote +
i got my college enrollment letter aswell! i got my interview on the 28th of august!
im starting IT LEVEL 2 technology!


I just read through your old blogs to get an idea about what you are going through.

As a DreamR the military is probably not an option. If it were, they offer education in IT aswell, you would be away and out of society most times, have a strict and structured day, payment is good, since you get fed and housed, though I don't know if you still have to support your little brother.

Is the social system that bad in the UK? State benefits are stigmatized, but if you don't give a hoot and don't need much else than a roof over your head for now and some time to recuperate.

Show nested quote +
i can not go to any job due to my background history


Since you don't elaborate, I just gonna tell you that I could not do that for two years either, because I felt cheated by life. I felt I deserved more, I was holding on to my pride as a measure of protection. My life stand still for a long time. I started meditation+ Show Spoiler +
This is a good place to get started if you wanna look into it, you can probably find an ebook version somewhere for free http://www.amazon.com/Meditation-Beginners-Jack-Kornfield-Ph-D/dp/1591799422
, and then finally could let go of all that hate and move on (it's not as smooth of a process as it may sounds).

Peaceful Warrior is a questionable movie. You see it and think, wow, they must have slaughtered an amazing book, then you read the book and think, wow, they made the most out of it in the movie, it's really shite. However, it puts some very positive and useful images in your head, and they hopefully will change you a little and help stirring yourself into a better life.

Also, no matter what you do, when you decide to move forward, be aware that the path you take will change you, and the goals you looked at might seem quite different to you.



ty.
This game saved me from ending it.
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