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My New Colleague

Blogs > Grumbels
Post a Reply
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
January 19 2016 12:45 GMT
#1
At my new work there is a person who called me a know-it-all potentially dangerous person (!) who fancies himself better than others and closes himself off from objective information and is the kind of type to be a psychopath (!!) starting a school shooting (!!!). So I complained about this to another colleague and eventually word got back at her and now she feels validated that I can not be trusted because I don't have the decency to face her when I have a problem with her. And she says she was just concerned about her safety and she feels like she has a right to have this concern and she was only speculating about me because she feels I'm a potentially dangerous type. (????)

I don't really claim to understand it... It would be nice if my work wasn't dependent on organizing things with her even as she shoots down all my suggestions.

***
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
Saechiis
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands4989 Posts
January 19 2016 13:32 GMT
#2
Really? That sounds a bit absurd lol.
I think esports is pretty nice.
TwoTrickPony
Profile Blog Joined November 2015
30 Posts
January 19 2016 13:55 GMT
#3
I get the impression you're a bit awkward

Still though, those kinds of comments from her are way out of line. Pretty unfortunate you have to deal with someone like that...
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45229 Posts
January 19 2016 14:24 GMT
#4
Tell HR or whatever. That shit should be quelled immediately.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-01-21 22:30:04
January 19 2016 15:11 GMT
#5
On January 19 2016 23:24 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Tell HR or whatever. That shit should be quelled immediately.

Other people told me that, but I feel like one of the kids in the Mathilda book, where the teacher punishes the children in ways that are so severe and absurd that the parents think they are telling tall tales. And she herself, to justify her behavior, just told me she was being hypothetical about the potential danger of a personality type like mine and that I didn't properly understood what she was saying etc. But personally I felt it was utterly bizarre to even speculate about stuff like that and it made me feel super uncomfortable. Mind you that she's the same person who has probably a personality disorder and is apparentlycurrently suing her stalker or something like that. Her life seems a bit troublesome in many ways, but she is also awful to work with for many reasons and I'm not really alone in disliking her. But this incident felt really over the top.
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
January 19 2016 15:12 GMT
#6
On January 19 2016 23:24 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Tell HR or whatever. That shit should be quelled immediately.


This. What she is doing is way out of line.
OtherWorld
Profile Blog Joined October 2013
France17333 Posts
January 19 2016 17:58 GMT
#7
Wait, I'm not understanding anything. (1) how do you it is the kind of person to be a psychopath? (2) why do you think she might start a school shooting? (3) If this is your new work, I'm assuming you just arrived while she was already working here for some time, so why would you immediatly complain, especially to another colleague who's much more likely to be friendly towards your newfound ennemy than towards you? (4) maybe the job you just found is somehow menacing her own work, like she fears she'll be fired if you perform well?
Used Sigs - New Sigs - Cheap Sigs - Buy the Best Cheap Sig near You at www.cheapsigforsale.com
Glowsphere
Profile Blog Joined November 2014
United States170 Posts
January 19 2016 18:21 GMT
#8
On January 20 2016 02:58 OtherWorld wrote:
Wait, I'm not understanding anything. (1) how do you it is the kind of person to be a psychopath? (2) why do you think she might start a school shooting?


She is the one saying those things about the OP. I would go to HR too if it's as bad as it sounds.
OtherWorld
Profile Blog Joined October 2013
France17333 Posts
January 19 2016 19:41 GMT
#9
On January 20 2016 03:21 Glowsphere wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 20 2016 02:58 OtherWorld wrote:
Wait, I'm not understanding anything. (1) how do you it is the kind of person to be a psychopath? (2) why do you think she might start a school shooting?


She is the one saying those things about the OP. I would go to HR too if it's as bad as it sounds.

Hmm indeed, I guess I should learn to read twice sometimes d:
My last point still stands though, maybe what she wants is to create conflict because she feels the OP is a threat for her career
Used Sigs - New Sigs - Cheap Sigs - Buy the Best Cheap Sig near You at www.cheapsigforsale.com
Ej_
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
47656 Posts
January 20 2016 13:05 GMT
#10
prove her wrong by calling her at night and breathing heavily into the phone
"Technically the dictionary has zero authority on the meaning or words" - Rodya
y0su
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
Finland7871 Posts
January 20 2016 13:57 GMT
#11
Welcome to workplace politics. The things they don't actually cover in school... I also think the best thing to do is talk to HR (since it got this far - the key was never talk about her to another colleague in the first place).
Vivax
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
22151 Posts
January 20 2016 14:42 GMT
#12
What was the event that made her say that? It's not something you just randomly tell a newcomer.
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
January 20 2016 14:55 GMT
#13
On January 20 2016 23:42 Vivax wrote:
What was the event that made her say that? It's not something you just randomly tell a newcomer.

We are in a group of five interns that have to complete an internal project successfully before being offered work, basically. The background is that I told her that since I have a university education in computer science and she doesn't, and since I outperformed her in the in-house education/course (don't know how to call it), and since I bothered to actually read up on the theory and she didn't, maybe she should show a bit more willingness to consider my suggestions instead of dismissing them only to proceed to literally do nothing. She interpreted this as me feeling superior to her, and this lead to her "analysis", that "people of my type" were .... (see OP).

Anyhow, I do have an appointment with HR now, I guess it's necessary.
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17199 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-01-20 20:50:11
January 20 2016 20:32 GMT
#14
as an intern .. r u getting paid or what?

explaining to her how u r far better prepared than she is due to ur educational background and all these other details is "showing her your hand". bad move. how much do you really know about her? keep your cards close to the vest dude.

i'd be careful. i bet this has been her modus operandi for a long time and she has experience dealing with counter-moves against her bullshit...

don't be surprised if she has a really good response for your HR move...she probably wants this in HR.

i'd start recording every interaction you have with her and never be alone in any room with her ever unless that room is 100% covered by security cameras.

as nasty as office politics can be.. .HR politics is even worse. you could get labelled a "complainer" by going to HR as 'merely' an intern.

if u 2 are both unpaid interns then i think she feels her best shot at a paid job is the HR Hail Mary play... if she gets this thing into HR and makes a "connection" with the right girl in HR she can get into a paid job.

Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
OtherWorld
Profile Blog Joined October 2013
France17333 Posts
January 20 2016 21:00 GMT
#15
On January 20 2016 23:55 Grumbels wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 20 2016 23:42 Vivax wrote:
What was the event that made her say that? It's not something you just randomly tell a newcomer.

We are in a group of five interns that have to complete an internal project successfully before being offered work, basically. The background is that I told her that since I have a university education in computer science and she doesn't, and since I outperformed her in the in-house education/course (don't know how to call it), and since I bothered to actually read up on the theory and she didn't, maybe she should show a bit more willingness to consider my suggestions instead of dismissing them only to proceed to literally do nothing. She interpreted this as me feeling superior to her, and this lead to her "analysis", that "people of my type" were .... (see OP).

Anyhow, I do have an appointment with HR now, I guess it's necessary.

So you're basically a potential obstacle on her way to get the job, correct? I guess the drama is part of her plan, then. Be wary, she might be more intelligent than she looks.
Used Sigs - New Sigs - Cheap Sigs - Buy the Best Cheap Sig near You at www.cheapsigforsale.com
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
January 21 2016 08:53 GMT
#16
On January 20 2016 23:55 Grumbels wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 20 2016 23:42 Vivax wrote:
What was the event that made her say that? It's not something you just randomly tell a newcomer.

We are in a group of five interns that have to complete an internal project successfully before being offered work, basically. The background is that I told her that since I have a university education in computer science and she doesn't, and since I outperformed her in the in-house education/course (don't know how to call it), and since I bothered to actually read up on the theory and she didn't, maybe she should show a bit more willingness to consider my suggestions instead of dismissing them only to proceed to literally do nothing. She interpreted this as me feeling superior to her, and this lead to her "analysis", that "people of my type" were .... (see OP).

Anyhow, I do have an appointment with HR now, I guess it's necessary.

Good job, it is needed. Just explain as best you can like you wrote down here, try not to be super negative but say it is concerning for you.
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17199 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-01-21 18:27:22
January 21 2016 18:09 GMT
#17
if she said these things to you when it was just the 2 of you in the room and no one else heard what she said...then it might as well be that she never said a word to you.

i think she'll go to HR and claim you are making stuff up about her and claiming you're lying about what she said to you. she'll further claim you are spreading rumours about her by lying about her to your colleagues. she has the one collegue you blabbed to as evidence.

she has a 3rd party to verify her claim. you have only yourself to verify your claim.

i think what she was doing was a calculated move designed to get you to react in a certain way.

you may have just been check-mated dawg.
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7031 Posts
January 21 2016 21:01 GMT
#18
On January 22 2016 03:09 JimmyJRaynor wrote:
if she said these things to you when it was just the 2 of you in the room and no one else heard what she said...then it might as well be that she never said a word to you.

i think she'll go to HR and claim you are making stuff up about her and claiming you're lying about what she said to you. she'll further claim you are spreading rumours about her by lying about her to your colleagues. she has the one collegue you blabbed to as evidence.

she has a 3rd party to verify her claim. you have only yourself to verify your claim.

i think what she was doing was a calculated move designed to get you to react in a certain way.

you may have just been check-mated dawg.

I did not tell any details to HR though, just that she is unpleasant to work with and it interferred with my productivity and that I wanted to mention it and tell my side of it since there were general rumours of a bad work environment that had reached their ears already. I did not tell them any of the more lurid details, I thought that would be unwise.
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
JimmyJRaynor
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada17199 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-01-21 21:31:16
January 21 2016 21:19 GMT
#19
do you have any independent 3rd party verification of her statements about you possibly starting a school shooting and being a psychopath? according to your comments so far ...you do not have indepedent verification of these comments. it was 100% private between you and her.

she has independent verification that you were spreading rumours that she said you could be a psychopath that starts a school shooting via the person you complained to about this before going to HR.

you're in a bad position. she has independent verification for her claim and you do not. and you escalated things by booking an appointment with HR and taking up their valuable time.

if you go running to HR with a weak-ass complaint that has no bite to it.. HR will label you as a "whiner".
you either go into HR strong or not at all. Go Big.. or stay home.

this is all 3rd hand via a written blog... that said...
i'd say this girl is "crazy like a fox"
Ray Kassar To David Crane : "you're no more important to Atari than the factory workers assembling the cartridges"
domane
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Canada1606 Posts
January 21 2016 22:24 GMT
#20
It sounds like she was offended and perceives that someone who offends her is a bad or untrustworthy person.

It'd be better to keep a record of your communications, so that you have more to offer to HR than general information.
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