I'm rewatching Welcome to the NHK, a television show for maybe the third time. I don't plan on finishing the show and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't truly bring myself to watching all of the episodes. The show revolves around the lives of several depressed young adults and their way of coping with their problems in their unique ways.
I've also been participating in the StarCraft 1 Tournament, Teamliquid Legacy Starleague 3. I planned on getting pretty far and at the very least dashing the hopes of a few fettered souls long deprived of the euphoric pleasure of winning. Unfortunately, none of these thoughts came to fruition for I was abruptly and soundly defeated in both round one and round two of the preliminaries. Unfortunate? Yes. My carpal tunnel syndrome has gone away though since I stopped playing StarCraft as much but I also feel a lot more clumsier, like I'm puppeteer for my hands.
Besides StarCraft, I've also taken up my interest for trombone once again. I stopped playing the instrument roughly 2 years and 8 months. I played for nearly 5 years until my interest slowly petered out. I no longer have lessons with a teacher so I imagine that improvement will come by more slowly. I also started wondering why I play trombone so I looked up on google why people play musical instruments. Some reasons included health benefits and the pure fun but I was looking more into the meaning of music, what music meant to a person's life. In my mind, the same motivations to play StarCraft are similar to why a person might take up an instrument. There's a joy of improvement and in general both activities can be fun. Overall, playing trombone again may be brief just by seeing how enthusiastic I am.
In my search for reasons people play instruments I also read about and watched interviews of Yo-Yo-Ma, a renowned and successful cello player, in his passion for music. He's surprisingly light-hearted and makes jokes occasionally. Watching him talk about music is strangely awe-inspiring, he puts so much passion into his music and he compared his cello that he almost lost to his voice. He's engrossingly immersed into music, truly a spectacle to behold.
Additionally, in general, life feels ominously still, frozen in time. I feel like I have all the time to reflect, ponder, and do what I want to do when I want to as a decision maker. Life is quickly passing and shortening so I guess to myself I should plan ahead and make sure I spend the years meaningfully. Even now I know what I must do but at the same time I don't carry out my tasks. There's a lot of time. I've also come to realize harsh truths so I feel I can better understand myself and why I think the thoughts and do the actions I do.
Moreover, the idea that life is surreal and all too real at the same time springs into my mind. I always felt like the main character, I was conscious, I could look through my own eyes and in particular I felt the universe was looking through my eyes. How could the universe not, for the universe decided to grant myself consciousness while everyone else runs on auto pilot or so I thought. Some people likewise may think the same of me.
Again, people are strange, they're real and they exist, but are almost too real. They are of flesh and bone and they exist in time and occupy space. I can interact with them, I can say and and do things that will cause a response. They have thoughts and uniquely think independently. I observantly look at a person and I see flesh, bones, a reaction, a mind, words, a personality, a sense of existence in real time, a sense of being, an occupation of space, a remoteness from my own sense of being, and all of these characteristics are contained somehow in the human body. People, they are only people, nothing else. Life will precariously carry on, people will work, have fun with friends, marry, have kids, and then after life's bidding is all said and done they go cold. Again they are still flesh and bones.
There is more to be said of the entire subject of life's trivialities but to be truthful I care no longer to add more thoughts. If you read the words I have written before you, I hope that you feel as though you've spent your limited time well. Part 2 may or may not ever come to light.
Sincerely, Mister Ty2.